Heller's Regret

by JD Nixon

  “Miss, sometimes I think you must like me visiting you all the time.”

  Chapter 18

  “You must do everything I tell you, no excuses. If you don’t show any improvement in a fortnight, you’re going straight to hospital, whether you want to or not.”

  “No. I’m not going back to hospital. I want to stay home. Please let me stay home. I’ll do everything you say.”

  “Okay. I’m not a monster. I can see the benefits of you being in your home environment with people to care for you.” He cleaned and bandaged my arm. “I think you should have a personal nursing service visit you several times a day to make sure your dressings are changed properly, your temperature is kept under control, and you’re eating nutritiously.”

  “I don’t think Heller would allow that.”

  He sighed impatiently. “Look, if Heller can’t get over his ridiculous paranoia to allow a nurse in to assist you, then I’m strongly inclined to connect my shoe with his nether regions frequently and violently.”

  The thought of him kicking Heller’s butt made me giggle. “You’re a pretty tough guy.”

  “You better believe it, Miss. Something which you’ll find out for yourself if you don’t do what I tell you to religiously.” He sighed again. “I suppose if Mr Stupid isn’t going let you have a private nurse, you’ll be counting on Daniel again?”

  “Yes, his nursing skills are becoming very good.”

  “Thank God there’s one sensible person working in this business. I’ll be back in a moment.” He left, and I heard him stomping bad-temperedly down the stairs. I had a sip of water. A minute later he returned with Daniel, whose face fell when he saw me in bed.

  He sat on the other side of my bed, considerately leaving the side closest to me for the doctor. But that was the kind of person he was – thoughtful, never needing to be prodded about how to behave. “Tilly darling, what’s happened?”

  His nice words were poisonous to me and my eyes welled up.

  “Oh, God,” said the doctor. “Don’t make her cry. I can’t stand it.”

  I shot him a dirty look. “You’re in such an unpleasant mood today.”

  “What do you expect?” he retorted. “I finally organised a rare day off to spend some long-overdue time with someone I care about, and now I’ve annoyed them and my evening’s ruined.”

  “I thought this was your job?”

  “It’s my other job, Miss. I’m retired, so I don’t need to work, but Heller pays me extremely well to be his house doctor. Otherwise, I volunteer my time at a clinic sponsored by a major charity. It offers free health care for people who can’t afford to go to a GP – refugee families, single parents, families fallen on hard times because one or both parents have lost their job, homeless people, runaway kids, illegal sex workers. We don’t judge them, we just treat them. A number of health professionals volunteer there each week – doctors, nurses, optometrists, dentists, podiatrists, physiotherapists, pathologists and nutritionists. Some are retired like me, but many others do it because they’re good, caring people, even though they maintain busy practices.”

  “What kinds of things do you do there?” asked Daniel.

  “Basic consultations and checkups, vaccinations, pre- and ante-natal care, eye tests, blood tests. You get the idea.”

  “That’s very decent of you, Dr Kincaid,” I said, feeling awful about being the one responsible for ruining his day off. “I’m sorry, and please apologise to your partner for me.”

  He sighed so heavily, I felt his minty breath waft over me. “No point in being sorry, Miss. You’re sick at the moment. You need care, so both of you listen up.”

  As he machine-gunned instructions at us, Daniel hastily scribbled them down in a notepad. The doctor gave me a shot of strong antibiotics and wrote a prescription for more antibiotics. He handed it to Daniel.

  “This has to be filled today. I’ve given her three repeats and I want her to take every last one of them.”

  Daniel nodded. “What about that wound on her forehead?”

  The doc peeled off the dressing and felt the huge lump. “You weren’t satisfied with just getting a serious infection, were you? You had to do this too.” He cleaned the wound, which had stopped bleeding, but still hurt like hell. “I’ll give you another script for some forte paracetamol which will help with the pain, and the fever. Here’s a couple to take now.” I swallowed them down. “Change into something more comfortable while I take Daniel out to the lounge room to discuss the details of your care.”

  I slipped into my pyjamas and slowly and shakily made my way to the bathroom to use it and brush my teeth, holding on to any solid surface to support me as I walked. I’d love to have a shower, but I didn’t have the energy. I flopped back into bed and crawled under the covers.

  Daniel joined me when the doctor left. “The doc said I had to stay close to you tonight because you’re so fevered.” He kicked off his shoes and lay on the bed. He held my hand and kissed my forehead. “Tilly, you’re burning up. Do you want a wet cloth?”

  “Yes, please,” I mumbled.

  He wet the washcloth and laid it across my forehead. He’d also brought back a fresh bottle of water. “You need to keep your fluids up. I’m going to sleep here on your bed on top of the covers, if that’s okay with you?”

  “Of course.”

  “It’s a little early for me so I’ll watch some TV for a while before I come in. Sleep well.” He kissed me again, turned out the light, leaving the door open. I fell asleep quickly, listening to the soft murmuring of the TV. At one point I thought I heard the front door open and Niq’s quiet voice, but I fell asleep then. I didn’t hear when Daniel came into my room for the night.

  During the night he had to wake me up to take my temperature. “It’s still high,” he noted, writing it down on a chart the doctor had given him. “I’ll give you some more painkillers and you’re also due an antibiotic. Clive filled the scripts for me, so I didn’t have to leave you.”

  “You’re so lovely, Danny,” I said drowsily, and while he went to get the tablets, I visited the bathroom, splashing water on my face. I was far too pale and bruising from the bump on my head had begun to spread out past the wound dressing. All in all, I’d sure looked better in my life.

  I giggled when Daniel came back into the bedroom, carrying the tablets in a small, plastic medicine measuring cup. He wore a t-shirt and loose cotton boxers as pyjamas.

  “What are you laughing at?” he smiled.

  “You look cute in your pyjamas. I rarely get to see your legs. You don’t show them very often.”

  “There’s a reason for that,” he kept smiling. “Look at them. They’re scary pale chicken legs.”

  “You need some sun. You should get up to the rooftop more.”

  “If you’re up to it, why don’t we both do some sunbaking tomorrow? Clive’s given me time off work until you’re better. We can have a mini-holiday up there, watching the clouds drift by.” He fed me the tablets and watched like a hawk until I swallowed them.

  “Sounds like a date,” I smiled, snuggling down under my blankets again.

  He climbed into to bed and turned to face me, taking hold of my hands. “Okay, then. Let’s make it happen.” He turned off the lamp next to him.

  “Night, Danny. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Tilly. Sleep well for the rest of the night.” A minute later, he said, “I think I better get a blanket. It’s a bit cool tonight.”

  “Just get under the covers. I don’t want you to be cold.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’m going straight back to sleep.”

  The next thing I knew a dressed and showered Daniel woke me gently. “Time for more temperature taking and tablets. You should have something to eat.”

  “I don’t want to. I just want to sleep for now.” I staggered to the bathroom and back to bed, falling asleep immediately, not waking until midday.

  Niq and Daniel were playing chess when I ca
me out.

  “Chess?”

  “Niq thinks he’s a potential world champion.”

  “He’s too scared to put down some money on it.”

  “Niq, I don’t think you should bet on chess,” I said. “It doesn’t seem in the spirit of the game.”

  Daniel stood up. “Niq, you make Tilly some breakfast while I prepare her medications.”

  “What about the game?” Niq protested.

  “It’s not going anywhere. We’ll pick it up later. This game’s as slow as watching grass grow, especially as you take a whole ten minutes to make each move. I’m bored out of my brain.”

  “I’m being strategic, just like any master player.” He went into the kitchen. “The doctor’s left a list of food we have to feed you from.” He read out all the breakfast choices. “So what do you feel like?”

  None of them excited me. “Scrambled eggs, made with two eggs. And a piece of toast.”

  He bustled about and then stopped forlornly. “I don’t know how to make scrambled eggs.”

  “Oh, brother,” said Daniel. “You give Tilly her tablets instead.”

  He brought them over with a glass of orange juice brimming to the top so that he spilled a bit with each step. “Sorry.”

  “That’s okay, because you’re going to clean it up,” I smiled, swallowing the tablets.

  Grumbling, he grabbed a clean dishcloth and scrubbed at the orange stains on my carpet. “I hate doing housework.”

  “Everybody does,” I said. “That’s why it’s called housework, not house fun.”

  He stopped mopping and considered. “I never thought of that before. It makes a lot of sense.”

  After breakfast we lounged on the rooftop. The painkillers had really kicked in and I even managed a smile. “Niq, we don’t get to see your legs much either.”

  He looked down at them admiringly. “Don’t know why. They’re awesome.”

  “That’s what you’re doing wrong, Danny. You’re not loving your legs enough.”

  He laughed and examined his legs. “Too many scars for them to be loveable.”

  “I love them,” I declared loyally.

  “You love everything about Daniel,” Niq huffed.

  “I love everything about you too, pipsqueak.”

  “Don’t call me pipsqueak. I’m a man, not a six-year-old.”

  I didn’t let his teenage sensitivity bother me. “I bet you were a really cute six-year-old.”

  “I was, even though I was half-starved and dirty,” he said modestly. “But not as cute as I am now.”

  “You sure don’t lack self-confidence, kid.”

  “I grew up without any confidence, but Heller’s taught me to be proud of myself.”

  “He’s good like that,” I agreed.

  “Tilly,” he started, almost if hesitant to continue. “Do you think one of these days Heller won’t come back from his new jobs?”

  “Niq, no, I don’t. Why would you ask that, sweetie?”

  “Because I was so disobedient lately. I’m afraid that he’ll just decide he’s tired of caring for me and will just walk away from here all because of me.”

  “Niq,” I reached over to grab his hand. “Heller isn’t ever going to abandon you or the Warehouse.”

  “Niq,” Daniel said quietly. “I was a million times worse than you when I was fifteen. I put the hell in to Heller’s life. I stole from him, I swore at him, I tried to argue with him, I spat at him, I ran away again and again and I frequently came home drunk and off my head on drugs, ready to fight and throw a few weakling punches at him. But he never gave up on me once, even though he lost his cool a couple of times. And he’ll never give up on you either. His patience, when it comes to us, is endless. That’s one of the things I really love about him.”

  Niq seemed consoled by his words.

  The doctor poked his head around the doorway. “There you are. You don’t make my life any easier when you hide from me,” he grumbled. “I don’t have the time to chase you around the building.”

  “I wasn’t hiding. We just decided to get some sun.”

  “I suppose that’s a good idea,” he conceded unwillingly. “Now, Daniel, how has her temperature been? And is she taking the tablets as I instructed?”

  “The temperature has gone down a little, but only a little. And all tablets taken as instructed.”

  “Good. Let’s look at that arm.” He unwrapped the bandage. “Not much has changed here, but that’s to be expected.”

  He commenced cleaning the wounds, wiping away the fresh pus. Daniel had to look away, but Niq pulled his chair closer to watch in fascination.

  “That’s so gross,” he exalted.

  Clive stepped through the doorway and looked on impassively as the doctor worked. When he noticed how avidly Niq was watching, he sent him downstairs again.

  “I don’t recall giving you the day off. In fact, I remember that you have two assignments due next week. Get moving back to the office now.”

  Grumbling about the unfairness of life, Niq slouched off, his hands jammed in his pockets.

  Clive asked gruffly, “How’s she doing?”

  “I’m still trying to decide whether or not to send her to hospital.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “I’m getting a bit tired of you people.” Clive just stared at him, not budging in his opinion. “Sometimes I wonder if some of you really care about her health at all.”

  “That’s insulting,” Clive replied flatly.

  “I’m not coming back for a few days because I’m busy, but I trust Daniel to let me know if there are any drastic changes. I’ll ring him a couple of times to check when I get a chance.” He scribbled off another prescription, before decisively clipping up his ancient bag. “This is for some antibacterial cream to rub directly on the wounds. Don’t use your fingers. Use a cotton bud. We have to keep these wounds as sterile as possible.”

  “Make sure you do everything he says,” Clive warned, following behind as the doctor flounced away down the stairs.

  “He’s such a barrel of laughs,” I said to Daniel when he was safely out of hearing range.

  Daniel laughed. “He has absolutely no sense of humour at all.”

  “Does he have any social life? Any friends?”

  “Not as far as I know. Heller and Sid are his only friends.”

  “No girlfriends?”

  “Nope.”

  “Do you think he’s gay?”

  “Nope. I honestly think he’s asexual. And if he’s had any kind of bromance in his life, it’s with Heller. He worships Heller. In that respect, he’s completely different to Sid, no matter how much they look alike.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Sid’s a randy bugger.”

  “Really?” I asked, gobsmacked. “I never would have guessed it.”

  “He’s very discreet and obviously he doesn’t bring women back here. I doubt many people around this place would know what he’s up to at nights.”

  “You can count me in that crowd of people who didn’t know. Anyway, how do you know?”

  He smiled mysteriously, something he must have learned from Heller. “I know everything around here.”

  “How?”

  “I keep my ears open, my mouth closed, and I visit a lot of areas in the building every day, talking to people. People trust me because I’m not a gossip.”

  “I trust you.”

  “I trust you too. You’re no gossip either.”

  “Thanks for looking after me, Danny. I really do appreciate it. I don’t want to go back to hospital.”

  “Nobody wants you in hospital.”

  We lay back, enjoying the sun.

  “I wonder where Heller is. I miss him so much. I wish he’d at least ring me. It’s growing harder for me to believe he cares at all when he disappears all the time, and sometimes when I really need him.”

  “I’d never say this to anybody else, and I probably shouldn’t even say this
to you because it will upset you, but sometimes I’m with Niq. I wonder if Heller feels as though he achieved what he set out to do with this business and he’s ready to move on to a new challenge. And that’s why he’s doing these jobs.”

  “You’re right. That upset me.” I stood, preparing to leave.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I just feel like I’m getting a little burnt in the sun. You should come inside too.”

  “Yes.” He touched my arm. “Tilly, I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “It’s okay, Danny. You didn’t say anything I haven’t been thinking anyway.”

  We went inside, more subdued than we’d been before.

  Chapter 19

  My recovery seemed very slow to me, even though I followed the doctor’s orders precisely and rested a lot. I missed Heller enormously, feeling lonely without him.

  I started feeling much better after about two and a half weeks, Dr Kincaid very pleased that the antibiotics had worked so well. My fever had gone and my wounds were no longer swollen and inflamed, though still red and apt to bleed if accidently bumped. I had lots more energy and was able to do most things by myself.

  One day Clive drove me to the police station to finish providing my statement about the necklace heist. The detectives were close-mouthed, not giving me any clues about what had happened to Jaegar or Francine. I cornered Farrell, hoping he’d heard something more about the case.

  I was in luck. Mrs Burwood had been in contact with him, ostensibly to keep him informed, but probably because she didn’t want him waltzing out of her life.

  Despite searching every centimetre of Jaegar’s flat and car and ruthlessly questioning him a number of times, the necklace was yet to be recovered. Other incriminating evidence, such as brochures and internet searches on the display cabinets and security cabinets, had been found in his flat, hidden between motorbike magazines. Mrs Burwood confided that throughout his ongoing interrogations, Jaegar had steadfastly maintained his innocence, refusing to confess. He denied involvement in the theft or knowledge of where the necklace was located. He repeatedly accused Francine of being the mastermind behind the plan, a betrayal that the love-smitten woman apparently took very badly.