Sinful

by Lexi Buchanan

  That thought drives through my senses and I move my groin out of reach. “I can’t…Fuck, Savannah…”

  Panting through my arousal, I try and get myself under control before I step away from the beautiful woman that I want to keep in my arms.

  “Call me tomorrow.” I pick the napkin up from the steps and glance back at Savannah. “No matter what time, you call me.”

  She nods. “I will.”

  Savannah

  Richard was elusive all afternoon yesterday. I very rarely message him while he’s at work, but I at least expected him to acknowledge my message.

  I just don’t know why he’s being so damn quiet. He’s never quiet, and always has a thing about being on the ball with messages. In fact, he’s so reliable with answering messages quickly that he can’t understand why anyone would wait to reply until they have twice as many messages to reply to. I kind of see his logic, and for once, he isn’t using it.

  The talk that I need to have with him needs to be finished, and it’s something that should have happened long before now.

  Sighing, I palm my cell and roll it around while I decide what to do. My heart pounds with the thoughts of confronting Richard, but I need to get it out of the way.

  Before I lose my nerve, I shoot him a quick message, hoping he acknowledges this one.

  Are you free to come over?

  Wondering whether or not to send Jace a message, I feel my face flush. I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on a boy. I’m certainly not a schoolgirl, but I do have a crush on a man—a very sexy man. I need to be free to be with him.

  I’m not one for reacting rashly, but Jace and I have been dancing around each other since we first met. After our brief time together, I realize his attraction for me is a lot more than mere lust, which is returned by me tenfold.

  I need to message him, but what should I say? Ask? I’m completely new to this and don’t want to make an ass of myself.

  One thing I do know is that I really want to see him today—a lot.

  I’ve nothing to lose I guess, so with that thought in mind, I shoot him a text.

  Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee or something later?

  I hit send before I can change my mind. Perhaps I should have called. Maybe. I’m so hopeless at this. Hopefully, he won’t laugh at me.

  My cell beeps.

  Inhaling, I check my cell and can’t prevent the huge smile that lights up my face when Jace’s name is on the notification screen.

  I quickly open his message.

  I’d love to. Do you want to meet me at Kix, Ryder’s roadhouse? J x

  My answer doesn’t need thinking about as I reply.

  Yes. In a couple of hours? S x

  He sent me a kiss, so why not send one back?

  I’m here already, so whenever you’re free. I’ll wait for you. J x

  I think I’m about to melt into a puddle on the chair. ‘He’ll wait for me.’

  Closing my eyes, I relax back into the chair and snuggle down. If only he knew that I was still wearing his academy T-shirt. He’d made me wear it home the other night because I’d left my shirt in his bathroom, so it had missed going in the dryer. Jace had told me to keep it, and keep it I am. I’ve slept in it since and put it back on after my shower this morning.

  I’ve no problem with Richard seeing me in it, if he should read my message and come around, because he gave me one a while back, which is still in the bottom of my drawer. He doesn’t need to know that.

  I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I mean, I’ve never once been craving the company of another man while I’ve been dating another—never. Although, I’m not even sure I’m dating Richard, regardless of the fact that I’m wearing his ring. I can’t even remember the last time we went out to dinner, the movies, or anywhere for that matter.

  Hearing a vehicle pulling into the driveway, I switch my cell to silent and slip it into my back pocket as I clamber to my feet. As the engine cuts out, I realize that it’s Richard.

  My nerves come rushing back to hit me in the stomach. I can do without this, but it’s best to get it out of the way. I can’t keep craving Jace, and seeing him while I’m engaged to another man. It isn’t fair to either of them, especially Richard.

  “Hey.” Richard walks inside as though he owns the place, dropping his keys in the tray by the door. “I got your message. I was already on my way over. What do you want to talk about?” He moves forward and goes to kiss me on the lips, but I move my head at the last minute.

  Moving away from him, I put the sofa between us and nervously fiddle with the top of the cushion. He doesn’t seem impressed, and the tick at the side of his jaw tells me he’s getting angry.

  Holding my breath, I rush out, “I can’t marry you.” I wince at the bluntness. “I mean—”

  “You can’t marry me,” Richard repeats. “What do you mean you can’t marry me? What’s changed?” His eyes narrow, as his fists clench at his sides.

  My nerves dance inside me and I find myself staring at the front door…at escape from him. I’ve seen him this way a few times but he’d always held things in check. For the first time, I wonder if he can control himself completely. I take a deep breath and, instead of backing off and staying quiet, I continue with the words that I’ve been rehearsing for months, “We haven’t been intimate since you put the engagement ring on my finger. Now that I’m not lost in grief, I realize we don’t have anything in common. We hardly ever talk…I’ll always be grateful for you for being there when my father died, but I can’t marry you out of gratitude, and you shouldn’t want that either. You should want to be with someone who loves you, and who you love.” My heart is pounding now that I’ve had my say. I’m also afraid of how he’s going to react because he’s angry—very angry.

  Not only has his jaw tightened, but his face has gone red with anger and his hands are in tight fists by his hips.

  “Don’t presume to know my feelings.” He glares at me while his breathing is getting heavier. “Who is he?” He steps around the sofa and grabs hold of my arm before I can get my feet moving.

  “Don’t—” I beg as he slams me into the wall. Stars dance in my vision and I gasp around the pain in my back from being shoved.

  His other hand comes up and he grips both my arms, painfully, while his hips keep me pinned to the wall.

  The blood rushes through my ears as fear grips me. I’m trying to tell myself that he really won’t hurt me, but he already is. His fingers digging into my arms are hurting—a lot. As he gets in my face, my heart thuds in fear. This isn’t the man I was engaged to, or maybe he is and I just never saw this side of him.

  “Jace,” he snarls. “I should have known. I’ve seen the way he watches you.”

  I can’t have him blaming Jace. I know my attraction to Jace opened my eyes to the relationship I’m in, but I don’t want the blame laying at his feet. So with that in mind, I whisper, “It’s not Jace.”

  He pauses before throwing his head back and laughing. It stops as suddenly as it started. “You seriously expect me to believe that? If you do, then you’re not as bright as I thought you were.”

  Pulling back, he slams me back into the wall and I wince at the pain blossoming in my head.

  “The crippled bastard can’t keep his eyes off you.”

  I swallow back the tears but I can feel my anger overriding my fear. “Don’t you call him that,” I say spitting mad. “You’re a grown man, not a child.”

  He yanks me away from the wall before slamming me back into it again. The shock and pain knock my breath out of me.

  “I’m going.” He releases me, and glares as I slide down the wall to the floor. “If I stay, I’m going to seriously hurt you.” He takes a step back, and then another before he turns and leaves.

  Within seconds, I hear his car engine start before he tears out of the drive.

  What the hell just happened? I guess I knew he harbored a lot of anger but to be confronted with it scared the shit
out of me.

  Frozen to the floor, I realize that I have tears rolling down my face and, reaching up to wipe them away with my fingers, I gasp in pain. My upper arms, where Richard held me, hurt when I move.

  Feeling sorry for myself, I get to my knees, pull myself up with the back of the sofa, and wince. Not only are my arms throbbing, but my shoulders feel tender.

  Moving slowly to my bedroom, I struggle to get my T-shirt off and when I do, my tears are back with a vengeance. My legs give out as I collapse against the bed and let them fall. I bury my face in the comforter as I push myself further onto the bed and curl up while I sob.

  I wish Jace were here to hold me. To tell me everything would be okay, and that he wouldn’t let Richard near me again. But I’m seeing Jace soon and he’ll know something happened. He’ll only need to take one look at me to know there’s something wrong. I wish I could hide my feelings. My uncle once told me that I have the most expressive face he’s ever seen.

  Gently turning onto my other side, I roll from the bed and head into the bathroom to clean myself up and to survey the damage to my body. With how I’m aching, I know there is going to be bruising. I bruise easily, so I guess after what Richard has just done, it goes without saying that I’m going to be wearing a few new shades for a while.

  Turning the faucet on, I splash the cool water onto my face a few times before grabbing a towel to pat myself dry. It takes a lot, but I finally face myself in the mirror and look at my forearms. My heart sinks. Richard’s fingers are imprinted in my arms in great big ugly bruises that are quickly turning darker as I watch. Closing my eyes, I slowly turn and look back over my shoulder and see the bruising spreading along my shoulder blades.

  Inhaling, I refuse to cry again. He hurt me and I need to deal with it. The first thing I do toward dealing with it is to remove the ring he gave me. I’d love nothing more than to flush it down the toilet, but no matter how tempted I am to do that, I place it in the top cupboard and close it inside. I also need to find someone to replace the locks throughout the house. Richard has keys and I’m assuming he took them with him.

  At least it’s over, and I really hope that Richard stays away because as far as I’m concerned, I’ve said what I needed to say and ended our relationship, or whatever else you could have called it. He needs to deal with that and I hope he deals with it without visiting me again.

  I’ve no wish to ever see him again after what he’s just done, which is why a courier to return his ring is sounding good right now.

  Opening my closet, I pull my softball shirt out and grit my teeth while slipping my arms inside the soft fabric. I love this shirt and it’s a bit tatty around the edges, but it’s comfortable and kind of a security blanket.

  Taking a deep breath, I think my first stop will be the children’s home on my way to see Jace. I’ve found that I’ve been unable to stay away from Golden Circle ever since I met Tammy. My heart fills with love for her every time I see the sweet, little girl. The children there will help settle me a lot more than I am now.

  Sighing, I slip my feet into my purple ballerina pumps and make my way outside.

  Everything is going to be okay.

  It has to be.

  Chapter Nine

  Jace

  “Will you settle down…? Geez man, where the fuck are your balls?” Ryder sits opposite, shaking his head.

  I grin when Dahlia comes up behind him and smacks him upside the head. “You mean to tell me that you’ve never acted like your brother is right now?”

  He glares at her while she waits for his answer with her hands on her hips.

  “Damn straight, I’ve never acted, um, maybe,” he finishes sheepishly as he pulls Dahlia down onto his lap.

  “Ignore him, Jace. He just likes ribbing you.”

  “Hey, now. It’s a brother’s right to screw with his brother¸ and I’ve waited a long time to witness him fall.”

  Dahlia straddles my brother and I have a feeling that I have minutes before they’re getting it on.

  “I think you need to stop screwing with your brother, and screw your wife instead.”

  Oh, God!

  I chuckle. “TMI. TMI.”

  “Jace, don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

  “Nope.” I relax back in the chair, knowing he hasn’t finished trying to get rid of me.

  “Stubborn,” he growls, and grabbing hold of Dahlia’s ass, stands and keeps her against him.

  We all turn at the knock at the door.

  “She’s here.” Dahlia grins, and wiggles free of the hold Ryder has on her. “I’ll let her in.”

  I ignore my brother as he tries to get himself under control now that Dahlia isn’t standing in front of him. Instead, I watch the hallway and wait for the first glimpse of my woman.

  “Hi, you must be Savannah. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dahlia, come in.”

  Savannah steps into the apartment and my heart thuds in my chest at the sight of her. Her red curls are loose and fall around her shoulders and down her back to her waist.

  She glances around the room and then her eyes settle on me. “Jace?” She walks over and rests her hand on my arm.

  I frown when I realize that she’s relieved to be here with me.

  What’s going on?

  I search her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  She smiles. “I am now.”

  Hearing a throat being cleared, I smile and take hold of Savannah’s hand. “You remember, Ryder?”

  “I do.” She turns her attention to my brother. “It’s nice to see you again.”

  He grins and tugs his wife back into his arms. “It’s good to see you again. This is my wife, Dahlia. She has been itching to meet you…Isn’t that right, Honey?”

  “Savannah, you need to ignore my brother.” I caress her fingers and pause…her engagement ring is missing. I meet her eyes, and see the small smile hovering around her lips.

  I’m stupid for telling her to meet me here where we can’t have any privacy to talk.

  “Um, you guys get comfortable on the sofa and we’ll give you some privacy while we check on Faith.” Ryder gives me a wink before his hand tightens on his wife’s hip.

  Without another word, Ryder drags Dahlia into their bedroom. I have a feeling they’re going to be finishing what they started not too long ago while they wait for Faith to wake up for her feeding.

  “Come and sit down. I’m guessing you managed to talk to Richard since your ring’s missing?” I keep hold of her hand and make sure she sits on the sofa before I drop down beside her. “God. I forgot how much you sink into this thing.”

  “I like it. It’s comfortable, I could sleep on this.”

  Wanting her in my arms again, I wrap my arm around her and pull her against me, but the hiss that escapes her lips gives me pause. “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Savannah, a woman saying nothing usually means the exact opposite. Please talk to me. Have you hurt your arm?”

  She refuses to meet my gaze.

  “Savannah?” She has me worried and doesn’t appear to want to talk to me, which tells me someone else is responsible for her pain.

  Pushing myself up from the cushions, I turn to my side. “Savannah, please face me, baby.”

  As she does, her eyes are swimming with unshed tears. My hands cup her face, and leaning forward, I kiss each eye. “Tell me,” I encourage.

  She gently nods. “I told Richard that I couldn’t marry him, and he was angry.”

  “What the fuck did he do to you? I’ll fucking kill him for putting his hands on you.” I’m angry now, and it’s taking everything I have to not show how angry I am. No one touches my girl.

  “He held me tight while he got in my face. He…he knows that you’re in my life. I mean, well, I hope that you’re going to be in my life. He assumed it was you—the reason why I can’t marry him.”

  I offer her a gentle smile. “I am in your life, and you’re in mine. Don’t ever think otherwise. I kn
ow everything seems to be happening at once, but I need you to know that this, between us, is so much more.” I kiss her on the tip of her nose. “I’d rather be kissing your lips, but if I start, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop.”

  She reaches out to me, and winces in pain again. It’s killing me seeing her like this. A part of me can’t forgive myself for not being around to protect her from the bastard.

  I reach for the bottom of her shirt. “I need to see exactly what he did to you.” I meet her gaze and when she nods, I help her out of her shirt.

  I try not to gaze at her breasts, which are encased in a sexy, pink, lacy bra as I take in the fingerprints on her forearms. “Oh, God, Babe…I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to prevent this.” My fingers gently caress over the marks. “Did he hurt you anywhere else?”

  She hesitates, which tells me he did.

  “My shoulder blades…He shoved me back into the wall.”

  “Show me.”

  Savannah starts to turn and mid-turn, I take hold of her hips and pull her closer to me so that she’s practically sitting on my knee. I move her curls over her shoulder, and then I see the bruising. The bastard must have shoved her with some force.

  Leaning into her, I feather kisses over each of the large bruises and find I don’t want to stop. I love the feel of her skin under my hands, which are locked on her hips, and under my lips. I could do a lot with my mouth and Savannah.

  Those thoughts are going to get me in to trouble today, but right now, I want to take care of her. She’s hurting and I want to give her a new memory.

  Continuing to kiss her, I move up to the nape of her neck, nuzzle my nose against her and smile when she sighs in pleasure.

  “He wants to be shot for laying his hands on you.”

  I kiss along her neck and shoulder, bending further to kiss the marks on her arms before moving back to her neck.

  Her delicate earlobe calls to me.

  Sliding my hands to her stomach, I play with her earlobe and notice the goose bumps breaking out on her skin.

  Having my hands and mouth on her isn’t causing goose bumps in me, but it has my erection trying to punch free of my shorts. Before too long, it’s going to be obvious with only one move by Savannah.