Where Leads the Heart

by Colleen Coble

  When there were only two more dances left, Jessica’s father insisted on a dance with his daughter. Rand glanced Sarah’s way, then made his way determinedly through the throng.

  “Are you promised for this dance?” he asked politely.

  “Not really,” Sarah said. “I don’t think Joel will mind if he doesn’t have to dance. I told him he had to dance with me so he could begin to learn. But his lesson will wait.” She slid into his arms, and he guided her onto the floor.

  “You were right,” she admitted reluctantly.

  “About what?”

  “Ah-ho-appa wants to marry a soldier and live in a home like mine. When I objected, she and Morning Song both thought I didn’t think they were good enough to marry a white.”

  He nodded. “I’d heard Ah-ho-appa refused her father’s choice for her. But don’t beat yourself up over it. It may have happened anyway. There are a lot of Indian squaws who jump at the chance to take a soldier. And their families are well paid for them.”

  “That’s awful!”

  “I know, but it’s the way things are out here. A squaw doesn’t have much value. Although, as pretty as your friends are, they’ll probably fetch a high price,” he said regretfully. “That will be a strong incentive to their fathers.”

  “Isn’t there anything we can do?” Sarah couldn’t stand the thought of her young friends sinking into that kind of life.

  “Not really. Just be a friend to them. It’s probably too late to do anything else.”

  The dance ended, and Rand escorted her to her chair. He stared down at her with a curious look on his face. It seemed almost tender. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by Jessica’s arrival.

  “There you are, darling,” she cooed. “Be a dear and fetch me some punch.”

  “Of course. Would you care for some, Sarah?”

  “No, thank you,” she said, turning before he could see the hurt in her eyes at his distant but polite tone.

  As soon as he was out of earshot, Jessica turned to her furiously. “Just what do you think you’re going to accomplish by staying here? I want you to stay away from Rand. He’s mine now! You had your chance with him and you let him slip away.” She stepped closer and lowered her voice threateningly. “I’m warning you, Miss Montgomery.”

  Sarah spread her hands placatingly. “Miss DuBois, we’re just friends. And I’d like to be your friend, too.”

  “Then stay away from Rand!”

  A spot of red on each cheek, Sarah opened her mouth to reply, but she shut it quickly when Rand returned with Jessica’s punch.

  Sarah was shaking as she hurried to find her cloak and go home. The party was over for her. She was tired and discouraged in spite of her bravado. Everything seemed so hopeless. Jessica was a formidable opponent.

  Isaac stopped her at the door. “Leaving already?”

  “I’m very tired,” she said as she slipped the cloak over her shoulders.

  “I was just coming to claim a dance. As compensation you must let me walk you home.” Isaac grabbed his hat and greatcoat, then held open the door for her.

  The cold, crisp air stung Sarah’s cheeks as she took Isaac’s arm on the front porch of Old Bedlam and walked across the parade ground with him. At her front door, she paused. “I’d ask you in for a cup of coffee, but it wouldn’t be proper with no one else home.”

  He grinned. “That’s all right. Maybe next time. And I really would like there to be a next time. I know you used to be engaged to Rand, but you need to get on with your life. With your permission, I’d really like to call on you.”

  Sarah hid her surprise. She’d seen Isaac hovering close over the past few weeks, but she had thought he was just being kind because he knew how hurt she’d been. “I don’t know, Isaac,” she said. “You’re a good friend, and I’d hate to ruin our friendship.”

  “How could we ruin it? We could have some Bible study together and become better friends.”

  Sarah was tempted. Isaac was a good Christian man and she had a lot of respect for him. Were things with Rand really past hope? “All right,” she said uncertainly. “But I can’t make any promises, Isaac.”

  Isaac nodded. “I understand. But we both love God, and we shouldn’t shut the door on something that may be His will. Let’s just see where He leads.” He touched her hand briefly and turned to go.

  Sarah watched as he walked back toward Old Bedlam before going inside. He was right. God wouldn’t want her to marry Rand unless he became a Christian. She had to be willing to walk through any open door He chose. No matter how hard it was.

  Her heart was still heavy the next morning as she and Joel set out for the school. Ah-ho-appa was conspicuously absent, and Morning Song refused to even look at her. Sarah’s heart ached as she saw the stiffness in her friend’s demeanor. Everything seemed such a hopeless tangle.

  Things went on this way for two days when finally Sarah had enough. Thanksgiving was coming soon, and she wanted her friend to come for dinner.

  “Don’t go, Morning Song,” she said as the Indian girl stood to go home. “I want to talk to you.”

  The girl almost seemed like her old self as she nodded and motioned her brother to go on without her.

  “You seem to be avoiding me. I can’t stand for you to be upset with me. Won’t you please forgive me if I hurt you when we talked last? I really didn’t mean I didn’t think you were good enough for a soldier. Any man would be very lucky to get you or Ah-ho-appa. I tried to see her, but her mother refused.”

  Morning Song smiled. “I very angry, but no more. Say-rah my friend. I know you not wish to hurt me. And I have new friend.”

  Sarah’s heart sank at the glow on the girl’s lovely face. “A man?”

  The girl nodded. “Him very handsome. Very light hair with eyes like stormy sky.”

  Sarah tried to think of a soldier who fit that description, but she couldn’t think of who it might be. “What’s his name?”

  “Him new fur trader. Ben Croftner.” Morning Song smiled a secret smile as she said his name.

  Sarah stepped back as from a blow. “Oh, Morning Song. Not Ben. He’s a very wicked, evil man.” She caught the girl’s arm. “Please, please stay away from him!”

  Morning Song shook her hand off. “He tell me you will say this. But he loves me, Say-rah. Him good man. Give my father five horses for me. We marry tomorrow.”

  “Please, Morning Song. I beg you. Don’t do this. It isn’t a legal marriage. Ben won’t stay with you.”

  The girl just gave her an angry stare and stalked off. “I thought my friend be happy for me, but I wrong,” she called back over her shoulder. “You my friend no more, Say-rah.”

  Sarah clasped her hands and paced the floor. What could she do? She couldn’t just stand back and let Morning Song make a mistake like that. She caught up her cloak and hurried to the door. There just might be one hope.

  She borrowed a horse from the stables and found the trail leading to the trading post across the river. Jacob and Rand would both be furious if they discovered what she was doing, so she kept a sharp eye out for them as she left the fort. Luckily no one was about as she forded the river and urged the horse up the trail. It was the first time she’d been outside the fort grounds on her own. She was a little fearful and kept looking around for signs of any Indians. But she was determined to do what she had to.

  The trading post was almost deserted when she arrived. A few Sioux hunkered around a fire in the front and looked up as she approached the door. Labe was just coming out the door as she slid off her horse.

  “Sarah! What are you doing here?”

  “I’d hoped you hadn’t followed Ben out here, Labe. I need to see him. Is he here?”

  He nodded. “He’s in his office. I’ll show you.” He opened the door and led her across the dirt floor to a battered door. He rapped on it once, then swung it open for her.

  Ben looked up when he heard the door open. “Sarah?” He rose to his feet eagerly, but his smi
le faded as soon as he saw the look on her face. His expression masked, he motioned for her to sit down on the crate across from his crude table. “To what do I owe the honor of this call?”

  “I want you to leave Morning Song alone,” she said abruptly. She didn’t have time for any pleasantries, even if she was inclined to offer them, which she wasn’t. “We both know you don’t really care about her. She’s too sweet for you to ruin.”

  He stroked his chin. “She’ll be a lovely addition to my home, don’t you think? And Indian women really know how to treat a man. I just don’t see how I can agree with your request.”

  “Please, Ben. Don’t do this.” She leaned forward. “I can’t bear to see her hurt.”

  “You’re begging now, are you? Well, I might agree under one condition.” He smiled gently. “You could take her place.”

  Sarah flushed. She should have known he’d suggest something like this. “You’re mad. You know how I feel about you.”

  He stood and thrust his hands into his pockets. “You’re just angry, and I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be. But anything I did was only because I loved you. And you haven’t had any luck with Rand, now have you?”

  “Maybe not, but I couldn’t marry a man I couldn’t trust.” Sarah stood. There was no more to say. She loved Morning Song, but it was out of her hands. Ben was the very antithesis of the kind of man God would have her marry.

  “Then the wedding proceeds tomorrow as planned.”

  “You know it’s not a real wedding! You’ll just send her back to her family when you’re tired of her.”

  Ben sneered. “She’s just a savage, Sarah. That’s all Indian women are good for.”

  “She’s sweet and good and pure. You’ll take that and destroy it!”

  “My, my, you do have an exalted opinion of me, don’t you? Well, you just run on back to your precious Rand and let me take care of my own affairs. But don’t think this is the last of our discussion. I mean to have you, Sarah. One way or the other. Things will never be over between us.”

  She shivered as she made her way back to Fort Laramie, and not just from the cold. Ben seemed so cold and evil. She didn’t know what he might try. The fort was in an uproar when she arrived. She found Rand and Jacob mounted and ready to leave when she reached the stables.

  “Where have you been?” Rand demanded angrily. “We’ve looked all over the garrison. You know you’re never to leave the grounds unaccompanied. Rooster’s predicting a blizzard. What if you’d been caught in it? What if the Sioux had taken you? Don’t you have any sense?”

  She slid off her horse and lifted her head. He wasn’t going to browbeat her! “You don’t have any say over what I do. And what would you care, anyway?” She didn’t wait for his answer as she led her horse into the stable. The odor of horses, straw, and manure struck her as she escaped from the avid stares of the soldiers and the incessant wind.

  Rand jumped off Ranger and followed her into the stable. “I’d care, all right!” He grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again.”

  She stared up at him, her green eyes huge in her heart-shaped face. Did he really care, or was he just angry?

  Rand muttered an exclamation and pulled her close against his chest. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you,” he whispered.

  Sarah could hear his heartbeat under her ear, and she was very conscious of his warm, male scent. He stroked her hair, then pulled her away from his chest and tilted her chin up. She looked at him, her eyes luminous with tears. His eyes searched her face and he lowered his head. Sarah closed her eyes and waited for his kiss, but it never came. Rand loosened his grip on her and stepped away just a moment before Jessica came rushing into the stables. Sarah was sure her face was scarlet, and she turned away quickly to tend to her horse.

  “There you are, Rand. I’ve been looking all over Laramie for you. I see you found Sarah. Where was she?”

  Sarah’s irritation rose as Jessica continued to talk as though she weren’t there. “I went for a ride,” she interrupted.

  “A ride? Are you mad? In the dead of winter with hostile savages around? I’ve wondered about you before, Sarah, but this borders on lunacy.” Jessica’s voice was acidic. “Well, no harm done, I suppose. But you caused a dreadful commotion. It seems to me you could have thought to inform someone of your plans. Unless, of course, you wanted to upset everyone.”

  “I didn’t mean to cause any alarm. I thought I’d be back before anyone missed me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really must get home.” Sarah brushed by her and avoided Rand’s anxious gaze. She just wanted to be alone. Rand did have feelings for her, but what difference did it make? Jessica wasn’t about to give him up. And Rand wouldn’t be the one to break the engagement. She knew him too well. And anyway, he still wasn’t a Christian, no matter how much she prayed.

  The next day she watched from the window as Ben arrived with five horses to take possession of his bride. In a beautifully beaded dress bleached to a pale yellow, Morning Song was seated on a horse almost the color of her dress. Her unbound hair, rippling past her waist, gleamed in the weak sunshine as she followed her new husband back to their little cabin beside the fur post. Sarah wept as she saw her friend’s glowing face look back one last time.

  The next day the weather made one of its drastic changes. The temperature plummeted, and the wind picked up. Then the blizzard Rooster had predicted struck in all its fury. The wind howled and blew snow through cracks around the windows. They all had to fight to keep the fires going in the fireplace. Jacob finally gave up the fight in the bedroom and dragged the bed and their belongings out into the kitchen.

  They hung blankets over the doorway into the hall to try to block the flow of cold air. By the time the storm had vented its full fury, there were drifts of snow over the windows. Jacob opened the door only to be met with a column of snow completely covering the opening. They were effectively buried until the enlisted men dug them out. It was evening before they heard the scraping of shovels and friendly hellos from outside the door.

  Sarah stood beside Jacob as he opened the door and two half-frozen men stumbled inside, their faces, beards, hair, and clothing all packed with snow.

  “Glad to see you all are all right,” the youngest private sputtered as he complied with Sarah’s urging and took off his coat before staggering toward the fire. “The colonel said to tell you to stay inside tonight. We got a path dug out pert near all around the post so we can get from building to building. And the wood detail will be here with a load soon.”

  The other private blew into his reddened hands, too tongue-tied at being so close to two women to speak.

  Amelia poured them all a cup of hot coffee and offered them bread and jam, which they accepted with alacrity. “Much obliged, ma’am,” the young private said, regretfully getting to his feet when the last crumb of bread was devoured. “We best be heading back to check with the colonel.”

  They saw their deliverers to the door and peered out the narrow path left by their busy shovels. “It looks like a maze,” Sarah said, unable to believe what she saw. The snow towered over twelve feet in many places. The narrow path trailed down the steps and around the corner toward Old Bedlam.

  Jacob saw her shivering and shut the door. “You girls had better stay in until the weather breaks. Feels like it’s at least twenty below. Exposed skin freezes in seconds in this kind of temperature.”

  §

  The weather didn’t break for days. There would be a couple of days of bright sunshine, but the temperatures were way below zero and the wind howled and blew the snow into ever-changing drifts. Those days would be followed by more snow and yet more snow. Sarah and Amelia took to pacing around the tiny quarters when Jacob and Rand were gone on duty. Jacob was sent out on telegraph duty several times, he was officer of the day three times, and he took his turn guarding the cattle and horse herds. They all tried to keep busy. Sarah playe
d endless games of checkers with Joel and Amelia while Jacob and Rand saw to their duties.

  Mail hadn’t been able to get through either. Sarah longed for news from home. Surely Rachel had delivered the baby by now.

  Jacob kept them informed of the goings-on at the post. Big Ribs had returned with the Corn band of Brule’ ready to make peace. Then Man-Afraid-of-His-Horses trudged in with his band of Oglala. The winter had been hard on all of them.

  Sarah was forced to discontinue the lessons with the Indian children. The weather was too cold for the little ones to be out, but she intended to start again in the spring. Her thoughts turned often to her friend, and she wondered how Ben was treating her. She continued her lessons with Joel, in spite of his protests. But no amount of activity could distract her long from her worry about her friend. And the confinement just made her dwell on the situation with Rand even more. Depression overwhelmed her all too easily.

  twelve

  The weather finally broke and with its usual capriciousness turned unseasonably balmy. Sarah had dreamed about Morning Song again and she was anxious about her friend; she couldn’t think about anything else.

  “When will you be going to the trading post again?” she asked Jacob over breakfast.

  “As a matter of fact, I have to run over there this morning. The colonel has a message to deliver. Why?”