More Than This

by Alexa Land

  He climbed onto my lap and said, “Don’t feel bad for me. I love it here. Admittedly, I didn’t at first. I was so lost when I arrived on earth. I’d never been cold or hungry or in pain, and it was all so overwhelming. On top of that, people made no sense to me. I didn’t understand cruelty or hatred. Actually, I still don’t.”

  “It must have been horrible.”

  “Let’s just say there was definitely an adjustment period,” he said. “But once I learned to adapt, I began to see beyond the negatives. There’s so much that’s wonderful here on earth, if you just take the time to look around you. Right now for example, I love the cool breeze on my skin and the way it’s carrying the sweet smell of that flowering vine across the courtyard. And I love the way the puppy’s little feet are twitching in his sleep, like he’s dreaming about running wild. I also love the fact that I can feel the warmth of your body through our clothes. Most of all, I love the way your arms around me make me feel safe and secure, and I love the fact that I have free will, which allows me to do this.”

  He kissed me tenderly, and then I whispered, “It’s amazing to see the world through your eyes.”

  “Now let me see it through yours. What do you love right now?”

  “You.”

  He smiled at me. “Besides that.”

  I spent a few moments taking in my surroundings, and then I said, “I love the smell of my shampoo in your hair, because it’s a reminder that we woke up together. I also love the little splash of sunlight that’s filtering through the pergola, and the way it’s falling across your beautiful face and turning your eyelashes golden. I love the fact that the puppy fell asleep with his head on my foot, which makes me think he’s already bonding with me. Best of all, I love that you’re sitting on my lap, because getting to hold you makes me unreasonably happy.”

  “Those are some wonderful observations.”

  I kissed him again before asking, “How long have you been on earth?”

  “Nearly a hundred and fifty years.”

  I murmured, “The things you must have seen.”

  “Yeah. Both good and bad.”

  After a moment, I said, “This is a nosy question, but since I was your first, how did you go that long without having sex?”

  “Well, again, remember that I have a very different concept of time than most. Also, there was the aforementioned adjustment period at first, when I was just miserable and totally avoiding humans. Even after I settled in, love and sex were foreign concepts to me. So were marriage and family, for that matter. I found myself living among a different species, and for a very long time, I kept people at a distance, because I barely knew what to make of them.

  “After several decades, I finally made a friend, but she died just a year later. That was when I learned what loss and grief felt like. Years passed before I let myself befriend another person. I discovered I was attracted to him, but he was in love with someone else. That was my first taste of jealousy, and eventually we grew apart.

  “During that same time, I was slowly becoming acclimated to life on earth. I learned how to not only survive but thrive here, and I developed a real fondness for the human race.

  “Later on, your mom became my friend. I only knew her for a few months, but she meant a lot to me, and I was devastated when she was killed. That was my first experience with guilt, because I couldn’t save Lourdes and her husband from that fire.”

  “After all of that, I’m surprised you moved so quickly with me,” I said. “Not just when it came to sex, but with love and intimacy, too.”

  “By the time I met you, I knew who I was and what I wanted. When I realized what I felt for you went way beyond friendship and that you felt the same way, there was no reason to hold back.”

  Something occurred to me, and I said softly, “You’re going to lose me too, because you’ll outlive me by centuries.”

  “No, I won’t. My immortality was stripped from me when I chose to fall, so now I’ll age just like most other supernatural beings. It’ll happen very slowly, over hundreds of years, the same as you.”

  “Wait. Really? I’m going to live for centuries?” He nodded, and I asked, “Even though I don’t have any magic left?”

  “You’re still a warlock and always will be, regardless of how much magic you have.”

  “That’s quite the bombshell.” He grinned at me, and I rested my head against his shoulder. After a while, I said, “I don’t know how I can miss my powers this much, since I had them for such a short time.”

  “They were a part of you, even when you couldn’t tap into them. I can see why you’d feel like something is missing now.” I nodded, and he asked, “Did you already check to see if you have any magic left?”

  “Yeah. It’s totally gone. I’m trying to be okay with that, but it’s not easy. I spent most of my life feeling like I was waiting for something, and when it finally happened, it almost killed me. Then, after all of that, it didn’t even last forty-eight hours.”

  “But look at what you did with it. For those two days, you were a superhero, and Tinder and I will never forget the way you saved us. I know Mateo’s grateful to be back to his old self, too. I was hoping you’d have a little magic left at the end of it, though.”

  “It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.” After a pause, I said, “I’m curious, why didn’t Mateo ask you to change him back sooner? Once his mate lost track of him, I don’t get why he chose to stay like that for another twenty-plus years.”

  “It was a combination of factors. In part, there was always the worry about his mate turning up again. But mostly, he stayed like that for you, so he could be right by your side while you were growing up. Warlocks and witches aren’t considered adults until they turn twenty-five, so that’s how long he kept an eye on you.”

  “I can’t believe he did that for me.”

  “He and your mom were best friends. In fact, they were more like family, so he took looking after you seriously.” Ari thought about it for a few moments before adding, “Maybe there was a little more to it, too. Mateo always seemed pretty lost to me. He never knew what he wanted to do with his life, and as long as he was Fig, he didn’t need any answers. That’s actually the reason I didn’t just leave you with him after your parents died. He needed time to figure out his own life before he could be responsible for yours.”

  “I guess he and I are both in transition right now.”

  “All three of us are, now that my magic is just about gone and I’m free of the angel hierarchy for the first time.”

  “Are you going to miss your magic?”

  He shrugged and said, “I liked knowing it was there. It was my safety net, something I could rely on if I ever got into trouble. But I won’t necessarily miss it. Since I came here with a finite amount, I used it very sparingly over the decades to make it last, so it wasn’t exactly a big part of my life. What I’m definitely not going to miss, though, is that feeling of being constantly monitored by my celestial overlords. I’m so glad you severed that connection.”

  I thought about that for a while, and then I murmured, “It’s funny. I wasn’t even sure I believed in heaven and hell before this, and now I’m in love with a fallen angel.” He smiled at me, and I said, “If all of that’s real, then God must be too, right?”

  “I like to think so.”

  “But you don’t know for sure?”

  “Like I said, all I remember is the light.”

  “It seems cruel to take away your memories, especially of something that important.”

  “That was the price for leaving. Now I just have to take it on faith, like everyone else.”

  I brushed his hair back from his eyes before asking, “Will you please show me your wings?”

  “Are you sure you want that?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I guess because they’re a huge, glaring reminder of the fact that I’m not like you, and maybe that’s kind of unsettling.”

  “They’re a part of you,
Ari. That automatically makes me love them.”

  He got up and took my hand, and then he led me into the warehouse. As we stood facing each other in the pool of sunshine that spilled in through the skylight, he asked, “Are you sure this won’t seem weird?”

  “Positive, and just so you don’t feel awkward, I’ll go first.”

  Ari smiled at me. “You’re going to show me your wings? Now, that would be a surprise.”

  I grinned as I took off my T-shirt and tossed it aside. “Sadly, no. I meant I’d take off my shirt first. Although you know what? I can do better than that.” I stripped off the rest of my clothes, and then I stood before him and said, “I know it’s not the same thing, but this is all of me. It didn’t seem fair to ask you to make yourself vulnerable if I wasn’t willing to do the same thing.”

  He smiled at me, and then he got undressed, too. When he met my gaze, there was a hint of worry in his eyes. A moment later, his wings unfurled. They were maybe ten feet across from tip to tip, and lined in pristine, white feathers. Somehow, they seemed both powerful and delicate at the same time, just like the rest of him.

  I whispered, “You’re so beautiful, Ari. You just take my breath away.”

  “You really think so?”

  “Absolutely.” I slid my hands around his waist and kissed his shoulder, and as he leaned against me, I said, “I understand the insecurity. I was terrified of letting you find out I was different. That’s why I snuck out of bed and went off by myself when my powers started to come in. I’m sorry I did that. I should have believed in us enough to know we could face it together.”

  “You were taught to hide what you were,” he said. “I don’t blame you for trying to keep it from me.”

  I nuzzled his hair and murmured, “Never again, though. From now on, let’s agree that there won’t be any more secrets between us.”

  “Absolutely.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I tilted his chin up and kissed him. When we both started to get hard, Ari looked up at me with a playful grin and asked, “Do you trust me?”

  “With my life.”

  “Okay good, because I’m feeling creative.”

  I grinned too and said, “I can’t wait to see what that means.”

  My hair blew back as he flew to his bed. He returned a moment later and pressed something into my hand before grabbing me in an embrace and lifting me off my feet. Delighted laughter burst from me as he flew us around the warehouse.

  Pretty soon, I found myself twenty feet off the floor, with my back against the ceiling. He held me in place by pressing his body against mine and planting his feet on either side of me. His wings kept up a slow, languid motion, exerting enough force to hold me tight. When I glanced at what was in my hand and discovered a bottle of lube, I laughed again and said, “This is creative, alright.”

  “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

  “Nope. I know you’ll never let me fall.”

  His kiss was confident and a bit rough, which made my cock throb. Ari usually preferred to let me take the lead during sex, but today he was totally in control, and it was glorious. He squirted lube onto my fingers, and then he rubbed some onto my hard-on before tossing the bottle away. As he jerked me off, I spread his ass with one hand and worked him open, and when he was ready, he slid onto my cock.

  As he began to ride me, I wrapped my arms and legs around him and rested my head on his shoulder. It seemed familiar and brand new at the same time. Gravity pulled on me, and Ari pushed back. I marveled at his strength as he held me effortlessly.

  All I could do in that position was surrender, just put myself totally in his care and enjoy it. And of course, that had been Ari’s plan all along. I let pleasure and sensation wash over me as he took his time, bringing me right to the brink of orgasm and easing me down again. Finally, he took me over the top, and I arched off the ceiling as I came in him.

  Afterwards, he held me securely as we glided back down to the floor. As I took his hand and led him to the bed, his wings curled in on themselves and disappeared. He hadn’t finished yet, so once we’d climbed onto the mattress, I massaged his cock and whispered in his ear, “Fuck me, Ari.” He met my gaze, and then he grinned and found another bottle of lube.

  He took his time working me open, and once I was ready, he eased into me. I exhaled slowly as I got used to it, and once he felt me relax and open up a little, he began to slide in and out of me with long, slow strokes.

  Discomfort gave way to pleasure as his cock grazed my prostate, and I began to move beneath him, rocking my hips in time to his thrusts. Ari started taking me harder and faster, bracing himself with his hands on my shoulders as he knelt between my legs. I was enthralled by how beautiful and wild he looked. Then I noticed he was watching me in just the same way.

  A few minutes later, he pushed in deep and threw his head back, moaning as his orgasm sent a tremor through his body. I grasped his waist and moved in unison with him as he came in me. When he dropped onto my chest and kissed me, it was tender and loving.

  Afterwards, I cleaned us up a bit, gathered him in my arms, and pulled a blanket over us. A minute later, Newton scrambled up onto the pallets that made up the bedframe, then tried and failed to climb onto the mattress. I scooped him up and put him on my belly as Ari rested his head on my shoulder and murmured, “That was amazing.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” His smile was sweet and groggy, and I held him close as he let his eyes slide shut.

  I felt so protective of him, and I found myself asking, “Do you think they’ll leave you alone now? Whoever sent the wraiths after you, I mean.”

  He opened his eyes and considered the question before saying, “I guess time will tell, but you probably made your point by destroying my pursuers. They have no idea your powers are gone now, and I doubt they’d want to risk losing more of their enforcers, which have to be far more important to them than I ever was. Plus, since our connection was severed, hopefully I’m out of sight, out of mind as far as they’re concerned.”

  “But if they did come after you again, what would we do?”

  “We’d handle it, you and me and this vicious attack floof.” Ari rubbed the puppy’s ears, and Newton caught his hand and started chewing on one of his fingers.

  “Even without magic?”

  “Yup. Even without that.”

  I told him, “You seem pretty confident.”

  “I am. With a love like this, nothing in heaven or earth can tear us apart.”

  He said that with so much conviction that I absolutely believed it to be true.

  Epilogue

  Three Months Later

  Five days before Christmas, I set aside a cardboard box and looked around my room. Ari and I had made an offer on the house we’d rented in the desert, and we’d been ecstatic when the owners accepted. Now we were getting ready to move in on New Year’s Day. We were keeping the Purple Palace, but I was still feeling sentimental about this chapter of my life coming to a close.

  I left the library and went down the hall to my childhood bedroom. It was right next to Aunt Roz’s room. She’d wanted to keep me close, so she always knew I was safe.

  The room was like a time capsule, from the Star Wars bedspread to the toys and stuffed animals that lined every shelf. I ran my hand down the neck of a six-foot-tall stuffed giraffe and remembered finding it beside the Christmas tree when I was five. It had towered over me back then. My childhood might not have been typical, but as I looked around, I saw nothing but love and good memories.

  I left the room and went to the one next door. It had been quite a while since anyone had gone into the master bedroom. The door stuck a bit, and once I got it open, I stepped into a pretty, purple oasis. The majority of Aunt Roz’s clothes still hung in the closet, and her decorative crystal perfume bottles were clustered on an ornate dressing table. When her arthritis made the stairs impossible, she’d moved into the guest room downstairs. Since it was much smaller than this room, most of her things had st
ayed behind, aside from just the basics which she needed day-to-day.

  After I sat down at the dressing table, I dusted off one of the bottles and sprayed the perfume onto my wrist. The scent had broken down a bit over time, but it was still familiar, and it carried wonderful memories of the woman who’d always done everything in her power to protect me.

  I wiped a tear from my cheek and whispered, “I miss you, Mom. I know you never wanted to take that title from Lourdes, but you were still my mom, no matter what I called you. It’s almost Christmas, and I want you to know I’m keeping our favorite traditions alive. I made that coconut eggnog you like so much, and the purple velvet cake, and I’ve been singing Christmas carols at the piano every night this week.

  “I’m making some new traditions too, with Ari. I’m so glad you got to meet him, even if it was just for a few minutes when he brought me to you. And I want to tell you a secret: I’m going to ask him to marry me tonight. I brought home the ring from the jeweler’s this morning, and I was going to give it to him on Christmas, but I just can’t wait five more days. You’re the first person I’ve told.” I got up from the dressing table and whispered, “I love you,” before heading downstairs.

  My boyfriend was putting the finishing touches on some decorations on the mantel, and Newton was trying to wrestle one of Ari’s feet. Our Christmas tree sparkled in the living room’s bay window, a fire was burning in the fireplace, and the whole room smelled like pine and cinnamon.

  Ari smiled at me over his shoulder and asked, “How’s the packing going?”

  “It’s been slow. I managed to go through my clothes, and I made a big pile of stuff to donate, but that’s about it. I tried going through the books so I could decide which ones to take with us, but somehow they all just belong here, in that library.”