A Secret Sacrifice (Amish Secrets--Book 5)

by J. E. B. Spredemann

  He nodded and leaned closer. “Especially you.” His gaze dropped to her lips as he neared her.

  Rosie laughed and handed him a napkin. “You better wipe your mouth first if you plan on kissing me. You've got chicken grease all over yourself.”

  John accepted the napkin and wiped his mouth clean, grinning. “I thought I was the one with the sense of humor. There. Am I oil-free now?”

  She eyed his lips. “Well...” She reached toward him and swiped at the corner of his mouth. “Now you're good.”

  He took a drink of his water. “So now you'll let me kiss you?”

  She nodded and leaned forward, shutting her eyes with a smile.

  As tempted as he was to simply gaze upon her pretty face, his desire overpowered that temptation and he met her lips with his in a gentle yet passionate kiss. Drawing her form closer to him, he realized once again that this was the woman he longed to spend the rest of his life with.

  “I want to marry you,” he murmured.

  Rosanna's lips left his and her pretty eyelashes opened to reveal wide eyes. “You do?”

  He nodded, absently rubbing her arm. “I do. As soon as we can. In the next wedding season.”

  “Are-Are you asking-?”

  “You to marry me? Yes. Definitely. I am.” He nodded again. “Will you marry me? Please?”

  Her mouth parted, most likely in surprise, and he kept going.

  “I love you, Rosie. I love you so very much. And I want to marry you. I know we would be wonderful together. You laugh at my silly jokes and you are so, so beautiful. And you can kiss- Goodness, you can kiss! And you are so sweet and kind, to your students, to everyone. You make me feel so alive and blessed. I know I don't deserve you. I-” He stopped when her lips met his. Her fingers wove into his hair and sent desire spiraling through his veins. His arms moved of their own accord and pulled her nearer until she was closer to him than anyone had ever been.

  When they finally separated, they were both breathless. “I'm guessing that was a yes?”

  Rosie nodded, then grinned, and threw her arms around his neck and laughed. John wished he was standing so he could twirl her in his arms. She pulled back and held his face in her hands. “I love you, John Christner. And I would love to marry you.” She kissed him again, briefly, then laughed again. “I don't know if I've ever been so happy!”

  He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. “I hope that never changes.”

  <><><>

  Rosanna couldn’t wipe the silly grin off her face as she sat down at her desk to write a letter to her best friend.

  Dear Magdalena,

  Greetings in the name of our Lord!

  I am so excited! I wonder if you'll be able to feel it when you read these words. You’ll never guess what happened. Okay, maybe you will.

  JOHN ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM! And I said YES! I would say it again in a heartbeat.

  I know we haven't courted for long, but I feel like I’ve known him for years. And he knows me so well. He makes me laugh and takes me on adventures. He inspires me and helps me and listens to me. He's sweet and funny and handsome and smart. Oh, I don't know if I can describe him accurately! It’s nearly impossible to pour everything in my heart onto this paper. Simply put, he's the man of my dreams.

  It will be a little while still until we marry, so please don’t tell anyone yet. Much longer than the three months since we met. You see, neither of us have yet been baptized into the church, so that adds extra time and preparation. But it doesn't matter, I would gladly wait much longer for him. I know it’s not our way to tell, but I thought I would just burst if I didn’t share the news with someone.

  Magdalena, I don't have the words to describe how wonderful love feels. It's beautiful and amazing and indescribable. I’ve even been dancing! Not in front of anyone, of course. Oh, I pray you will feel this way someday soon.

  I will let you know when our nuptials are to be.

  Your friend,

  Rosanna

  P.S. I'm getting married!!!!!

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Hey, where you from, man?”

  Zach looked to his comrade, Jones, who polished his boots. “Kentucky.”

  “Never been there. What’s it like?”

  Zachariah pictured his parents’ property with all its surrounding trees. “It’s beautiful, at least it is where I lived. There are many trees and hills. Everything is green in summer, and in fall you’ll see leaves of every color. We get some snow in winter, too, and I really enjoy that. The next farm over is a few miles away, so we’re pretty secluded.”

  “What do you do out there in the sticks, Farm Boy?”

  Zachariah chuckled. “Farm Boy, huh? Jah, I guess that’s pretty accurate. We do have a farm. We grow tobacco and raise horses.” He smiled at Jones. “Where are you from?”

  He shrugged. “California. Hey, you got any family?”

  “My folks, two brothers, and two sisters.” How he missed them. “You?”

  “I have a wife and a little girl. She’s two.” He pulled out his wallet and showed Zach a photograph. “I can’t wait to get back home to them.”

  “Very nice.” He looked forward to the day he’d have a family of his own. He’d hoped that it would be with Rosanna, but he knew that could never happen now.

  Jones longingly stared at the photo in his hands before returning it to his wallet. “You know, at first, I didn’t really want a kid. But things happen, you know. Selena ended up getting pregnant so we got married. Now, I think those two are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Zach noticed a slight misting of his friend’s eyes.

  Wow, how different their lives had been. It was amazing how each person’s story was unique. Yet, here they were working and living side by side as brothers.

  “Do you have a picture of your family?”

  He shook his head. “No. I came from an Amish community. Photos weren’t allowed.”

  “What? Not allowed? That’s crazy, man.”

  He supposed it did sound pretty strange to an Englischer who’d grown up with photographs his whole life. He didn’t even attempt to explain.

  “Don’t you wish you had at least one? That way, you could bring it out and look at their faces once in a while.”

  Zach shrugged. “I know what they look like.”

  “Well, to me, having a picture of those I love most makes me remember why I’m here, why I’m fighting.” He pointed toward the door behind him with his thumb. “Imagine if those crazies out there tried to take over the world like Hitler or Mussolini, or one of the other psycho nut jobs. That’s why we’re here, to protect our loved ones from harm.”

  Zachariah pondered Jones’ words. He’d heard a little of Hitler before, but his knowledge of history was dismal. Is that what these soldiers were all here for? To protect their loved ones from harm? How could that be a bad thing?

  The story of Jacob Hochstetler and the Indians came to his mind. This man had refused to take up arms against the enemy and it cost him his wife and two of his children. Had he been wrong not to defend his loved ones?

  He thought about the story of David and Goliath in the Bible. He couldn’t remember God ever condemning David for his actions. On the contrary, he’d called David a man after His own heart. But David had killed the enemy in order to protect his people.

  Suddenly, Zach didn’t feel so guilty about where he was. Could this be part of God’s plan, despite what he’d always been taught?

  <><><>

  The intense attack from just days before was still fresh in Zach’s mind. His ever present injury couldn’t let him forget it. He did his best to not think about the events that brought him to this point, nor the grueling days ahead of him.

  If he could only get the nightmares to stop. Every time he thought about himself and Jones…he sucked in a breath and quickly wiped away the tears that threatened to brand him as weak. But he hadn’t been the only soldier bawling that day. Many in their platoon mourned the life of their c
omrade and brother.

  Tomorrow would be the day they were shipping him out to Germany. He was of no use in his present state. He’d sustained a leg injury that required more medical attention than what was available here in Afghanistan.

  <><><>

  Zachariah winced as the medic sewed up his wound with temporary sutures. Although the pain paled in comparison to the shrapnel wound being scraped out and closed, just looking at it made him feel queasy. Which made absolutely no sense in Zach’s mind. Why was it he could shoot a doe, gut it out, fillet it into pieces, yet when it came to his own flesh and bones, his stomach roiled? Had he gone soft?

  “We’re going to send you stateside for surgery.”

  Zach frowned. “Surgery? What do you mean?”

  The medic grimaced. “I’m sending you to an orthopedic surgeon. They may have to amputate. We do have good surgeons here in Germany, but I think it would be best if you were closer to home.”

  “You mean, they’re going to cut off part of my leg?” His eyes widened.

  Zimmerman touched his shoulder. “Yeah, that’s what he means, Farm Boy.”

  No! I need my leg!

  “I’m hoping they won’t need to,” the medic added, “But your tibia is pretty much shattered. That’s why you’ve been in so much pain. Don’t worry, they can make you a prosthetic leg if need be.”

  Zach swallowed. “What does that mean?”

  “They can design an artificial limb so you can walk normally again. You’ll probably need to use crutches for a while, but if you get a prosthesis you can walk without crutches.”

  “Can they do something about the pain?”

  “I’m going to prescribe some pain meds for you. That should help.”

  When Zachariah had left the Amish, he never dreamed that he’d return without one of his limbs. What Amish woman would want a husband that couldn’t provide for his own? Farm work was by no means easy; it was labor intensive. So how would he be able to operate a farm while in constant pain? He didn’t wish to be on pain medication his entire life.

  <><><>

  Zachariah stared at the brown bottle in front of him, oblivious to the sights and sounds all around him. What was Rosanna doing right now? Was she busy teaching? Was she correcting her scholars’ papers? Was she out with John? How was her folks’ house coming along? Did her family still live with his?

  “Hey, man, you gonna drink that or just stare at it all night?”

  “You can have it.” He pushed the beer toward his friend.

  “Oh, no. I ordered that for you, buddy. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks.” He shrugged and took a swig. While he’d never been super fond of drinking, he figured one drink every now and then couldn’t hurt. Besides, it helped take his mind off his inner turmoil. The fact that, if he returned to the Amish, he’d return home a shunned man. The fact that he’d never have a chance with beautiful Rosanna. The fact that he had to hide his true feelings from his best friend. And the fact that he’d alienated his family and violated his own conscience.

  “Another round, please.” Sanders called to the waitress and she nodded.

  He examined his bottle. Was it empty already?

  Zach stared at the petite young woman as she set their drinks on the table. She was cute alright, but she didn’t come close to Rosanna. He wondered if he’d ever look at another woman without comparing her to Rosanna. Maybe someday he would, but now Rosanna was all he could think about. She filled his dreams at night and distracted him many times throughout the day. He’d hoped that going away would help him to forget about her, but that didn’t even seem like a possibility. But he had to, because chances were, she was head-over-heels in love with his best friend by now.

  He took the last sip of his beer and realized that, for the first time since the explosion, he had no pain.

  <><><>

  “You’re going home tomorrow.”

  Zachariah couldn’t believe the officer’s words. Home? Already? After three months? He couldn’t go home yet. He hadn’t been gone long enough.

  “Can’t I work in the kitchen or sit at a desk or something? I don’t want to go home.” He never thought he’d hear himself say those words, but his buddies in the military had been like a family to him. They’d become somewhat of a substitute for what he was missing at home. If he left now, he’d have no one.

  The officer eyed him with sympathy. “Has the Army taught you nothing? You realize you’re arguing with authority, right?”

  “No, sir. I’m not arguing, I’m simply putting in a request.”

  “You’re not qualified for either of those positions, besides they’re already filled. What you need to do is thank your lucky stars that you’re still alive. Go home and learn to adjust to civilian life. I’ll see what I can line up for you as far as a job goes after your surgery and rehabilitation. But it will most likely be months before you’ve recovered.” He sighed. “You’ve got some tough times ahead of you, but look on the bright side. You still have use of your right leg. That means you can still drive.”

  Zach grimaced. He’d planned on returning to the Amish once he was done serving his time. Now, he’d be useless on an Amish farm.

  “I think I need a drink.”

  “You deserve one. Just don’t overdo it.” He handed him his papers. “You are dismissed.”

  Zachariah tossed and turned all night long with nary a wink. This had to be one of the worst nights of his life. More difficult than the night he’d decided to leave the Amish. How on earth was he going to return home? He’d expected to be gone for at least six months to a year or two. He couldn’t face his folks now, especially in his current state. Or anyone, for that matter.

  Surely, the Keim family still resided in his home. Or had they been able to move into their own place by now? The Amish did work quickly when it came to important tasks. Either way, there was no way he would go back and face Rosanna – not like this. He had to come up with a plan. He could live on his own, couldn’t he? He didn’t have to return to the Amish. But where would he go?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Rosanna grinned. The day was finally upon them! She helped her family and the Zooks carry their boxed belongings out to the horse-drawn trailer that was awaiting them. They were at last moving out of the Zooks' house and into their own home.

  The Keims were all excited about acquiring their own space and getting settled and the Zooks were most likely glad to return to normal life once they departed. Despite the taxing work, smiles abounded as the transition from house to house was made.

  She knew her father looked forward to living in a house that belonged to him, while her mother could hardly wait to once again have a kitchen to herself. Margaret, Frances, and Rosanna would return to having their own bedrooms, a pleasant change after the cramped quarters with the Zooks. Much as the families enjoyed one another's company, everyone would be relieved once the move was complete.

  After the last of the boxes were deposited inside the house, Rosanna's father addressed the Zooks. “We cannot thank you enough for your kindness and hospitality these past weeks. It means ever so much to us.”

  “It was an honor to have you. I praise Gott for bringing your family to Kentucky. You have been a great blessing.” Abram Zook offered his hand and the two men shook.

  They bid the Zooks a goodbye before beginning to unpack – this time for good.

  <><><>

  Zach breathed a prayer as his hand poised to knock on the door. Brooks, one of his fellow soldiers, had been kind enough to suggest a place to stay. It turned out that his folks rented out their garage-turned-studio apartment for a decent price. Since the military still provided income, he had enough to live on.

  A woman called through the door. “Who is it?”

  “I’m a friend of Brooks. We were in the military together and he told me you rented out your garage.”

  “Yes, he called and told us you’d be coming.” She opened the door wide and smiled. “Any friend of Tommy’s
is welcome in our home. Come on in and I’ll show you the room. How is he doing, by the way?”

  “He’s doing well.”

  Her eyes widened when she noticed his crutches. “You’re leg! Were you injured?”

  “Wounded in battle, ma’am.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry.” She frowned. “When did you return?”

  “Just today, ma’am.”

  “Oh, where are my manners? I’m Betty, Betty Brooks, Tommy’s mom.” She offered her hand. “And your name?”

  “Uh, Zach. The boys called me Farm Boy.” He smiled, remembering when Jones had first given him his nickname.

  “Well, it’s very good to meet you, Zach. Your mother must be worried sick. Have you contacted her?”

  “Uh, no, ma’am.”

  “You are more than welcome to use our phone.”

  “My folks don’t have a phone. I was Amish before joining the military.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, ma’am. And truthfully, my folks probably don’t want to see me now.” He knew that was only a partial truth. His folks would love to see him, but only under specific circumstances. He’d be expected to return to the Amish and make a kneeling confession – which he was not ready to do at the moment.

  “I’m sorry.” Her countenance fell. He could tell that she probably had a hundred questions, but to her credit and his relief, she didn’t voice any of them. “Well, let me show you to your room now.”

  She led the way through the house and walked out to a detached garage, which was connected by an outdoor breezeway. “It’s not too large, but you have your own bathroom and a kitchenette. I’m sorry we don’t have a stove in here, but you can use the hot plate and the toaster oven.”

  He grimaced. “I’ve actually never really cooked much, so it will be a learning experience.”