Love From the Ashes

by Cheryl Persons

  “It was a blast.” Kari responded with enthusiasm. “Can we go back tomorrow?”

  Rebecca turned to Thomas and he was smiling. “If you want to. I also thought I could show you a pond that I used to swim in when I was younger.” They were all nodding eagerly and she smiled to herself. She didn’t know if the tree with the rope was still there, but she figured it would be interesting to see if she had what it would take. The thought of even attempting to swing into the pond was foolish, but she was excited about the thought. “We’ll have to see how the weather is tomorrow. Hopefully it won’t be too chilly.” The fall temperatures were perfect camping weather, but she didn’t want them to have hypothermia in the water.

  “Supper is ready.” Thomas was saying, bringing her out of her thoughts. She helped the younger kids to get a plate prepared and then grabbed her plate and took it to the picnic tables that they had set up. She sat down and to her pleasant surprise; Thomas sat down next to her. She looked at him and she noticed that any reservations he once had about her being there, must have faded. “Before we eat, I would like to say grace.” She placed her hand in his and he gently squeezed it. It confirmed her suspicion that something had definitely changed. “Heavenly Father, we thank you for this beautiful night. We are blessed to have so many people that we care about in our lives. We ask for you to watch over us this weekend, keep us safe and free. Free to do the things that we have been holding back on and guide us to make us understand that we’re on the right path.” Rebecca frowned at his prayer. She began to wonder what it was that he needed guidance with. “Thank you for the food and wonderful friends that are about to share in it. We ask that you watch over the ones that weren’t able to be with us. We ask this in your name; Amen!”

  “Amen!” Rebecca whispered. It was nice that he included Scarlett and Robbie in the prayer. He didn’t need to say their names for her to fully understand what he meant. She helped Judy, who was seated on the other side of her. Thomas was helping Joey with his hotdog. She stayed away from the conversation that everyone was involved in. She just enjoyed sitting back and hearing what they had to say. Bethany and Lily were getting caught up since they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks and Kari and Allison were chatting about television shows they both watched. Thomas was right; Frankie seemed content enough with just being there. She was talking to Joey as if he was her best friend.

  She looked over at Thomas; he was staring at her and it suddenly made her feel uncomfortable. “So, are you glad you came?”

  She looked around the table and smiled. “I have to admit, I really am enjoying myself. I guess I’m glad you forced me.”

  He raised his eyes at her remark and then started to laugh. They both knew that it was kind of the truth, but she didn’t mind. “I’m glad you convinced us to come here. It’s nice spot. I would definitely come back.”

  Rebecca was hopeful that he would invite her back too. However, she didn’t want to get too involved. She needed to play things on the safe side; even if they were having the best time of their life, there was no guarantee he would want to make it a repeated adventure. “I know you said that the kids have never been camping, but how about you and Scarlett?” She surprised herself by being so forward, but he didn’t seem to mind.

  “The last time I went camping…I was probably Joey’s age.”

  “Wow! I had no idea.”

  He laughed. “Yeah; so that was…” he looked like he was thinking. “That was about 25 years ago.” He smiled. “Man I feel old.”

  “You’re not old, just mature.”

  “I see, well sometimes this mature 30 year old feels old.” They both began to laugh. “All kidding aside, I noticed that the cave seemed to take a whole new hold of your memories. I just worry that it might have been too much.”

  “Sometimes I think that I might be forgetting everything about Robbie. I don’t want to forget his memory; so, a little bit of reminiscing is good for the soul.”

  He smiled. “I concur.”

  She took a bite of her hamburger and closed her eyes to the light, cool breeze. It was true; she felt a breath of fresh air that she could remember the good times. The good times, by far, outweighed the bad; that’s what she needed to hold on to.

  ____________________

  Thomas exited the last tent and stood there watching Kari, Allison, Bethany, and Lily interacting with Rebecca. They were all around the fire and he couldn’t begin to guess who was having the better time. The kids; or Rebecca? He was betting that it was pretty even. Kari looked up and spotted him first. “Dad, you’re just in time. We were about ready to tell ghost stories.”

  He glanced at Rebecca and he saw the unsure expression on her face. “I…are you sure?”

  He laughed when Kari rolled her eyes. “We won’t be scared. We’re not babies.”

  “Oh, pardon me.” Rebecca laughed as he took the seat next to her.

  “I’m always up for a good story.”

  “Who’s going first?” Bethany asked; her smile was big enough to light a room.

  “I think that Rebecca should go first.” Thomas added; he instantly saw Rebecca’s wide-eyed expression. “After all, it was her idea to come here. She is the one that used to camp all the time. It only makes sense.”

  “Yeah; Rebecca you start.” Kari looked at Allison and they giggled.

  “I’m not much of a storyteller.”

  “Puhleese!” The group pleaded with her.

  “Okay;” she seemed reluctant, but she finally smiled. “I suppose I do know one.” She peered around the group. “A long time ago there was this man; he was a very smart and friendly man. Everyone loved going to his house and hearing stories. They never looked at him as being different, but this man was different. He was born with only one leg. He was able to learn to do everything that anyone could do, and he didn’t allow his disability to get him down. Well, when he grew up and moved out on his own he was relieved to finally be independent. Despite everyone having their concerns about his capabilities he bought a house with an upstairs. His bedroom was located just at the top of the stairs and everyone was sure he had gone nuts. They argued with him for days and he kept saying the same thing; he knew what he was doing, and he needed his independence. When he would go to bed he would take his wooden leg off, lean it up against his nightstand and then turn off the light. For days it worked and he finally felt that his life was his own. Then one morning, he woke up and the strangest thing had happened.”

  “What?” Kari asked. Her eyes were wide.

  “His leg was gone.”

  Thomas heard a collective sigh. “What did he do?” Bethany asked; her voice was a little shaky.

  “He only had one option. He called a neighbor and told him that he requested his help. The guy came over and he found his leg at the foot of the stairs. It was as if, he took it off, and put it there before going to bed. Which was unheard of because he needed it to walk; so, they decided it was a fluke. Maybe he was so tired that he forgot leaving it downstairs. Although, he knew that wasn’t the case. That night he went upstairs, put the leg by his nightstand and went to bed. The next morning, he woke up to find that it was gone…again.”

  “Oh my gosh!” Allison spoke as she reached out and grabbed Kari’s hand. “Did he figure out what was going on?”

  Rebecca slowly shook her head. “Nope; it was the strangest thing. After about 10 times of the same thing happening he chose to sell the house. He figured it was haunted and someone was telling him something. He moved in with a family member and the problem stopped. He never did find out who, or what was trying to get his attention.”

  “That is strange.” Lily spoke quietly. “I would have been freaked out.”

  The group started to laugh. “I’m sorry guys; that’s all I’ve got.” Rebecca laughed.

  “Short and sweet.” Thomas chuckled. “Which is a good thing because you kids better be getting to sleep.”

  “Aw dad;” Kari tried to argue.

  “You don�
��t want to sleep tomorrow away; do you?”

  They each shook their head and he smiled. “Dad, can Allison and I sleep in Rebecca’s tent?”

  “What?” He pretended to pout. “Is the tent big enough for all of you? Remember Frankie is already in there.”

  Rebecca looked at the girls and then turned to the tent. “I think we’ll be fine.”

  “Okay; if you insist.”

  “Yippee;” Kari spoke enthusiastically.

  “Gee thanks a lot.” He joked.

  “Sorry dad, but…”

  “I understand. Quietly sneak in and get your bags and then you can go over to the other tent.”

  Bethany stood up and they headed to the tent. “We’ll help them get ready.”

  “Thanks Bethany.” He smiled at the kids as they hurried to the tent and started to make the switch. “I am amazed every day at how attached they have gotten to you.”

  Rebecca smiled. “It goes both ways.”

  “Rebecca, are you coming?” Bethany called from outside their tent.

  “I’ll be right there.” They disappeared inside the tent and she turned back to Thomas. “I want to thank you again for this weekend.”

  “You’re welcome!” She stood up and he joined her. When they reached the tents he stopped her. She cocked her eyebrows and he swallowed hard. “Goodnight Rebecca.” He leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips.

  Chapter 14

  When they pulled away, he saw apprehension on her face. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable; that was never his intent, but he saw that that was exactly what had happened. “I…” she paused for a moment and he raced to find something to say to her.

  “Well…I...I didn’t mean to.” He looked away and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

  When the words came out he felt like a cad. That wasn’t the best thing to say after he had just succumbed to his emotions and allowed himself to lose control. “Uh…” she frowned for a moment and then shrugged. “No problem; I understand.”

  He wasn’t convinced that he believed her. “I just…we had such a good night with the kids and I really enjoy your company, but I shouldn’t have…”

  “You don’t need to explain; I think that we both just lost a little of our right minds and it’s bound to happen. However, now…we know that we have to keep ourselves emotionally in check. That can’t happen again.”

  Thomas couldn’t tell if she meant what she was saying, or if she was only saying what she thought he wanted to hear. “Right; this is why I’m sorry.”

  “No need to apologize; it just is what it is. Goodnight Thomas!” She turned away and went into her tent. He could have kicked himself for putting her in that situation, but he couldn’t take it back. He got in his tent, where Judy and Joey were still asleep. As he got himself ready for bed he realized even what a bigger jerk he was. He had just apologized to a woman that he had kissed. He was sure that made her all warm and fuzzy inside. It was bad enough that he was punishing himself for kissing her; it was worse knowing that he made Rebecca feel like she was nothing. It wasn’t true. While the kiss wasn’t exactly planned, he couldn’t fight the fact that it was nice. He enjoyed kissing her despite every part of him telling him that it was wrong.

  He needed to talk to her; even if it was just to apologize for apologizing. He laughed to himself; that was going to be some conversation. Look Rebecca; I am so sorry that I apologized to you. I really didn’t mean it. He groaned as he zipped his sleeping bag up. There was really no way around it; he had to make her see that he wasn’t the complete jerk that he was looking like. Even though he knew that that was easier said than done; it was the chance we was just going to have to take.

  ___________________

  Rebecca slipped into her lounge pants and looked over to where the girls were sound asleep. She wished her life was as simple as a young child’s. She would give anything to go back into that time. When Thomas apologized for the kiss she was left heartbroken. It was one thing for him to just say he wasn’t ready, but maybe someday he could get there. It was quite another to know that he absolutely didn’t feel anything for her. He didn’t even show any signs that the kiss meant anything to him; she saw a disappointed a face and the words I’m sorry coming from his mouth. It made her completely begin to lose hope in the male species. She couldn’t help but wonder how you could go from a happy, seemingly perfect, day to I can’t believe we just kissed; ugh. She could feel the tears starting to well up in her eyes and she took a deep breath, hoping that they would suddenly go away. However, that wasn’t in the cards for her and she kneeled down in the tent and started to cry. When she heard a soft sob escape her lips she hurried and looked over at the children; she didn’t want to have to explain what was going on. It wasn’t fair; she wanted a family and a husband that would love her. It was hopelessly obvious that she wasn’t about to get either. “What’s wrong?”

  She looked up and saw Bethany standing next to her. “What…oh nothing.” She wiped away a tear from her face and stood up.

  “Rebecca, you can’t be crying and then tell me it’s for no reason. I’m not a kid; I know when someone’s upset.”

  Rebecca smiled. “You’re right.” She brushed the hair away from Bethany’s eyes and then looked back at the other sleeping bodies. “I thought you were asleep.”

  “I’m too excited to sleep. I closed my eyes, but it just didn’t happen.”

  “We can’t really talk, because we might wake the others.” Rebecca hoped that that would stop all conversation right there. She watched as Bethany slipped on some sandals and then grabbed her hand. Before she could argue they were outside in the cool air. “What are you doing?”

  Bethany laughed. “Come on!” She followed her around to the backside of the tents and they walked to a tree that was near the lake.

  “Bethany I’m supposed to be watching over you; it’s late and I doubt that your dad would appreciate knowing that I have you out here.”

  “It’s fine!” Bethany looked out into the water and smiled. “When I needed to talk to my mom and everyone was asleep, we would go outside in the backyard and sit beneath a big oak tree. I miss that.”

  Rebecca sighed as she moved closer to the girl, way beyond her years. “Sorry Bethany; I was extremely close with my mom too. That is, until they moved.”

  Bethany turned to her and she saw a tear in her eye. “Sometimes I forget her and that scares me.”

  Rebecca pulled her into a hug and they held the embrace for a few minutes. “If you ever want to talk about her, or anything else you can do that with me.”

  Bethany nodded as they pulled away. “Thank you Rebecca, but you’re the one that I’m supposed be helping.”

  Rebecca stared at her; seeing her serious expression made her want to laugh, but she contained herself. “You are 12 years old and the last thing I want to do is burden you with my problems.”

  “I want you to.” She then scrunched her nose and they both laughed. “Okay; that wasn’t exactly how I meant it. I want you to feel that you can talk to me; just like I can talk to you.”

  There was so much that Rebecca knew she couldn’t tell Bethany. She couldn’t tell her that she feared she was falling in love with her father; she couldn’t tell her that he had kissed her that evening. She couldn’t explain to her what she was feeling when he kissed her; even though it was short, it still felt real. She could tell that Bethany wasn’t going to let her off easy and there was only one thing she could do. “I suppose that I was just feeling sorry for myself. I forgot what it was like to have a family. Being here with all of you, it reminds me how much I miss them.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the reason she was crying.

  Bethany smiled. “You won’t have to forget what it’s like to be with a family anymore.”

  “Oh; is that so?”

  Bethany laughed and shook her head. “Of course not; you’ll always have a family as long as we’re around.”

  Rebecca appreciated hearing tha
t, but it wasn’t logical. They weren’t her family and clearly, from Thomas’ actions, they never would be. “I appreciate you saying that, but…”

  “What’s going on out here?” She turned around and she saw Thomas standing a few feet away. She worried that he was angry, but then a smile fell on his lips. “Can anyone join this party?” Rebecca stared at him; they were busted.

  ____________________

  Thomas looked at Rebecca and then his daughter Bethany. He didn’t know why they were there, but it reminded him of all those times he saw Scarlett and Bethany outside with each other. “Thomas…” Rebecca began, but then her voice faltered.

  “Bethany, I think that it’s time that you should say goodnight…again.”

  She laughed as she approached him. When they were next to each other she motioned for him to lean down. “Go easy on her dad.” She whispered. “She was crying.”

  He looked at Bethany and smiled. “Thanks for the tip.” She hurried past him and he turned back to Rebecca. She was facing the lake when he reached her. “It’s a beautiful night.”

  “Yeah; the perfect night for camping.”

  “Can we talk?”

  “I’m not stopping you.” She mumbled, but never turned to face him.

  “Right!” She wasn’t making it easy on him, but he didn’t blame her. “I would like to discuss the kiss.” She didn’t make a sound to stop him or encourage him, so he continued. “I’m sorry that I apologized.”

  She laughed and then faced him. “Okay; go on.”

  “I didn’t mean it!” His words were direct, but a bit lacking in compassion.

  “You didn’t mean to kiss me? Don’t worry; that was blatantly obvious.”

  He was confused by that retort. He meant that he didn’t mean the apology, but now he wondered if she was disappointed that the kiss wasn’t real. “Um…I mean the apology, I didn’t mean to apologize.”