Living it Arg

by James Argent

  Our mobile phones went into meltdown the moment the show went on air, as people we knew recognised us and began to send us texts and emails. Facebook and Twitter also went into a frenzy – but, unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons. People were going onto social media sites to slate the show. There were hundreds of tweets and posts branding TOWIE embarrassing rubbish.

  ‘What is this shite?’ they were asking.

  People were saying that the show was awful and cringeworthy, with some viewers claiming it was the worst thing they had ever seen on TV. Even the reaction of my friends and family was mixed to begin with. I received a text from Lydia’s mum Debbie asking what the hell the show was all about and why was I on it.

  I was worried that I’d never be able to show my face in public again, but thankfully it was just a storm in a teacup. The producers could see through it all and they weren’t concerned, because they knew they had created something that was going to be a huge success. I think a lot of the negative criticism on Twitter came from people in the area who didn’t like our group of friends, and they were probably a bit jealous of seeing us on the box. Regardless of what people said on social media, my life was about to change overnight.

  I started being recognised in the street the very next day. I’d spent the night of the broadcast at Mark’s flat in Abridge and I got a cab back home the next morning. After all the excitement I decided to go for a quiet walk around Woodford Green to get some peace and fresh air. As I walked along I was amazed when a couple of cars beeped at me they went by. Someone even shouted, ‘All right, Arg?’ through their window as they drove past.

  I got to the local newsagent, where I bought a Daily Mirror. When I opened it there was a big article about The Only Way Is Essex and there was a photo of me along with some other members of the cast. I thought it was crazy. The show had been launched only the day before and already we were being built up in the media. The attention continued to grow as more episodes were shown. My Facebook account was swamped and I instantly had five thousand ‘friends’, the maximum you are allowed. Suddenly, everybody wanted to be my friend, and celebrities such as Alan Carr and Kylie Minogue started to tweet about TOWIE. Katy Perry gave us a shout-out on stage, and other famous TOWIE fans included Kate Middleton and Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence. People very quickly started to absolutely love the show.

  Despite all the excitement of the first episode, Lydia was still very much occupying my thoughts. We’d not had any further contact since we’d spotted each other in Nu Bar, but a few days after TOWIE was screened she sent me a jokey text saying that she’d heard I was now a Z-list television star. We exchanged messages and Lydia told me that she was at a friend’s house, so I decided to ask if I could see her.

  ‘Why don’t you let me come and pick you up in a cab and I’ll take you home?’ I offered.

  Lydia agreed and I booked a car. I was full of apprehension on the journey to pick her up because it was the first proper meeting between us since what had happened in Spain. When she got into the minicab things were very awkward. I was sitting in the back while Lydia sat in the front next to the driver. We hardly spoke a word on the journey back to her house, apart from a polite hello. I don’t think either of us knew what to say, but, as we travelled along in silence, I put my hand on her shoulder and briefly ran my fingers through her hair. It was my way of letting her know that I still loved her.

  When we got to Lydia’s house we went into a downstairs room. Our conversation was very subdued. I think we were both very nervous and we were just skirting around the issues, making polite conversation about nothing. Then we had a little cuddle. It felt wonderful to hold her again. And then we kissed each other briefly.

  ‘Can I stay the night?’ I asked.

  ‘No, James,’ she replied.

  I left the house feeling really confused. It seemed as if there was a chance we could work things out, but nothing was resolved. I think we both probably still needed a bit more space. One thing that Lydia did confide to me was that she’d been contacted by the producers, so there was a possibility that she was also going to be invited to appear on TOWIE. I was pleased because I hoped it would be a chance for us to get back together.

  There was a sixties party coming up in the show and I was chuffed when I was asked to sing at it. I thought it would be a fantastic way to get known as a singer. To be able to perform on national television was a golden opportunity to boost my career and I hoped I would get lots of bookings as result. I was anxious to do my best, but I must admit I was very nervous.

  ‘I’ve heard that Lydia’s going to be coming to the sixties party,’ Mark told me on the day of the event.

  It was a bit of a surprise and it ramped up the pressure. I was nervous enough about singing, but the thought of Lydia being there filled me with even more fear because I was worried about how she would react. What if things went wrong, or if she turned up at the party with somebody else? I was a complete bag of nerves. I didn’t relax until I finally got on stage to sing. I performed ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’ by Andy Williams, and I got a good reaction from the audience. Amy Childs came on stage with me and did a little twirl. While we were dancing, I spotted Lydia entering the room. I was very surprised by the way she looked, because she was wearing such heavy makeup. It was caked all over her face and I’d never seen her like that before. It was so thick that she was almost dark brown. She didn’t look anything like the normal Lydia. It was almost as if she were wearing a mask.

  When we spoke after I came off stage I told her that she looked beautiful (I didn’t mention her heavy makeup). I wanted to apologise for what I had done in Marbella and now seemed like the right moment. I didn’t care that we were being filmed.

  ‘Sorry for what happened in Spain, Lyd,’ I said.

  We had a brief conversation and I decided to take the plunge and ask if she would take me back.

  Lydia’s reply stunned me.

  ‘I always used to see myself being with you, but at the moment I don’t see anything. Sorry,’ she said on camera.

  And with that she kissed me on the cheek and walked off. I felt my heart sink and I struggled not to cry in front of the cameras. What I had hoped would be our big reunion had ended with my being given the brush-off. I felt a fool because I knew the whole thing would be shown on TV, which made me feel worse.

  Facebook and Twitter went into overdrive when Lydia was shown spurning me. There were hundreds of people tweeting about what had happened between us, and Lydia came in for an enormous amount of stick. Some of it was very cruel and callous, with lots of horrible comments about the heavy makeup that she’d worn on the show. People were saying she looked like a transvestite or drag queen. The tweets were completely unacceptable. They said she was fat in the face and called her nasty names like ‘pig’. It was like an avalanche of hate. People were saying that I shouldn’t bother with her. It hurt me to see her being slated like that and I wanted to go and see her at home to find out how she was coping. Mark advised me against it.

  ‘She’s just said on national telly that she doesn’t want to be with you! There’s no going back from that, you’ve got to move on,’ he said.

  But I didn’t want to move on. I knew there was still a chance we could patch things up and I was determined to go round to see her. When I got to the house, Debbie let me and I went up to Lydia’s bedroom. She was terribly upset by all the abuse she’d been getting. I gave her a cuddle and things seemed to relax a little between us. I think the shock of all the nastiness she’d suffered made her let her guard down and for the first time in ages we talked in an open and honest way. Lydia said the reason she’d worn so much makeup on TOWIE was nerves. She’d been kept waiting to film the scene and every few minutes she’d redone her makeup because she was worried she wouldn’t look her best. She just kept applying more and more without realising it.

  I told her to ignore all the horrible comments.

  ‘Lydia, you are so beautiful,’ I said. ‘Yo
u’ve got nothing to worry about. It doesn’t matter what everyone says. They say one thing and then they change their minds when you’re on camera again.’

  I told Lydia that I was convinced that we still had a future and I could sense that she was softening towards me. We chatted for a while and then we started to kiss. Suddenly, it felt right between us again.

  That night we ended up making love.

  I felt so happy, although, when I asked if it meant we were back together, Lydia wouldn’t give me a straight answer. I didn’t see her again until we filmed a scene at a Hallowe’en party. It was at new bar called Deuces, which Mark had just opened. He’d saved hard to get the cash together for his own place, and several of the boys and I worked through the night to help him get it ready in time.

  ‘You look gorgeous,’ I told Lydia at the party. This time her makeup was perfect.

  I later performed in front of Lydia during a dinner party at an Indian restaurant, where I did a rendition of ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’. I told the audience that I was dedicating the song to Lydia, and while I sang I looked her straight in the eye. It had the desired effect, because afterwards when I joined Lydia at her table I could see I’d won her over. We agreed to have a fresh start.

  ‘I love you so much, Lydia,’ I told her when we were alone. ‘I’m so glad we’re back together again. You mean everything to me.’

  Mark had experienced a terrible shock after the Hallowe’en party when somebody firebombed his bar. Thankfully it was empty at the time but it was a real blow after he had worked so hard to get it ready on time and I felt very sorry for him. To this day, we still do not know who was responsible.

  I went down there the next day to offer Mark my support. He went about getting the place cleaned up and he was determined to reopen as soon as possible. It was a shame, because it took the gloss off his achievement and from that moment on we always feared it might happen again. I wondered if being on TV had made Mark a target. TOWIE had been on air for only a short time, but already it had become a huge phenomenon. We all went from being complete unknowns to being splashed across almost every magazine and newspaper in the country. It created lots of spin-off work as we were approached to make personal appearances and endorsements. I also experienced a big increase in the number of enquiries about booking me for singing gigs. Many of us soon started to make a very good income from all the extra work that being in the show brought us.

  The big plot as the first series reached its finale revolved around the fact that Mark had challenged Kirk to a charity boxing match. It was as if the bout would settle the matter as to who would be crowned the King of The Only Way Is Essex. I was due to be master of ceremonies at the event, which meant that I’d have to announce the fighters from the ring.

  I was nervous on the night, both for Mark and because I would be under the spotlight while doing the announcing. Unfortunately, the pressure got to me and I ended up getting drunk. What the viewers didn’t see was that I brought along a large bottle of Jack Daniel’s so that I could sip it with Coke to help calm my nerves. I overdid the booze and most of the fight itself was a bit of a blur to me. The producers had hoped to film a scene of me discussing the bout with some of the other cast members, but they had to scrap it because I wasn’t making any sense. When Mark won the fight he became the King of TOWIE, but by that time I was so sloshed that I got into a muddle when I announced the result. I couldn’t remember what colour corner Mark had fought in!

  I wasn’t too worried about my indiscretion when I awoke the next day. In the space of just a few months, my life had been completely transformed. I had come back from Spain penniless and alone. Now I had a top role in a TV show and plenty of money coming in, and I was back with Lydia.

  10

  FAME, FORTUNE AND A GUILTY SECRET

  I fought so hard to get Lydia back – but the truth is that, just when she was ready to make a go of things, I threw it all away with my own stupid behaviour. I’m embarrassed about it now, but all the attention that TOWIE created went to my head. I started falling in love with myself, and my ego very quickly grew to epic proportions. I had gone from being Mark’s sidekick to arguably the second biggest character on the show. I was fêted with adoration by fans every time I made a personal appearance and for the first time in my life I was earning decent money.

  I received so many approaches that I found a manager, Neil Dobias, who was also looking after Mark at that time. When I first met Neil I’d tried to charge him to get into a nightclub while I was helping on the door – I didn’t realise he was already working with Mark. Neil is still my manager today and we get on very well. When he left the agency that he was working for to set up on his own, I moved with him.

  ITV did a huge poll asking viewers what they thought of the cast and I was voted the second most popular character behind Amy Childs. One thing that I had never experienced before was all the attention from girls that it created. After I appeared in the first series, they started to throw themselves at me. I couldn’t believe how blatant they would be. I would be standing at a bar while making a personal appearance and they would come right up and offer to sleep with me out of the blue. At first I wasn’t interested, but as time went on there were occasions when I succumbed to temptation. During the second series of TOWIE there were lots of rumours going around that I had been unfaithful to Lydia, which I denied at the time. I am ashamed to admit it now but I did cheat on Lydia, which is something that I will always regret. All I can say is that I was young and foolish and, if I could turn back time, I would.

  For a very brief period after we got back together, it seemed as if Lydia and I would be happy. As Christmas 2010 approached, I was determined to buy her a special present to show how much I loved her, so I decided to get her a micropig. It was a cute little animal we called Mr Darcy. When I gave him to her at Christmas our relationship was already under strain. Things had started to change between us after I had become a hit in TOWIE. In the past Lydia had been the one who wore the trousers, but as my confidence grew my ego started to take over. I was spending more and more time with Mark out partying, which had started to cause friction between Lydia and me.

  ‘It’s feels like you’re two-timing me with Mark,’ she told me. ‘You’re always out with him instead of me. It’s embarrassing that you’re so far up his backside.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I protested.

  ‘You’d jump off a cliff if Mark told you to. If you keep listening to him you’ll lose me.’

  ‘Oh, leave it out, Lydia,’ I replied.

  ‘No, I won’t leave it, James. He’s coming between us because you spend so much time with him. I’ve hardly seen you recently.’

  Aside from our arguments over Mark, I also had one very guilty secret that I kept from Lydia, and it concerned Amy Childs. I had known Amy as part of the Essex crowd since pre-TOWIE days and we’d always got on very well. She’s a lovely, bubbly, pleasant girl and I always found her easygoing company. During the TOWIE Christmas Special, on which I’d presented Mr Darcy to Lydia, I’d also been filmed chatting alone to Amy in the kitchen. It was quite a flirty scene in which Amy suggestively held up a couple of Christmas puddings in front of her boobs and asked me if I wanted to sample them. Amy asked me on air what Lydia would do if she caught us chatting. I replied that Lydia wouldn’t mind because we were just talking as friends.

  ‘Even though you fancy me a little bit, isn’t it true?’ said Amy.

  It was an awkward moment because the cameras were rolling, so I denied that I was attracted to Amy. I think the viewers just assumed it was a bit of harmless flirting, but the truth was that, away from the public eye, Amy and I were already starting to grow quite friendly. We’d secretly been involved in a very embarrassing moment at an ITV dinner, when Sam Faiers caught us snogging passionately in a loo. It was at a hotel in Mayfair at a Christmas function that was arranged by the boss of ITV, Peter Fincham. He said his two biggest successes of the year were Downton Abbey and The Only
Way Is Essex. In the case of TOWIE it had gone from being a bit of an experiment to an overnight phenomenon, so a small group of cast members were invited along to the dinner to celebrate. Only about six of us went, including Amy, Sam and me. The producers were very excited and they told us all to be on our best behaviour because it was a real honour to be invited to such an important event.

  Amy arrived in a dress that was typically stunning and showed off her boobs. Despite being told to watch ourselves, we were all soon getting up to mischief as the drink flowed. We were being very loud and we started to sing songs as we got into the party spirit. Peter didn’t seem to mind that we were being ourselves and we all got very merry. When I chatted with Amy our conversation was quite flirty and I could feel a spark of attraction. At first I didn’t think too much of it, because Amy loves getting attention from boys and I assumed she was just being a bit of a tease. But as the evening wore on, I got pretty drunk and I found myself getting caught up in the moment. Here was the sexiest and most famous star of the show and she was lavishing her affections on me. None of the other guests were aware of what was going on and it felt exciting and sexy.

  It was clear that she was giving me the come-on and my ego loved it. But at the same time I still wondered if she was just winding me up by having a little bit of banter. For the time being my attention returned to the party and I entertained everyone by singing ‘Let It Snow’. Afterwards, I walked away from the dinner table towards the toilets, which were unisex. Amy was standing outside on her own and her face lit up when she saw me. It felt unreal as we pulled each other inside the loo. There was a big wash area with mirrors above the sinks where we embraced and began to kiss. It felt incredibly sexy to be alone with Amy, but after a few seconds I pulled away out of guilt.