The Secrets of Life

by K. L. Humphreys

  “Oh babe. I can’t imagine how that feels, hell I don’t think I would have been able to do what you did, but you made the right decision. There was no point in continuing to be with Richie, when your heart is and always will be with Hunter.” She walks over to me and gives me a sideway hug.

  “I know, I did the right thing, I just feel shit about it.” I look into the living room and see Si and Tony fighting with Owen sitting watching, I see a fist fly and lose my temper. “Stop it, what the hell are you doing?” I shout through the door.

  They jump apart and both look at me. “He started it. He said that I’m a geek.” Tony says and I watch as Si pinches him, thinking that I wouldn’t see it.

  “You are a geek, own it. Si, why are you such a wind up? You’re a bloody geek too. And you” I point to Owen, who looks shocked, “how can you even sit there and let it happen? They should have turned on you and battered the crap out of you instead.” I tell him and watch as Emme runs over to him and jumps on him. She makes me laugh the way she does her screeching warrior cry as she runs. The boys follow suit and do a pile on with Owen stuck at the bottom screaming for them to get off.

  “That’s what I like to see, a real smile.” Stef tells me.

  Still looking at the kids, “They’re the greatest people to put a smile on my face. They cheer me up when they don’t even realize that I need it.”

  “You’ve an amazing family Jess, one that I’m grateful to be a part of.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  I’ve been on edge all night. I know Hunters going to be here, but I don’t know when. I’m constantly looking at the door for him. I can’t wait to see him again. “Waiting for that hunk of yours?” Cherry asks me, as she walks up beside me..

  I turn to her, “Not him, Emme’s dad. I broke up with Richie.” It sounds so bad, God. I’m waiting for someone else and I’ve only just broken up with him.

  “That’s a shame love, but Emme’s dad, do you love him?”

  “Yeah, I always have.” I tell her as I wrap my arms around myself. He told me he’d be here, we’re just closing up and there’s no sign of him.

  “Then it was for the best then love. What’s Emme’s dad like then?” She asks with no judgement in her voice, just curiosity.

  I know that she’s into her footy, “You know who Hunter O’Shea is?”

  I watch as her mouth forms into a sly smile. “Of course I do, it’s such a shame he’s retired due to injury. He’s bloody hot.” I smile at her, and watch as she finally gets what I’m getting at. “Oh bloody hell Jess, you sure know how to get the fit ones. Gosh, I’ve just realized that Emme’s the image of him.” She looks shocked, but that quickly morphs into a smile as she looks to the door and I know that can only mean one thing. Hunter’s here. “Go get him love; I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

  “See you later Cherry.” I wink at her and make my way toward Hunter. After speaking to Stef, I made a decision, one that I’m happy with and I really hope that it works out. I’m doing what’s right for me and for my daughter.

  “Hey, Jess. You ready?” his voice is smooth and yet again, it sends shivers down my body. God, is he always going to affect me?

  “Yeah, Hunter.” It comes out all breathy and seductive sounding. He closes his eyes as he lets out a groan. God, I don’t want to think about him groaning. That’ll only lead to one thing and I’m definitely not ready for that.

  We walk to his car in silence and I’m bloody nervous. I don’t know what to say, I have so much I still want to find out. Like what’s happening to his mum? Where is she? What are his plans to get to know Emme? But I don’t even know where to start, how do I bring it up?

  “So, that guy that you were with last night, is he your boyfriend?” Fuck, I should have known he’d want to know about Richie.

  “He was.”

  “Good. So, how’s Emme?” He asks and his face looks worried, but I have no idea why he’d be.

  “She’s good, she’s excited for Christmas. She loves presents, she pretended to be Santa last year and when we went to open the presents in the morning, she handed them out one at a time.” I say laughing, it drives Si crazy. He wants to dig in and open them all at once; however, Emme had different ideas.

  “She sounds amazing. I can’t wait to get to know her.” We get into his car and again, we’re in silence as he drives. The silence doesn’t last long though, “does she know about me?”

  “No, she doesn’t. I was going to tell her about you when you came back, but when you left, I didn’t tell her. Look Hunter, Emme is my world, she means everything to me and I’ll do anything it takes to protect her.” I take a deep breath and I look at him, the headlights of the oncoming traffic illuminates his face and I can see that his eyes have a spark, one that I haven’t seen him have since we were teenagers.

  “Hunter, I want us to take things slowly. I want you to be sure that this is what you want. I want you to meet her and I want her to have her dad but I don’t want you to waltz in and out of her life. If you do that you’ll ruin my little girl, she’s just a child, she’s my baby. She needs to build a relationship with her dad slowly. Both of you need to get to know each other. I need to know for definite that you won’t leave her again.” I know Emme, she’ll be attached as soon as we tell her that Hunter’s her dad.

  “I swear to you Jess, I’m here to stay. I’ve already missed out on five years of her life, I’m not about to miss anymore.” He says gripping the steering wheel tighter; I can see his hands turning white.

  “Good, because I want her to know her dad.” I smile at him as I believe him, it might make me naive but I don’t care.

  “So, you ended things with what’s his face?” He’s such a smug bastard, he has a bloody smirk on his face. It’s so irritating, it’s nothing to laugh at or smirk at. He must sense my annoyance as he starts to back track. “I was only joking, but seriously, you ended it with him?”

  “Yes I did and it was bloody horrible. He was the nicest, funniest guy I’ve ever met and it hurt me to end things with him.” A tear slips down my face when I think about saying goodbye to Richie, I might not have loved him but I really did care about him.

  “I’m sorry Jess.” Not sounding sorry in the least.

  “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. He was the perfect guy, but he wasn’t my perfect guy and that’s why I had to end things. It wasn’t fair for either of us to carry on and get deeper when it wasn’t going to work.”

  “It sounds like you really liked this guy.” He sounds upset, there’s nothing I can do about that, he wasn’t here and I had to try and move on. “I’m sorry if I’m the reason you ended things.”

  “No you’re not. Look, I hurt someone I really cared about and that was my fault, looking back now I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

  “Don’t regret it, you obviously cared for him. Did he feel the same?” Hunter asks me, his hands still glued to the steering wheel.

  “He felt more than I did. He loved me and I didn’t love him back and that’s how I hurt him. I didn’t deserve his love as I couldn’t reciprocate it.” Just thinking about how things went with Richie is killing me, it’s horrible to think that I hurt him.

  “I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be one hundred percent honest with me okay?” I nod, wondering what the hell it is he wants to know. “Do you still love me Jess?”

  “Yes.” I answer instantly. “No matter how hard I tried to move on and forget about you, I couldn’t. I love you so much and I don’t think that will ever change.” It’s time for us to be completely honest with each other.

  “You deserve to be loved Jess. Am I mad that someone else fell in love with you? Yes I am, but I’m so fucking glad that you loved me enough that you couldn’t reciprocate it. If that makes me a bastard, well so be it. I’m not going to lie to you Jess; you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, that I ever will love. Without you I’m nothing.” Oh, shit. I start crying.

  “Jess, please don’t
cry.” He pleads with me “I never meant to upset you.”

  “These are my happy tears. I think that’s the nicest thing that you’ve ever said to me.”

  “Fuck Jess, am I that much of an arsehole?”

  “No, we were young and I was easy.” I tell him with a laugh.

  “Babe, you were anything but easy. You were and still to this day the best I’ve ever had and I can only imagine how much better it’s going to be.” The words ‘you were and still to this day the best I’ve ever had’ replays over and over in my head. I flash back to him having sex with another woman when I went to see him.

  “Jess, what did I say wrong?” He asks and I don’t know what to say. “I know that look, don’t lie to me Jess, I want the truth.”

  “You said I am still the best you’ve ever had. My mind started to race and I began to wonder just how many you’ve slept with. Then I remember walking in on you with another woman.” I sound pathetic, what the hell is wrong with me? None of these things can change.

  “Fuck Jess, I wish you never seen that. I’m so sorry. As for the other question, are you sure you want to know?” For reasons god only knows I nod my head. “Jess I’ve slept with ten women, none of them are you though.”

  Ten? For some reason I thought it would be higher. “Thank you for telling me.” It sounds so stupid even to my ears.

  “Your turn Jess, this is going to kill me but I have to know. How many have you slept with?”

  “One.” My voice is low as I feel stupid.

  “That guy you were dating?” He asks me and I can feel heat starting to rise in my neck and rising throughout my face. “What was his name? Richie?”

  “No I didn’t sleep with Richie.” I take a deep breath and tell him the truth. “Hunter you are the only person that I have ever slept with.”

  “Jess, how is that possible? You’re even more gorgeous than when I first met you. You’ve a banging body. I don’t understand.” He looks dumbfounded.

  “I worked and had kids to look after. I didn’t go out anywhere unless the kids were with me.” I sound like such a bore.

  “I’m sorry Jess.”

  “I’ve told you not to apologize. What’s done is done and can’t be undone. Our daughter is amazing and when she finds out about you she’s going to be so happy.” Just thinking about my baby finding out about Hunter puts a smile on my face.

  “I can’t fucking wait Jess. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited and so nervous at the same time. When can I meet her?” He seems so eager to meet her and I know that I made the right decision in letting him get to know her. Not that there was a decision, I’d never do that to anyone. She’s his daughter and they both deserve to know each other. “Earth to Jess?”

  “Sorry, um… Tomorrow? It’s Saturday.” My nerves are starting to kick in and I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

  “Yeah Jess, that will be perfect.” He pulls up outside the old park we use to hang out in. I don’t hesitate in getting out of the car and hopping the fence and running toward the swing. “Jess, come on. We’re too old to be in here.”

  “So what? What happened to the Hunter that would do anything for a laugh hmm?” I’m teasing him, but this park has so many memories for me, that whenever I bring Emme to a park I purposely steer clear of this one.

  “I lost you Jess, I lost the love of my life.” He’s so serious, standing at the gate just looking at me.

  “I’m right here Hunter, I’m still the love of your life, just as you’re mine.” I call out to him, and freeze when he hops the fence and stalks up to me.

  “Fuck Jess,” he grabs my face with his hands pulling me toward him. I don’t get a chance to say anything as his lips are crushed against mine. The feel of them has me grabbing hold of him, to get closer to him. This, this right here, the feeling of being so drawn to each other that you just want to rip each other’s clothes off is what I’ve been missing.

  His tongue forces my mouth open and our tongues clash. This kiss is everything, anger, lust, frustration and love all rolled together and fuck if it isn’t just the best kiss I’ve ever had, I need more, my hands start to roam his body and he pulls back. I’m left panting and wanting more.

  “Jess, fuck. I want you so bad, but right here isn’t the place. Before anything happens between us, we need to get to know each other again. It’s not fair to you. You deserve to be wooed.”

  I melt into him, he’s being so sweet. He places his arms around me, and although I’m tired we need to get everything out in the open. I take his hand and we walk to the swings. I start to swing and he starts talking.

  “So mum came to see me today, she was all apologetic.”

  I turn to face him while still swinging. “She’s your mum and I can’t stop you from seeing her and I wouldn’t even try but she’s not coming anywhere near Emme.” The bitch wanted her dead, she can take a long walk of a short plank for all I could care.

  “On that we agree. She’s not tainting Emme with her bitterness and evilness. I told her to leave me alone and then dad told her he’d give her three million in the divorce if she left the country and never returned, otherwise he’d have her arrested.”

  “Arrested for what?” Jeez, what the hell has she done?

  “I don’t know and Dad won’t tell me either.” I go higher as I swing and I can feel Hunter’s eyes on me. “Dad and Lewis want to meet her.” He sounds nervous asking me that and I don’t blame him, especially after what his brother has been doing to mine.

  “I’ll talk to the boys about Lewis coming over. If the boys are comfortable with him coming over then he can. But if he does, I won’t feel comfortable with him being anywhere but with you. Your dad is more than welcome to come over.” Knowing my brothers even though they’ll hate it, they’ll pretend that they are okay with it, I don’t want him to come, but if everyone else is okay with it I can’t put a stop to it.

  “Thanks. So there’s one thing that I’ve been wondering.”

  “Hmm what’s that?” I ask as I begin to slow down, ready to get off this swing and go home. I’m dead on my feet.

  “Emme, where did you get that name from?” I’m shocked he hasn’t asked before this, as it’s an unusual name.

  “Her full name is Emmerson Katherine Hughes.” I named her after his granddad and my Nan.

  “Jess.” He’s choked up. He told me that his granddad was his favourite person growing up and it hit him hard when he died and if he ever had a boy he’d name him after his granddad. I didn’t have a boy, but Emmerson suits her and I love the name Emme for short.

  “Thank you. Dad’s going to love it.” He tells me and I smile, glad that he likes that I did as he sort of wanted.

  “I love her name.”

  “I know I don’t have any rights to ask, but is there any way we can put my name on her birth cert?” God, I didn’t even think about that.

  “I wanted you to be, but I had to have your consent and that wasn’t going to happen, so I didn’t. I’m sorry.” I wanted her to know who her family was; I wanted her to make that decision when she was old enough whether or not to find out about them.

  “Can we get her name changed and add me as her father?” I love that he wants to do that.

  “We’ll look into it, we should be able to do it.”

  “I’ll get my lawyer to look into it. Now let’s get you home. You looked knackered.” He takes my hand and pulls me up from the swing.

  “I am, it’s one of the worst things about late night work. Having to be up in the morning to get the kids ready for school.” I yawn as we get to the fence, I don’t think I have the strength to jump that.

  “Come here.” He says after he effortlessly jumps it. I walk closer to the fence and let out a shriek as he leans over, picks me up from the waist and lifts me over the bloody thing. There’s not even a laboured breath from him.

  “Thanks.” I say as I try and get my heart rate down. He just winks at me and takes my hand as we walk back t
o the car.

  “Jess, babe, wake up. You’re home.” I hear along with the sensation of being rocked. Slowly opening my eyes I see Hunter smiling at me. “That’s it. You’re home.”

  Oh, I feel asleep. “I’m sorry for dozing off on you.”

  “Don’t be. Come on let’s get you up those stairs so you can get some sleep.” He helps me out of the car and holds my hand the whole way up the stairs right up to my front door. “Tomorrow?”

  “Yeah Hunter, tomorrow.” I lean in and I kiss him. It doesn’t take long before he pushes me up against the wall and takes over. This kiss is full of promise of what’s to come, its sweet yet rough and I swear I could kiss him all day.

  He pulls away again, “See you in the morning Jess. Sweet dreams, love you baby.”

  “Love you too. Let me know that you make it home okay please.” I ask as I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone and get his number. I call his phone so he has mine. “See you in the morning.” I lean up and kiss his cheek.

  “Count on it. Go on baby, you need sleep. I promise that I’ll text you when I get home.” I open the front door and wave goodbye to him and watch as he starts to walk down the stairs, leaving me standing here with a massive smile on my face.

  I go to the balcony and have a cigarette. By the time I’m in my bedroom putting my pyjamas on, he’s texted me saying he was home. I finally get to bed and I fall asleep with a smile on my face, excited about tomorrow and how happy both Hunter and my little princess will be when they meet.

  Chapter Twenty

  I’m up at eight as I couldn’t sleep any longer, I am so excited. I go into the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea and walk out to the balcony. I’m sitting here having my morning cigarette when Owen walks out and sits beside me. He wants to talk and I have a feeling it’s going to be about Stef.

  “Morning.” I say to him as he grabs my box of cigarettes and helps himself to one.

  “Morning Jess,” His voice is low and gruff. Yeah he’s pissed off.