Sinful

by Lexi Buchanan

  She already has her door open and is half way to my porch before I can argue and I’m left sitting like a fucking lemon in the truck.

  Now or never.

  I open my door and, climbing out, feel the pounding rain on my back, soaking through my shirt. Clamping my jaw together as I hobble to the porch, I try not to think about Savannah watching me. It would kill me watching her turn her back because of the disability that affects me every day, some days more than others.

  Finally having shelter from the rain, I can’t catch my breath from the pain shooting up my thigh. I feel every breath rush from between my lips when Savannah closes the gap between us, and reaches up to smooth the lines bracketing my mouth. Her touch hits me straight in the heart, and causes a different kind of pain.

  “You’ve been on your leg too long,” she comments. “I, um, read something once about the length of time someone with a prosthesis should actually wear one in a twenty-four hour period.” She blushes and moves her fingers.

  Has she been reading that subject because of me? My heart stutters in my chest with hope.

  Savannah’s shivering grabs my attention. “You need to get dry.”

  Unlocking the front door, I usher her inside and try to keep my eyes above her chest. The white T-shirt she’s wearing is doing little to disguise the fact that she really is a woman. Because of the rain, her shirt clings to her delicious, curvy body and causes her breasts to be more prominent. Even the fact that she’s wearing a sports bra—which is clearly outlined—doesn’t hide the hardness of her nipples. If I’m not careful, she’s going to get an eye full of my groin.

  Sighing, and giving up on trying to hide my limp, I usher her toward the bathroom. Pushing the door open, I say, “There are clean towels on the heater by the shower. Give me a minute and I’ll get you something to change into while we shove your clothes into the dryer.”

  “Thanks, Jace…But what about you?”

  “Me?” I turn and ask.

  “Yeah. You’re just as wet.”

  “Oh, I’ll use the en suite in my bedroom.”

  She smiles. “Okay.”

  I head toward my bedroom and grab some of my clothes for her as I wonder if she was offering to share the bathroom.

  I’m embarrassed that she’s seeing my weakness. We haven’t spent any time together away from the softball field, so the fact that she’s under my skin is a miracle after I’d closed myself off from relationships. My disaster of an ex turned out to be a bitch of a woman, and although, I’m damn glad to be rid of her, it wasn’t easy at the time. Which is why I’d shut myself off.

  Shaking the maudlin thoughts from my head, I quickly grab a pair of my briefs and an academy T-shirt for Savannah. I kind of like the idea of her wearing my clothes. I find that I like it a hell of a lot.

  Meeting her at the bathroom door, my mouth drops to my feet before I can recover, and my voice deserts me. Savannah is wrapped in a bath towel and, I presume, nothing else.

  Fuck!

  She looks flushed.

  I’ve embarrassed her.

  Inhaling, I quickly pass her the clothes and head back to my bedroom before I can do what I so want to do. I want to dip my head and taste her rosy lips. She’s so damn beautiful…and she’s in my home.

  Grabbing a couple of towels from the bathroom, I drape one around my neck and the other, I drop to the bed so I won’t soak it when I drop my ass onto it.

  I sigh in relief when the weight is no longer on my prosthesis. It doesn’t stop the throb of pain running up my thigh, but it eases. Removing my prosthesis, I let it drop to the floor while I rub along my aching thigh. Savannah was partially right, and I have been on my prosthesis more than I should have been. Twisting my knee just made it worse and I’m going to have to suffer for a while.

  Deciding on a quick shower, I reach for the crutches and make my way to my own bathroom. Hopefully the warm water pelting down on me will help ease the tension that my body is wracked with.

  I can hope.

  Savannah

  There’s something erotic about wearing Jace’s briefs against my own naked skin. It’s like he’s caressing me, which is totally wrong, but I can’t get the image of having his hands caressing my heated skin out of my head. I’d certainly love to have him at my mercy while I touched and caressed every inch of him until I knew his body inside and out.

  I’m shy by nature, but something tells me that I won’t be with Jace. He has a way of looking at me that makes me crave his touch. I know in my heart that he’d never leave me frustrated, that he’d always make sure I had my pleasure before he took his own. That would be something new to me.

  Sighing, I wrap my hair into a smaller towel and put it up on the top of my head, but at least it will get some of the wetness out.

  Inhaling, and with a slow exhale, I open the bathroom door and head into the living room.

  Jace isn’t in the room, so I look around and spy a bookcase in the corner by a recliner. Hmm, it will be a recliner all right. I know this without a doubt when I realize the TV is strategically placed opposite.

  Rolling my eyes at the typical guy layout, I brush my hand against the top of his black, leather sofa and make my way over to check out his books…and photographs. His coffee table, sitting on a black and cream rug, is littered with magazines. Spotting the baby magazine makes me smile. Has he been reading up on babies so that he’ll know what he’s doing with his new niece? God, this man is burrowing deeper and deeper into my heart.

  Rubbing my chest, I slowly browse his photographs. There is one of him in his uniform, looking a lot younger—his academy photograph, perhaps? There are one or two of him with another man who I recognize as his brother, Ryder. Just by looking at the photographs, you can see the love that the brothers have for one another. I can’t help grinning at the ones of Jace on the baseball field, in one of which he looks pretty pissed. His hands are on his hips, and his glove thrown at his feet, as he scowls at the person who I’m guessing took the picture.

  Hearing a chuckle behind me, I quickly turn and would have landed on my ass if it wasn’t for Jace’s grip on my arm.

  “You need to make more noise,” I grumble, but can’t help the smile on my lips.

  He’s gorgeous and has changed into a dry shirt and sweats, but it’s his smile that gets me every time. His short hair is damp, telling me he quickly showered.

  Sighing, I wish I’d been under the spray of water with him. I certainly would have made sure he’s clean.

  “Savannah,” he chokes, unable to hide the heat in his eyes, “you need to stop looking at me like that.” His breathing is uneven, and I know all I’d have to do is take that one step into him and there’d be no turning back.

  I can’t do that to us…to Jace…to Richard.

  Until my life is back on track, I can’t take that one step that I know would hurt Richard, and probably Jace. Something tells me that when, not if, I’m with Jace, that he won’t ever let me go.

  Clearing my throat, I turn back to the bookshelf. “I’m enjoying looking at these.” I smile and point to the one where he looks to be having a tantrum.

  He laughs and breaks the tension between us. It’s still there, hovering, but it no longer feels awkward, as though one of us is going to attack the other. Although, I certainly wouldn’t mind being attacked by him.

  “Ryder was bugging the shit outta me on that one. I’d turned around and lost hold of the glove, which didn’t help my temperament right then. It was before a big college game, and I used to get stressed before every game,” his grin widens, “which he knew and abused.” He laughs. “He still bugs the shit outta me.”

  I smile at the fondness in his voice for his younger brother.

  Looking at him from over my shoulder, I point out, “You love him, you rely on him and something tells me if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t be in the place that you’re in today.” I’ve surprised Jace with my assessment so I add, “I’ve seen you both together, there is no way a
nyone wouldn’t realize you’re brothers. It’s nice.”

  “God, Savannah.” He closes his eyes and then opens them again. “You’re driving me crazy… Not only are you in my underwear and shirt, but…Oh, hell.” He runs his hand through his short hair, and all I want to do is stand closer and surround myself with the warmth that is radiating from his body.

  He steps back, which is when I realize he’s using crutches. Glancing down, he’s taken his prosthesis off. Raising my head, I see the embarrassed blush coating his cheekbones, so I do what I’ve wanted to do since the minute we met, more so tonight, and take those steps to bring me up close and personal to him.

  Before he has a chance to move, I wrap my arms around his waist and sigh in pleasure when I rest my head against his chest. Jace pauses, probably with surprise, and then I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders, as his hand tangles in my damp hair now that the towel has been knocked loose.

  I feel him relax against me, and savor the feel of him. There isn’t an inch between us, and every hard contour of his chiseled body is felt against my softness—even the bulging hardness against my hip.

  No matter how hard I try, I can’t resist gently rubbing against him.

  His quick intake of breath has my nipples puckering against Jace, and with a sigh, he pushes me away from him slightly. I stare up into his eyes and I watch him gulp a couple of times before he says, “I want you, Savannah, but I want a lot more than just a quick fuck before sending you on your way to someone else…I don’t share.”

  “Neither do I… Can we sit and talk, or do you want to go to bed?” I cringe at the innuendo in my innocent question. “I mean—”

  “I know what you meant, and yes, I’d like that—to sit and talk.”

  He’s still fighting the attraction between us, and his body is full of arousal for me, just like mine is for him.

  After a once, twice, look over of my body in his clothes, Jace moves away and drops onto the sofa, before looking at me through hooded eyes. “This is probably a bad idea, but I want you in my arms for a bit longer.”

  My heart soars hearing his words. “I’d like that too.”

  I join him on the sofa and, pulling my feet under me, I snuggle against his chest and feel as though I’m home when his arm comes around me.

  This can’t last, or can it?

  Chapter Five

  Jace

  My heart pounds to the beat of my feet on the sidewalk as I chase one of the fuckers who has just gunned down two cops.

  A burst of speed comes from somewhere, as I’m closing the gap, but then he throws himself over the trunk of a parked car.

  Is it his?

  Before I can think, movement from the front catches my attention and has me throwing myself behind an SUV on the opposite side of the road.

  I quickly let dispatch know my position, stand, ready to shoot when I hear four popping noises, and then feel an all-consuming pain in my leg. The fire spreads up my calf to my thigh.

  Dropping to the ground, I look down and realize my lower leg is completely covered with blood. My stomach churns, and my head swims as dizziness washes over me like a wave. I stare at my leg, trying to grasp what I’m seeing—there is so much blood.

  So much pain.

  I’m so tired.

  I need to sleep—just for a minute.

  Something in the back of my mind is telling me to stay awake, but why should I when I’m so tired? Why can’t I close my eyes and sleep?

  “I’ve got you, buddy.”

  I feel arms around my torso as I’m lowered to the ground.

  “Oh, fuck, Jace.”

  Ned.

  He’s going to let me sleep.

  Then a searing pain takes the last semblance of consciousness and…

  I wake up with the bed soaked in sweat, my heart ready to pound out of my chest…my leg feels like it’s on fire.

  I reach for it to rub away the pain and feel nothing but air…my foot…my lower leg is no longer there…but the pain is real and has me twisting in the sheets as I think about that day…about that loss.

  My breathing stays uneven as I gradually realize I’m suffering the after effects of the night it happened. The night my life changed forever. A part of me knows that I’m imagining that pain but I also know that I may always have the feeling of phantom pain.

  Trying to concentrate on my breathing, I imagine that Savannah is waiting for me. She’s a distraction that I hope will calm me down and rid me of the nightmare.

  Last night had been amazing. We’d chatted for over two hours about so many things—books, family, movies, baseball and whatever came up. I appreciated the fact that she hadn’t asked for details about what happened to me, even though I was ready for her questions.

  I’m assuming that my readiness to answer her questions caused my nightmare last night because I haven’t had one for months. Every now and again, something will trigger them and I’ll suffer until I’ve fully woken up. This morning’s episode isn’t dimming the pain as par usual, which continues to shoot fire up my thigh.

  I knew last night that I’d over done it on the prosthesis while suffering a twisted knee. It doesn’t happen often but, when it does, it can be a couple of days before the swelling goes down, depending on how badly my leg is affected. I can usually manage as long as I rest up some.

  Because of my leg, Savannah had insisted on getting a cab back to her place, which hadn’t sat well with me. I’d brought her here, so it should have been me taking her home. It’s something that is now going to niggle at the back of my mind until I’ve corrected it.

  She was right that I’d needed to rest, but my truck is automatic transmission and I don’t need two legs to drive it.

  I guess the kiss she placed to my cheek before she left replaced the wound that I felt at her refusal to have me drive her.

  If I wasn’t in my thirties, and was still a teenager, I’d doubt that I’d have washed my cheek for a week—a month even.

  Gah!

  My fucking leg.

  For two years, I’ve refused to take painkillers. When I’d first been injured, I took them every chance I had…even when I wasn’t hurting. They were strong fuckers and gave me a buzz before knocking me out completely. They were the perfect way to avoid life and everything I was feeling. All I had to do was add alcohol into the mix and then I was numb. I don’t ever want to go back to that place—ever. If it weren’t for Ryder, and eventually my parents, I’d still be there in that place—in that addiction.

  Ryder had bullied me and wouldn’t stop until he got his way. I was a sad excuse for an older brother, someone who was supposed to set an example for him. Yeah, he was the one who shouted the loudest.

  And now, after five years, I’ve finally found another reason to get out of bed every day, and this one actually makes my heart feel lighter and puts a smile on my face. If Ryder were to ever catch me, he’d have ammunition to ride my ass for the rest of my life. I don’t really give a shit, because I’m determined to have Savannah.

  Last night we’d avoided talking about her relationship with Richard. It had been on the tip of my tongue at first, and then we’d gotten so lost in our conversation that he’d left my thoughts. My mind and the moment were all centered on the woman in my arms. She’d felt damn good in them, resting against me. We’d practically been lying on the sofa by the time we’d realized so much time had passed.

  It had hurt to let her go when all I wanted was for her to stay with me.

  I don’t know how she’s gotten under my skin the way she has, but I have a feeling that she’s there to stay.

  Although I’ve never been known to keep my mouth shut, I’ll admit that I’m afraid of asking what she’s going to do about Richard. There’s no way she can stay with him when it’s obvious she has feelings for me.

  What I’d give to have her naked in my bed with her red hair spread around her like a halo.

  Gah, time to get up.

  Inhaling, I swing my legs over the si
de of the bed, and let out a shaky breath of pain that I’m still feeling. I was hoping it would subside with my distracted thoughts.

  I should have known better.

  Pushing myself up, I reach for the crutches, clench my teeth together and head to the bathroom before I go and get some ice.

  The story of my life.

  * * * * *

  My brother’s roadhouse is always busy around lunchtime, and today is no exception. I’m so damn proud of him and what he’s accomplished. I’ve apologized to him on more than one occasion for my harsh words when he’d asked my opinion about this venture. I still wasn’t in such a good place back then, but my words were cruel and I wish that I could take them back.

  I haven’t visited him here all that often because he’s always come to me, but that’s going to change.

  Who’d have thought that my little brother would settle down and start a family before me? It still feels slightly strange, but I’m truly happy for him.

  Out of the crowd, I spot Ryder coming toward me with a grin on his face and his eyes sparkling with happiness. He’s definitely happy that I’m here and so am I...I should come more often.

  “You okay?” He frowns.

  “I’m good or, at least, I will be when the swelling goes down.”

  “Shouldn’t you be resting? I mean, doesn’t your leg need elevating or something?” He waves his arms around toward my legs.

  “Ryder, I’m fine.” I lightly punch him in the arm. “Now, lead the way to your beautiful wife and baby.”

  Now Ryder really does smile, showing me all the love he feels for his new family.

  “Dahlia’s making lunch and Faith is asleep, but will no doubt be awake soon.”

  I follow him through the bar toward the stairs that lead to the apartment they live in.

  It isn’t ideal, especially having to lug the stroller up and down the stairs all the time, which is why my brother is already on the hunt for a house. He wanted it to be a surprise but Dahlia ended up coming home with realtor brochures the same day as Ryder had.

  Ryder looks at me over his shoulder with trepidation when we get to the stairs. If I weren’t as fit as I am, then we’d have a problem. With my upper body strength, getting to the top of the steep stairs isn’t a problem, which I prove.