I finished the tattoo with barely any concentration left. It was a late hour for me already, and I had a lot on my mind. Gabriel was probably my last hope. Packing things away, I hurried to the front and asked Jill if she could close for me again. I assumed Zach had Archer again and things were difficult enough even without a kid to demand all your attention.
Soon enough, the two of us were outside heading toward the closest bar. I felt like I could use a drink and it couldn't hurt to ease G's suffering while he listened to my heartache.
"So what's up?" he asked when we had our drinks in hand.
I took a deep breath, trying to ease into it, but no words came to mind and what popped out of my mouth wasn't anything I planned. "Can you tell me what the fuck is Troy's problem?"
G lifted his hands in the air and leaned back, "Wow. Hostile much?"
"Sorry." I ducked my head, still cradling my drink.
"Can you elaborate a bit? I don't know what even seems to be the problem."
I sighed, wishing he could just understand it without me having to say the words. "We met accidentally about a week ago and started talking, admitted some stuff. Things seemed good, like he might be into me, you know?" I looked at G who nodded in understanding. "But then we went on a date and things just seemed to go wrong. Nothing spectacular, just slightly awkward, at least in my book. He was clumsy and kept staring, but I figured it was the beard, or lack thereof. But then at the end he spilled his drink over me and got all flustered and ran away. Just like that, he was gone. I've been trying to call him, text him, but he's not giving me the time of day."
"He really did a number on you, didn't he?" G asked, looking at me with pity.
"I don't know. I really liked him, you know? Even when he was cold toward me and seemed uninterested, I still thought there could be something between us. Something good. Shit, I still think so, but I have no idea where his head's at and it's driving me insane." I looked around the bar absentmindedly as I took a sip.
"You want me to tell you about my experience with him? Is that why I'm here? Or did you just need a friendly face?" Gabriel tilted his head as he waited for my answer.
"Both, I guess. Although I probably would have said the former an hour ago." I chuckled self-depreciatory. "Now I'm just glad to have someone to talk to." I rubbed my fingers over my eyes. I was so tired of the drama and felt like I was a teenager.
"Troy was nothing like that while we were together. Insecure on occasion, sure, and he had his little ticks. But he was never really clumsy, nor did he run away from a date. But you have to take into account that we weren't together for all that long. A few weeks with sporadic dates. Hell, we only even got to third base, but maybe that was more me than him." G shook his head as if dispelling a thought. "I can tell you for sure that he's direct. He might not like sharing and explaining, but when he does he doesn't beat around the bush. All the while that we were together, I always knew where I stood with him. Even when he broke up with me he was down to the point despite the hurt I could see on his face. So it's a bit of a mystery to me as well. I don't have a clue what might be up with him."
"Maybe he doesn't feel there's a connection between us, and wants to end it quickly and with as little pain as possible," I mused, completely lost by now.
"It could be." G hesitated before continuing. "Did you consider that perhaps the two of you just aren't right for each other? Maybe you're seeing something that just isn't there."
And maybe I would have just dismissed it, trusting my own mind and intuition more than people who were on the sidelines watching, but two people telling me pretty much the same thing in the same day was enough to shake even my confidence. So I did do my best to put Troy out of my mind, and trusted G to get me drunk and stay sober enough to see me home.
*~*~*
"Come on sleepyhead. It's time to stretch those old bones and head to the gym." I felt the covers sliding over my bare ass and grumbled something indistinguishable at my friend Noah's annoying voice.
"It's not that I don't appreciate that body but up you go, ex pro hockey player! Don't make me use extreme measures," he sing-songed and I moaned in pain.
"That's what you get when you drink without me. Now up! I have to maintain this body if I don't want to collapse during my next concert and you're my trainer. Get up!" He yelled and I pushed myself out of the bed, as I rubbed my eyes.
"Go take care of that," I squinted at him and saw him pointing at my crotch and the half-awake cock, "And shower. I'll find something for you to wear."
"You're way too casual about my naked body. Zach should kick your ass," I grumbled as I crossed the distance to the bathroom.
"Please, bitch. He knows I like to look and have him fuck it out of me." Groaning at his words I slammed the door shut and climbed into the shower.
"Here's some water and Advil, and I've made some eggs." He pushed it at me as I got out of shower.
"I don't think I can stomach eggs," I mumbled as I drained the water bottle.
"You know they're good for you, and since you're skipping workout to order me around, you'll eat something and nurse more water." Noah gave me my clothes and left for the kitchen.
Sometimes it was like having my mother hovering over my head. But he'd probably called a couple of times and gotten worried when I didn't answer my phone. Not that I had any idea where my phone even was.
Despite my bitching, I ate with him and I drank more water, and by the time we got to the gym I felt like I could even manage a light workout. Every once in a while I went through the paces with Noah, to help him stay in shape and keep his body, something I figured he gave too much importance to. But then again, Noah had always been somewhat vain and I loved him despite of it.
"So what had you drinking in the middle of the week?" He eventually asked as he lifted weights.
"I didn't have kids today," I said absentmindedly, watching him in case he hurt himself.
"That's bullshit and you know it." He grunted as he lifted.
"Fine. My date went to shit and Troy hasn't been answering my phone calls or texts." I pulled up the weight and pointed him at the track.
"Don't you think it's time to just let the guy go?" He turned and looked me in the eye as he spoke.
"It might be," I reluctantly admitted.
"Good. While I do support the attitude of never giving up on someone and trying your best to get what you want, at this point he's either interested or he isn't. You can't force him to like you or date you." A guy caught Noah's attention and asked for an autograph. I looked around us and waved to one of the trainers. We paid good money not to be disturbed in that particular gym and while there were guys who recognized even me, they never approached us, since it was pretty much against the rules unless we were on our way in or out of the gym. Noah still signed, barely paying any attention, he was so used to it. But the moment he was done, the trainer took the guy aside and explained.
"You're right. I do have to make my peace with it. I have no idea why I'm even so stuck on Troy. It's driving me insane and that's not like me."
"Everyone falls eventually. You've just had the bad luck of falling for the wrong guy. Don't worry, there is someone for you out there. You gonna run, too?" he asked as he set the track.
"I might as well. It might clear my mind." I climbed up to the one next to him.
"That's the spirit." Noah grinned at me before focusing forward and running.
Chapter Seven
Troy
Time dragged at first. My mind was filled with unuttered questions of what might have happened if I'd picked up the phone just once, or if I'd answered one of the many texts Adam had sent. Countless possibilities passed through my head of what could have happened between us, how well we could have fit together.
I regretted it. The way I'd covered my head with a pillow, not unlike a child hiding from trouble and kept convincing myself it wasn't my phone ringing. The way I'd deleted so many of his texts without even reading them, and how I pr
etended that those I did read, didn't break my heart not even a bit.
Still, a part of me felt anything but regret. It was the right thing to do. To just stop before either of us could get hurt. To stop acting as if I deserved someone as good as Adam, or that I deserved someone to genuinely care for me. In the end, I probably did do the right thing.
So even as I read, I miss you. Please answer the phone, text me, anything. Just tell me what I did wrong. Please? I imagined those words had been written for someone else. I told myself that every We can be great together. Company to each other during those long nights, support when the world pushes us down… was bordering on stalker behavior instead of expressing an outline of a dream. I stomped on Adam's every word, as I struggled to move on, to convince myself I couldn't have gone about it in any other way.
I allowed the days to turn into weeks. Michael's calls were gently rebuffed and Gabriel's invitations postponed. Then a month had passed and over half of a second one, the invites stopped and I found myself missing them.
I'd taken work home on too many nights and buried myself in numbers over entire weekends that it was hard to remember a time when my life had been different and when it had been all right to seek company and comfort.
"Work drone!" Kay startled me as she knocked loudly against my slightly open office door. "Are you coming?"
"Where?" I looked at her somewhat owlishly not even sure what day it was let alone the occasion.
"It's Linda's birthday party. You even bought her a gift. How did you forget?" She stared.
"I buy those in advance so that I don't forget. What day is it anyway?"
"Friday! What's wrong with you? You've been working your ass off for the past couple of months and I heard the boss mentioning either a raise, promotion, or a nervous breakdown. If even he's noticing the state of you, you should be worried, Troy." Kay leaned against the doorframe, not taking her gaze off me.
"I just… I have a lot on my mind. I don't think I brought any change of clothes," I mumbled, looking around as if a nicer pair of pants and a shirt would just pop out of thin air.
"Don't worry about it. You can go as you are. She wants to go dancing, so we'll just crash a club and take most of it off you anyway." Kay grinned evilly and motioned for me to get up.
"I have to save the work first. Give me a second," I said as I started clicking and eventually rose from my chair.
"Is the dancing mandatory?" I asked as I joined her at the door.
"You better believe it. But don't worry, we'll get you drunk first. Isn't that right, girls?" She yelled the last part and the female majority of the employees happily confirmed it with a shout.
I was out of my element as they herded me toward the club and said little, but since I was surrounded by mainly women, it didn't look like I even needed to participate much. They asked and answered for me, and when I did manage to reply, it usually went against the general opinion and the women won either way.
It was still rather early when we got to the club and only a few of the patrons were dancing. But I knew from past experience a birthday party was something that tended to last long into the night. So I cradled my first drink and did my best to stretch it out, hoping that the shots would pass me by and I would actually remember going home this time.
While I might not spend much of my off time with my colleagues, I knew them to be sly individuals, and true to their colors, I was three drinks in, watching the moving bodies on the dance floor when the questions started.
"So, Troy, do you have a squeeze these days?" Mia, from the second floor advertising department, asked.
"I'm sorry, a what?" I squinted at them, trying to decipher her words.
"Are you fucking anybody?" She deadpanned and if I'd been drinking it would have probably been coming out my nose. Instead I went my usual lobster red and ducked my head as I mumbled, "No."
"Speak up!" Linda jumped in, leaning over two other women with a tilted drink in her hand.
"No," I said louder, annoyed.
"Well, why not?" April added. She was probably the most sober of us.
"I just don't. Can we drop it?" I tried, this time draining my glass.
"Ohhhh. Was it a bad break up?" Kay drawled and I just shot her a look.
"So that's why you've been moping around and working your ass off." Mia nodded to herself as if I'd just spilled the whole story.
"Quickly, give him another drink, something strong before you ask another question," Kay whispered to April loud enough for all of us to hear. But April didn't even hesitate. She just pushed two of the four cups we still had unclaimed between us, and I thought, Why the hell not?
Quickly, before I could change my mind, I downed both of them and took measure of my inquisition. All the girls had their attention on me, so there was no way I was getting out of it. The three other guys who came were in their little world, talking about a sport of some kind and slowly drinking their beers. I deeply envied them.
"Drunk enough?" Mia asked.
"If he isn't yet, he will be soon," Linda told them through a hiccup.
"Was he cute?" Mia mock whispered at me after frowning Linda's way, something the drunk birthday girl completely missed.
I sighed before barely nodding my head. Then I covered my ears as all of them unattractively squealed.
"Why did you break up?"
"Who broke up with whom?"
"Was he good in bed?"
"Do you have a picture?" They all jumped in quickly enough that I had trouble following who was asking which question.
"We just went on one date; Jesus. It was a disaster, and I stopped answering his calls. Happy now?" I snipped angrily.
They were quiet enough that I felt bad for yelling at them, but that quickly changed as they braved it again, and carried on without mercy for the next few hours.
I was drunk off my ass and completely frazzled by the time Kay dropped her arm around my shoulders and leaned in. "I think it's time for us to go dancing. Y'know, move our ass and show our tits."
"I don't have those," I mumbled and tried to right the world around me while she pulled her way and kept on tilting it.
"Sure you do." She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Smaller tits and, what's that word… Stronger ass. No. That's not it. Maybe tight. Yes, you're a tight ass."
I was still processing but the rest of the girls burst in laughter.
"Come on. Leave the crazies. Let's go daaancing!" Kay pouted only to start pulling at my hand in the next second.
I stood up and was about to move toward the dance floor when Mia shouted at me, "No! You can't go like that." Her words caught the attention of the rest of the women, and soon I was out of my jacket and tie, with my shirt unbuttoned all the way and the undershirt showing together with my pale skin.
"I'm naked," I mumbled.
April heard me and grinned maliciously before saying, "No, you're not. But you could be."
My expression must have been one of horror because all of them were suddenly cackling at me, and Kay managed to pull me away, deeper into the crowd.
Everything swayed around me and the flashing lights did little to help, but quickly enough I had Kay hanging off me while I leaned on her as much as I could. We moved together, barely keeping our balance, and while she casually rubbed against me, I couldn't help it but want someone a bit firmer, stronger. Someone taller and absolutely more male. I would definitely rub against that. I thought to myself then promptly moaned as my hips encountered nothing but air. Kay was just too short. And the wrong things were pressing against me.
Then she chuckled, joined by someone behind me. "You don't like my tits?" Kay was having trouble breathing she was laughing so hard and she moved away, while someone's strong chest pressed against my back, and I definitely wasn't feeling any tits there. I trembled in delight.
"Is that better?" Kay grinned evilly before she grazed her knuckles against the bulge in my pants making me hitch forward, only to be caught and pulled back by the pers
on behind me.
Kay moved away for whatever reason, quickly catching another guy to dance with, but to be honest, I paid little attention to her. My senses were filled with a somewhat familiar scent, the large arms cradling me against a rock hard chest and the huge thigh that had found its way between my legs. I looked down and squeezed with my own thighs. "So strong," I mumbled.
"Is this what you wanted?" the voice whispered and I shivered in anticipation.
"Yes. It's perfect," I hissed as I pushed my chest forward but rubbed my ass against the hard cock behind me. I reached up as I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the man's shoulder, pressed my face against his smooth cheek.
"You're perfect. So hot." I felt the burning tongue against my jaw and finally connected my hand to the man's smooth head. I pulled him harder against me, wanting more of him.
"You're gonna be the death of me." He wrapped his hands around my waist, making me feel almost tiny.
"That's all right. Lil' death is always welcome," I told him, thinking how I was already halfway there.
His chest almost vibrated against me as he laughed, and I whined, shivering when he touched my overheated skin with the tips of his fingers. "It would be so good, too. Your taste on my lips, the moans under me as I broke you apart." The voice almost had me coming I was so hard.
"Get on with it!" I shouted, frustrated and turned in his arms to look at him. Only I wasn't quite prepared for the familiar sight.
My throat dried up, and I gaped like a fish. Adam, half lidded, watching me as if I'd brought him the moon had my heart skipping a beat. He was even more beautiful under the colorful light, and I had no idea he actually hid such a strong body under his clothes. I shivered beneath his gaze but was hardly willing to move away.
"What do you need?" Adam leaned down, sliding his smooth cheek against mine.
Without even picking my words, I blurted out my desire. "You."
Adam's smile had my alcohol addled mind melting and I leaned into him again, my erection all but forgotten.
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