Taking hold of my chin, he tilts my face up. His eyes are soft on me. “Are you okay?” he asks, and my throat constricts.
This man.
He’s the opposite of my mother.
He’s my heaven where she’s my hell.
“You’re so different,” I whisper instead of answering his question. “I can’t stand anyone touching me. I wish I could explain to you how amazing it feels when you touch me.” I take a deep breath, then continue, “You’re the first person I’ve told.”
“I’m glad you told me, Em.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I close my eyes so I can savor the moment.
Grabbing hold of his shirt, I move closer until my body is pressed tightly against his. A shiver runs down my spine, settling deep in my heart.
I think I’ve fallen in love with him. Irrevocably with all of my heart.
I lift my eyes to his, wanting to say the words, but they get stuck in my throat. Instead, I decide to show him how much he means to me.
He tilts his head, and his mouth lifts at the corner. It makes him look wickedly handsome.
“I’ve seen that look before, and I’d love to know what you’re thinkin’.”
A smile pulls at my lips. “I’m thinking how lucky I am to have met you.” I take a deep breath and gathering all my courage, I whisper, “I want you to be the one, Aiden. Tonight. You said it should be special, and it won’t get more special than this for me.”
“Take what you want, Em,” he says as his eyes drop to my mouth. “You set the pace, and I’ll follow.”
Can this man get any sweeter?
I slip my one hand beneath his shirt, pressing my fingertips lightly to his abs. Feeling his muscles tighten beneath my touch, I take it as a good sign. I push his shirt up, and once I have it off, I drop it on the deck next to us.
I take in the flawless art that is his chest. Standing on my toes, I press a kiss to his neck, right where his tattoo starts.
I trail feather-soft kisses to the middle of his chest. Glancing up from under my lashes, my insides tighten with satisfaction when I see the heat in his eyes.
I want this man now. I’ve been ready since the dark ages.
His fingers dig into my hips as he takes hold of me, and then he lifts me up. I quickly wrap my legs around his waist. There’s a sweet tightening in my abdomen when I feel how hard he is.
Nervous excitement ripples through me as he walks us back into the house. I continue to tempt him as best I can by brushing my lips along his jaw.
When I nip at the skin just beneath his ear, his arms tighten around me.
“Are you enjoyin’ yourself?” he asks hoarsely.
I nod, a grin spreading over my face. “Quite a bit.”
Walking into his room, he drops me on the bed, but before he can follow, I get onto my knees. Reaching for the waistband of his jeans, I slip the tips of my fingers inside and tug him forward.
His smile grows the closer he gets, until he’s right in front of me, looking down. Bloody hell, he’s gorgeous. I swallow to keep from drooling.
“And now?” he whispers. “Now that you have me here, what are you goin’ to do with me?”
There’s such an intense fluttering in my stomach that it almost feels painful between my legs.
“Get on the bed,” I say, scooting back to make space for him.
Climbing on, he kneels in front of me, resting his hands on his thighs. I reach for his chest, and with a single finger, I trace the outline of his tattoo. I notice a scar just beneath the one tribal design.
My eyes dart to his. “Is this a bullet wound?”
He nods. “Yeah, but we’re not talkin’ about that now.”
It’s unsettling to know he’s been shot. The idea of him being in any kind of danger makes my heart shrink.
I press a kiss to it and keep going, trying to ignore the new worry knotting in my stomach. I trace my fingers across the hard plane of Aiden’s back until I reach his shoulders.
“One of us is overdressed,” he teases as he takes hold of my shirt, dragging it over my head. With one movement, he unclasps my bra.
“I thought I’d let you take the lead,” he rasps, his hands brushing up my sides, sending tingles rushing through my body, “but I think I’ll take over now if you don’t mind.”
I nod because that sounds bloody amazing.
His head drops to my breast, and I go down with a moan.
CHAPTER 13
AIDEN
I fought hard to keep my anger in check while Emma told me about her mother. It felt like a hurricane was tearing through my chest.
I don’t know how it feels not to be loved, so I can’t possibly understand how Emma feels.
Fuck, if her mother were a guy, I’d beat the shit out of her.
I’m still processing half of what she told me, and as I unclasp her bra, I feel a war raging inside of me. There was a time it would’ve been easy to have meaningless sex, but not with Emma.
I can’t just fuck her, and afterward, go on as if something significant didn’t happen between us.
With my feelings all over the place, I reach for her jeans.
My mind is telling me to wait, and to think this through while my cock is telling me to go for it. I want Emma so bad it aches.
Emma wants this, and so do I.
We want this.
She’s emotional. I’m an ass for not taking this slower. This is not the right time even though she told me she’s ready.
I yank her jeans off and crawling back over her, I drink in her pale soft skin. Lifting my hands to her face, I slip my fingers into her hair, feeling the silkiness. Her breaths are fast against my mouth, but I take a moment to look at her. If I kiss her now, I’ll want all of her.
Meeting her eyes, I see the heated desire. Before I can think about this for another second, she crushes her mouth to mine.
She kisses me with so much hunger, I’m back to teetering on the edge of heaven’s bliss, and it now has a name – Emma.
She reaches for the snap of my jeans, and I hear the zip go. I should slow her down, but I can’t. This is just too incredible. Her hands slip beneath the fabric, and when her fingers wrap around me, I growl against her mouth.
My body jerks against hers when she slowly slides her hand up and down the length of me.
It feels so fucking good.
Fuck, we can talk later. Right now I just want to focus on making Emma feel good.
I break the kiss and work my way down to her breasts. She moans as I softly bite her nipple.
Before I can move further down, she places her hands on my shoulders and pushes until I relent and turn onto my back.
She pulls my jeans off then steps out of her shorts and panties before crawling over me. I reach for her breasts, my thumbs brushing over her taut nipples.
What a fucking incredible sight.
She straddles me, and a cold sweat breaks out over my body as her pussy rubs against my hard as fuck cock.
It’s right about then all reason and reality leave the room. When Emma begins to move, my fingers dig into her hips, and I have to grit my teeth as all my blood rushes down south. It’s all I can do to not bury myself deep inside her hot pussy, and fuck her senseless.
Not being able to take much more of feeling her clit massaging my cock, I tighten my hold on her slender hips and lift her to my abs, so I can just catch my breath.
“Emma,” I grind out her name between my teeth. “You’re overestimatin’ my self-control.”
But she doesn’t listen. Placing both her hands on my chest, she thrusts her body down. It happens so fucking fast, that when her pussy slams down on my cock, and I sink deep inside of her, my breath gets ripped from my lungs.
“Fuck,” I growl. Unable to control my body my ass bows off the bed pushing harder into Emma.
My fingers dig too hard into her skin as I fight to gain control.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Emma gasps sharply, her arms giving way beneath
her. She falls over my chest, and I feel her breaths, hot and ragged against my skin.
We’re both tense for a few seconds, as I struggle not to move, not wanting to hurt her further.
I can’t believe she did that.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers when she finally catches her breath. “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” she starts to ramble. “I just wanted to move back down, and all of a sudden you were there, and…” her words trail away as a shudder ripples through her body.
“Are you okay?” I ask. That must’ve hurt like a mother.
She shakes her head, and I gently ease to the side, turning us over, and slowly pull out. She winces and the look of pain tightens her features.
I just took her virginity.
Fuck!
I didn’t get to whisper to her how precious she is while making sure she was ready.
“Wait here,” I whisper as I slip off the bed.
I rush to the bathroom and first clean myself up. The sight of Emma’s blood makes me grit my teeth as anger begins to simmer in my chest.
How the fuck did this night go from good to bad so fast?
I’ve fucked up, and I know it.
Opening the warm water, I wet a cloth before heading back to the room. Walking in, Emma’s already getting dressed.
Dropping the cloth on the desk, I grab my jeans and pull them on, then turn to Emma.
“You should have a warm bath. You’ll feel better afterward.” Taking her hand, I lead her to the bathroom. I open the faucets and throw in some bubble bath as well. Turning back to her, she looks so fucking vulnerable I want to slap myself upside the head for allowing this to happen. “Get in. I’ll grab some fresh towels and bring your bag.”
I close the door behind me and give her some time alone.
Walking out onto the deck, I shove my hands in my pockets and stare blindly at the ocean.
I don’t even know where to begin to process this night.
CHAPTER 14
EMMA
Stripping out of my clothes, I climb in the bath, wincing when the warm water laps between my legs.
Crap that hurt a lot.
I can’t believe I did that. My heart feels heavy with regret and shame.
I took advantage of Aiden. What type of person does that make me?
Even though I didn’t mean for it to happen, it’s still my fault. Aiden tried to take it slower, and I got caught up in how incredible it felt.
Now it’s all ruined. He wouldn’t even finish having sex with me.
Ugh… this sucks.
As I wash, my mind starts to run wild with everything that happened tonight.
I spilled my guts to Aiden. He knows all the sordid details of my past. I just assumed he was okay with it all and threw myself at him – again.
There’s a knock at the door, and I pull my knees up to my chest, then say, “Come in.”
Aiden only pushes half inside and drops the bag and towels on the floor. Not even looking at me, he shuts the door which just makes me feel worse.
I drop my chin to my knees, wishing I could erase tonight, and do things differently.
But I can’t. It is what it is.
I’ve screwed up, and I don’t know how to fix it. Can I even repair the damage I’ve done?
Climbing out of the bath, I let the water out. I dry myself, being careful between my legs. After getting dressed, I look at myself in the mirror.
I don’t like the person staring back at me. Shame fills my chest until it feels like I’m suffocating. I need time alone so I can figure out where to go from here. I need to take a good look at myself and make some changes.
I can’t go on like this.
Knowing that Aiden will want to talk about what happened and that he’ll probably be understanding and sweet, I shove my dirty clothes in the bag and sneaking to his room, I quickly put on my shoes.
When I shut the front door behind me, I let out the breath I’ve been holding. Taking out my phone, I open the Uber app so I can request a ride.
The app is still loading when the front door swings open behind me, and Aiden comes out.
Oh shit, so much for slipping away quietly.
“Seriously, Emma? You’re just going to leave?” he snaps, anger tightening his handsome features.
“I was going to send you a message,” I say lamely. “I thought it would be best if we had some time apart.”
He glances up at the sky, sucking in a deep breath. When he brings his eyes back to mine, and I see the hurt in them, my heart breaks a little knowing I’m responsible.
“I’m so s – ”
Aiden cuts me off, “Don’t apologize.” His voice is tense. “I’ll take you home. You don’t need to call a cab to get away from me.”
He disappears back inside and seconds later comes out, fully dressed and carrying his bag.
When he walks toward the car, my shoulders slump in defeat. I climb in and place my bag at my feet. After pulling on the seatbelt, I wrap my arms around me and stare out the window.
Aiden gets in, and not breaking the silence, he starts the car and drives away from what was supposed to be a special night for us.
Congratulations, Emma. You’ve just successfully ruined the best thing that ever happened to you.
CHAPTER 15
AIDEN
I’m used to communicating, but not this – whatever the fuck this is. For the past week, when I come back from my run, Emma has already left for school. We hardly see each other.
On the odd chance, I do get to see her, she’s withdrawn. Starting a conversation with her is impossible.
I don’t see her eat, and it worries me. When I ask if she wants something, she declines in this proper way that’s starting to irritate the shit out of me. I don’t know if she’s eating at college. This whole thing is driving me fucking crazy.
I almost lost the fight tonight, all because I could only think of this fucked up mess between Emma and me.
It took me forever to get Joe off of me. My ribs are killing me, and I worry I won’t be healed for the main event which was finally announced tonight. One week and I’ll get to finally bust Katia’s ass.
After taking a shower to loosen my muscles, I head into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Emma’s been coming home later and later every day, and I don’t want to think why. I try not to.
I’m about to head back to my room when the front door opens. I stop and watch as Emma tries to sneak in, softly closing the door.
She turns around, her arms full of books, and as her eyes land on me, I watch her eyes widen with shock. I’m just about to lose my temper and tell her to stop trying to evade me when she drops the books to the floor.
“Aiden, you’re hurt,” she cries, as she rushes forward. Nothing could prepare me for her touch. It’s like lightning striking when her fingers carefully probe at my ribs.
I flinch, not because it hurts, but because it’s too much. Emma can’t just touch me while things are so bad between us.
“It’s nothin’,” I say, pulling away from her. I walk around her and pick up the books. Glancing at the books, they’re all on the same subject. The idiot’s guide to English. A-Z of writing well.
I hand her the books, and I can’t miss that she looks tired.
“How’s school?” I ask, unable to stay angry with her.
“It’s okay,” she sighs. “Turns out South African English is very different from American English. I need to learn how to spell all over again. I’ve been working my butt off to get all the assignments in on time. I only have one left then I’ll be able to breathe again.” She smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Well then, I better get a move on.”
Fuck, I’m such an asshole. How did I not see this? She’s been stressing her ass off about school, and here I thought she’s still pissed at me.
“Wait a sec. You’ve been doing assignments all this time?”
I follow Emma to her room and watch her drop the armload of books
on her bed.
“Pretty sure that’s what I just said.”
I follow her inside. This can be my chance to help her, to make things right.
“What do you mean, you have to learn to spell all over?”
“Some of your words are different to ours. So I’m back to learning another language,” she explains.
“Like what?”
She opens the book on top and scans the page. “Color. We spell it with a ‘u’ where you don’t.”
She flops down on the bed, looking miserable. “Some words you spell with a ‘z’ where we use a ‘s’. I’ve been trying to study the bloody dictionary for the past two weeks. Every time I try to set my laptop to US spelling it switches back.”
Her shoulders slump, and if it’s at all possible, I feel even more like a fucking ass.
“Didn’t I tell you to come to me if you need anythin’?” I say, feeling highly irritated with myself. I sit down next to her. “Where’s your laptop?”
“Why?” I wish we could go back to how we were. I want her to trust me again so she’ll come to me if she needs anything.
“Let me look at it so I can change your settings to US,” I explain patiently.
“Oh.” She reaches down to retrieve it from her bag. When she opens it on her lap, she says, “Let me just close these documents.”
I glance over her shoulder in time to see the words monthly expenses at the top of the page before the document disappears.
She hands me the laptop, and before I click on the settings, I read the words on her background screen.
‘Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness’ - Ibn Taymiyyah.
“Do you really believe that?”
“What?”
“This quote.” I point to the screen.
She reads the words then says, “Trusting someone just sets you up for disappointment.” Her words hit hard. I know it won’t help to tell her that she can trust me. To Emma, it’s all about actions, and over the past week, I haven’t been a good friend to her.
The Ocean Between Us (A Southern Heroes Novel Book 1) Page 11
