The Man Cave Collection: Manservant, Man Flu, Man Handler, and Man Buns
Page 91
Wow. You’d think I was diving off the deep-end by the tone of her voice as she’s telling me to calm down. “You’re telling me to relax? You’re the one who looks miserable sitting there in front of a beautiful pool under the big open sky.”
“It’s my job. Who smiles while working?” she asks while flipping her long, dark braid over her shoulder.
“Um, I think in the hospitality industry, it’s part of your job.” Why am I arguing with a hot chick I don’t even know? I obviously need to get laid. Plus, I’m apparently uptight.
“Actually,” she replies, without hiding the hostility she’s obviously feeling, “I’m supposed to be serious since I need to keep an eye on everyone in the pool to make sure no one drowns.”
“Well, there aren’t any kids in the pool yet, so you can loosen up a little, I’m sure.”
“Dad?” Aya calls me from the steps of the pool. “I’m going in.”
“Believe it or not, it’s not the kids I have to worry about,” the lifeguard says. “It’s the arrogant visitors I have to keep an eye on.” With her last word, she pushes her aviator sunglasses back up her freckled nose and straightens her posture.
“What’s your name?” I ask even though I’m sure the conversation ended when she recovered her eyes. Still, can’t hurt to try.
She turns her head and glances over at me, adding in a snide chuckle for good measure. “No.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, ‘No.’”
“I’m Denver,” I say, reaching my hand out to her.
“No,” she says again, but this time with a tease of a smirk.
“Well, No, I’m sorry for the confusion. I am Denver. You are ‘No.’ I got it.” I point at her, and wink, leaving her with my smartass response. I needed that. It’s been a while since I’ve had any game.
“Dad!” Aya yells again. She’s neck deep in the water, treading through the four feet like a champ. I had one summer at home when she was two, and I spent every single minute I wasn’t working teaching her to swim. Two is young to understand the logistics of floating, but by the end of the summer, I didn’t have to worry about her drowning. In Hawaii, being born with the instinct to swim should tie right in with real-life experience. I want to believe that my kid is destined to be a surfer or an Olympic swimmer.
I find the towel bin and grab a couple of freshly folded white towels, dropping them down onto the empty lounge chairs near the lifeguard's stand. I can’t give up that easily.
The lifeguard straightens her neck and with what I assume to be irritation, tilts her head to each side probably needing a good crack in her tense neck. In my defense, I haven’t said anything else. I mean, the chairs are empty, and they’re in the direct sun, which is right where I want to be. “I’m coming for you, baby-girl!” I shout over to Aya.
I cross my arms over my torso and peel my shirt up over my head. I guess if this chick is going to see any part of me, it can be my best asset. I’ve been a human machine for the last eight years, and I’m proud to showcase the hard work I endured in the Marines. I unhook my worn, brown leather belt that I’ve probably had since my Abercrombie days, and drop my shorts to the pool deck. After a quick shuffle around the side of my chair, I lean over slowly and proudly to retrieve my shorts so I can place them down on the lounge chair. I can’t look over to see if I’ve caught her attention yet, but I’ll just boost my self-confidence and pretend she did.
“Well, aren’t you so sweet. Cleaning up after yourself and all,” she mutters. Ha. She saw me. She was probably staring at every move I made, and now, she’s cleaning up her drool. I bet she wishes she gave me her name now.
Right. Ah well. I can keep my confidence in check even though I’m broken baggage to the rest of the world. No chick in their prime wants a single dad with all the responsibilities in the world, but I wouldn’t give up Aya for all the hottest women in the world. She’s the only girl I need in my life.
With my show over, I catapult myself off the side of the pool and into the water, splashing Aya as hard as I can.
“Dad, no!” Aya gasps as she rubs the water from her eyes. “You’re in trouble now.” Aya pulls herself out of the water, dripping wet and shaking as she wraps her arms around her body, staring at me with the devil’s glare in her eye. “You better watch out, Dad.”
I back up a few feet, knowing what’s coming at me. She jumps into the water, pulling her knees up into her chest at the same time, and the splash is epic for my little peanut. It was so epic, it soaked the lifeguard. Ha.
I grab Aya and swing her around over my head, watching the lifeguard remain still like a statue. She’s dripping wet but doesn’t care. Or she does, and she doesn’t want me to know. I guess this is what life is like when I don’t have somewhere to be every second of the day. I have to find ways to entertain myself and clearly that means torturing this woman. Pool rules. Pool rules. Think, think, think. Surely children wouldn’t be allowed on anyone’s shoulders. That could be dangerous if I weren’t a responsible adult holding on tightly. I toss Aya up on my shoulders, holding her steady as I pace around the pool. Come on. You know you want to yell at me. What do I have to do, run around the pool?
A whistle blows because she must assume I wouldn’t be able to hear her voice from less than ten feet away. Attention is needed. “Sir, no horse playing in the pool,” she says, monotone as if she must recite the same line four hundred times a day.
“I’m not horse playing, Miss No. I’m just holding my daughter up on my shoulders. Dads do that sort of thing.”
“Not in the pool,” she replies.
“Okay, No.” She is not bending or breaking. Maybe she’s married or something. Oh well. I lift Aya off my shoulders and bring her over to the shallow end, so she doesn’t have to tread next to me.
As usual, Aya finds a little girl around her age and asks her to be her friend, then initiates a spontaneous playdate. I don’t think she will ever have trouble making friends, which is a good thing until she’s old enough to date. I have years. I can’t think about that now.
“Dude!” I hear from the distance. I cup my hand over my eyes, looking around because he sounded like Noa, but the sun is blinding, and I can’t see far.
“What are you doing here?” I hear from the lifeguard. She’s not talking to me, so it must be the guy, but why would he be calling her dude? When he steps into the shade of the guard stand, I see it is Noa, but he’s not facing me. He’s facing the guard. Oh shit. He knows her.
“I’m meeting my good man, Denver. This guy right over here,” he says, pointing at me.
I’m silently waiting for the … “Oh, you know him” line, but she just nods her head, disappointed it seems.
“Hey, man!” Noa waves. I check over my shoulder to make sure Aya is still all set in the shallow end, and she’s diving for neon rings with her newfound friend, so I climb out onto the pool deck and grab Noa’s hand, shaking it, and then pulling him in for a hug.
“It’s so good to see you, bro. God, it’s been a while, huh?” I walk the few feet over to the lounge chair that I dropped our towels on and wrap one around my waist.
“Look at you, beefcake!” He laughs and checks me out like a fucking weirdo.
“What, are you sizing me up now?”
“No, no, I’m impressed.”
“All right, well ah ... how’s this fiancée of yours? Does she know your checking dudes out on the side?” I punch him in the shoulder.
“She knows,” the beautiful lifeguard pipes up, and a hint of a smile touches her lips.
“So, yeah, this lovely sweetheart is going to be my sister-in-law soon. How lucky am I?”
The lifeguard throws her head back, and her mouth falls open with disdain. “Noa, I think I’m the lucky one,” she groans. “Blah, blah, blah.”
“She hates me,” Noa says. It’s obviously not a secret.
“I don’t hate you,” she corrects him. “I just—you’re—”
“What, Kai, what am I?”
“A manwhore,” she spits out.
“What makes me a manwhore?” Noa fights back.
“Please. We both know the answer to that. Don’t embarrass yourself.”
Noa shoos Kai off with a laugh and crosses his arms over his white polo. “Want to go over the job deets?”
“Definitely,” I tell him, checking for Aya. She’s still busy dolphin diving.
“Let’s head over to the bar, and I’ll introduce you to my girl—this lovely woman’s sister.” He nods his head toward Kai with an eye roll. “She works over there.”
“Dude, I’m so happy for you that you met someone. You deserve all the happiness. You gotta give me the deets … how did you do it? Were you all traditional and shit?” I ask him.
“Oh you two must not be friends on Instagram,” Kai interrupts. “It’s the classy way to announce your engagement. You wouldn’t feel the need to ask any questions if you saw their ‘story.’”
Noa and I are both silent for a moment. I take it Kai does not approve of this engagement, so that’s not sounding so great. Maybe she’s jealous. Chicks are like that. They’re either jealous or—yeah I have nothing else.
“Well, let’s go. I want to meet her. I just got to get my daughter out of the pool before we head over there. Give me a minute.” I’ve been trying to digest Noa’s engagement news since he called me last week. The fact that Noa, of all guys, is getting hitched makes me scratch my head. He’s been a lady’s man for as long as I’ve known him and I never imagined him settling down. He likes to fly by the seat of his pants and move at a hundred miles per hour. In the few times we talked over the last month, he didn’t mention her at all. I wonder how quickly this all came together. In any case, she must be something else.
“Right! I was wondering where the baby was,” Noa says.
Baby. I snicker. Time flies, and since Noa’s not a parent, I can understand how might not register how much time has passed since he’s seen Aya until he sees how big she is now.
“Aya,” I shout as I move toward the end of the pool. “You gotta get out for a few, baby. I have to talk to someone.”
“Dad! I can stay here. I’m fine.”
“No, Aya. You know the rules. Come on out. You can go back in when I’m done talking to Mr. Noa.”
She huffs and dramatically trudges up the pool steps where I meet her with a towel. “I’ll get you a smoothie, okay?”
“Fine,” she says with a little smile. “Thank you.”
“Holy shitballs,” Noa barks. “That’s Aya?”
Aya grabs the towel I’m holding around her and storms over to Noa, jetting her hand out to him. “Hi, I’m Aya. I don’t think we’ve met, but you shouldn’t swear in front of kids. It’s rude.”
“Aya,” I snap. “Don’t you be rude. You understand me? Apologize to Mr. Noa.”
“No, it’s okay. She’s right,” Noa says. He kneels in front of Aya and shakes her hand. “I apologize for swearing. I won’t do it again. I just can’t believe how big you’ve gotten since I’ve seen you last.”
“We know each other?” Aya continues.
“Well, I haven’t seen you since you were about this big,” Noa says, holding his hand just a couple feet off the ground.
Aya takes his hand and lifts it up to her current height. “And now I’m this big, so don’t forget that for the next time I see you.”
Noa laughs. “Holy—I mean, geez, man, she’s all you,” he says to me.
“Yup, that she is.”
We walk over to the bar area where an almost mirroring look-alike to Kai awaits, waving her heart out toward us. I’ll assume that’s Noa’s fiancée.
“Babe!” he shouts out. “This is Denver.” He points to me with both hands as if he were a neon blinking light. I think she gets it. The pool isn’t too packed at the moment. “He’s the one I’m filling the last position with at the restaurant.”
“Ohh!” the girl shouts. “Good pickin’s.”
Good pickin’s? What the hell is going on?
4
Kai
Today carried on like a snail’s race. I’m completely exhausted from the troop of tourists reliving precious moments of spring break from two months ago. I realize I live in a vacation spot, but if I were to go away somewhere, I’d want to relax, do nothing, and listen to no one. I wouldn’t want to wake up with a hangover every afternoon, but to each their own, I suppose. The drunkos have finally simmered down for their late afternoon naps now, and my shift is over.
“Ready ready ready?” Lea hollers across the pool.
I slip my guard hoodie over my head and grab my bag. “Yeah, let’s head out.”
“We have an hour before we have to be down in Lahaina, so we gotta be quick,” she says.
“Uh, what?” I question as we head down the botanical path that’s lined with hibiscus, plumeria, and bird of paradise flowers, where the hummingbirds hang out all day. This might be my favorite part of my day—the peace and serenity that seals out the chaos. Plus, it’s a quick escape route to the parking lot.
“We’re going out tonight. You were already notified this morning, missy.”
“No, I’m not going out. I’m tired. It was a long day.”
“But, I promise you we’ll have fun,” she continues badgering. I’m not sure why she cares if I go out or not. Normally, she has no problem going out on her own. “Plus, you promised Talon.”
“No, I didn’t. He put words in my mouth.”
She huffs loudly, and like a rag doll, throws her body into the car. “I didn’t want to have to do this,” she warns.
“I don’t care what you say. I’m not going out drinking tonight so I can feel like ass all day tomorrow.”
“We’re celebrating our engagement tonight, Kai.”
“No, you’re not,” I argue. “You would have started your argument with that.”
“No, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to bribe you with a ‘cause’ to go out. If you had just agreed, you would have been pleasantly surprised to hear why we’re going out. Now I just know you don’t want to, and you’re only doing it because I made you feel guilty.”
She juts out her bottom lip and throws her head back against the chair. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Come on, Kai. What else are you going to do tonight besides rot in front of the TV?”
“Rot in front of the TV, which I plan to enjoy,” I reply. “Where are you all going?” I don’t want to go, but if she is, in fact, celebrating her engagement, I will be there. I just have a feeling it’s a scam to get me to go out. Lea plans parties and events as if they’re a royal occurrence, so spontaneously mentioning an engagement party like she is, doesn’t scream truth to me.
“To a restaurant,” she says.
“What kind of place is it?” I ask.
“It’s a restaurant,” she says as if my question is absurd. “They have burgers, wings, and salads for those who need to be healthy at all times, so don’t worry. There’s something for everyone. Even you.” I can see her arrogant little smile from the corner of my eye.
“I really want you to come, Kai,” she says, sounding more pleading than she has in the past half hour.
I sigh and nod my head, knowing I have no choice but to give in. She’s my sister, and I can’t say no to her when she asks me anything like that. She uses her pleas as a weapon, knowing it’s my weakness. I’ve tried to help her have a normal life despite our parents being gone. I felt it was my obligation to stand in and do what I can to make sure she’s happy. I know I’ve done a good job with that. She’s happy. Happier than I am. Sometimes, I selfishly wonder who was left to make sure I would be happy after Mom and Dad were taken from us, but I keep those thoughts to myself. It’s not a burden she should have to deal with.
“Okay, okay. I’ll come, but I’m not staying out until two. I don’t like walking into work looking like I’ve been run over by a tra
in.”
“Deal,” she says. “We all have to work in the morning, so I doubt anyone will want to stay out that late anyway.”
“Is this restaurant upscale or casual?” I ask.
“Super casual. You can wear whatever, as long as it’s cute and not motherly,” she says.
I glance over at her for a quick second with a look that is part anger and partially confusion. “Motherly?” I return my gaze to the road, wondering what the hell she means by that. I don’t dress motherly. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Um hi, you wear cardigans. Have you ever seen another local wearing a cardigan?” I’ve never been one for fashion or caring about how I look. What’s the point? I want to be comfortable.
“Who cares? I get cold easily. Should I just be cold, so I look the part of being your sister?”
Lea groans. “Kai, come on. Just be normal tonight, please.”
“Normal? Please grace me with your definition of ‘normal.’”
“Look like you’re twenty-eight instead of fifty-eight, maybe?”
“Thanks,” I hiss.
“I have something for you to wear. Don’t worry.”
“I wasn’t worried,” I reply as we pull into our driveway.
“We don’t have long to get ready, so just don’t fight with me, okay?” She continues.
I won’t fight. I’m just about done talking about this. I’m going to grin and bear it for her tonight, and then she won’t have another excuse to drag me out against my free will until it’s closer to the wedding.
“Why is it that your idea of going out and having fun is making me look like a sleazy twit?”
Lea cocks her head to the side, looking at me like I have two heads, which I’m starting to wonder if I do, considering how many times a day she gives me this look. “You do not look sleazy or like a twit. It’s called makeup and a casual dress.”
“This dress is anything but casual,” I say, turning to check out what the back of me looks like in the mirror. “You can almost see my butt cheeks.”