I yank open the car door and start the engine. The classic roars to life, and I spin tires as I head down the street.
Chapter Seven
Kathrine
I’m drowning in ’80s classic rock. The bar has gotten a little more crowded in the past thirty minutes, and I’ve gotten a little drunker.
Axl Rose belts out lyrics about the month of November and rain. I’m tipsy and swaying as he croons.
I’ve always been a fan of Guns N’ Roses, but I’ve never seen them in concert. I think I’ll have to rectify that.
Sooner than later.
Where’s my phone, anyway? I pat my pockets. “I can look up tickets now.”
My arm is bumped into and I teeter sideways.
A hand comes out to steady me. “Whoa,” a voice says. “Didn’t mean to knock you over.” He mumbles under his breath, “There must be a senior discount going on in here. Look at all the silver backs. Well, besides you.” He chuckles and it’s not pervy or uncomfortable. It’s genuine.
I giggle at my looseness and slowly turn my head to the voice beside me.
My eyes blink and I lean in a little closer, shutting one eye to focus better on the man in front of me. Gray eyes, salt and pepper hair. An honest smile and a sense of humor I’d remember anywhere.
“Mills?” I ask with a goofy grin.
“Kathrine. Is that you?” he asks. “Holy shit.”
I reach out and give the man a hug.
“It’s good to see you,” I say.
“Good to see you, too, darlin’. It’s been a longgg time.” He stretches out the G in long.
I find my seat and shake my head. “How have you been?”
He grabs the beer that’s placed in front of him and nods at the bartender in thanks. “Can’t complain. Road has been good to me.”
“You’re still trucking it then?” I ask before taking a sip from my own beer.
“Yep. Still going at it.” He tilts his head at me. “Wait. Why are you here? I rode through here some years back and the people at the diner said you’d left town.”
“I did, Mills.” I nod my head. “I finally got out of this piece of shit place.”
This crappy little town used to be a pit stop on Mills’ truck route, but then he got a different route and I got the hell out of Dodge. Mills stopped coming before I left, though, and I missed talking to him something fierce. You see, Mills had what I didn’t.
He had freedom.
He had a glimpse of the outside world.
Something beyond this town and I wanted that so badly I could taste it.
He wasn’t like the other men who came into the diner. He was nice and kindhearted. He always tipped well, and I didn’t have to put up with bullshit from him like I did from the creeps.
Mills was a rarity in men.
A true gem.
He sweeps a hand through his longish hair. “That’s good to hear, Kathrine. Real good to hear.”
Mills never knew about my personal life. I didn’t speak to anyone about that, but he knew enough to know I wasn’t happy here and he wasn’t blind to the bruises. But he never called me out on it and I was grateful.
I’ve never been good at talking about the things I’ve gone through, and it wasn’t any easier while I was going through them.
“So, what are you doing here? Just stopping in?”
He nods with a cheek full of beer. “Yep, but you never told me why you were back.”
I clear my throat. “Saw…” I correct myself. “My stepdad died.”
“Oh.” Is all he says before taking another sip. He gets a look in his eye that tells me maybe he knew more than he let on all those years ago.
“Good riddance,” I say, lifting my bottle with a slight chuckle. He looks at me and nods, lifting his beer. We clink bottles and I swallow back a mouth full.
Good riddance to them all, I think to myself.
“K.”
I whip my head at the sound of a baritone voice I know all too well.
Bryce stands behind me, tall, void of emotion.
A loose snapback covers his head and his hands are shoved into the pockets of his black leather coat that covers a gray hoodie. His head is slightly tilted as his eyes bounce between Mills and me.
His eyes look tempestuous, his strong jawline tight.
Dark khaki pants cover his legs and he wears boots instead of his Nikes.
I exhale slowly, not ready for him. Not ready for the shit storm I see in his blues.
“Friend of yours?” he asks, lifting his chin at Mills.
“Yep. Bryce, this is Mills. Mills, this is my friend Bryce,” I say, waving my hand between the two.
“Friend,” Bryce says with a sadistic smirk and a slow nod of his head. He sucks his teeth and lifts a finger at the bartender who walks over.
“Bourbon and,” he looks at my empty glass, “whatever this lady wants.”
“Just water, please,” I say, knowing I don’t need any more liquor.
Bryce looks to Mills in question.
“I’m good, man. Thanks,” Mills replies.
Tension grows and silence between us all stretches the minutes.
“So, what brings you?” I ask Bryce.
“You,” he says straightforward with a lift of his brows. He doesn’t take his eyes off me and I swallow. “You from around here?” Bryce asks Mills after a long pause.
“Nah. I live west of here. I’m a trucker. Been coming through this town for over twenty years. Used to stop by the diner on my route. That’s where I met Kathrine. You ever eaten there?” Mills is either clueless to the tension between us or he’s choosing to stay out of it.
“Yes,” Bryce replies.
My eyes narrow at his. In my drunken state, I swear Bryce said he’d eaten at the diner I used to work at.
“Then you know about their fried hamburger steak. It’s the best you can get,” Mills beams and leans on the bar.
“No. Afraid not. I believe I had waffles. I was a boy.”
He did say he’d eaten there. I bring my beer to my mouth, studying him hard.
“Ahh, well, you’ll have to grab you some before you leave town,” Mills says.
“I might just do that,” Bryce replies as the bartender places our drinks on the counter. Bryce hands me my water, basically making me put the beer down. I eyeball him, but he doesn’t seem affected. He downs his drink before sliding it onto the bar.
“Mills, it was a pleasure talking with you. I don’t know too much about this girl’s past. Nice to meet someone from it.”
Is Bryce leaving?
Mills looks a little confused but shakes Bryce’s outstretched hand.
I feel like I’m walking on thin ice and it’s going to shatter beneath me at any moment. Bryce is playing it cool.
Too cool.
“Pleasure was mine.” Mills looks at me. “Always good to see you.”
Is he leaving, too?
“You, too,” I say, going in for another hug. The man smells like hard work and laundry detergent. He sniffs and nods as he slips from my embrace.
Bryce looks at me. “Ready?”
Oh, we’re leaving. I take a sip of my water as my eyes land on the door and my heart bungee jumps in my chest.
I can’t catch a break.
Bethany sees me, and then her eyes move to Bryce before shooting wide open as they land on Mills.
Her skin pales and she covers her mouth. She spins around and heads out the door. I jump from my seat, swaying a bit before gaining my balance.
Bryce’s hand lands on my arm, but I shrug him off and aim for the door.
“What did you see?” I ask, spotting her in the parking lot. She’s walking so fast I have to jog.
“Stop!” I yell after her. She turns around and looks at me. Tears are in her eyes and she shakes her head.
“Just leave it be, Kathrine.”
“Why did you look like that?” I squint, trying to keep thick flakes of snow out of my eyes.
Her chest shudders and she surrenders to the tears. Turning away from me, she gasps and looks up at the sky. I look behind me, knowing Bryce is there, not close, but there.
He doesn’t make a move—just stands far enough back for distance, but near enough to hear everything.
I twist back to her. “Tell me. You owe me some answers here,” I say, opening my hands. “You disappeared. You left without a fucking word to me. How does a mother do that to her child? How could you?”
The winter storm picks up and the wind howls. I hug myself, trying to keep warm.
“I don’t know why I did it, okay? I was young and stupid. I know what I did was wrong. Hell, I’ve been paying for it my whole goddamn life.”
“Not as much as me. I promise,” I say bitterly.
She looks at me with a pain I didn’t see before. “I’m aware of that now.”
She doesn’t even know why she left. I’ll never understand it. All the shit I went through—all of it was for no real reason.
She was young and stupid.
I shake my head slightly and move my whipping hair from my face. “Why did you look like you’d seen a ghost when you walked into the bar?”
“Bethany?” I twist back at the sound of Mills behind me. My eyes narrow and I step to the side so I can see both of them. She looks ripped in two and panicky, and Mills looks bewildered. “What…?” His tight eyes look from her to me.
“How do you two know each other?” I ask suspiciously.
Neither says anything. They just stare at one another. Eyes roaming and minds spinning.
“When did you get back in town?” Mills asks Bethany.
“Earlier today.”
“Why are you here?” he asks, his tone light, like he can’t believe it.
Shaken and looking sheepish, Bethany sniffs and her eyes dart to me for a splinter of a second.
I narrow mine as they rotate between the two.
“How do you know Kathrine?” Mills asks.
“She’s my daughter.”
I see him swallow as his head turns to me. Mills looks as though he’s been punched in the chest.
“I never left,” she says. “I stayed and I married Saw.”
“You what?” he asks disbelievingly, running a hand through his thick salt and pepper hair. The snow continues its wrath on all of us and I’m sure we’ll be sick as shit after this, but no one seems to be worried.
I look over at Bryce. Our eyes connect and he walks closer to me. Snowflakes land on his shoulders and his hands are protected in his pockets. His tall frame stands by my small one and I can feel his comfort without his touch. I don’t say anything, but having him close helps.
Mills and Bethany act as though I’m not here. My questions go unanswered. It’s like they’re the only ones in this damn parking lot freezing to death.
“I loved him,” she says.
“Bullshit,” Mills throws back. “You loved me.”
“What?” I say, staggered. They both look at me. “What the fuck is going on here?”
Bryce looks down at my outburst. “Maybe we all should go back inside? Or go somewhere that’s not in a snowstorm?”
“I’m not leaving. I need answers.”
Bethany looks distraught, and Mills looks angry.
“How could you lie to me? How could you break off
what we had and marry that motherfucker?” he asks.
Motherfucker is right, I think to myself.
“You were always gone,” Bethany says.
“It was my job.”
“I know, and I couldn’t deal with it. I had other things to think about.”
Mills darts his eyes over at me for a flash of a moment as he walks closer to her. “Like what?”
“Oh, like you don’t know,” Mama throws back. “This is a small town.”
He shakes his head at her and lowly, heart-wrenchingly, he says, “What did you cost me?”
“I didn’t cost you anything. I did what I thought was right. We were too young, and Saw was willing to take care of me. He was older and had a steady home. It just made sense.”
I can’t comprehend what I’m hearing.
“Tell me if it’s true,” he says. “Tell me.”
Everything is happening so fast I don’t have time to think. Mills and my mom were together? Before she got with Saw? I think back on an argument they had before she left. I remember my stepdad saying something about another man.
My eyes shoot to Mills.
No.
This can’t be.
I look back at her and our eyes connect. They’re filled with shame, but then she lifts her chin, and I feel my anger grow stronger. My knees grow weak and my throat becomes ash dry. Warm alcohol doesn’t swim in my veins anymore. They’re ice cold now and a puzzle piece to my fucked-up life slips into place.
I’m sober and wild with rage.
“This is your daughter,” she tells Mills.
Chapter Eight
Bryce
K’s hand goes over her mouth as she stares at Bethany and Mills.
“I never stopped loving you,” Bethany says to Mills. “I thought of you every day and I saw you in our daughter. It wasn’t easy, but I really thought I was doing the right thing.”
“You thought robbing me of a life with my own blood was the right thing?” Mills asks, his voice laced with hurt.
Bethany doesn’t respond as I put my arm around Kathrine’s waist, afraid her knees may buckle.
This is a lot to take in.
It’s fucking freezing out here and K is shaking.
“Let’s get you inside,” I say to her. “You’re going to get pneumonia.” Kat looks up at me with an emptiness that concerns me.
Jesus.
“Mills,” I interrupt. “I know you all have a lot to discuss here, but this storm isn’t letting up. Is there any way we can meet up with you somewhere? Maybe tomorrow?”
Mills looks to K, and then he nods as he removes his phone from his front pocket. “Yeah, let me get your number.”
_____________
“You need to get those wet clothes off,” I say after we walk into the hotel room. Nodding, K removes her coat before unbuttoning her jeans and kicking her shoes off. Her shirt goes over her head, taking her beanie with it, leaving her hair sticking up a tad. K stands in a bra and underwear, and I run over to the thermostat and turn the heat up a notch.
“I’m going to take a warm shower,” she says lowly. I grab her arm as she walks past me.
Her skin is cold and clammy. Her hair is damp, and she’s distant.
“You know you can talk to me about anything,” I say to her. Her blue-gray eyes look up at me for a brief moment before skipping past my shoulder.
“I just need a minute to think,” she says.
“Okay.” I nod. She moves away and goes into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
I sigh and remove my hat, tossing it onto the bed as I scrub down my face. I walk over to the window and look out at the flurry of snow. After Mills got my number, I hurried Kat to my car, and we drove off without so much as a word to Bethany.
I don’t even know the woman, but something is off there. Apparently, Mills is K’s father and neither one of them knew it. None of this explains why Kathrine is here, though, and I don’t think I’m getting any answers out of her tonight.
I see Kat’s things on the other side of the bed, so I walk over and pull out some of her clothes. I stand and go to the closed door, lightly brushing my knuckles against it. “K, I’ve got some of your clothes here.” I narrow my eyes and listen, thinking I hear her crying. Without permission, I open the door and walk to the shower. I move the curtain back, and the sight before me breaks my fucking heart.
Hugging her knees, she sits in the tub and her shoulders shake worse than her body was earlier in the storm. She looks up at me with tear-stained cheeks as the water cascades over her.
“Why would she leave me with him?” she chokes out. “Why did she
do this to me?”
“Baby.” I turn the hot water off and wrap a towel around her body. “Come here,” I say. She weeps, linking her arms around my neck. I lift her in my arms and walk to the bed. Cradling love, I kiss her wet hair and let her cry. She struggles for air and sobs into my neck.
“Jesus, baby.” I rock her and look out the window. “It’s okay,” I murmur.
She unhooks her arms and brings the towel up, wiping her face. I gently move her off me and walk to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth. I hand it to her and then walk to my own bag. Grabbing a T-shirt and some jogging pants, I quickly change and then grab one of my extra shirts for her to put on. I know she has her own clothes, but something about her wearing mine brings me comfort. I’m hoping it will her, too.
“Arms up,” I say with a small smile. She doesn’t return it but lifts her arms and lets me put the oversized shirt over her head. She pulls her long hair out of the collar and moves the towel away from her. I toss it near the bathroom and sit down on the bed beside her.
Mindlessly, she looks out the window, rubbing her fingers over the washcloth in her hand.
“I’d give anything to know what you’re thinking,” I say to her. A silent shutter passes through her like an aftershock from an earthquake, but she doesn’t look at me. She just gazes out the window and I let her.
Chapter Nine
Kathrine
Snow falls quickly outside, piling on layers to the leftovers that already cover the ground. I stare with a child wonder because it reminds me of when I was just that. A child. A fond memory with my mama…Bethany. I don’t have many of those. I guess being in this town and the fact I just saw her dragged one up.
I was seven. It was snowing hard, and it was just the two of us at home. She woke me in the middle of the night, and we got all of our warm clothes on before running out in the field.
We built a snowman by moonlight and threw snowballs at each other. I remember how the moon painted her silver and how fragile she seemed. I didn’t take after her in that fact, or maybe I was like her at one point. I just grew up hard and it made me harder.
Give Me Perfect Love (Give Me Series Book 2) Page 5
