by Lori Saltis
“I collected a whole bunch of bottles and cans around the Nest,” adds Kai, not looking up from the screen.
“Good. I’ll take them to the recycler.” She sighs. “You’ve all been so wonderful.”
The kettle whistles. While Penny pours the boiling water into the teapot, I get the cups and place them on the table. Bridie tears open a package of McVities Digestive Biscuits and puts four on a plate. I don’t know why they’re called digestive biscuits, since they look like chocolate cookies. They were made in England and apparently cost more than regular cookies. What I do know is that the Sparrows always have tea before dinner, and from what Penny told me, it used to involve a lot more food.
Bridie’s work-reddened hands wrap around her cup and she sighs before taking a sip. Penny reaches into her pocket and pulls out the two twenty dollar bills we’d earned. Bridie takes the money and puts it in her purse without a word. Then she closes her eyes and breathes in her tea.
Penny leans forward. “How are we doing?”
Her mother’s eyes remain closed. “Let me worry about that.”
“Will we have enough to pay the deposit and the rent?”
“Too early to tell.”
Kai gobbles his biscuit and stares longingly at the other three.
“I’m not that hungry.” Penny picks up hers and hands it to him.
“Me, neither.” I reach for my biscuit, break it in two and give the other half to Penny. Her smile makes my half taste all the sweeter.
Bridie sniffles. A tear runs down her cheek. She wipes it away with the back of her hand. Kai rubs his nose. Penny sucks in her breath. I stare into the depths of my tea. If only I had access to my parents’ bank account. I could make the Sparrows’ troubles go away. Maybe if I ask Auntie Cat. She’d do it, I know she would, but if Head Elder found out, he’d ream her. And he’d find out about the Sparrows. I don’t want him knowing about them. He’ll give them shit for helping me and might even retaliate against Matthew’s family. Might. Ha. Will. It’s not fair. It’s my money now. Mom and Dad would want me to help the Sparrows.
Guilt squeezes my chest. I still have cash from robbing tricks. When Tony catches up with me, I have to be ready to run, and I need money for that. To be fair, I’ve been working odd jobs around the Nest and giving everything I earn to Bridie, but is that enough to pay my obligation to the Sparrows? Not even close. There has to be something else I can do.
Outside, a horn blares three times. We exchange wary glances. Bridie wipes her cheeks and brushes back her hair before she stands. “Let’s go outside. I don’t want him in here.” She picks up her purse as she heads for the door.
Kingfisher leans against the hood of his black SUV. Some teenage kid stands beside him, tall and skinny, wearing a teal tracksuit and looking like an utter tool.
“Evening,” Kingfisher calls out. For a second, I want to be the Dragon Son, so I can wipe the smug look off his face.
“Good evening.” Bridie smiles brightly. “You brought your son. How nice.”
“Mikey Boy’s come from his boxing lesson. He’ll be competing for the Silver Gloves this year. Coach says he’s one of the toughest contenders he’s ever seen.”
Mikey Boy doesn’t seem to be listening to his father’s praises. He stares at Penny in this weird way, like he’s checking her out, but not sure he likes what he sees. That’s fine. I don’t want him to like her. He probably prefers girls who giggle around him like he’s hot shit, something Penny will never do.
“You ever do any boxing, boy?” Kingfisher asks me. I shake my head. “Too bad. You and Mikey could go a few rounds. See who’s the better man.” I shrug like I have no fucks to give. Kingfisher turns to Kai. “You had boxing lessons, right, boy?”
Kai lifts his chin. “Course. My Uncle Owen is one of the top bare knuckle fighters in Ireland.”
“Good lad. Maybe Mikey Boy can teach you some moves.” He turns to Bridie. “Boy needs a father.”
Bridie’s smile becomes strained.
After a moment of silence, Kingfisher clears his throat. “You know why I’m here. You said you’d have the deposit today.”
“Of course.” Bridie opens her purse. As she counts out the money, I realize it’s all she has, except for a couple of dollars and some change.
Kingfisher shoves the cash into his pocket without counting. “Rent’s due at the end of the week. I’ll prorate it for how many days you’ve been here. Should come to $600, not including water and electricity. I’ll connect you to the Wi-Fi for an extra $30 a month.”
Bridie nods. Kai looks down. Penny’s face drains of expression. My chest tightens.
“There’s a party tomorrow night. Adults at the fire pit. Lots of food and drinks. The kids will have their own party at the Wren trailer. Pizza and pop, of course. Attendance ain’t optional.”
Bridie takes a deep breath. “Do you want us to perform?”
Kingfisher grins. “You and I can discuss your performance later.” He motions with his thumb. “Get in the car, boy.”
Mikey Boy spares a final glare at Penny before climbing into the SUV.
As soon as the car backs away, Penny swivels around to face her mother. “We’ve got to get out of here right now.”
Bridie replies in a dull voice. “We can’t. There’s no money, the car’s almost out of gas and I don’t have any more cleaning jobs lined up until the weekend.” She gives her head a little shake and her tone becomes firmer. “Besides, I don’t know what you – or he – thinks is going to happen tomorrow. We’ll go to the party, get some free food, and get on with our lives. I’ll find a way to get enough money to pay the rent. I… I just need some time to think.” She takes a shaky breath. “I’m going to start dinner.” She goes into the trailer and closes the door behind her.
Penny leans against the metal siding, her arms folded tight. “There’s no way she, or we, can earn that much money by Friday.”
I lean beside her, my hands crammed into my pockets. If I can find a way to sneak back to the city, maybe into the Tenderloin or another bad area, I can try turning tricks again. All I have to do is avoid Payroll, and the Beggar Clan, and Tony, and the Two Dragon Clan. I bite my lip to keep from saying, “Shit.”
“This is bullshit,” Kai announces. “I’m gonna find a way to contact my grandparents.” He stalks off down the gravel road.
Penny’s arms rise and fall with her chest. “His grandparents hate our mother. They might offer to help him and maybe me, but they won’t help Bridie.” Her family’s starting to sound almost as bad as mine. Except the grandparents probably don’t want to kill Bridie, but what do I know? Her eyes shine, but tears don’t fall. “She’s going to sell herself to him.”
“What? No. She just said…”
“I know her. She’ll talk herself into it, the same way she talked herself into marrying Bill, only this is so much worse. I can’t let her do it. I have to stop her. Somehow.” She shakes her head. “I don’t how.”
“I’ll help.”
“You’ve already done so much.” She gives a humorless laugh. “You’re probably sorry you took up with us.”
I tip my head back, resting it against the cold metal siding. Red clouds fill the darkening sky. “Living on the street, you lose your way. One day feels like the next and every day feels like a waste. Being with you, with your family, I feel like there’s some point to my life again.”
Penny leans her shoulder against mine. “Too bad we’re facing east. It’d be nice to see the sunset.”
I nod.
“There’s a point to your life, Lennon. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”
“You really believe that?”
“I do.”
“You believe in God?”
“Of course.” She pauses. “Don’t you?”
“Not anymore.” I try sounding casual, but my words come out as bitter as I feel. Penny’s shoulder moves with her sigh. I can tell she wants to ask me what happened. I don’t want to tell her that when I say God, I’m actua
lly thinking about an imaginary dragon.
We walk to the shore without saying much. Penny throws rocks into the water with a soundless fury. I feel like a real shit, holding onto my cash. If we can’t figure out something else by tomorrow morning, I’m giving it all to Bridie.
Eventually, Kai joins us, his hands shoved in his pockets. He stares at the water lapping the shore as he speaks. “I went to the playground and asked one of the kids if I could use his phone to email my grandparents. He was about to give it to me when his mom told him no. Then I asked another kid and her mom said no, too. They looked at me all funny. I think Kingfisher told people not to help us.”
Penny snorts. “What a surprise.”
He turns to face her. “Should I tell Mum?”
“Don’t bother. She’ll say it’s your imagination. She doesn’t want to face reality.”
“There’s gotta be a way to get online. Next time Mum drives somewhere, I’ll go with her. See if I can get on someone’s Wi-Fi.”
“Good idea.” She smiles and pats his arm, but when he faces the water again, her smile evaporates.
At least giving them the money won’t make me feel so goddam useless. If Tony shows and I’ve got to run, so be it. I can start again with nothing. Go back to being a thief and try not to think about how much that shames my parents.
We head back to the trailer. Penny helps her mother make dinner while Kai and I wash the dishes and set the table. It’s a routine we’ve settled into. Sometimes I help peel and chop vegetables as well, though the food they eat is a mystery to me. Tonight it’s something called ‘bubble and squeak’, which involves sausage, onions and leftover mashed potatoes. Actually, most of what they eat involves potatoes. Mom’s attempts at cooking potatoes had never turned out so good. Bridie’s potatoes, though, are tasty. Would Mom have liked Bridie? I have a feeling Mom wants to thank her for taking care of me. It makes my throat hurt. When we sit down to eat, I make sure to tell her how good everything is. Bridie smiles, but tension soon clouds her eyes once again. She barely eats and carefully scrapes everything on her plate into a container. Then she heads into the bedroom and closes the door. Kai retreats with his phone into the cabover, leaving Penny and me to flip through the few TV stations available with the trailer’s antenna. A strong wind picks up, making reception bad except on one channel with nothing worth watching, so Penny goes to bed.
I turn off the lights and stare out the window, even though there’s nothing much to see. There’s no point in tossing and turning in the cabover. I haven’t slept in two days. Insomnia is turning me into a zombie. I can’t think straight. Thoughts and images scramble through my mind. Was running away really my best and only option? Sure, it kept me out of the clutches of Head Elder, but I’m no closer to gathering the evidence I need to accuse him, and my aunt and uncle, of murder. Do I really have to wait until I’m eighteen? What else can I do? No one will listen to me while I’m a powerless kid.
Outside, the wind howls and shakes the trailer as if trying to keep me awake. I stand and stretch, rubbing my neck, sore from tension. The trailer’s walls are closing in around me and I feel like I want to jump out of my skin. I grab my coat, open the door a crack and hold it tight against the wind as I slip outside.
Cold gusts slap my face, clearing some of the fuzz from my brain. Dark storm clouds gather overhead. Good. I’m tired of beating myself up. Let the weather do it instead. I walk against the wind, past the trailers and through the wooded area to the little beach on the point. I perch on a thick log of bleached driftwood and stare at the dark sky above the choppy waters of the Bay. In the distance, I can see the blinking lights of planes taking off from San Francisco International Airport. Bet they’re in for some turbulence.
A thick drop of rain splatters on top of my head. I pull up my hood. More thick drops fall, not enough to wet the ground before they stopped. Thunder rumbles in the distance. The possibility of lightening stirs my heart. If only Penny was here to watch it with me. If only we can talk. Maybe she could help me figure out what to do. Or maybe I could just lay my head in her lap and feel her fingers stroking my hair. Then I could sleep. I close my eyes. Sharp, sweet feelings move through my body, feelings forbidden toward someone from another clan. Such stupid shit. Why should I care? I like Penny. Maybe I even…
I suck in my breath. No, I can’t love her. It’s the wrong place, the wrong time – everything wrong. And yet, when I’m not thinking about my parents, I’m thinking about how to protect her and her family.
“What should I do?” My whisper comes out as a sigh.
Do as you should.
I almost fall off the log.
Jade Dragon?
No, it can’t be. He doesn’t exist. Yet the whisper echoes through my mind. I give a tight shrug. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
You run, hide, cry. You don’t act.
“Bullshit!” I snort. Okay, not Jade Dragon. It’s my conscious bothering me. “What else am I supposed to do? I don’t have any power. If they get me, they’ll use me. Besides, not having me pisses them off, and I like pissing them off.”
You have power. You don’t use it.
I sigh. Maybe I should pretend it is Jade Dragon, just to get things off my chest. You have power. You could have warned me. You could have warned Dad. Instead you let him and Mom die. Why should I listen to you?
I warned you and your father. Kill the traitor. You didn’t listen.
Pain spreads across my chest. I jump to my feet and shake my fist. You ordered me to kill my grandfather. You think that’s easy?
Thunder rumbles, much closer than before. Power is never easy.
Maybe I don’t want power.
You will never have vengeance.
My chest now burns. I grit my teeth. Why did my aunt and uncle kill my parents?
Jade Dragon exhales. Steam blows from his nostrils. I am not omnipotent. I cannot read minds. I know what I know and see what I see. I did not see who killed your parents.
I saw my aunt kill my mother.
Will you kill her?
No. I can’t. It’s different than it was 500 years ago. Don’t you get that? I need to prove they did it - that my grandfather ordered them to do it.
Did he?
Did he? Of course he did. Why else would they do it?
I don’t know. Do you?
No. That’s the problem. I don’t have any power. I can’t get justice.
Jade Dragon whips his tail. Shards of lightening light up the clouds. Justice requires power. Power without wisdom is useless and you are not wise.
My heart pounds with the ensuing thunder. Then what should I do?
Pay your obligation to the girl and return to your family.
No. I’m not going back to them. Weren’t you listening? I don’t have any power.
You have power. You fear it and will not use it.
Not anymore. I don’t fear it. I want to use it.
Then do so.
A jagged bolt of lightning shoots down from the sky and strikes the beach. Electric heat thrums through my body. Power. I have power. I can do it. Thrusting my left hand toward a pile of driftwood across the beach, I breathe out the word, “Kaah.”
Splinters fly as the wood breaks into pieces, scattering across the beach and into the water.
I suck in a gasp. The thrum of power dissolves, but doesn’t leave me. I feel a weird mixture of weariness and exaltation. Gratitude fills me. Jade Dragon is real. He’s going to help me after all.
A steady rain begins to fall. I lift my face so it cools my skin. I reach out to my ancestor. Jade Dragon is already distant. No longer over the bay, he soars toward the Pacific Ocean.
Wait. Don’t go. I need you. You have to help me destroy them.
A sense of vague regret accompanies Jade Dragon’s words. The time of dragons is passed. We are few, always few, and now even less. The weapons of man can destroy us. Sky and water is where we belong. The choice was made. You are the Dragon Son. Use your po
wer with wisdom, my hatchling.
What do you mean choice? What choice?
Silence. Jade Dragon was gone.
The rain mingles with tears falling down my cheeks. I wipe both away. No more tears. No more sorrow. I have power and I’m going to use it.
A piece of paper blows against my ankle. I start to shake it off when I realize it’s an envelope. It’s damp and dirty, but that doesn’t matter. I got the message. It’s time to pay.
Chapter 25
Penny
Bridie pads around the bedroom, muttering, like she does when she’s stressed out. She comes around to my side of the bed. Cold, gentle fingers sweep a lock of hair off my forehead and caress my cheek. My throat tightens, but I don’t stir.
She closes the bedroom door with a soft click. After a few moments, the shower starts running. I sit up and rub my burning eyes. The storm woke me up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t get back to sleep. “Oh, Bridie,” I breathe out. How do you save someone from herself?
I open the drawer of my nightstand and take out the photo of Gerry and Matthew. Their eyes, which had once looked mischievous, now seem sharp and serious. Their voices whisper, “You’re strong, Penny. You can do it.”
“What can I do? I’m only sixteen.”
Silence.
I shake my head. There are no voices. They left me alone to take care of the woman they loved. It’s up to me to save the day, for their sakes.
Right?
I pinch the photo tight enough to bend the corner. They made the choice to do something with fatal consequences, despite having had a wife and children who relied on them. They knew what Bridie was like and they went ahead and did it anyway. Did they really expect me to pick up the pieces?
Well, fuck them.
I drop the photo because if I don’t, I’ll wad it up and throw it across the room.
Wow.
Where did that come from? All this rage. I’ve kept it bottled up. I mean, I know it’s been there, but I didn’t realize how much is directed at Gerry and Matthew. I want to scream at the photo, “How could you do this to me?” even though I know. They were cocky rogues who thought they’d live forever. And I love them. I always will. But I can’t do anything for them, not anymore. Whatever I do is for myself, and Bridie and Kai.
