Loving Kalvin (The Kennedy Boys Book 4)

by Siobhan Davis

  And let’s not forget how spectacularly I messed up with that bitch, Addison.

  “You’re a nice guy, Kal,” Brett says, in a more serious tone of voice. “I’m not sure I’d be so understanding.”

  There’d been no need to tell Brett my story. When I rocked up to the dorms and met my new roomie, he recognized me instantly. That’s what happens when your mom spearheaded one of the most prestigious, most recognizable fashion brands in the country. There was no such thing as privacy. My six brothers and I had grown up under the glare of the world’s media. Last year was definitely one for the record books, though. Between my trial, my brother’s arrest, my dad’s affair, my cousin almost being killed, news that my three eldest brothers had a different father, and my mom’s admission that she had lied to build her business empire on a falsehood, we were rarely off the airwaves. The media lapped the scandal up, and we were virtual pariahs at school.

  Brett knew everything, which, to be honest, was freaking awesome, because it meant I didn’t have to explain the shit show that is my life. More than that, he was understanding.

  Except when it comes to Lana. That’s where he draws a line.

  When she came clean at the trial, she put herself in the spotlight, and it didn’t present her in the most flattering light. Come to think of it, no wonder she registered under a different name. She probably didn’t want anyone to know who she was. I’m sure she’s picked up her fair share of enemies. That thought kicks my protective instincts into overdrive, accelerating the need to find and shelter her.

  “She isn’t how she was portrayed,” I explain. “If anyone’s to blame for what happened, it’s me. Me and my brother’s ex. Lana is a total sweetheart, and it was completely out of character for her to lie.”

  “I can tell you mean that. Like I said, you’re one of the good guys.”

  “She means everything to me, man, and I let her down when she needed me most. It wasn’t that difficult for me to forgive her. Fact, friend,” I tag on the end, chuckling as I repeat Brett’s catchphrase.

  “She’s a damn fool if she turns you away.”

  “It’s not as simple as that.”

  I’ll say.

  Convincing Lana I forgive her for what she did is the least of it.

  I have years of stupid mistakes to make up for.

  And I can’t wait to get started.

  Chapter Three

  Lana

  “Okay, spill, girlfriend. I want to know everything,” Liv says. We didn’t talk much on the bus, and when we got back to our dorm, I went to use the bathroom, while Liv fixed our usual nightly drinks. Now, we are both in our pajamas, our faces scrubbed clean of makeup, sitting across from one another on our twin beds, sipping chamomile tea.

  I knew this was coming. That it was time to fess up, but it does little to ease my nervousness. Placing my cup on my bedside table, I wipe my sweaty palms over the front of my sleep shorts. I attempt to clear my throat. “Before I start, I need you to know that I was evasive on purpose, but I had every intention of telling you the full story once we got to know each other.”

  She bobs her head, urging me to continue with her eyes.

  “I was scared when we met and you told me you were from New York because I figured you’d definitely know all about the Kennedys and last year’s trial.” The trial was front page news on every paper and the main item on every news channel that whole week. The nation was glued to the drama.

  Leaning forward, she cups both hands around her drink. “Girl, everyone knows who the Kennedys are. Kennedy Apparel was the fashion brand to be seen in. I’ve got a bunch of their dresses in my closet, and I’m still mourning the demise of the label.”

  Last year, Alexandra Kennedy shocked the fashion world when she stepped down as CEO and sold the label to her main competitor. The KA brand has since been swallowed up by the new parent company, Accardi.

  My heart falters. “Great, now everyone on campus is going to know.”

  “Is that why you changed your name?” she asks, confirming she’s figured things out.

  “Partly.” I rub the back of my neck. “Initially, switching to my mother’s maiden name was one of my grandparents’ conditions. My college application was made at the eleventh hour, and they used their connections to help me get in. But it made sense on another level because my name is tainted.”

  And, honestly? It’s no less than I deserve.

  She sends me a sympathetic look, but I toss it aside. I don’t warrant anyone’s pity, but I also refuse to dwell on it. There are more urgent demands on my headspace these days.

  “I’m sorry I kept this from you. Truly, I am,” I admit. “I was sure you’d recognize me and judge me before you’d even had a chance to know me.”

  She takes a sip of her tea. “I didn’t recognize you. Not at all. Most of the press coverage focused on Kalvin.”

  At the time of the trial, yes. But afterward, the media enjoyed plastering my face everywhere and slandering my previous good name. In most other states, as a minor, I would’ve had some privacy but not in Massachusetts where they have this weird law which meant there was little I could do to stop them from revealing my identity. Add the Kennedy celebrity factor into the equation, and public exposure was guaranteed. It was a relief to leave the north behind for the Sunshine State. At least, in the early days.

  “Tell me about him.” She tilts her head to the side. “Tell me about you, and let me hear your side of things because I know what was reported wasn’t the truth. I know you, and you aren’t capable of the things they said you did.”

  I can scarcely swallow over the bitter lump in my throat. “That’s the awful truth, Liv. I did most of what they said I did.” I hang my head, not wishing to see the disgust and disappointment in her eyes. I’ve had to face that same look on my mom’s face every day since my testimony. Every day since I dropped the bomb.

  “Hey.” The bed dips as she plops down beside me. “I’m not going to judge.” She wraps her arm around my shoulder. “We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, and I know you’re a good person, Lana.”

  “Would you have felt that way if you knew immediately who I was?”

  She spears me with honest eyes. “I don’t know. I’d like to think I would’ve given you an opportunity to explain your side of things.”

  Not for the first time, I count my blessings for whatever cosmos deemed to pair me with Olivia. We just click. Maybe it’s the fact we’re both an only child, or she’s just one hell of an awesome human being. Whatever the reason, I’m glad she’s my roommate, my friend.

  “Do I need to give you more alcohol to get it out of you?” she jokes with a smirk.

  I scoot farther up the bed, resting my back against the wall. “It’s late. You sure you want to do this now? If I’m going to do this right, I need to tell you from the start. It could take a while.”

  She twists around, pulling her legs up off the floor. “I don’t have much to do tomorrow, and I can sleep in. I’m ready and willing to listen if you’re up to it.”

  I nibble on the corner of my lips as I prepare to open the doors to my heart. “I was two when my parents landed jobs with the Kennedys. Mom was their housekeeper, and Dad maintained the gardens surrounding the Wellesley property. We moved into a guest bungalow at the edge of the forest that backed onto the estate. Not that I remember too much of that time.” Those early memories are scarce.

  “When I got a little older, I used to play outside with the boys. Alexandra didn’t seem to mind in those days. Kal was only a little younger than me, and we gravitated toward one another from the very start. Soon, we were basically inseparable, and we did everything together. We didn’t go to the same schools, but we would meet in his kitchen after school every day, and Mom would fix us a snack and her legendary pink lemonade, and we did our homework together every night. In the winters, we’d watch t
he latest movies in their home theater or swim in the indoor pool, and I went to all his Little League games. I showed him all my stories”—Liv knows my lifelong dream is to be a writer and that I’ve written a ton of books, all currently lurking undiscovered in the hard drive of my computer—“and he was my most avid fan. He loved everything I wrote, even when it was crap.” I smile at the memory. “He used to draw these pictures to depict scenes from my stories, and he helped me create homemade books.” A tender smile graces my lips as countless memories replay in my mind.

  “During the summers, we’d spend days hanging out by the pool, and he was always the one protecting me from his brothers.”

  She arches a brow.

  “You know he has six brothers?”

  “Girl, everyone knows the Kennedy boys. I can’t believe you grew up surrounded by all that hotness.” She fans herself. “Damn, I’m wet just thinking about it.”

  I throw a pillow at her head, laughing. “Stop it! They’re like my brothers, and that’s grossing me out. Except for Stinky.”

  She splutters. “What the what?”

  I laugh again. “Stinky. That’s what I called Kal when we were younger because he used to let rip with the worst farts known to man.” I double over, clutching my stomach. “If I want to annoy the fuck out of him, all I have to do is call him that name and watch him go crazy.” I chuckle to myself.

  “He’s not the only crazy one if you ask me,” she quips.

  “All his brothers are crazy,” I retort, pretending to ignore her little jokey dig. “They were always trying to dunk me in the pool or pull my bikini top off. Kal would get so mad at them, and I’d have to pretend to be furious because the truth was I didn’t mind. They were fun to be around, and I knew they were only teasing. It was always so quiet in our house, and I enjoyed spending time with them. I looked forward to our summers so much.”

  “It sounds like you were a part of the family.”

  The sheen wipes off the edge of my reminiscence. “I used to think so, too, but Momma Kennedy made it very clear I wasn’t.”

  Liv falls forward onto her stomach, propping up on her elbows, and resting her chin in her hands. “What happened?”

  “We grew up.” I drill her with earnest eyes, as the usual hurt resurfaces. “The Kennedys bought a vacation house in Nantucket, and for the first few years, we went with them for extended periods during the summer. It was bliss. Mom and Dad were working, and I spent the days with Kal and his brothers on the beach or out on our bikes. At night, there were BBQs and parties, and we always got to stay up later because the adults lost track of time. The house was exquisite, and it had the most gorgeous infinity pool and—”

  “Okay, now you’re making me jealous on purpose.”

  I laugh. “Seriously, I loved that house. Loved those summers, which is why it hurt so much when it all came to an abrupt end.”

  “Come on, Lana,” Liv groans. “Stop keeping me in suspense. Get to the juicy stuff.”

  I fling my pillow at her. “Hey! This isn’t the latest soap opera we’re discussing. This is my life!”

  “Your life with the Kennedys,” she swoons, tossing the pillow back at me. “That sounds like a soap opera I’d watch.”

  I roll my eyes, though I appreciate her attempts to keep this lighthearted. “The last time I was in Nantucket was the summer before I turned fourteen. Kal had been acting really weird the whole time, and I was worried I’d done something to upset him. I kept asking him what was wrong, and he kept saying everything was fine.” My heart starts fluttering at the recollection. “I was in my room packing the day we were due to return to the mainland when he came barging into my room and kissed me. No warning. Nothing. He just walked right up to me and planted one on me.” My heart is pounding in my chest. “I can still recall it in vivid detail, as if it was yesterday.” My hand moves of its own accord, and I run my fingers across my lips. “As first kisses go, it was pretty damn magical.”

  “Wow.”

  ““I know.” My smile deepens. Irrespective of where we’ve ended up, no one or nothing can take that memory away from me. I grab a hair tie off my nightstand and twist my hair into a messy bun. “Of course, Kal’s mom had to choose that exact moment to bust into my room, and she caught us in the act.”

  “She flipped out?”

  “Totally, not that you would’ve known it at the time. She pretended not to notice, quietly insisting that Kal go to his room to finish packing. No one ever said a word about it again, but I was never invited back, and from that point on, Kal started acting weird around me.”

  “She must’ve said something to him,” Liv deduces. “What a bitch.”

  “I think so. Alexandra is a snob, and there’s no way she’d ever consider me good enough for her son, but at the time, I didn’t understand it. I thought I was a horrible kisser and that’s why he didn’t want to hang out with me so much.”

  “Wait. What?” She pulls up on her knees. “He just kissed you and that was it? He didn’t bring it up?”

  I shake my head. “Nope. He never spoke about the kiss or why I was banished. He just kissed me and then never mentioned it again.”

  “And how did you feel?”

  “Oh, I was head over heels in love with him. Think I probably always had been, but I didn’t know what I was feeling.” She nods vigorously. “I was hurt when he stopped hanging out with me so much but not enough to stop loving him. God, when I look back on it now, I was so pathetic.”

  I lean my head back and stare at the stark white ceiling. “My friend Zoe used to say I had obsessive compulsive disorder when it came to Kalvin Kennedy, and I argued nonstop with her about it, but she was right. I see that now. There was nothing healthy or normal about the way I crushed on him. I had no interest in slapping 1D on my walls when the hottest boy on the planet lived in the house next door.”

  “Were you hanging with him at all, or had he completely frozen you out?” Liv is frothing at the mouth for further intel.

  “Oh, we always hung out, just not like before. We still spent time together almost every day just not in public. We were always alone. Either he came to my house when my parents were at work or we hung out in the cabin at the back of the woods.”

  “Kinky!”

  I snort. “I wish!”

  “You mean there was nothing going on?” She sounds outraged.

  “No, not until last year.”

  “What the heck did you do?” A puzzled frown furrows her brow.

  I crank out a laugh. “Jeez, Liv. There are other things to do with boys besides sex.”

  “Boring!” She throws another cushion at me.

  I catch it with both hands and stuff it behind my head, sticking my tongue out at her. “We did all the same old stuff, and we talked a lot. About everything and anything. Kal is a real jokester and sometimes it was a chore trying to get him to act serious, but we talked about a lot of deep stuff too, and he opened up to me as I did him. We shared our innermost secrets, and that kept me going, you know? When he was off screwing anything in a skirt, I took some comfort knowing I was the only one he was sharing his dreams with.”

  “I gotta tell you, Lana, your boy isn’t sounding like much of a dreamboat.”

  I shrug. “It was like there were two sides to him. In public, he was the teasing, charming player every girl in Wellesley wanted to hook up with, and a lot did, trust me on that.” Bile coats the inside of my mouth as years of hurt and rejection attack me from all sides. “But, in private, with me, he was sweet and vulnerable and thoughtful, and it made it extremely difficult not to crush on him.”

  I stare off into space. “And he didn’t hesitate to jump to my defense in public if the situation warranted it.” I fiddle with the hem on my shorts. “There was this one time I remember.” My heart skips a beat as I recall the incident. “It was sixth grade, and all the Kennedy boys had
come with their dad and my parents to the school play because I had one of the lead parts that year. I knew my lines by heart, but the second I got up on that stage and saw the crowd and felt the heat of the lights, nerves got the better of me, and I was fluffing all my lines. Jasmine Reed was one of the other leads, and she was also the biggest bully in our year. She got mad at me and pushed me mid-scene. I fell over, and some of the other girls laughed. I was so embarrassed.”

  “What did boy wonder do?”

  I chuckle. “He stormed onto the stage and helped me to my feet. Tucking me under his arm, he turned around and yelled at Jasmine before the teacher dragged him away.” I sigh dreamily. “He was my hero that day, and, funnily enough, I didn’t forget any of my lines after that.”

  “Cute story, but let’s get back to more recent times.” She’s practically salivating, and I roll my eyes again. “Something obviously changed between you, though, or last year wouldn’t have happened.”

  My chest heaves painfully. “Something snapped inside me last year. Or maybe Zoe finally got through to me. I’m not sure, but all I knew was I couldn’t go on any longer trying to deny my feelings for him. I had tried to move on. All through high school, I dated other boys, and I even had a couple of boyfriends. At first, I did it because I thought it’d make Kal jealous, but it never seemed to bother him. Then, I went through periods where I hated him because I was sick of hearing about him with other girls. And I had girls latch on to me continually when they heard I lived on the grounds of the Kennedy estate only to drop me like a hot potato the minute they realized I couldn’t help them into his bed. I’d continually promise myself I was going to forget about him and find a boy who liked me as much as I liked him, so I went out with a few guys, hoping they could help erase Kal from my mind, but it never worked. I was hopelessly smitten. While I did plenty of stuff with my boyfriends, I never let it go beyond that. I always broke the relationship off before it got serious.”