by Lori Saltis
As soon as the shower stops, I hurry out so I can be first in line for the bathroom. The cabover curtain is closed, so the boys must still be asleep or playing possum so they don’t have to get up and help with breakfast. Bridie opens the door, smiles and pats my cheek as we slide past each other.
Fifteen minutes later, when I step out of the bathroom, she’s glaring daggers at me. “What is this?” She thrusts out a dirty envelope.
“Mum.” I press my finger to my lips and nod toward the cabover.
Bridie lowers her voice to a harsh whisper. “What is this?”
“I don’t know.” I sit at the kitchen table and draw my knees to my chest. “Mail?”
“Don’t be smart with me, madam.”
“I’m not being smart. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kai pushes open the cabover curtains and yawns as he sticks his legs over the edge. He gives Bridie a bleary stare.
“What is this?” She waves the envelope at him.
Kai tries to grab the envelope and Bridie clutches it to her chest. He exchanges puzzled glances with me. “I dunno. What is it?”
“Money,” Bridie spits out the word.
“Oh-kay.” He slides down the ladder and sits across the table from me.
Her hands go to her hips. “Did you children go around the Nest, telling everyone we’re skint?”
I roll my eyes. “Of course not. You think we don’t know better than that?”
“Then where did this come from?”
“I don’t know. Where’d you find it?”
“Someone shoved it through the mail slot during the night. No names, no note. Just money.”
“Is there a lot of money?”
“It doesn’t matter if there is. We’re not going to spend it.”
Lennon rolls into view, still tangled in his blanket. He rubs his eyes and asks, “What’s wrong?”
Bridie holds out the envelope. “What do you know about this?”
He blinks and shakes his head.
She huffs. “As soon as I find out who put it there, I’m giving it back. Don’t try to talk me out of it. And if I find out that any of you have been begging…” Her voice trailed off as her expression became less certain. “Well, I’ll be cross, but I’ll forgive you.” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “Enough of that. Let’s make breakfast.”
Lennon avoids eye contact with me as he heads to the bathroom. Interesting. Suspicious, even.
There’s almost no talk as we go about our morning routine. Bridie stands at the stove in grim silence as she makes porridge. How’s that going to taste when we can’t afford milk and sugar anymore? And what about when we can’t even afford oatmeal? I feel that rage rise up inside me. Bridie won’t accept a bit of anonymous charity, but she will throw herself at the mercy of Kingfisher. If that’s how she wants to live her life, whatever, but doesn’t she realize that Kai and I are being dragged along?
We sit down to eat. The porridge goes down thick and forms a lump in my stomach. I push aside my bowl. “About the party tonight, I don’t want to go. I’m going to stay here.”
Kai pipes up, “Yeah, me neither. Me, too.”
Lennon has gone owlish, peering solemnly at each of us from behind his glasses. He shifts in his seat before adding, “I guess I’ll stay, too.”
Bridie’s grim expression doesn’t change. “We are all going and that’s final. We can’t refuse Kingfisher’s invitation, especially when we’re living in his caravan.” She stands and grabs my bowl along with her half-eaten porridge. “Outside. All of you. I need to straighten things up around here.”
She turns her back to us while we file out. Her tense shoulders start to shake and her hand goes to her mouth. She starts sobbing as I shut the door. The sound breaks my heart, but barely takes the edge off my anger.
The boys trail after me as I head down the road toward the main part of the Nest. The ground is still wet. Not that we have much access to weather reports, but that storm came out of nowhere and seemed to leave just as suddenly. Too bad it hadn’t stuck around and ruined Kingfisher’s party plans.
Kai runs ahead and stomps on a puddle, sending a spray of mud everywhere. “Where do you think that money came from?”
“Gee, I wonder.” I stop and turn so I block Lennon’s path. Sunlight darkens his lens and I can’t see his eyes. My hands go to my hips. “Any ideas?”
He shakes his head while looking down. I roll my eyes. He’s a terrible liar. Then he speaks in a hesitant tone. “Um, why was your mom so mad?”
“Remember what I told you? She hates accepting help, but keeps putting herself in a position of being helpless. Getting money like that only made things worse. Now she’s got to find a way to empower herself and she’s going to convince herself the only way to do that is to become Kingfisher’s convenience.”
Kai stomps the puddle again, harder, splashing everything around us, including our clothes.
I spare him a glare. “Cut it out.”
He stomps yet again, softer, so I let it pass.
Lennon looks up, solemn as an owl. “If I told her that envelope came from me, would that stop her?”
I shake my head. “Nope. She’ll give it back to you.”
“But I gave her the money I earned around here.”
“That’s different. Giving her twenty bucks here and there means you’re helping out. Giving her a big lump sum means you don’t think she can provide for us.”
“She can’t.”
“That doesn’t matter. She can’t accept your money like that, especially if it’s all you have. Is it?”
He nods.
Now we were getting somewhere. “How much was in the envelope?”
“Two hundred seventy-nine dollars.”
Kai’s mouth pops open. “Dude, where’d you get that much money?”
Lennon shrugs. For a moment I don’t think he’s going to answer. He toes at the mud. “I was sort of a hooker.”
Kai’s mouth becomes a gaping hole.
No. I can’t have heard that right. “A… a what?”
“A hooker. You know, a prostitute, except I didn’t do any of the prostitute stuff. I posed as one and when I’d get some place private with the guy, I’d rob him before anything happened.”
My lips flap without sound. Kai seems frozen in place, his feet stuck in the puddle. Quiet, heroic Lennon is a tag-rag, a thief. He crams his hands into his pockets and stalks down the road. Kai and I exchange glances before taking off after him. We catch up and stride along on either side of him. Grim-faced, he ignores us.
I grab hold of his arm. He’s surprisingly muscular for someone so skinny. “Hey. You forgot something.”
“Yeah, what?” At least he doesn’t shake me off.
“Our dads were wide boys who shammed Bleaters. Not much different than what you did.”
“I guess.” His pace slows. “I was only trying to survive.”
“We all do what we have to.” I want to loop my arm through his so we can walk close together, but not with Kai there. My hand slides away. Did his fingers almost reach out for mine?
“Wide boys are the best,” says Kai. “They’re Sharpers who know what’s what and how to survive on the street.”
Lennon gives one of his fatal almost-smiles. “So, I’m a wide boy?”
I ignore my heart flip. “I’d say so.”
He nods and some of the gloom falls off him.
“Okay, then, back to business. We need to cock up Kingfisher’s plans. I figure they’ll go to our caravan or his. Wherever they go, we’ll walk in and stop them before, you know, it happens.”
“Gross,” Kai mutters.
“Kingfisher’s gonna go ballistic,” says Lennon
“Good. I want him vexed enough to kick us out. Then Bridie will be forced to use your money so we can go somewhere else.”
Lennon rubs his chin like a proper wide boy, considering the next move in the game. “That could work. We better case his place and see
how to get in.”
Kai picks up his pace. “I know where Kingfisher lives.”
Everyone knows where Kingfisher lives, but I don’t bother saying so. We follow him up a row of caravans and around the fire pit until we reach tree-shaded lot that contains a manufactured house with faded, pitted metal walls showing the wear and tear of bayside living. On the right side of the door is a small garden of carefully tended potted plants. To the left stretches a chest-high, chain link fence, divided into four separate kennels, each containing a dilapidated doghouse. Only one of the kennels contains a dog, a weary-looking Pit Bull with a stitched ear. It’s common cackle that Kingfisher is part of a dogfighting ring. My stomach twists. How can Bridie even think of shagging someone like him?
As we get closer, the dog looks up, but doesn’t have the energy or the desire for guard duty. Poor thing. Used and abused by that evil bastard. I’m halfway to opening the gate and letting it out, until I see the padlock. See our future if we don’t stop Bridie. I might not be able to save the dog, but I will save us.
We duck behind the black SUV. A shrill woman’s voice can be heard through the open kitchen window. “This is my home. You think I’m going to let that trull and her pack of brats move in here?”
Kingfisher’s voice rises over hers. “This ain’t your home. You ain’t my wife.”
“I’m the mother of your children.”
“Don’t matter. We ain’t married. This is my Nest. You want to stay? You play by my rules. You cook, clean, mind the kids. I’m moving her trailer next door and I’ll go there as I please.”
“You can’t walk all over me like that. I’m leaving.”
“Fine by me.”
“I’m taking the girls.”
“No, you ain’t. You want to leave, go. The girls stay. That’s final.”
“You go through with this, you’ll be sorry. I’ll make you sorry.”
“How you going to do that?”
Doreen’s answer is a choked sob. Then her voice regains strength. “I’m not going to that party and pretend I’m having a good time while you replace me. I’m staying here.”
“Suit yourself.”
We creep away. My chest aches. Poor Doreen. No wonder she’s so bitter and this place is so messed up. Kingfisher wants to rule the roost. He doesn’t want to share his power with a Mother Bird. I wish Bridie had been there. Does she think Kingfisher will treat her any differently? “Okay, we know they won’t be going back to Kingfisher’s house. That makes things a little easier. Let’s check out the Wren place.”
We make our way to a huge caravan parked at the edge of the woods. Two smaller caravans across the road block the view of the common area and the fire pit. We won’t be able to keep an eye on Bridie from here. I motion the boys to follow me between the two caravans and across the grass to the playground, where we climb on the swings. Nearby, a group of women sit on the benches and watch their children romp around a huge, colorful plastic structure with tubes, climbing walls and slides.
“One of us could hide over there and have a good view of the fire pit,” suggests Lennon.
He’s right. As long as it’s dark, it’ll be easy to hide while still having a view of the party. “Except it might be noticed if one of us is missing from the party.”
“We can take turns.”
“Yeah, that could work. As long as no one is gone for too long.” It’s great having someone to bounce ideas off of, instead of just Kai, who’s swinging back and forth, going higher with each swing. “Cut it out. We need to talk.”
Kai’s legs gallop beneath him as he hit the ground, slowing his momentum to a hover. “Yeah?”
“Here’s what we’re going to do. Lennon and I will take turns hiding in the playground and spying on Bridie and Kingfisher. We’ll trade places in short intervals, like twenty minutes, so no one is gone for too long. You keep track of time on your phone and cover for us when we’re out trading places.”
Kai pouts. “Why can’t I spy on Bridie?”
“I just told you. We need you to keep track of time and cover for us. Besides, the only way we have to tell time is your phone. You want one of us holding onto it?”
“No way.”
“All right then.” I breathe out a little sigh, hoping he doesn’t point out later that I can charge and use my own phone. The truth is I don’t want him skulking around the playground, where anyone can wander by. He’s not quite the wide boy he wants to be yet. I turn to Lennon. “Sound like a plan?”
He nods and a smile whisks across his face. “I like the way you think.”
I duck my head so he won’t see me blush. “Let’s get back to our place. Bridie must be wondering where we are.”
Back at the caravan, Bridie’s car is gone. Kai runs to her parking space and kicks the gravel. “What the hell? I told her I want to go with her if she goes to the store.”
Inside, there’s no note. She never leaves without a note. What game is she playing? By the time I’ve worked up to a proper fret, her car comes rolling down the road. I try calming enough to seem uninterested, but as soon as she steps inside, I can’t stop myself from saying, “Where were you?”
She holds up a bag and says in a breathless voice, “Lily told me there’s a half-price sale on cold meats at Safeway and I wanted to get there before they run out.”
Like that’s going to happen.
Bridie places a couple of plastic packages in the fridge and heads for the bedroom, clutching her purse. Kai whines after her, complaining she was supposed to take him with. She shoos him away and closes the door. I stare after her, my arms folded.
“What’s wrong,” whispers Lennon.
I shake my head because I don’t know. Maybe nothing.
Moments later, Bridie emerges. “What?”
“Oh,” I do my best to look innocent. “I was just going to say, Lennon and I will make lunch.”
Her tense frown becomes a weary smile as she sinks into a chair. “That would be very nice.”
We dole out a single slice of meat and cheese per sandwich. Both taste like wax and I struggle to finish, even though I know there’s nothing more to eat until dinner. While Kai does the dishes, I announce I have a headache and need to lie down.
Bridie’s eyes go shifty as she takes a quick glance at the bedroom, but she doesn’t say anything when I head down the hall. Inside, I close the door and creep around the room. Bridie usually keeps her purse on the shelf above the kitchen table. Maybe she wants to keep Lennon’s money away from us. I hope that’s what it is. I find it under her nightstand. Guilt flutters my chest as I poke inside. The envelope is there along with her wallet, phone, hairbrush, the usual. So everything’s plummy, right? I want to believe that, so bad, but I can’t shake the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Licking my dry lips, I slide open the nightstand drawer.
The box of condoms inside turns the pit into a chasm.
I slide the door closed before dissolving onto the bed in a puddle of tears and snot. My hand covers my sobs and I gasp for air between my fingers. I didn’t cry when I first heard Gerry and Matthew had been killed, because I didn’t believe it. My tears fell in an airplane loo somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean, when I had to accept they weren’t coming back because they wouldn’t have abandoned us to this fate.
After a while, I sit up and wipe away the gunk from my eyes and nose. Then I open the bedroom door. Bridie and Kai sit at the table, watching an episode of Friends. Or rather, Kai watches. Bridie stares out the window with a distracted expression.
I drink some water to clear my throat before asking, “Where’s Lennon?”
Bridie blinks several times as she turns her head. “How’s your headache, darling?”
The words grate on my nerves. I grit my teeth before managing to answer nicely. “Better. So where’s Lennon?”
“He went out for some fresh air.”
For a moment, I imagine going back into the bedroom, grabbing the condoms and throwing them in her face. Inst
ead, I head out the door. Where has Lennon gone? Where else but the beach? I stride down the gravel road and weave through the woods. A loud noise stops me in my tracks. It sounds like wood cracking and breaking, but how can that be? I hurry through the woods and out to the beach.
Lennon stands close to the shore, holding out his hand and facing a pile of shattered driftwood.
“What are you doing?”
His arm drops as he spins around. His mouth gapes open before he says, “What?”
“What are you doing?”
“Um. Looking at the storm damage.”
“Oh.” The driftwood looks like it had been struck by lightning, but what was that noise? And why had he been holding out his hand? “Were you doing something?”
His face reddens. “Stomping on stuff.”
I almost smile. Lennon seems so mature most of the time. It’s easy to forget he’s still a boy. Maybe he was venting some frustration. I wish he’d asked me to join him. I’d love to stomp on something right now.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“No.” I wait until he stands next to me, but then I can’t look at him. Instead, I stare at the water. “Part of me wanted to believe Bridie, that she really wasn’t going to lie down and become Kingfisher’s convenience, but I found proof.”
“What kind of proof?” Lennon’s tone is cautious.
I shake my head.
“Sorry.”
I shrug. “It doesn’t change anything. Maybe she doesn’t want to save herself, but she’s not going to drag me and Kai, and you down with her.”
Lennon digs the tip of his shoe into the sand. “It’s not that easy to make the right decision. I’ve made some pretty lousy ones.”
“What do you mean?” I can face him now, but he looks away over the water. “You mean, like, when you were pretending to be a hooker and robbing people?”
“Yeah, that, and other stuff.” He shakes his head. “I’m not wise.”
“You’re fifteen. Are you supposed to be wise?”
He takes off his glasses and wipes his face before turning to me. Those gorgeous brown eyes, so seldom seen, quicken my heart. “I’m gonna be sixteen next week.”
