Make Me Fall

by Sara Rider

  Her eyes flitted back to her phone in between spoonfuls. He didn’t need to ask why. She was still thinking about the job offer.

  “There’s a flight back to Shadow Creek tomorrow morning,” he said as she scraped the last bits of tiny yellow noodles onto her spoon. “I’m thinking of taking it. But only if you’re okay with that.”

  She nodded. “You need to get back to the brewery. I know that. It’s amazing that you came at all, and it wouldn’t be fair to ask you to stay any longer.”

  “I’d stay forever if you needed me, but I don’t think you do. You’ve got everything under control. I can’t say the same about my assistant, Tom. He’s good, but he still needs help getting the formulas right.”

  “I want to be selfish right now, but I can’t. You have a life in Shadow Creek that you need to get back to.”

  He sat down on the stool next to hers and brushed a loose, wispy strand of hair behind her ear. “So do you.”

  The mix of emotions that battled on her face made him almost regret pushing her, but he couldn’t leave without reminding her that she had another home to come back to. He could feel her being sucked back into her life here like water slipping through his fingers. He didn’t want to lose her.

  “In the last two days, I just found out my parents got back together and nearly died. What if they never fully recover? What if I leave and they fall apart all over again?”

  “What if they’re just fine? What if they’re stronger than you think they are? It’s one thing to take care of them right now, but you can’t do that for the rest of your life. You’ve worked too hard not to remember that your dreams matter, too. You matter.”

  She stood up, brought her bowl and spoon to the dishwasher, then took his hand. She led him upstairs. Her parents had fallen asleep in the living room again—her mom on the sofa with her broken leg propped up on the armrest, and her dad on the leather recliner that was imprinted with the shape of his body from sitting there for so many years.

  The house was old, and the heavy scent of wood from the thick-planked staircase added an ominous flavor to her silence as she led him to her bedroom. Without a word, she pulled her shirt over her head, folded it carefully, and set in on the chair. Her pants came next, then her bra and underwear. She stood in front of him like a flawless blank canvas waiting to be colored by his touch. She was so beautiful, it took his breath away.

  She was perfect, but there was something fragile about her, like she was made of blown glass. He took a moment to memorize every detail of her body. The curve of her collarbone. The tiny birthmark on her hip. The way her thighs swelled with delicious softness.

  He put his hands at her waist. “I never told you what I came here to say.”

  “I already know.”

  His heart thumped in his chest. She knew, but from the way she reached for the button on his jeans, it was clear she wasn’t prepared to talk about it. Not with words. He retrieved the condom from his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans while she unzipped his fly.

  He kicked off the rest of his clothes and lowered her to the bed beneath him. The old, metal frame creaked in protest from their weight. He teased her heat with his fingers until the soft, mewling sounds of her readiness tumbled from her lips. She arched her chest toward his, pressing her tightly beaded nipples against his skin. He slid into her and cupped her checks, holding her while he kissed her with a hunger he’d never experienced before.

  He thrust into her, hard and slow. They’d had sex before, but this was different. This wasn’t about losing himself in pleasure or the sweetness of her body. It was about filling her with his desire and his love, until she breathed it in like oxygen. “I need to say it, Nora. Tell me you’re ready to hear it.”

  Her breath hitched—the only sound other than the chorus of their bodies gliding and bumping against each other. Doubt battered his heart, an uncomfortable sensation almost irreconcilable with the pleasure building inside him. He needed her to understand. He needed her to say yes.

  She dug her fingers into his shoulders, lifting her knees up and locking her ankles around his waist. “Okay.”

  * * *

  She wasn’t ready to hear him say it. Nora had never lied to Eli before, but her basic instincts had taken control of her head and her heart. She was addicted to him. And she was terrified that as soon as he said the those words, her happiness would pop like a fragile bubble.

  His slow thrusts brought her closer to the edge. Their movements were constrained by the tiny bed, leaving no room for anything but the press of their bodies.

  “I love you.”

  Her orgasm overwhelmed her. The only thing grounding her to the world was the feel of his lips on hers. His tight grip on her hips, holding her like he would never let her go.

  He settled on top of her when it was over, using one arm to hold most of his weight, then brushed her hair off her face. “I love you, Nora. I need you to know that.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t have the words for what she felt. It was more than love. It was life-shattering, earth-shaking, blinding love. The kind where she could lose herself completely to him. The kind that could crush her identity and independence into dust.

  The kind that was too strong to deny any longer. She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze as steadily as she could. “I love—”

  A crash sounded from the main floor. A shriek—her mother’s—followed.

  Nora and Eli scrambled out of the bed at the same moment. They threw on whatever clothes they could find and ran downstairs.

  “What’s the matter?” Nora called out before she’d even made it to the living room. She flipped on the light and looked around.

  The lamp that normally sat on the side table lay on the dark hardwood floor. Her mom clutched her broken leg and yelled at her dad to stop, while a blanket half-covered her head. Her dad was hunched over her mom, struggling with the blanket in a way that only seemed to entangle them both further.

  “Hang on, Dad,” Nora said when she realized the fringes of the blanket were somehow caught in his watch. “I’ll fix this.”

  “No, no, I have it under control,” her dad protested, pulling against the fabric, which made her mom moan with pain.

  Her dad’s stubbornness made it take twice as long to disentangle the mess and get everyone settled back down.

  “I was just trying to get Catherine a blanket,” her dad grumbled.

  “I’m fine,” her mom protested with a huff.

  “You’re not fine,” Nora snapped. “You were almost killed two days ago. The doctors said it could be months before you’re walking properly again.”

  “It’s not ideal, but I’ve always felt like I was a fast healer. I’m sure I’ll be walking sooner than that.”

  “Who’s going to take you to your doctors’ appointments? Who’s going to cook for you? Who’s going to make sure you don’t fall down and make things ten times worse?”

  “I’ll do it. I’m her husband. Who else is going to do it?”

  “No, Dad. I’ll take care of it. I’m here now and I’ll take care of everything.” She didn’t mean to sound so angry, but she’d only just figured out how to put her life back together. Now she was going to have to throw it all away in order to fix her parents’ lives.

  Her parents finally went silent, like pouting children after a scolding. Nora’s chest rose and fell quickly. Then she remembered Eli was there, standing in the corner of the room. She met his eyes and felt the weight of everything slam into her like a freight train. She didn’t need to explain. The resigned look on his face made it clear he already knew.

  She wasn’t coming back to Shadow Creek.

  21

  Nora barely slept that night, too exhausted to settle into a proper slumber and too scared that this might be the last night she spent in Eli’s arms. The morning after was even more awkward as she watched him gather the few items he’d brought with him, offering her reassuring smiles that everything would be okay when it woul
dn’t be. Her eyes were swollen with unshed tears and fatigue, and her skin felt raw, like the slightest touch would make her bleed.

  Her parents were still asleep when she crept downstairs to brew him a mug of coffee before his cab arrived. Thank God, because she couldn’t face them right now. She’d finally found a place for herself in Shadow Creek and started to feel like she belonged. Not just because of Eli, though she’d never thought she could feel so happy because of a man. She’d made real friends there—ones who didn’t hesitate to drop everything and help her out when she needed it. She liked her home. The community. Hell, she was actually coming around to liking her job, even if it wasn’t exactly the career path she’d thought she would have at this point in her life. And now she had to give up all of it because her parents had decided to rekindle their marriage by getting frisky in the most dangerous way imaginable.

  It was almost ironic, really, that she hadn’t been able to see how much she actually wanted to stay in Shadow Creek until the choice was taken away from her.

  The old, creaking wood stairs warned her that Eli was on his way down. She poured the coffee into a mug and slid the bagel she’d toasted and covered with cream cheese into a re-sealable plastic bag, tucking a carefully folded paper towel in with it. She wanted to send him off with a better breakfast, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances.

  “That for me?”

  God, he was a beautiful man. She’d always known he was good-looking, but it still astounded her that his heart was just as beautiful, full of selflessness and unfiltered kindness. “Yeah, I hope it’s okay.”

  “It’s perfect, thank you.” He cupped the back of her neck, a touch that was as strong as it was tender.

  She exhaled shakily. The air between them was heavy with all the things they hadn’t said to each other last night.

  A horn beeped from outside, signaling his taxi had arrived. He dropped his forehead to hers. “I meant what I said last night. I love you. If we need to be long distance, then that’s what we’ll be. I can come visit a lot, and eventually I’ll have Tom trained to take over the day-to-day operations at the Holy Grale.”

  She curled her fingers into the hem of his T-shirt. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You don’t have to. I’m not letting this thing between us slip away without a fight. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like I have an anchor to this world. You make me feel like I can accomplish anything when most of my life I’ve felt like a loser. Plus, we still haven’t acted out my sexy scientist fantasy where you show up at my door wearing nothing but a lab coat and safety goggles.”

  She laughed because it was the only thing she could do to keep from crying. He crept quietly out the front door, leaving her with promises to call soon and a soft kiss on the lips. She watched his cab drive off from the living room window, fighting the urge to chase after him. Even if she did, she had no idea if she would beg him to say or tell him not to ruin his life for hers.

  Instead, she walked back to the kitchen to make herself a pot of tea. The ritual of scooping the fragrant leaves into the infuser was familiar and calming, something she desperately needed at this moment.

  “You’re making a mistake.”

  Nora jumped. Her dad was standing at the doorway to the kitchen. She hadn’t heard him wake up. “I’m not sure I’m prepared to take advice from you about relationships right now, Dad.”

  “I can’t blame you for that. I haven’t done a great job setting an example, have I?”

  Nora poured the water from the steaming kettle instead of answering.

  “But you should know more than anyone that there’s value in the experiments that fail.”

  “Is that what you’re trying to do with Mom?”

  “It’s what I need to do. I haven’t done a very good job taking care of your mom. That’s why our marriage fell apart in the first place. We’ve relied on you too much to keep our family together, and that wasn’t fair. It’s time your mom and I figured out how to take care of each other for once.”

  “You picked a hell of a time to start.”

  The smallest hint of a grin tugged at his thin lips. “So I did.”

  Nora sighed. “This isn’t just about trying a new restaurant when Mom feels like Ethiopian food, or taking dance lessons with her. She needs serious care. It will be months until her cast comes off, and she’ll probably need another surgery in the future. She’ll need her stiches removed. Heck, you’ll need your stiches removed and—”

  Her dad placed his hand over hers. “And we’ll figure it out. The hospital gave me a pamphlet for a homecare service. They’ll send a nurse every day to help us with the medical stuff, and the bathing, and anything else. I’ve already called them. The nurse comes this afternoon. I also told my department chair that I’m retiring as soon as my leave is done.”

  Nora’s jaw dropped so fast, she almost lost her grip on her mug. Her dad had never done anything so responsible before. She’d always been the one to organize them. Make the decisions and necessary phone calls. Her heart pounded. Maybe he was right. Maybe she didn’t have to be the one doing it all anymore.

  “Your mom and I agree. As long as you’re here, we won’t be able to prioritize our marriage the way we need to. And you won’t be able to prioritize your life the way you deserve. You need to go.”

  “Even if it means chasing after the knuckle-brained goober?”

  Her dad’s expression darkened. “Yes, even if it means going after him. But if he ever breaks your heart, I have a colleague in the archaeology department with a collection of poison-tipped darts that he’s been itching to try out, and I bet that turd-nugget’s ego is a big enough target that I could take him down in one blow.”

  Eli had arrived at Shadow Creek airport in the late afternoon and spent the rest of the day working his ass off in the brewery to catch up for all the time he’s spent away this week. There was a hell of a lot to do. The orders for the malt and hops were overdue and the floors hadn’t been swept in days, and most importantly, they were running dangerously low on Lord’s Work Lager—the Holy Grale’s most popular brew.

  His fingers were blistered and aching by the time the last patron stumbled out of the pub in the early hours of the morning, but at least he hadn’t had to say much to anyone. Other than a quick explanation to Jake and Julia about what happened to Nora’s parents, he didn’t open his mouth for the rest of the night. Sometimes he thought it was a little ironic that Jake, who was as grumpy as a thirty-two-year-old man could get, was in charge of the bar while Eli was stuck in the back with the whirring machines, but today he appreciated the hell out of their arrangement. There was only one person he wanted to talk to, and she was 2,500 miles away.

  He pulled into his driveway and tried not to look at Nora’s house, though he’d never had very good impulse control, especially when it came to her. Mrs. Kocilowicz would be able to find a new tenant easily, but Eli couldn’t imagine anyone but Nora there. Then again, what choice did he have? She wasn’t coming back, and he couldn’t blame her. If his mom had survived her car accident, he would have done anything for her. And even if he’d meant everything he told Nora about making a go at a long-distance relationship, he knew there were no guarantees it would work out.

  He went straight to the shower when he got home. His bathroom looked damn good with the new tiles and fixtures, if he did say so himself, but it was small comfort right now. He tilted his head under the hot spray and tried to let the stress of the last few days wash off him.

  An odd, loud sound rumbled through the room, shaking the walls around him. He wiped the water out of his eyes and looked around. “What the hell?”

  It happened again. He turned off the shower and heard the faint beat of a Diana Ross song in the distance.

  Another strident growl ripped through the air, attacking his eardrums like the claws of a feral raccoon. It was a sound he knew all too well. “No freaking way.”

  He threw on his boxers
and ran outside to his backyard, barely believing what he saw. “Nora?”

  She was in the middle of his yard, tugging awkwardly at the cord of his weed whacker in a way that put her at risk of losing more than a few fingers. An old-school stereo blaring music sat on the ground beside her. He ran down to the grass and gently pulled her hands away from the machine. She glanced up and pulled off her oversized ear protectors.

  “You’re going to kill yourself,” he scolded, too frightened to process any other emotion right now.

  “I had to get your attention somehow.” She smiled, and that’s when it finally sank in. She was here in his yard, blaring disco songs at him, and defiling his most cherished lawn implement.

  “You’ve definitely got it now.”

  A few of their neighbors’ back porch lights flicked on, but Eli didn’t care about anything except the next few words out of Nora’s mouth.

  “I love you, Eli, and I’d never forgive myself if I just let you walk away without telling you. I love the way you make me laugh and the way you make me feel safe. I love the way you accept me for who I am—uptight, picky, and—”

  “Perfect.”

  Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. She cupped his face. “I love your kindness and your determination and your heart. The way you make every room brighten when you walk in. I love everything about you, even your crappy taste in music.”

  “Could you love his crappy music in the morning? Some of us were trying to sleep!” Budd shouted from his porch. Eli hit the off button on the stereo and Budd gave him a thumbs-up. “Now tell her you love her, too!”

  Eli looked at Nora and grinned. “She already knows.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Applause exploded around them.