Junie B., First Grader_Cheater Pants

by Barbara Park

  And ha! Mr. Scary was right! Sharing ideas did help spark our imaginations! Plus all of us got to add our own special words to our poem! And that is called good teamwork!

  After we got done, I printed our poem on a clean piece of paper.

  Lennie and José and Herb watched me real careful.

  “I am an excellent printer,” I told them.

  “I can print with the best of them.”

  Pretty soon, all of the other children in Room One finished their poems, too.

  And good news! Mr. Scary said there was time to read some of our poems to the class.

  Lucille didn't wait to get called on.

  She ran right to the front of the room. And she made squinty eyes at Camille and Chenille.

  “I wanted to write my poem with two girls in my group,” she said. “But all they wanted to write about was twins, twins, twins.”

  She looked at them some more.

  “The whole world is not just about you two, you know,” she grouched.

  After that, she fluffed her lacy dress. And she read her poem:

  Me.

  Richie Lucille.

  Shopping, buying, spending.

  Everyone's jealous of myself.

  Princess.

  After she was finished, Mr. Scary sat there for a second.

  Then he smiled and nodded.

  “Good, Lucille. Yes. Excellent,” he said. “That poem really says it all, doesn't it?”

  Lucille nodded. “Yes,” she said. “It does.”

  Then she did another mean look at the twins. And she sat back down.

  After that, May didn't wait to be called on, either. She ran to the front of the room just like Lucille. And she hollered out her poem real loud.

  Tin Can!

  Tin-tin, Can-can!

  I have perfect hearing!

  And Mr. Scary told me it was tin can!

  He did, he did, he really did!

  Mr. Scary rubbed his chin.

  “Yes, well, that certainly was an interesting poem idea, May. But it didn't really follow the rules of a cinquain, did it?” he said.

  “You mean tin can,” said May.

  Mr. Scary did a sigh.

  Then he got up from his desk. And he walked May back to her seat.

  After that, there was time for one more poem.

  My group waved our hands all around in the air.

  “We have a good one!” hollered José.

  “Yes! A really good one!” yelled Lennie.

  Mr. Scary nodded at us.

  And so all of us jumped up. And we stood in our group. And we read our poem with all of our voices.

  A+!

  We got an A+ on our poem!

  Mr. Scary came right back to our desks.

  And he took his red pencil.

  And he wrote an A+ right on top of our paper!

  “What a wonderful poem you guys wrote,” he said. “I loved that.”

  We jumped and clapped for ourselves.

  It was the funnest morning I ever saw.

  And that is not all! ’Cause lunch and recess kept on being fun, too. On account of when four friends are in happy moods together, life is a joy, I tell you!

  After recess, I hurried back to Room One. ’Cause I couldn't wait to see what happy assignment we would do next.

  I skipped in the room and looked at the board.

  And then, boom!

  I came to a screechy stop.

  On account of the board had two terrible words on it!

  It said, SPELLING TEST!

  And I forgot all about that stupid thing!

  That dumb test was supposed to be last Friday. And then it got put off till today. And so how was I even supposed to remember that last night? ’Cause I was worried about my note, of course.

  My legs felt weakish and limpish.

  Very slow, I dragged my feet back to my seat.

  The desks were back to normal again.

  Herb was already sitting down. He turned around and looked at me.

  “What's wrong, Junie B.?” he asked. “Don't you feel good?”

  I laid my head on my desk.

  “I forgot to study my spelling words last night,” I said. “And now I'm going to be in trouble with Mother and Daddy again.”

  I did a whine. “This is the whole dumb problem with school,” I said. “One minute you're all joyful and happy. And the next minute, the joy gets flushed right out of you.”

  Herb tried to make me feel better.

  “Don't worry. Most of the words are easy this week,” he said.

  He paused for a second. “Sort of.”

  I did another whine. ’Cause sort of does not mean “really.”

  In the front of the room, Mr. Scary was passing out paper.

  “Is everybody ready for our spelling test this week?” he said.

  He winked. “Since you had four extra nights to study, I'm sure everyone will get a perfect grade, right?”

  My stomach turned into a knotball at that comment.

  Pretty soon, the test began.

  Mr. Scary pronounced the first spelling word. And he used it in a sentence.

  “Fox,” he said. “The fox is running through the woods. Fox.”

  I perked up a little bit. ’Cause I know how to spell fox, of course.

  I printed it very neat on my paper.

  “The next word is box,” said Mr. Scary. “I keep all my toys in a box. Box.”

  I sat up even perkier. Because ha! Box is just as easy as fox!

  Mr. Scary smiled. “The next word is would,” he said. “I would like all of you to do well on this test. Would.”

  Just then, I stopped perking. ’Cause sometimes I get mixed up on that one.

  I wrote down some letters.

  Then I crossed them out. On account of that was the wrong kind of wood, I believe.

  I tried again.

  I shook my head. That didn't look right, either.

  Finally, I covered my face and I did a groan.

  “Shh!” said May.

  Herb started to turn around to see what was the matter. Then he quick stopped himself. ’Cause no turning around during a test, of course.

  I looked at what I wrote some more. Then I strained my brain to try and remember how to spell it. Only nothing came to me.

  Finally, I did another groan.

  And that's when a miracle happened!

  My friend Herbert came to my rescue!

  First, he shifted a teensy bit in his chair. Then he moved his test paper to where I could see it. And he pointed to the word with his finger.

  My mouth came open at that lovely gesture.

  ’Cause I didn't even ask him to do that! Herb just gave that word to me.

  Like a gift!

  I stretched my neck to see it better.

  And yay! As soon as I saw the word, my imagination got sparked! And I remembered the letter l perfectly good!

  I quick wrote it down on my paper.

  I was just in time!

  Mr. Scary was already on the next word.

  “Peek,” he said. “I saw you peek. Peek.”

  Just then, I sat in my seat very still. And I did a gulp. ’Cause I really thought he saw me peek, that's why.

  Only good news! I was wrong!

  On account of he didn't see me peek. He didn't! And besides, what I did this time wasn't even bad, probably. Because Herb shared that word with me. Just like we shared words for our poem.

  Finally, I did a little sigh. And I wrote peek on my paper.

  After that, I took the rest of the spelling test very perfect.

  And I put what happened right out of my brain.

  Sort of.

  That night, me and Philip Johnny Bob didn't sleep that good.

  We tossed and turned a real lot.

  Also, Philip Johnny Bob talked in his sleep a little bit. ’Cause I heard him say the word cheater pants.

  I woke him up when I heard that. Then both of us got a drink of wa
ter. And we talked about what was the trouble.

  The next morning, our eyes were poopish and droopy.

  And guess what? We were not the only ones who looked like that, either. ’Cause when my friend Herb got on the bus, his eyes were poopish and droopy, too.

  He plopped down next to me. And he did a big yawn.

  “I didn't sleep good last night,” he said real tired.

  I nodded. “Me too, Herb. I didn't sleep good, too,” I said.

  Herb sat there a minute. Then he did a sigh.

  “Yeah, only I don't even want to tell you why I didn't sleep,” he said. “Or maybe you might get mad at me.”

  I raised my eyebrows at him. “Oh?”

  Herb squirmed in his seat kind of uncomfortable. Then he quieted his voice.

  “It's kind of about the spelling test,” he whispered.

  I thought about that. “Oh,” I said. “Oh, yeah. I guess I didn't thank you for helping me, did I?”

  I patted his arm.

  “Thank you, Herb,” I said. “Because of you, I will always remember how to spell the word would.”

  Herb's shoulders slumped way down.

  “Yeah, see … but that's the problem, Junie B.,” he said. “That's why I didn't sleep last night. Because I'm sorry, but I don't feel that good about helping you.”

  He squirmed some more.

  “I mean, at the time, I thought it would be nice. But as soon as I showed you my test, it didn't feel nice at all. Instead, it felt like … well, you know, it felt like I was a—”

  I quick sat up and interrupted him.

  “A cheater pants!” I said. “It felt like you were a cheater pants. Right, Herb? Right? That's how come you couldn't sleep last night, correct? ’Cause at first you thought it would be nice to share with me. Only as soon as you did it, it felt kind of wrong inside.”

  Herb looked surprised at me. “Yeah, it did. But how did you even know that?”

  “Because, Herb. Because,” I said. “Have you forgotten who you are talking to here? I am a cheater pants myself, remember? So I know exactly what it feels like!”

  I shook my head.

  “I can't believe it, Herb. I can't believe I did it two days in a row,” I said. “’Cause on Monday I copied May's homework. And yesterday I copied your spelling word. Only at first, I tried to pretend that you and me were just sharing.”

  Herb nodded kind of sad. “Yeah. But we weren't, were we?” he said.

  “No,” I said back. “We really weren't, Herbert. On account of sharing on a spelling test is called cheating.”

  Herbert did a wince at that word.

  I patted him. “I know just how you feel, pally,” I said. “The word cheater makes you feel like a nasty, rotten ratty pants who can't even be trusted.”

  Herb nodded. Then he smiled a little bit.

  “You have a nice way with words,” he said.

  I did a shrug. “Actually, Philip Johnny Bob came up with that one.”

  After that, me and Herb rode the rest of the way to school without talking.

  We both felt better, I think.

  We told on ourselves at recess.

  Me and Herbert.

  Both of us.

  Together.

  We went to Room One after lunch. And we told Mr. Scary that we cheated on the spelling test.

  Herb explained about how he heard me being upset during the test. And he didn't want me to get in trouble with Mother and Daddy again. So he showed me his answer so I would do good.

  Then I explained about how that was a lovely gesture by Herbert. But after we did it, we both knew it was wrong. And so we will never, ever do that again. And we mean it.

  Mr. Scary listened to us real careful.

  Then he thanked us for our honesty. And he said he admired us very much for telling him what we did.

  After that, he got out our test papers. And he wrote big zeros right at the top of them. On account of even if you get admired, you still get a zero, apparently.

  Only that was not even the end of it.

  Because that night—while I was eating dinner—Mr. Scary called my house. And he tattletaled to Mother right on the phone.

  At first, Mother frowned a real, real lot.

  Then me and her and Daddy talked about cheating all over again. And I got yelled at a little bit.

  But later, when they tucked me into bed, they said they were proud of me and Herb for telling on ourselves. And all of us ended up hugging.

  That night, Philip Johnny Bob and I slept very perfect.

  Only here is the happiest news of all.

  When me and Herb got to school the next day, Mr. Scary called us up to his desk. And he gave each of us a special poem that he wrote all by himself!

  I tried to read mine, but I didn't know all the words. So Mr. Scary read it to me.

  After he finished, I smiled real proud.

  Then I read it one more time. To just myself.

  BARBARA PARK is one of today's funniest authors. Her Junie B. Jones books are consistently on the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists. Her middle-grade novels, which include Skinnybones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Mick Harte Was Here, and The Graduation of Jake Moon, have won over forty children's book awards. Barbara holds a B.S. in education. She has two grown sons and lives with her husband, Richard, in Arizona.

  DENISE BRUNKUS'S entertaining illustrations have appeared in over fifty books. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and daughter.

  Text copyright © 2003 by Barbara Park.

  Illustrations copyright © 2003 by Denise Brunkus.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

  www.randomhouse.com/kids/junieb

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

  Park, Barbara.

  Junie B., first grader: cheater pants / by Barbara Park;

  illustrated by Denise Brunkus. — 1st ed.

  p. cm. “A Stepping Stone Book.”

  SUMMARY: When her father will not let her stay up late to do her homework, first grader Junie B. copies a classmate's paper.

  eISBN: 978-0-375-89445-9

  [1. Cheating—Fiction. 2. Schools—Fiction. 3. Humorous stories.]

  I. Brunkus, Denise, ill. II. Title.

  PZ7.P2197Jsg 2003 [Fic]—dc21 2002153808

  RANDOM HOUSE and colophon are registered trademarks and A STEPPING STONE BOOK and colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.

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