The Sound of Your Heart (College Bound Book 3)

by Laura Ward

  The box moved away and there was a swishing of cardboard sliding on wood as Leo finally answered. “Me neither, bro.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Julie

  Saturday, I slept through the knocks at the door. My room was pitch black, even during the day, thanks to thick, light-blocking curtains. With my eyes open or closed, the world around me appeared the same. All I could think about was Ben. This was his world day in and day out. He had to rely on every other sense to be able to trust someone with his heart. He couldn’t rely on what he saw.

  If he had seen me go with Phil to his room, what would he have thought? Or if he had seen what I looked like when I came downstairs would he have imagined the worst?

  Would he have believed me?

  Would he have trusted me no matter what?

  The thought that he wouldn’t was too painful to bear. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

  ***

  “Jules?” Lex peeked her head into my darkened room. “Are you okay?”

  Unable to lift my head from the pillow, I kept my eyes closed as I responded. “I think I have the flu. So sick. Need to sleep.” My raw, shaky voice seemed to validate my story.

  “Feel better. Call if you need me,” Lex said before closing my door and shrouding me in blissful darkness. Beyond my room, I could hear the rest of my sisters enjoying the weekend. I turned over onto my other side and went back to sleep.

  ***

  “Good morning! How are you feeling?” Taren sat on the edge of my bed, waking me from what felt like a coma-deep sleep. She placed her hand on my forehead. “No fever, so that’s good.”

  “I feel like shit,” I grumbled, pulling the covers closer to my face.

  “Hangover?” she asked.

  “No, I was sober sister. Remember?” I snapped. I watched her stiffen in shock. I looked away, embarrassed by my response. Punishing her for my actions was a shitty thing to do.

  “Okay, Jules. You rest,” she said softly. “I left a bag with stuff from the drug store. Orange juice, ginger ale, saltines, and ibuprofen. Call if you need me.”

  She waited for a response. When I wouldn’t look at her, she left the room without another word.

  Hot tears swam in my eyes, but I clamped them shut, trapping the moisture inside.

  Rolling over, I went back to sleep.

  ***

  Monday morning came. I skipped my classes.

  ***

  As evening fell, I heard a scuffle at my door. It banged open, hitting the wall, and I moaned.

  “Leave me alone.”

  “We have. You’ve hidden for long enough. Now it’s time to get up.” Lex marched in and ripped the covers off me. I tried to snatch the blankets back, but Taren grabbed one hand while Lex managed to snag the other. I didn’t put up much of a fight as they peeled me off the bed, forced me to stand, and led me out the door.

  “Stop. I don’t feel good. Let me be.” My protests were weak. Several days without a meal and excessive hibernation would do that to a gal. I lowered my head and squinted to ward off the bright lights.

  Taren and Lex kept an arm looped through each of mine as they dragged me down the stairs. I expected them to take me to the kitchen to force feed me, but instead, we entered the living room. What day was it? The place was empty, except for one visitor.

  Darren.

  “Good God Almighty. You look like something my mom’s cat ate and puked up. Do you have the bubonic plague?” he asked, grimacing at my appearance.

  “Fuck you.” It lacked harshness. I didn’t have the energy. I honestly didn’t care how bad I looked.

  “No thanks, sunshine. I’ve got enough going on without catching a deadly disease.” He chuckled.

  I sat on the couch next to his chair and curled my legs beneath me, debating going back to sleep in front of everyone. “How’d you get in here?” I asked, eyeing his wheelchair. I’d never invited him to the house before because I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to get him inside. “The stairs on the front porch are huge.”

  “Service entrance in the back has a ramp,” he responded with a smart-ass grin.

  Taren and Lex sat in chairs opposite us. They wore matching frowns on their faces as they stared at me. I was pretty sure all three of them were pulling some sort of intervention on me, and I had no energy to fight back. Just freaking fantastic.

  “What’s going on?” I croaked. “What’s so important you had to get me out of bed?”

  “You are,” Taren said. “You’re important, and there’s something wrong. You can’t make it better by not facing it.”

  I furrowed my eyebrows like I didn’t understand what she was referring to.

  “Rumors are flying, Jules. Even I heard them, and nobody ever tells me shit,” Lex announced.

  I clamped my mouth shut but narrowed my eyes at her.

  “Gossip? Fantastic. Fill me in. What’s the word on the street?” Darren asked, looking back and forth between us.

  “People are saying that Jules hooked up with Phil Friday night at the Pi Kappa house.” Lex spoke slowly. Deliberately.

  My lips pressed together into a hard line, but my heart roared inside my chest. I wanted to defend myself, but I found it impossible. I couldn’t. Or wouldn’t.

  “That so?” Darren asked, turning to face me. “Any response to that, Jules?”

  I glared at him but said nothing.

  “Julie and Phil?” Taren turned to Lex. “Why would anyone get that idea? She hates him.” Then she turned to me. “And she loves Ben.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to say I didn’t love him. That I didn’t even know what love was, but I couldn’t seem to speak the words.

  Lex took a deep breath. “Some of the sisters are saying that Jules went upstairs with Phil. When she came down later, her hair was mussed, and...” She cringed and looked at me apologetically. “And looking like she and Phil had...you know.” Lex wrung her hands together. “I’m freaking out, Julie. I know you would never have cheated on Ben. I don’t believe it for a second. But you’re scaring us. Why would people say that? Why are you hiding in your room like you’re guilty?”

  Taren stood from her chair and knelt in front of the couch. “We’re your best friends. We know you. We know this isn’t true. Not this rumor. Not now. But you have to talk to us. Let us help you.”

  “It’s not what you think,” I managed to say. “I did go upstairs, but not for the reason people think. And then Phil...” I couldn’t finish the thought.

  “Did he force himself on you?” Darren’s voice rose with each word. “Did he hurt you? Is that why you’re hiding from the world?”

  The air in the room seemed to zap with an electrical force. Lex and Taren froze, and I looked at them in turn, surprise etched on their faces.

  But it was Darren I spoke to.

  “He tried to.” My voice was flat with no emotion. “He tried to take from me what I’ve always given away for free, but this time I fought back. The only problem is, who’s going to believe me?” I stared at Darren, but no tears came. All that I felt was empty.

  “Me!” Darren shouted, hitting his chest with his good hand. “I’ve always believed in you.”

  “Me too,” Lex said, as her voice broke.

  Taren grabbed my hand in hers. “Every time. I’ll believe you every time.”

  And this time I wept with relief.

  Taren climbed onto the couch beside me and put her arm around me, pulling me close like a child that needed comfort. “Do you want to press charges?”

  Unable to look at her, I shook my head. “No. He didn’t...I want to forget it ever happened.”

  “Is this why you won’t answer Ben’s calls?” she asked.

  I reached up and wiped my eyes with the edge of my sleeve. “What?”

  “Caz got a call from Ben. I overheard him mentioning it to Alec.” She shrugged. “Ben’s been leaving you messages. He wanted Caz to talk to you about why you won’t call back, but Caz refused.�
�

  “Is he mad?” I pinched my eyebrows together and braved a look into her eyes.

  “Caz?”

  “No. Ben.”

  “Oh,” she said, blinking. “I don’t know. Why don’t you call him back and find out?” she asked softly.

  A sick feeling twisted in my stomach, wringing me out until my heart clenched painfully and stuttered in my chest. “I can’t. I broke up with Ben over voicemail. And I’ve blocked his number.” I couldn’t tell her it was because I’d promised Nate I would.

  “What?” Darren’s outburst made me flinch. “Why would you do that? Do you think he’s not good enough?”

  His question was harsh, a challenge. In the most tattered part of my heart, I had a feeling he thought I might have done it because Ben was blind, that I would use that as an excuse to break up. It hurt that Darren might believe that, but like everything else, I had no one to blame but myself for the reputation I’d earned. I was known for ditching guys because of the most minor imperfections.

  But Ben wasn’t imperfect.

  I was.

  “No,” I told him, shaking my head. “I’m the one who’s not good enough.”

  I was Nikki’s daughter after all.

  But that didn’t mean I couldn’t make myself into something better.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Julie

  “Thank you for your time, sir.” I shook hands with Eduardo, my new best pal in the admissions department at Maryland, and scooped up the folders he had gathered for me.

  I was a woman on a mission. With a personal life as fucked up as mine, I decided the only real recourse I had was to do what I did best—ignore my problems and plan a party.

  Okay. Not really a party. But I was good at getting shit done and bending people to my will. All of the Greek gatherings I’d put together over the years? Basic training for my real gig—planning a better future for the people I loved.

  Glancing at the time on my iPhone, I cursed under my breath and quickened my pace. The walk from the admissions building to Route 1 wasn’t a long one, but I was running late. At least it gave me enough time to gather my thoughts, to anticipate his questions and form answers that would sway him to my side. I didn’t know him well enough yet to try and predict his reactions, so I might have to resort to using my powers of persuasion.

  The force was strong with this one.

  If all else failed, I would cry. Observing Nikki over the years had taught me that men quiver when faced with tears. I’d hate to resort to that type of behavior, lowering myself to the likes of Nikki, but it was for a good cause. I’d do anything—shame myself in any way—to help out Darren, Stacey, and William.

  Opening the door to the diner, I was bombarded with the sounds of dishes clattering, forks scraping against plates, and the hum of dozens of conversations. I looked from side to side, searching for him in the crowded lunch spot.

  In the back corner, I spotted a figure dressed in black—with shades and a beanie—saluting me with his coffee.

  He was here. For reals. As in, he came when I called him. And not only that, he was here, in person to meet, when I’d only asked to talk on the phone. He said he’d rather see my face while he talked and so he flew here. On a whim.

  For me.

  The magnitude of the act felt like a punch to the heart. But in the best way possible.

  “Hi, Jed,” I said as I approached. Once I was standing in front of him, I panicked and froze, my uncertainty stunning me stupid. Like the first time I met him, I was unsure of how to greet him. Did I kiss his cheek? Give him a one-armed hug? A smack on the back?

  None of those seemed appropriate, so I forced myself to sit.

  Sliding into the booth across from him, I slipped a grin on my face as I laid my tote on the seat next to me. “Thanks for meeting me.”

  The corners of Jed’s lips lifted. “That’s what private planes are for. When the daughter I thought hated me asks for help, I meet her for lunch and still make my show the same night.” He snapped his fingers in the air. “Just like that.”

  “Wow,” I mouthed. Private planes were pretty fancy. If that was his mode of transportation, maybe this favor wouldn’t be too hard for him to grant.

  “Besides, I wanted to see you. I wasn’t sure when you’d give me the chance again.” His hands fidgeted on the table top and I was struck with the sudden realization that he was nervous. Uncertain. “I missed twenty-one years with you. I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity to see you. I hope you don’t mind.”

  The vulnerability in his expression made me feel guilty for not reaching out sooner. I hadn’t believed it before that he truly wanted to get to know me but seeing how much this meeting seemed to mean to him, how he’d flown out instead of just emailing me, my heart warmed with gratefulness. I was used to Nikki wanting things from me, but it seemed like Jed only wanted to be with me. To know me.

  My throat was tight with emotion. “I don’t mind. Not at all,” I managed to say. My smile quivered against the overwhelming happiness I felt.

  Jed answered my smile with one of his own. “So, how are things?” He leaned back in the booth, arms crossed over his chest. “Classes going well?” His confidence waned on the second half of that question, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to ask.

  Not that I could blame him. I hadn’t been trying too hard to connect with him. He’d left the door open between us after the last time we met, and I’d been too scared to even bother peeking inside to get to know him better.

  My hands were in my lap, twisting together almost to the point of pain. Nikki had never asked about my classes. I was pretty sure she didn’t even know what my major was. Maybe that’s why studying had never been my priority. Deep down I knew that no matter what I did, or what kind of grades I got, I’d never manage to impress her. She was disappointed with me from the start.

  I cleared my throat. “They’re going well. Great in fact.”

  Jed nodded his head and leaned forward, clasping his hands on the tabletop like he was interested in what I had to say. “Good, good. What are you studying? Did you...declare a major?” His question was hesitant like he was speaking a foreign language and wasn’t sure he’d used the right words. As a famous musician who never went to college, and an absentee dad who never knew even the littlest things about his daughter, the conversation was awkward.

  But at least he was trying.

  I released the death grip I had on my fingers and relaxed back into the seat. My heart was doing flips at the idea that he wanted to get to know me.

  “I’m a Communications major,” I told him.

  He nodded again, trying to show he was impressed, but the blank look in his gaze betrayed the truth—he had no idea what a Communications major was.

  I smiled. “Once I get my degree, I’ll look for a job in public relations.”

  His eyes lit up with understanding and he lifted his hand to point at me. “Ah, yes. I hired someone to do that sort of thing for me.”

  I laughed. “You probably have a whole team of people who do that for you. How else do you keep a rock star out of trouble and in the spotlight for so long?”

  It was his turn to laugh and he leaned away again, slinging his arm over the back of the booth. “Fair enough. Maybe you’ll come work for me some day.” He raised his eyebrows expectantly. “You can keep me in line.”

  I huffed in disbelief. “I’m the last person that should be keeping others out of trouble. Besides, I’m more into event planning.” I paused. “Which is kind of why I’m here. I need your help.”

  “Yes. Whatever it is, my answer is yes.” He was still smiling, but he exuded an air of seriousness.

  I furrowed my eyebrows. “You haven’t even heard what I want yet.”

  “If it’s within my power it’s yours.” He motioned with his hand like he was beckoning me forward. “But so I know what I’m agreeing to, fill me in.”

  “Okay,” I cleared my throat and pulled out a folder from my
leather tote. “I’m trying to help a few friends. See, my sorority sisters and I are part of a group on campus called Best Buddies where college students are matched with adults who have special needs. We hang out, do stuff together, and try to support them any way we can.”

  “I’m impressed,” Jed said, his eyebrows arching, looking surprised and pleased at the same time. “That’s a selfless and generous thing to do.”

  “Trust me, oh dear parental unit, our buddies do more for us than we do for them. Take Darren, for example.” My fingers entered the passcode for my phone and I pulled up a photo of the two of us. I slid my phone across the table to Jed.

  “Darren was born with cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. He has one hand that is turned inward in a fist.” I pointed to Darren’s bad arm. “He can’t use his legs at all. But he’s so freaking smart. Like computer genius smart. And he’s funny. Holy hell, he makes me laugh so hard. We tease each other mercilessly. He’s my friend. And not like, aww, I’m friends with the guy in the wheelchair. No, like honest to God friends. He’s way cooler than I am and is always there for me.” I took a deep breath to keep the emotion of my feelings for Darren from overwhelming me. “I want to do something for him, to show him what he means to me and how much I believe in him.”

  Jed looked up from the photo and tilted his head in acknowledgment. “Go on.”

  “Okay, so when Darren was in high school, they assumed he was dumb because his body was broken, and his speech wasn’t clear. He was always in special education classes and was never given the chance to attend college. That’s what I want to help him do. Go to college.”

  Leaning forward, Jed’s forearms rested on the edge of the table, his hands folded together. “How can I help?”

  My heart raced in my chest. This was how I dreamed he would respond to me. “I’ve already spoken to an admissions counselor here. I’ll get Darren to take the SATs and gather his transcripts. I’ll help him apply for financial aid, too. I was hoping that maybe you could call the university and put in a good word for him? Grease the wheel? Hurry things along? I think a big-time celebrity can make things happen for Darren.”