by Mynx, Sienna
“I understand,” she heard herself say. “Helpless.”
He nodded. “I fell asleep in the grass, when I awoke I saw something not far from me, a single flower. It stood proud and alone, no real chance of discovery, lost in the wilderness like myself. Yet it survived, with pink petals that stretched to the sun. It was my Leoti. An unexpected gift of hope.”
He let go of her hand and sat back. “Soon after, I found my grandfather with the flower as my compass. You were lost I imagine, wandering. Now you have no memory but hope isn’t gone. Some things are destined. My finding you was. So I named you ‘Leoti.’”
“What does your name mean?” she asked.
“Elu means ‘Full of Grace.’”
Josie smiled “That describes you perfectly.” The silence between them deepened, but his eyes never left hers. She didn’t know what to say. But she tried. “Why if I can’t remember my name, or my family, why do I know other things? Like how to speak and what things are, but just things and not people and places?”
“Maybe, you choose to forget? To remember only what you can handle. Maybe your soul is weary and you need time to heal.”
“Maybe.”
“But the mystery will be over soon.”
“How is that?”
Elu stood. “I’m going to find your cabin. I will gather your things. We can contact your people.”
”I have a cabin?”
“I believe so.”
“Did we meet? Before the accident?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“In town.”
“What did I say?”
“Not much. You were shopping, but you aren’t from here. I believe you were at a cabin, I will find out and see if others are looking for you.”
“You should have done that already. What if my family is out there? You should’ve—.”
“I apologize; my first concern was caring for you. I will look for them immediately.”
Relief washed over her. Josie sucked in a cool breath, the tea now having cleared her breathing. “Thank you, Elu,” she said holding the blanket to her chest. “Can I ask what you did with my clothes?”
Elu looked at her sheepishly. He hadn’t had a woman in his place in over four years. Maybe he did go too far in removing her bra, but he had good reason. “I’ll get them for you, afterwards I’ll leave and see if I can find your people.”
“Thank you, Elu, for bringing me out of the prairie.”
He stopped under the arch of the door and looked back. They shared another smile before he walked out.
****
“So what say you Milton, is this where the pretty black lady was staying?” Elu asked as they approached the closed up cabin.
“Yeah, it’s the Arlen rental. She handled the reservation with him through the internet or something. He’s doing all of his rentals that way since he left for contract work in Afghanistan.”
“Did he leave any contact information or leasing agreement for her?”
“Nope, she just drove up and went straight in.” Milton spat a stream of tobacco, and then wiped the spittle from his lips.
Elu checked the door finding it locked. “Open it.”
“Huh?”
“Open it.”
“I can’t do that. You know the rules, Elu.”
“The door, Milton.” Elu said again. He didn’t want to disclose to anyone about the accident. He would wait until she was better before people descended upon her. Besides he was growing very protective of her safety. Why was she driving on the wrong side of the road? Where was she going?
Milton rolled his eyes and marched up the steps. “If anything goes missing this is on you. I’m leaving! I want no parts of this. The Sheriff will have my hide, and yours too.”
Elu gave it no further thought. He walked right in, greeted by the lilac smell of her perfume. She’d been there. He went through the cabin. The kitchen had coffee in the pot and half eaten toast on a saucer. In the room there was paper scattered over the bed and folders that contained legal documents. Elu gathered them into a nice pile. He discovered her briefcase and tucked everything inside. He searched for anything with her name on it. Finding nothing, he packed her bags. Her purse must have been in the car with her identification. Before leaving he saw a journal resting on the nightstand. He picked it up running his hand over the leather binding. Staring at it in wonder he fingered the pink ribbon that held it closed. Something about the journal unnerved him. This was it, her thoughts, her dreams, her reality, which he burned to know more of. Respecting her privacy he tucked it in with the rest of her belongings. He then carried out her bags. The journal, not secured in the bag back out onto the cabin floor. Elu didn’t notice before he closed the door. Going to his truck he whistled for Po to jump in.
“I guess the mystery will be solved soon friend,” he sighed somewhat disappointed that she’d be gone before he really got to know her.
****
Josie slowly rose off the bed. Dressing was a chore. Wearing her own clothes made her feel stronger so she endured the discomfort. They’d been washed and neatly presented to her. Slow and steady she made her way to the kitchen, bracing her hand to her wounded side to ease the pressure of each step. She carried her mug in the other. The tea, as vile as it was, worked, and she wanted more. The raw burning was returning to her chest making it hard to breathe. At the counter she saw a box of Carlton potato crisps. Her eyes lingered then narrowed on one word.
Carlton
Strange. The feeling of awareness was fleeting. It was like catching a glimpse of a face in a passing car. She strained to recall the nugget of clarity but nothing came, just the dull ache of not knowing. Josie gripped the kitchen sink. Her head dropped and she held on to keep from going to her knees. Weak and a little nauseous, she considered the journey back to the bedroom. Could she make it?
Then the soft rumbling of a truck engine could be heard. Elu had returned. Her head lifted and she leaned forward to peer out of the kitchen window. He got out of the truck and then hauled luggage and a brief case with him. Her things! Finally something. Finally.
“Hey,” he said surprised to find her standing. “You shouldn’t be up.”
Po galloped at her and she braced at the sink before he leapt, placing his paws on her thighs, tongue wagging. Josie winced but scratched his head.
“Po, down!” Elu commanded.
“He’s okay.”
“You’re still recovering and Po will be all over you if you let him.”
Josie put the mug in the sink. “Is that my stuff?”
“Yes.”
Her stuff. She dragged herself forward with shuffling feet. The bags weren’t familiar but she did feel comfort at having them. The briefcase is what really caught her eye. Who was she? A business woman? Someone important? Elu put her things down and her eyes went up when he approached.
“I—” Without warning she was swept into his arms. “What are you doing?” she gasped.
“You shouldn’t be on your feet,” he carried her to the sofa and placed her gently upon it. The warmth of that embrace lingered as he released her. His face was close, for a moment they shared an intense awareness and he paused. He gave her another appraisal and it wasn’t the doctor patient kind. No this time he was all man, and she felt the heat and desire burning within his caring eyes. She inhaled sharply when he withdrew. The break in their connection caused a surge of disappointment. How could this man have that affect on her when she didn’t even know him? She didn’t even know herself.
“Thank you,” she muttered under her breath.
Elu nodded, not reading her body language. He couldn’t have by the distance he put between them. Or did he? He retrieved her bags and placed them at her feet. Josie ignored the suitcase and duffle bag. She put the briefcase on her lap and opened it. File folders with what looked to be clippings and articles about black slaves and indigenous people around the Sea Islands off the coast of Florida. There were legal docume
nts and more shockingly, a few arrest photos with inmates name and details on their appeals. She found notes, lots of notes as if she were writing a research paper.
“This is crazy. I’m either a cop or college student?”
“Is that what it says?” Elu asked.
She frowned and nodded. Josie spent the next twenty minutes going through the files. Reading the stories on the Gullah people fascinated her but nothing sparked. In fact she felt more dread than anything else when she read the inmate case profiles and her notes on an appellate process. There were names listed all over the documents but she couldn’t tell if any were her own.
“Was there anything else?”
“A typewriter,” he said. “The antique kind with raised keys and a sliding roll. You know?”
“Yeah. I must have been a professor instead of a student. Maybe I taught law?”
Elu sat across from her in his favorite recliner. Po’s head rested upon his lap. He stroked the dog behind the ears. He didn’t want to speak and further agitate a tense moment, because the tension between her wrinkled brows showed she was not happy at what she was reading. A professor? He didn’t really consider that the career for her, but she had a wisdom about her. He felt it. Or did he just see what he wanted to with his Leoti? She belonged to a world outside of his that was evident by those fancy heels he’d had to remove from her feet.
“Is this all? What about a purse or wallet?”
Elu shrugged. “There was nothing like that there.”
Josie frowned. “I came to town with no identification?”
“The car you were in exploded, I’m sure it was in there. I can go check tomorrow.”
She slammed down the briefcase. Her eyes shined with guarded tears.
“Leoti, all’s not lost. Give it time.”
“You don’t know how it feels!” she snapped. She dropped her head back and closed her eyes. A tear rolled. Po went to her and rested his head on her knee. It was hard for either of them to see her in pain. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’ve been kind. I just feel like I’m sleepwalking. What if I’m married? What if I have kids and they’re waiting on me?”
“You have no ring.” Elu added.
Josie looked at her hand. She felt strongly like a ring should be there. But there wasn’t. Not even a tan line. “I don’t know what to do.”
“A week, maybe two, give it time and let it come. We will figure it out. I promise you.”
“I can’t impose on you like this.”
“Consider it a favor. I would enjoy the company. Besides, that head wound will heal soon and your memory will return.”
Josie nodded. “I hope so.”
“What would you like for dinner?”
“Hey, I don’t even remember my name; I surely don’t know what I like to eat.”
Elu chuckled. “Fair enough. I will make us something special.”
Later
Over dinner he told her of his childhood and why he’d never leave the Blackfoot mountains. She listened attentively and asked few questions. It had been a long time since he’d had such an open conversation with someone he’d just met.
“Why haven’t you married?” she asked.
“I did.”
“Really?”
He thought he heard disappointment in her voice. He looked up from his plate. “I married my best friend’s sister. She owned this land. I built this cabin for her. Po was the pup I gave her as a wedding gift.”
Josie glanced to Po who was on his doggy pillow, his brow rose to see if she wanted anything, then he relaxed with disinterest.
“He’s motherless and I’m alone.” Elu finished.
Her eyes went around the cabin once more as if seeing it again for the first time. From across the table he observed and waited for her gaze to return to his.
“What happened to her? Are you still married?”
“She has moved on, died, from leukemia four years ago.”
Her face twisted with worry. It touched him that she would even care. “The doctors said the poison they pumped in her veins would prolong her life. I knew better, but I was so desperate I abandoned my faith and turned her fate over to them. Toward the end I’d had enough of her suffering. I brought her home. I took care of her and she lived another six months. But my time to heal had passed and there was no more to be done. She was not meant to be with me for long.”
“I’m sorry, Elu. So sorry.”
His head tilted a little. “Do you remember love?”
“Love?”
“Yes, you know love, the sweet and bitter taste of life. When it arrives and leaves in the same moment you learn so much about your heart. I loved her completely, but I never knew what complete love was until the day she died in my arms. So I’m not angry or cheated, I’m accepting of what she brought to my life and the lessons it taught me.”
“You should be a poet.” Josie laughed. “Forgive me. I wasn’t trying to disrespect you, it’s just, the way you talk about things, even with my foggy brain I know it’s beautiful.”
“Faith can be beautiful.” He winked.
“I can only imagine that she loved you too. You’re a really kind man.”
“Why, because I dressed your wounds?” he asked directly.
“Because you care.” She smiled. The greatest feature of her beauty was her smile. It reached her eyes and sparked such energy that her face glowed.
“Would you like to go outside? For some air? The night is worth it.”
“Yes.”
Elu rose and went to her chair. Her hand placed in his, she let him be the guide as he walked her toward the door at her pace. Outside in the night he helped her to the cushioned seat of the porch swing. Carefully she eased into it. He joined her. The bench rocked back and forth on chains. Po walked out and took a seat at the step, his head resting on his paws, and his eyes looking to the moon, a large glowing orb that sat up above the trees majestic and beautiful. So wonderful in fact neither of them could speak.
“What do you do? For a living?”
“There’s a lumber mill fifty miles east of here, I work three days a week there.”
“Cutting down trees?”
“Cutting down trees. But I plant new ones for each one I take,” he said.
“Sounds like you. Bet that isn’t part of the job description.”
“It is not.”
They rocked.
The closeness wasn’t forced. When he lifted his arm and put it to the back of the chair, she eased in closer. He rocked the porch swing for them with his foot pushing against the floorboards. “That moon, is it a good sign? Does it mean I’ll be okay?”
“Yes. It’s your moon. I looked for it yesterday and it did not appear. It only comes for you.”
Her head turned and the action brought her face close to his. Her hair had a natural untamed puffiness that was fitting for her beauty. She was earthy, real, and he felt humbled in her presence. Leoti didn’t speak. Instead she rested against the crook of his arm for comfort. He wasn’t sure of how much it brought for her, but it gave him such pleasure. Her nearness made his senses spin.
They rocked.
“Elu?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think there’s anybody looking for me. If there were I’d feel it. I’d know it. Right now all I feel is how perfect things are right now. It’s scary not knowing who I am. Thank you for being the one who found me.”
She lifted her head and their faces were closer than either intended. His free hand lifted and he traced his fingers down her soft hair to her neck. She was so close, and the desire to have her closer played against his better judgment. She may not belong to anyone, but she could not belong to him if she didn’t know who she was. Besides a woman with her beauty and spirit had to have others that cared for her. He swallowed tightly. Elu refused to believe that she was some lonely professor, a wanderer.
“I, I…” she started. Her head tilted, her mouth dangerously close to his. “I think I wa
nt to kiss you.”
It was the permission he sought. Elu kissed her softly, fully, deeply, and she gave into it freely. Her lips plump and lush under his and her warm sweet breath came into his mouth.
This kiss. The very air around her felt electrified and she was wrapped in tidal waves of invisible warmth. Their first was more than she anticipated. Minutes faded into a block of time that suspended and she was left with no choice but to succumb to the bliss. His fingers went through her hair from the back of her neck, brushing her nape as his large hand firmed and pulled her in for a deeper connection. His thrusting tongue explored her mouth with a desperate hunger that left her breathless.
Deeper and deeper they kissed until her lungs burned and her body shook with pleasure. It hurt to lift her arms, but she couldn’t help the urge. She had to touch his feather light hair to feel it between her fingers as she recalled what pleasures being with a man could bring. He stopped her too soon. Broke the connection that was so genuine she resented him for his hesitance.
“I’m okay, I want to kiss you,” she said touching his hair, trying to kiss him again.
He put a single finger to her lips and stopped her. She opened her eyes and looked up at him curiously.
“I do too.” He reassured her. “But you aren’t well and we must be careful. You don’t know—.”
“I understand.” She pouted pulling away. He rose, with a beefy sigh for his own restraint. Her eyes followed him as he stepped to the edge of the porch and looked out into the dark night. Po barked once at him and then lowered his head.
Elu stepped down from the porch to put distance between them. It was hard to break away with the erection between his legs embarrassingly strong. His sweet Ella predicted in her passing that she would send him his soul mate. He didn’t believe her promise. Then he kissed Leoti. In that instant he knew more than ever he had to know this wonderful woman. Desires like his were too much of a burden to put on a stranger he’d plucked from the side of the road. He had to be careful.
“Come sit with me. Please,” she pleaded softly behind him. “I want to try to kiss you again, it helps my healing. It’s the medicine I need.” She teased. He dropped his head smiling, and glanced back. She rocked the porch swing, grinning at him.
