Fuck, I can’t wait to be inside this woman. I’m going to walk around with blue balls if I don’t plan something special soon.
“Let’s get going then. This should be fun,” I say as we start to walk in the direction of the car.
My mind is racing like a wild horse during the drive home. I need to come up with something really different. Movies and boring stuff like that are out. I glance at the time, and as insane as the idea is, I decide to drive through to our family beach house. I stop at a gas station to fill up, on the way to the apartment.
I park the car, and leaning over, I place a quick kiss on Emma’s lips. “Can you wait here for one sec?”
“Sure,” she says, none the wiser of my plans for her.
I run up to the apartment and pack fresh clothes for tomorrow. Emma must be the easiest person to pack for. Shorts, shirt, pajamas, and underwear. I grin like a dumbass as I throw the silk bra and panty set in. Toothbrush and brush, and I almost miss the little box of contraceptive pills. I open the drawer next to her bed to make sure I’m not missing anything.
I frown when I see other bottles of pills. Reaching for them, I inspect each one. Three are still sealed, the fourth is half empty. I take out my phone and call Zac before I even think it through.
“Speak to me,” he answers quickly.
“Can you check out somethin’ for me? I can’t right now. What is Toplep taken for?”
“Sure,” he says.
“Talk to you later, bro.”
I cut the call and stare at the four bottles, seriously hoping Emma isn’t sick. I push it to the back of my mind for now and head down to the car with our bags.
When I steer us in the direction of Ocean Isle, I switch on the radio. I’ve noticed Emma loves music.
“We have a lot of time to kill, so twenty questions,” I say. I can try and get to know her that way.
“Twenty questions. Wow. You’re feeling brave. What if I ask you something embarrassing?” she says, her eyes lighting up with happiness. I love seeing her like this.
I glance at her. “I have nothin’ to hide,” I say, grinning.
“Normally the male species shies away from answering questions.”
“It’s in my nature to ask them,” I remind her. “I like solvin’ puzzles.”
“You do?” she asks, an uncomfortable look crossing her face.
“Human ones,” I rectify.
“Oh.” She glances out the window and then back at me. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Charcoal, yours?” I counter. She looks around the car as if she’s thinking about it.
“I love any shade of blue,” she says.
“Favorite thing to do?” I watch her closely. She couldn’t decide on something to do for tonight, and it has me thinking about what the world is like where she comes from that she couldn’t make a simple decision. With the little I know about her, I get the feeling her mother held her prisoner.
“Read, and you?” She surprises me with a quick answer, but one word is not good enough.
“What do you read? You need to explain it more.”
“I read anything I can get my hands on. I love books.”
A mischievous smile settles around her mouth. “What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done?”
I don’t know if she means crazy daring or just plain daring.
“That’s a tough one,” I say. “It all depends. Do you mean crazy, or plain ole’ darin’?”
“Both,” she replies as she rests her head back against the car seat.
“Crazy first.” I smile at the memory. “Laurie and I went through the academy together. We got partnered together, too. We got labeled ‘The Terrible Twins’ after we drew the short straw out of all the rookies on who would prank the captain durin’ our first week on the job. When he wasn’t there, we turned the whole place upside down.” I sigh, remembering how we took turns to keep watch. “Laurie even turned the certificates on the wall upside down. Whatever we couldn’t turn upside down, we glued down. Damn, our captain was pissed at us.” I laugh, and then the old pang of sadness comes, tightening its hold on my heart.
“She sounds nice. So you’re twins?”
“Yeah. The most darin’ thing I’ve ever done was four years back.” I grip the wheel harder. “Goin’ to Laurie’s funeral took about all the courage I had.”
“I’m-” My eyes snap to Emma, and she stops in the middle of saying the words. I hate it when people say they’re sorry for your loss.
Emma places her hand on my thigh and smiles gently. “It couldn’t have been easy.”
I loosen my hold on the wheel and force a smile to my lips. We need to move on to a happier subject.
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve done?” I ask.
I catch the smile on her face before she looks out the window. “Going to a bar and asking a guy to sleep with me.”
Her cheeks flush a deep pink, telling me just how hard it is for her to admit.
“And? How’s it all workin’ out for you so far?”
“Better than any book I’ve read.” The honesty shows on her face. If I weren’t driving right now, I’d kiss her breathless.
Instead, I settle for second best and bring her hand to my lips, pressing a kiss to her fingers before resting our hands on my thigh.
As we reach the halfway mark of our journey, she finally starts to ask where we’re going, but I don’t give her any clues, wanting it to be a surprise.
We keep taking turns to ask questions, and as we near Ocean’s Isle, I can’t wait to see her face when she realizes where I’ve brought her.
I’ve seen the view every summer when we’ve come down for family vacations, and I hope Emma will love it as much as I do.
Just like clockwork, the strip of blue appears, and Emma’s fingers dig into my hand.
“Aiden,” she breathes, a wide smile brightening her face. “It’s so beautiful.”
CHAPTER 12
EMMA
After driving for about three hours, Aiden stops outside a house. I don’t know who it belongs to, or whether it’s his.
“It’s our family cottage,” he says. “We come here every summer. I hope you’ll like it.”
Family holidays? It just reminds me of how different our lives are.
I follow him silently up the stairs, and as he opens the door, he waits for me to walk inside first. I feel uncomfortable walking into someone else’s home. I don’t even feel welcome in my parents’ house. I’ve been taught to always walk behind my parents and brother and to let them first pass through doors, as a way of showing respect.
Aiden takes my hand and leads me deeper into the house. There are pictures of everyone on the wall. Children, teenagers, adults. I see one of Aiden and a woman, and I stop. Two pairs of grey eyes look back at me. She’s wearing a formal dress. You can feel the love through the photo. Even though Laurie is shorter than Aiden, you can see they’re twins.
I just feel so sorry for the family’s loss, especially Aiden’s. I can’t imagine what it’s like losing a twin, and by the sounds of it, they were best friends.
“She’s so beautiful,” I say, then I laugh when I see a photo of where they’re much younger. Laurie is riding on Aiden’s back, pretending he’s a horse. She’s even wearing a cowboy hat.
My eyes jump from the one photo to the next. The two of them doing sports. Another of them graduating.
A family portrait. I feel the pang in my heart at seeing what I’ve been missing out on.
“Are your parents proud of you?” I ask.
He tugs at my hand, trying to get me to face him. Eventually, he lets go and takes hold of my shoulders, turning me to him.
“Yes, very.” He smiles. “We’re a close family.” He’s watching me intently, so I force a smile to my lips.
“I’m happy for you.” I’m really glad that he comes from a loving family. There’s hope for the world, knowing not all families are like mine.
I follow him t
hrough a living room which is decorated in an ocean theme.
“Wow, I really like what you’ve done with this room.” I compliment him.
“Thanks, but I can’t take the credit. Mom and Laurie did all the decoratin’.”
“They did an amazing job.”
Stepping out onto a deck my eyes drink in the stunning view of the ocean that stretches out before us. Not only is Aiden perfect, but he comes from a perfect world.
“You want to grab somethin’ to eat first, or go for a walk along the beach?” he asks.
“You can choose.” I’ve never been allowed to make a decision in my life. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. We can do anything, and it will be new and exciting to me.
When Aiden turns to face me, he’s frowning. “Emma, I’m askin’ you. I want you to think about what you would like to do. Just for once stop thinkin’ about pleasin’ someone else, and think about what you want.”
There’s only one thing I really want to do.
“I’d really like to see your room,” I say, holding my hand out to him.
I want to see more of his life.
Placing his hand in mine, we go back into the house. We pass a kitchen, and when we reach a passage, I see there are more photos lining the walls.
I stop at a picture of Aiden and Laurie, standing in full uniform next to a police car. It’s weird seeing him like that. He’s been going to college with me, attending classes, and pulling off the student act so well, that I keep forgetting he’s undercover.
Seeing Aiden in his uniform makes it real.
“This is it,” he says as he pushes a door open.
I move closer and glance inside. It’s nothing like at the flat. There, he only has the bed and desk in his room. I step inside and look around. Besides the bed, there’s a desk with various medals and trophies. Plaques are up on the wall, and I’m guessing what I’m seeing is only some of it. This is their holiday home so I can just imagine what it looks like at his parent's house.
“Is there something you’re not good at? Really, anything?” I know I’ve asked before, but this time I mean it. How is it possible that, on this whole planet, my path had to cross with the one person that’s my total opposite? I’ll never be able to keep up with him. He’s light years ahead of me.
“I’m not good at sharin’. I recently found out I get jealous,” he admits.
I look up, surprised by what he said.
“What do you get jealous of?” I ask, but his phone rings before he can answer me.
“Can you give me a sec?” he apologizes, and I nod. “Hey, Zac.” He steps out of the room, but I can still hear him as I look at everything in his room.
“You did?” There’s a moment's pause then he asks, “Are you sure?”
I smile when I see a worn baseball cap and brush my fingers over the top of it.
“So you’re tellin’ me it’s for any of those four?”
I hope whatever it is isn’t too bad. I hear him sigh as he ends the call.
When he walks back into the room, he looks upset.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, worried that he got bad news.
“Please sit, Emma.”
I sit down on the corner of the bed and wait for him to tell me what’s wrong as he pulls the chair away from the desk, and positions it opposite from me.
When he sits down and looks at me, it’s with a different look in his eyes than what I’ve gotten used to. He’s so serious, and I realize I’m getting a taste of what it’s like to sit opposite Aiden the detective.
My stomach starts to twist like it does when I know I have to leave my room to go to the toilet, and I have to walk past my mother.
Crap, it feels awful.
“It’s hard to figure you out,” he says, which only makes confusion swirl through me. “I don’t know how to word this correctly, so I’m just going to come out and ask it.” My heartbeat picks up so fast, and it makes me feel lightheaded. “Are you sick, Emma?”
“Huh.” Why would he ask me that? “No, I’m not sick at all.”
“If you’re healthy, then it leaves only two other options. You said yourself you’ve never been drunk, so you can’t be an alcoholic.”
His words shudder through me making the blood drain from my face.
“Why would you, who are healthy, be takin’ such a high dosage of Toplep, a drug you need a prescription for? Can you explain that to me?”
Shit. It feels as if the ground has been ripped out from under me.
I made a mistake. I actually allowed myself to feel happy for a moment, and now the shit is hitting the fan.
I need to calm down. I take a deep breath like I do when I’m facing my mother – slow and careful.
I get up and walk to the window, unable to sit still right now.
“I used to take them so I wouldn’t pick up weight,” I admit part of the truth. It’s all I can do. I learned at an early age not to lie. Lying only makes it worse. “My mother started me on them when she felt I was gaining too much weight.”
Humiliation courses through my veins and I feel it warming my face. I rush into a quick explanation, to make it sound better than it really is.
“It’s become a habit to carry them with me and to flush it down the toilet every day, so she doesn’t notice that I’ve stopped taking them. I suppose it’s stupid doing it since I’m not even at home. I can throw them all away, and she wouldn’t know.”
I swallow the tears back because so help me God, I won’t cry, not because of her.
“Why don’t you fight back?” he asks, and although his voice is gentler, the question hits hard.
I wrap my arms around myself as I laugh bitterly.
“Fight back?” A dull burning starts in my stomach, and it makes me feel nauseous. “I have. Many times.”
I shake my head to stop the memories from overwhelming me. The words just burst from me when the wall I’ve fought so hard to keep up cracks right down the middle.
“I’ve tried, but to fight for hours with a person who can’t hear what you’re saying because they keep drinking one glass of wine after the other, only makes it worse. With time I learned to keep quiet. It’s better that way.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the rest in and dare a glance over my shoulder, only to see Aiden leaning with his elbows on his legs, staring at the floor.
His mouth is set in a hard line, which makes a muscle jump in his jaw.
“You think I’m weak for not fighting harder, don’t you?”
Instead of keeping quiet like it’s been ingrained into me all my life, anger bubbles up in me, and I keep going.
“I suppose it would be easy for you to think that. Your mother loves you. I’m sure she tells you that, often, too.” Turning around, I face him. “Your mother never told you that you should rather have been a boy and to be more like your brother.”
I should stop, but he’s just staring at me as if he doesn’t care about what I’m telling him which makes a wave of pain slam into me. I take a shaky breath to keep the tears back.
“Your mother never shoved a knife into your hand and held it to her throat, telling you to kill her, and by God, you wanted to with every fiber of your being. But instead, you swallow down the disgust and hold her. You hold the woman who abuses you every chance she gets. You will yourself not to move just so she can touch your hand, and it makes you sick to your stomach, but you do it otherwise she beats you until you’re lying on the floor.” I swallow hard on the lump of emotion stuck in my throat.
Now that I’ve started I can’t stop. I’ve never told anyone this. In a way, it feels freeing like I’ve ripped the scab off and the wound can finally start to heal.
“She would beat my back raw, and then afterward I’d have to tell her how much I love her.”
Aiden gets up and takes a step towards me, but I hold up my hand to stop him. I can’t stand being touched now.
“I just want her to stop, Aiden, so I keep quiet. It’s over s
ooner then.” As I say the words, I realize I’ve said too much.
I can’t walk away from the humiliation, because where would I go? I can’t sink down and cry, because that would be a sign of weakness. I can’t even go home. So I do the only thing I can. I run by Aiden, avoiding his hand as he reaches for me.
Feeling rejected by life, a sob builds in my throat, and as I rush out onto the deck, the first tear falls.
I grab hold of the railing as the memories tear through me. Now that I’ve had a glimpse of what life is really like, it hurts so much more.
I crouch down as wave after wave of anger and hurt washes through me. My fingers wrap tighter around the wooden poles as the tears I’ve been holding in for so long, fall to the deck.
Aiden comes up behind me, and leaning over me, he takes hold of my hands, pulling them away from the railing. Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulls me to my feet, then turns me around and draws me into a hug.
“Hold onto me, Em,” he whispers, his strong arms pinning me to his broad chest, which only makes me cry harder.
I wrap my arms around his waist and smother my sobs in his chest, letting the tears wash me clean of all the hate, the anger, the heartbreak.
I feel awful for the things I’ve said. Aiden’s a good man. He didn’t deserve any of that.
“I’m really sorry for what I said,” I stammer as I try to catch my breath. “You’re right, I –”
He stops me mid-sentence. “Emma.” His voice is soft as his breath warms my forehead. “Don’t apologize. There’s absolutely nothin’ for you to be sorry about. I need to know all of that so I can help you.”
Taking a deep breath of his unique scent, I feel the storm dissipate inside of me, making place for the sun.
His arms tighten around me as he presses a kiss to the top of my head.
I want to stay like this forever, safe in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs against my hair. “It’s easy for me to tell you to fight when I’ve been taught how to. I… fuck. I’m sorry. I wish I could change what happened to you. I wish I had been there to stop it.”
Taking hold of my hands, he pulls my arms away from where they were wrapped around his waist, bringing them up to his chest. He covers both my hands with one of his, keeping them in place as his free hand reaches for my face. With soft brushes, he wipes my tears away.
The Ocean Between Us (A Southern Heroes Novel Book 1) Page 10
