The Curious Lobster

by Richard W. Hatch

  “Yes,” answered Mr. Badger, so pleased that he couldn’t help chuckling at Mr. Bear, “I guess this is colossal!”

  “What does that mean?” asked Mr. Lobster.

  “A colossal thing is the biggest of all,” said Mr. Badger, “and also the most important.”

  “I thought so,” said Mr. Bear, who was still disgusted.

  “But what is it?” asked Mr. Lobster, whose curiosity was not nearly satisfied.

  “I call it a land boat,” answered Mr. Badger. “It isn’t big enough for all of us to ride in it at the same time, but we can take turns.”

  “What makes it go?”

  “It can go down-hill all by itself,” Mr. Badger said. “It just goes, but it isn’t alive. I bit it to see. Isn’t that marvelous?”

  “Anything will go down-hill,” put in Mr. Bear in a rather disagreeable tone. “If it would go up-hill by itself, then I would say it was really marvelous.”

  “Nothing goes up-hill by itself but the wind,” answered Mr. Badger sharply, “and you can’t see the wind. Therefore it is plain that anything you can see can’t be expected to go up-hill by itself. And for myself, I prefer things I can see.”

  “So do I,” agreed Mr. Lobster. Then he looked over to Mr. Bear and said, “But I think your mysterious object is very wonderful. You know, I worked hard to bring my rope here, and if I am not cross at Mr. Badger I think you ought not to be.”

  “All right,” Mr. Bear agreed, “but some time I am going to do something more remarkable than Mr. Badger. He is always so pleased with himself. I want to be pleased with myself.”

  “I just have a happy nature, that’s all,” said Mr. Badger in a kindly tone. “And I have found out that it keeps me happy if I think of pleasing things about myself and pleasing things I have done. For mistakes do not make happy memories, but pleasing things do.”

  “How true,” agreed Mr. Lobster. “And I would like to say that I think my rope is best because it may be the most useful, and Mr. Bear’s object is best because it is the most mysterious, and Mr. Badger’s land boat is best because we can ride in it. So we all have brought the best thing.”

  That remark made them all happy, and Mr. Bear walked all around the cart, looking it over very carefully. Mr. Badger examined the jug, amazed that he could see through it although it was hard. Mr. Lobster was very busy coiling his rope so that it would be ready for use.

  While he was busy with his coiling, he was trying to think of something to do with the things they had gathered, and for some reason or other he remembered the talkative turtle. Possibly the end of the rope looked like the turtle’s tail. Anyway, thinking about the turtle, Mr. Lobster remembered about exploring, and immediately he knew that he had discovered the very thing for the three friends to do for an adventure.

  “I have something important to say,” he said to Mr. Badger and Mr. Bear. “Usually Mr. Badger has the ideas for adventures, but this time I think I have one.”

  “Good for you!” exclaimed Mr. Badger. “Then when we have narrow escapes I won’t get all the blame for them. What is your idea?”

  “Do you want to hear, Mr. Bear?” asked Mr. Lobster politely.

  Mr. Bear pondered a moment.

  “Will you use my mysterious object?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes, we shall use everything we have.”

  “Well, I know Mr. Badger won’t be happy unless something is happening.” Mr. Bear gave a low sigh, for he loved peace and comfort, and he was inclined to be lazy in warm weather. And he felt certain that anything Mr. Lobster and Mr. Badger agreed upon would be disturbing.

  “Very true,” said Mr. Badger. “It’s high time we started something.”

  “I suppose I want to hear, then,” said Mr. Bear. “I trust that your ideas are not so dangerous as Mr. Badger’s—such as stealing boats.”

  “Then,” said Mr. Lobster, pausing so that what he said would have due importance, “I say that we go exploring. I met a turtle last winter who recommended exploring, and I have been curious about it ever since. I want to see what it is like.”

  “Exploring is like an extra long picnic,” explained Mr. Badger. “It lasts for days and days. And it is just the thing for an adventure! Mr. Lobster, it is the best idea I ever heard mentioned!” Mr. Badger was indeed enthusiastic.

  “What shall we explore?” asked Mr. Bear. “What shall we search for?”

  “Oh, that doesn’t matter,” said Mr. Badger at once. “As long as you are exploring, it doesn’t matter whether you accomplish anything or not.”

  “The turtle said the object of exploring was to get away from things,” said Mr. Lobster.

  “I don’t want to get away from anything,” said Mr. Bear.

  “You see new places too,” added Mr. Lobster.

  “Are they better places than the ones we have already, though?” Mr. Bear was being quite serious.

  “That is the best part of exploring!” exclaimed Mr. Badger. “If the place you find is better than the one you leave, then you are happy without coming home. If the new place is worse, then you’re glad to come home. So you’re sure of being happy either way it turns out. Exploring is perfect.”

  “If we go exploring, do we come home nights?” asked Mr. Bear.

  “Of course not. Not for days and days.”

  “Well, I prefer to come home nights,” protested Mr. Bear. “Any other arrangement is bound to be uncomfortable.”

  “Who ever heard of an explorer who was comfortable!” exclaimed Mr. Badger. “Why, exploring is just like a narrow escape. You do it so that you will have something to remember and talk about afterwards; and what would an explorer have to talk about if he were comfortable? He might just as well stay at home.”

  Mr. Bear was silent.

  “You will have your object with you, Mr. Bear,” said Mr. Lobster. “Then you can have a drink of water if you get thirsty.”

  “I am usually hungry,” said Mr. Bear ungraciously.

  “Explorers find food,” Mr. Badger was saying. “They eat anything. And if you want to, we can take our fish lines with us and catch fish.”

  “I suppose I shall have to go,” said Mr. Bear not very happily.

  “We shall go in my land boat!” said Mr. Badger. He was delighted.

  “Exactly,” agreed Mr. Lobster.

  “I object to that.” Mr. Bear growled a little. “I saw Mr. Badger pulling that thing, and he had to go backwards.”

  “We can use my rope,” said Mr. Lobster. “Then we can go frontwards.”

  There was nothing left for Mr. Bear to object to or argue about, although deep in his heart he suspected that the whole business of exploring would turn out to be very dangerous and uncomfortable.

  “Very well,” he said. “I will go.”

  “Let us start tomorrow,” suggested Mr. Badger.

  “I am going home and have a good meal,” said Mr. Bear. “No knowing when I’ll get another, once we get started.”

  Then they put Mr. Bear’s jug and Mr. Lobster’s coil of rope in the cart, and Mr. Badger pulled the cart over into the long grass.

  “Tomorrow morning we shall all meet here,” he said when he returned.

  And so the three friends parted.

  The Explorers Meet with Disaster

  EARLY IN the morning Mr. Lobster started for the shore. On the way he encountered the sculpin and said good-by to him, explaining that he was going exploring and might not return for some time.

  “Not even at night?” asked the sculpin.

  “Oh, no,” answered Mr. Lobster.

  The sculpin spread all his fins.

  “Then I may as well say ‘Farewell,’ ” he said in a gloomy tone. He blew a bubble the size of a long, sad sigh. “We say ‘Farewell’ only to people we don’t expect to see again,” he added.

  “Then I shan’t say it,” replied Mr. Lobster. “For I am planning to return. I hope you are happy while I am gone. And please don’t worry about me.”

  “Very unfortunate.
Very unfortunate, indeed,” said the sculpin.

  Mr. Lobster hurried away from the depressing fish and went so fast up the river that he arrived at the meadow at the same time Mr. Badger got there. Mr. Badger had his fish line with him.

  Mr. Bear came along very slowly a few minutes later, also carrying his fish line. Mr. Badger pulled the cart out of the long grass, and the three friends made ready to start their exploration.

  First Mr. Lobster, with his big claws, cut a piece from his rope, and Mr. Badger, who was most clever with his paws, tied it around one of the stakes at the front of the cart and then made a loop in the other end so that the result was a simple kind of harness. Then he put the handle back over the cart, climbed in, and took hold of it.

  “Now we are ready,” he said. “The person who rides can steer this just like a water boat, but this boat steers from the front. And the one who pulls it can just put his head through the loop. We shall carry the extra rope and the fish lines and Mr. Bear’s object along for future use. I didn’t sleep a wink all last night thinking it all out.”

  “I am afraid this business is your idea now,” remarked Mr. Bear. “That makes me worry about its safety.”

  “But Mr. Badger is the best planner, we must admit,” said Mr. Lobster.

  “We shall see.” Mr. Bear growled softly, but Mr. Lobster paid no attention to that. He considered it wise to pretend not to hear everything that went on.

  Mr. Badger had gotten out of the cart and was busy loading it.

  “Who is going to pull the land boat?” asked Mr. Lobster.

  “We shall take turns,” answered Mr. Badger. “First, Mr. Bear can pull you and me. Then, when he is tired, we can pull him.”

  Mr. Bear still looked rather doubtful, but he said nothing.

  So Mr. Badger stood beside the cart, and Mr. Lobster climbed onto his back and then into the front of the cart under the handle. He was so excited that he trembled in every joint of his bright new shell. “I suppose,” he said to himself, “that I am the first lobster ever to ride about on land. It will be another new experience, and more new knowledge. Truly, this will be the most remarkable year of my life.”

  Mr. Badger had climbed into the cart and seized the handle.

  As Mr. Bear put his head through the loop in the rope he looked over his shoulder and said, “Take good care of my object.”

  Then they started.

  For Mr. Lobster it proved to be a delightful experience. From the cart he could look all around and see more of the meadow than he had ever seen before. Mr. Badger steered so well that the cart rolled ahead very smoothly. Mr. Bear was so strong that he could walk right along, pulling his two friends, without any real hard work.

  After a time, however, when they had traveled a considerable distance up the river, Mr. Bear looked over his shoulder and said, “Isn’t it time for me to ride now?”

  “Certainly,” agreed Mr. Badger.

  So everyone changed places. Mr. Bear sat up straight in the cart, one paw resting on his beloved jug, and looked like a king. Mr. Badger put his head into the loop of rope, and Mr. Lobster took hold with one of his big claws.

  Everything was fine until they started, and then, alas, Mr. Bear proved to be so heavy that Mr. Badger and Mr. Lobster could just barely move him. In fact, the cart moved so slowly that it seemed to all three of the explorers that they were not getting anywhere at all.

  “Can’t you go any faster?” asked Mr. Bear.

  “You weigh too much,” said Mr. Badger. “I am afraid that if we are going to accomplish anything, you will have to do all the pulling, Mr. Bear.”

  “I might have known it,” groaned Mr. Bear. “I have to do all the work. However, I shall do it for a while until we see how this exploring turns out. If it is nothing but work, I vote we return home.”

  “Wait until we discover something,” said Mr. Badger.

  The three friends changed places again, and once more Mr. Bear did the pulling.

  At noontime Mr. Bear suggested that they all stop for a rest; so they paused on the bank of the river. Mr. Lobster was able to find two clams, and Mr. Badger and Mr. Bear fished and each caught a fish for lunch. Mr. Bear preferred his fish fried, but he knew there was no use saying anything about that now. And Mr. Badger, although he could and did eat fish, would have preferred a fine piece of meat; but he also said nothing. Mr. Lobster was perfectly happy, for he was not hungry and was contented to wait until suppertime for his next meal.

  During the afternoon Mr. Bear became restless. The explorers were still traveling across the meadow, going further and further up the river; but now there seemed to be very little new about it. When they finally came to a wide creek, Mr. Bear stopped.

  “Now where shall we go?” he asked. “I refuse to go through water.”

  “We must go along the creek to the woods,” said Mr. Badger. “Then we can go over that hill we see from here and down the other side to the meadow again.”

  “Are we going through the woods?” asked Mr. Lobster. “I should like to do that.”

  “Explorers go everywhere,” answered Mr. Badger gaily.

  So Mr. Bear pulled the cart across the meadow to the edge of the woods. Of course, Mr. Bear and Mr. Badger had been in woods many times, so this was not a new experience for them. But Mr. Lobster had never been in the woods except the terrible time when he had been lost there, and then he had been so frightened and had gotten so dry that he had not enjoyed the woods at all. Now he looked about him with the greatest pleasure.

  As they entered the woods a crow came flying from somewhere and landed in a tall tree and looked down on the explorers. Mr. Lobster saw the bird and was immediately curious.

  “I wonder what that crow can see from there,” he said.

  “I couldn’t see a thing from there,” said Mr. Badger, and he gave a shiver. “If I were up as high as that I would be so frightened I am sure I would shut my eyes tight.”

  “It does my heart good to know there is one place you don’t want to go,” remarked Mr. Bear.

  “Well, I don’t know how to climb trees, and I can’t fly,” retorted Mr. Badger, “and I am too wise to want to go where I know I never can go. I prefer to want to do things I know I can do sometime—like having adventures and exploring.”

  “That’s just an excuse,” said Mr. Bear. He was pleased with himself because he thought that for once he had put Mr. Badger in his place.

  But nobody could put Mr. Badger in his place for long. He always managed to have the last word himself.

  “Cheer up,” he said to Mr. Bear brightly. “When you are as wise as I am, you will understand all that I do about life.” And he chuckled, which made Mr. Bear furious, as Mr. Badger knew it would; and Mr. Bear growled.

  Mr. Lobster was listening and thinking things over. “I guess it would be common sense for me not to want to get to the top of a tree,” he said to himself, “but I just can’t help being curious about it. I want to know what it is like to be high up in the air. Just for once. I don’t know why it is, but curiosity keeps right on, even when it is not common sense. There’s nothing to be done about it.”

  By this time they had reached the top of the hill. The crow had been following them, and he had called to his friends; and now there were about twenty crows sitting in the tops of the trees, watching the three explorers. Crows are not very friendly or trusting; so they did not come down to earth but talked the matter over among themselves high overhead. They made quite a chatter.

  Mr. Badger knew that the birds were interested in what was going on.

  “I think our boat will go down this hill by itself,” he said, looking down the hill to the river. “We shall show these crows how explorers travel.”

  There was a clear space between the trees on the hill, and it looked as though it would be a simple matter to steer the cart down the hill and out on the smooth meadow.

  “Give me the rope,” said Mr. Badger to Mr. Bear, “and watch us go. I shall steer right for the ban
k of the river.”

  Mr. Lobster felt himself trembling at the thought of flying down the hill, but he had no time to consider what was the wisest thing to do. For Mr. Bear had already given Mr. Badger the rope, and the cart had started moving.

  “Hang on!” cried Mr. Badger. “Here we go!”

  The cart went faster and faster, and the faster it went the more it rattled and banged and shook. Mr. Lobster found himself bouncing around so that it seemed as if his shell would be shaken to pieces. And the wind blew past him so that he felt as though he were out in a gale.

  “Is this like flying?” he managed to ask Mr. Badger.

  “Better!” shouted Mr. Badger, who was very busy with the steering. “It isn’t so far to fall if anything happens.”

  Just then something did happen. The cart hit a bump, and Mr. Lobster bounced straight up in the air and came down on top of Mr. Badger. He would have tumbled right off Mr. Badger and out of the cart, but quick as a wink he grabbed hold of Mr. Badger with both his big pincher claws and held on with all his strength.

  “Ouch!” yelled Mr. Badger. “Ouch! Let go!”

  “I can’t! I’ll fall off!” cried Mr. Lobster.

  The cart dashed out of the woods onto the smooth meadow and headed straight across the grass for the river, with Mr. Badger groaning piteously and Mr. Lobster holding tighter and tighter.

  Nearer and nearer they came to the river, but still Mr. Badger steered straight ahead.

  “Look out!” cried Mr. Lobster. “The river!”

  Mr. Badger gave a pull on the handle. The cart gave such a sharp turn that it went up on two wheels almost at the very bank of the river.

  “O-o-ouch!” shrieked Mr. Badger.

  Fortunately the cart did not tip over. Slowly it came to a stop. Mr. Lobster let go of Mr. Badger and fell out of the cart onto the soft meadow grass.

  Mr. Badger climbed out.

  “Wonderful!” exclaimed Mr. Badger, “although you nearly finished me! Wasn’t that a narrow escape?”

  “It was for you,” said Mr. Lobster, “for you nearly went over the bank into the river. Why didn’t you turn before?”