Sinful

by Lexi Buchanan

  “Jace.”

  “Richard…why don’t you introduce me to your friend?” I grin.

  Richard clears his throat and makes the introductions, keeping one of his arms around the small woman beside him.

  Erin is completely different from Savannah, which makes me wonder what he’s up to, or perhaps he got caught after a one-time deal and is now being forced to do the honorable thing.

  Where Savannah is curvy with long, red locks, Erin is reed thin, apart from her swollen stomach and has a brown bob. They’re about the same height, but that is the only similarity.

  “You going to play today?” I ask Richard, to fill in the awkward gap. If it wasn’t for Erin being with him, I’d probably be acting like a dick about now, but Erin looks so out of place that I hold back. She looks as though she’d burst into tears if anyone said boo to her.

  “Not today.” Richard sighs. “Erin has a doctor’s appointment in an hour so we’re heading over there.” He fidgets.

  Deciding I’d rather be doing something else instead of making small talk with him, I quickly ask, “Is everything ironed out for the game?”

  “It is. Ned is coordinating the refreshment trucks with Clint. As of this morning, we’ve sold over one hundred and seventy-five tickets so it’s looking good.” He actually smiles.

  And no matter how pissed I am with him over how he treated Savannah, I return his smile. At the end of the day, he’s spent his time doing the majority of the organizing for the event as well as selling tickets, so I can’t fault him for that.

  “That’s great. I’ll be purchasing about twelve tickets during the coming week. If you want to leave some at Kix, I’m sure my brother wouldn’t mind pushing the sale of them there.”

  “Okay, thanks…We need to get going.” He starts edging away with Erin’s hand in his.

  “Catch you later,” I call out to his back.

  “You actually talked to that fucker?” Ryder asks to my right.

  “What is it with you and sneaking up on me?”

  “It’s the only way I find out things.”

  Sometimes I wonder whether he really did serve in the Marines with his childish behavior, although Dahlia has once insisted he really is a big kid, but is apparently, ten times worse around me.

  “I volunteered you for something.” I give him the grin that means trouble.

  He frowns.

  “I told Richard you’ll help sell the tickets to the game at Kix.”

  “Shit, is that all? You had me worried.” He takes his ball cap off, and after scratching his head, places it back into position. “I don’t mind doing that, after all, the money is for a good cause.”

  “Yeah, it is,” I agree, and wonder what he’s thinking now as he’s gone quiet and looks serious.

  “About Savannah,” he starts, “you realize it’s been three years since you gave me the black eye, right?”

  “Ryder, we’ve been over this.”

  “Hear me out. Why can’t you try by spending the night on the sofa, or even in her bed? You can make her promise that the minute you wake her with a nightmare that she’ll quickly leave the room. I tried to bring you out of it and you thought you needed to defend yourself. If she isn’t there or doesn’t do what I did, don’t you think she’d be safe?”

  I’ve thought long and hard about what Ryder is suggesting, and I’m almost there in thinking I could handle that. “What if Savannah can’t abide to see me like that, and doesn’t listen? What then?” This is what worries me and keeps me from suggesting this to her.

  “You need to make it clear that you will only spend the night if she promises. Stress to her how important it is to ignore you… Wait? You always keep your cell beside the bed, right?”

  I nod.

  “So have Savannah leave hers in the kitchen or someplace else, and if you should have a nightmare, you can suggest she leaves the room and calls your cell. That’s pulled you back before. Why wouldn’t it again? That way she’s helping you but at a safe distance.”

  He amazes me sometimes. “You know, one minute you act like you’re five and the next, you act like you’re older than me.”

  “I’m full of wisdom.” He smirks.

  “Thanks, Ryder. I’ll think about what you said.”

  “Well, think a bit quicker because our ladies are here.” He smacks me on the back before he heads over to open the car door for Dahlia.

  A fist grips my heart until Savannah steps out and offers me a megawatt smile.

  Savannah

  Seeing Jace for the first time in three days makes my heart feel lighter. I’ve shed tears while I’ve been researching PTSD and want nothing more than to cure him—I know that isn’t possible, but it would be nice.

  I hope the smile that I have plastered on my face is conveying to him just how much I’ve missed him. It’s only been days, but knowing what I do made our separation all the more difficult. I’d wanted to stay with him and to help him, but he was right in the end. I needed time to take it all in and to think. There was never a question as to whether or not I could live with Jace having PTSD, but I guess from his point of view, he wanted me to be sure.

  There’s only one-way to be sure though, and that’s by actually doing. We need to live together for a trial period, or at least start spending the night together. I’m certainly all for trying and I really hope he is too.

  Making my way over to where he seems to be fixed to the ground, I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on tight.

  Feeling his arms going around my shoulders, everything seems to right itself. All I want is Jace, and to stay where I am. He makes me feel like I can accomplish anything when I’m with him.

  He buries his face into my neck and breathes me in. I love it when he does this. It’s as though he’s inhaling my scent to carry me with him when we’re apart.

  His lips caress my face before our eyes meet. I feel all his love, hope, and longing in his gaze.

  Cupping his cheek in my hand, I smooth the lines of worry from beneath his eye, and standing on tiptoes, place a gentle kiss to his lips. “We’ll talk later,” I whisper. “But, God, I’ve missed you.”

  His hand cups the back of my neck while his thumb caresses my jaw. “Not as much as I’ve missed you,” he counters, and then the beautiful smile he has in his arsenal spreads across his face.

  He places a kiss to my nose before stepping back and taking hold of my hand.

  I glance down at our entwined hands, and smile before meeting the possessive look on his face.

  “Everything is going to be okay, Jace.” My confidence in that is total, and I think Jace is starting to believe me…and trust me.

  “Thank God you’re here, Savannah,” Ryder interrupts. “He’s been moping around like a love-sick fool waiting for you. Wanting to know why you were off alone with my hot wife.” He grins.

  Jace roars with laughter, and instead of holding my hand, he wraps his arm around my neck to bring me in close to his body.

  “Ignore him, Savannah. He’s been trying to figure out why Dahlia told him he couldn’t go to lunch with you both. I told him it was so Dahlia could moan to you about him.”

  I roll my eyes at the two of them.

  “Jace Stone, stop putting ideas in my husband’s head.” Dahlia wraps her arms around Ryder’s neck, and clings to him in one hell of a lip lock. When they break for air, she adds, “That’s kind of what we were talking about.”

  I laugh at the look on Ryder’s face. “Kissing.”

  “Sex,” Dahlia blurts, and turns to wink at me.

  “Hmm, sex sounds good,” Jace whispers into my ear.

  “Later.” I kiss his chest. “Don’t you have a game?” I nod over to the field where a few players have already taken their positions.

  Jace groans. “I better head over there.” He kisses the top of my head. “Don’t disappear on me.”

  “I won’t. Go show them how it’s really done.”

  He smacks me on the ass and runs off to
join his team, which leaves me to follow Dahlia and Ryder to the stands to watch the game.

  It’s amazing watching Jace in action; the speed at which he runs, the way he dives onto second base. Everything he does, he does with so much strength behind it and gives his all. But for the short pants that he’s wearing, I don’t think anyone would realize he was wearing a prosthesis. He’s amazing.

  “So, what did you talk about?”

  I overhear Ryder and Dahlia talking, and I doubt that Ryder will give it a rest until he knows word for word.

  “You are being stupid,” Dahlia replies. “It was a girl’s lunch. That is all. Stop being a pain in the butt.” Dahlia laughs, “And if you’re good, I’ll let you kiss mine later.”

  “Now you’re talking, babe.”

  Clearing my throat, I turn and look at the two of them with a grin on my face. Ryder just returns my grin at me while Dahlia winks and starts to laugh.

  Shaking my head, I continue to watch the game and ignore the two beside me who are making kissing noises.

  The lunch with Dahlia had been really good. We’d chatted about the men—goes without saying—which had turned into a conversation about sex. She is so damn funny that the ideas I have in my head might only be possible if I had four arms, and that was without any alcohol touching our mouths—although, one idea for seduction will be tried out, and hopefully soon.

  Jace makes me sweat just watching him out there on the field—the flex of his muscles as he jumps and strains to reach up to catch the ball, the way his pants fit around his ass and cling to his thighs like a second skin—and I can’t help imagining him without his clothes.

  “Hmm, I bet I only need one guess as to what you’re thinking about.” Dahlia smirks.

  “And you’d be right.” I chuckle, and head down the stand to meet Jace, who has run over with happiness all over his face.

  When we meet, he pulls me straight into his arms. He holds me close for a brief moment before he wraps his arm around my waist.

  “Did you enjoy watching us?”

  “Oh yes,” I give him a sultry look, which wipes the smile from his face and replaces it with pure lust. “I especially couldn’t keep my mind from wandering to places that it shouldn’t while around others.”

  He groans, and whispers, “You’re a naughty girl.”

  “You planning on spanking me?” I tease.

  He’s like a fish out of water with the way his mouth is opening and shutting, so I continue in a low sultry voice that only he can hear, “So you’d like having me in lacy thigh-highs with a garter belt and no panties…bent over.”

  “Fucking hell!” he curses, and turns me fully into him. I smile when I realize my words have him rock hard against my stomach.

  Smiling, I ask, “Are you free to leave because I think we really need to talk…first?”

  He kisses my forehead. “Yeah. We can go. Let me just talk to the guys.” He lets me go and starts backing away before walking back toward me with his gorgeous smile in place. “Come meet the guys with me.” Although he seems confident, his smile wavers—he’s nervous.

  We haven’t spoken about what is going to happen as we hopefully move forward together, but I guess from my reaction today, he already knows I’m going to be with him. Anything else is unacceptable.

  Smiling, I take his offered hand. “Lead the way.”

  And that’s when I truly know that I’ll be with him for as long as he’ll have me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jace

  Sitting out on the back deck of my house with Savannah is the end to a perfect day. No matter what happens next, I’m confident that she’s going to be here with me for the foreseeable future—forever, if I have my way. Right now, while she’s sitting between my thighs on the sun lounger, I have no intention of ever letting her go again.

  She’s the most important person in my life, and even though I’ve figured out she isn’t planning on walking away, I need to make her realize just how important she is regardless of the screwed up life I live.

  In fact, I’m almost lulled into believing that we’re a normal couple, enjoying the end of a beautiful summer’s day. I can dream. I’m always dreaming.

  “Hey,” Savannah swivels her head to look at me over her shoulder, “what’s with the heavy sigh?” She frowns.

  “I hadn’t realized I had.” I pull her back against my chest, and hold her close.

  It’s too peaceful to tell her what’s on my mind—the worry I have over what she’s going to say, even though her actions give me hope. But we need to get it out of the way.

  Get it out of the way.

  “Hmm, Jace, I know we need to talk and I think, so we both can fully relax, we need to just go for it.”

  We even think the same…sometimes.

  Resting my chin on the top of her head, I place a gentle kiss and then get the conversation going, “I want to try with you, Savannah. The nights. I want every damn thing with you, and it’s killing me that I might not be able to give it to you.”

  “Oh, Jace.” She turns and straddles me, which I don’t think is such a good idea while we’re trying to have a serious talk.

  Cupping my face, she rests her forehead against mine. “Don’t you know,” she whispers, “that I believe you’re capable of doing anything you set your mind to. You might have had Ryder behind you, but you’ve gotten your life back on track. You wanted me and you’ve got me. I believe you can do anything.”

  Swallowing back my emotion at her words, the confidence she has in me could very well unman me.

  “It isn’t going to be easy,” I admit, although reluctantly.

  “Nothing worth having in life is easy. We’re in this together, Jace. You and me.”

  “Thank you.” I pull her down, and hold her against me. As she gets comfortable, my hand caresses her back and my fingers comb through her silken strands. Every time we’re together, her hair is always glossy and begs for my touch, just like the woman herself.

  “We’re going to have to set some grounds rules,” I start, and hate myself for this weakness, but it’s the only way I feel it can work between us, “for the sleeping all through the night together to work.”

  “I’ll do anything, Jace.” She lifts her head and lets me see how determined she is, and, if I’m honest, seeing her now makes me realize just how much she wants me.

  “If I wake you because I’m having a nightmare, you have to promise me that you’ll quickly get out of the bed and lock yourself in the bathroom.” I tighten my hold. “I don’t want to frighten you, but it’s the only way I’m going to try us being together all night. I can’t accept hurting you so if you promise me that you’ll leave without trying to wake me, then I’ll try to do this. I want your cell in the bathroom during the night—always. Ryder suggested that you get out and use your cell to call mine, which I’ll leave in the bedroom. Hopefully, the noise will get through to me. He reckons if you do that, then you’ll feel like you’re helping and might be able to get yourself clear of the bedroom.”

  The silence now that I’ve had my say is frightening, but Savannah still has her arms wrapped around me and if anything, the hold is tighter than before.

  Stop doubting her!

  “I’m not going to say it will be easy leaving you, but if that’s the only way you’ll stay, then I promise, Jace. I just want to be with you, and if I do as you suggested and keep my cell in the bathroom, then I can try and help that way, right?”

  “Yeah,” I agree, and feel my heart pound with the decision we’re making.

  This might not seem like much to someone looking in, but to me it’s huge and terrifying. I’m not even sure what we’re planning on doing will work but giving it a go is the only option, because I can’t lose Savannah.

  Savannah moves away slightly, and says with determination, “Jace, we can do this…and most importantly, I trust you. Please remember that.”

  “I will.” I caress her beautiful face.

  Her stomach
rumbling breaks the tension that was crackling in the air surrounding us, and we both laugh.

  “Did you mention barbecue?” She grins.

  “I did.”

  Feeling more light-hearted than I have in a long time, I start to follow Savannah into the house when I see her puttering around my kitchen. Not wanting to interrupt her, I lean against the open doorway and watch my beautiful firecracker.

  Savannah

  The chicken, vegetables, and potatoes are sizzling away on the barbecue while I lie back in the hammock out in Jace’s backyard. Until he’d brought me out here earlier, I’d had no idea this oasis was hiding behind his house.

  The grass is green with no dirt patches, the shrubs are clipped back, and what looks to be fruit trees form a tunnel toward where he has a large water feature. He also has another set of cast iron table and chairs spread out back there. I find that I’m still a little surprised to find all this hidden.

  “What are you thinking about with that beautiful smile on your face?” he asks, his happiness clear for me to see.

  Returning his smile, I admit, “I’m thinking about your yard. It’s amazing and must have taken a long time to get like this.”

  He nods, unable to hide the delight my pleasure in his backyard has brought him. “It took a couple of years, and it’s only been finished for about eighteen-months. It started off as something to do, something to take my mind off everything, and it took on a life of its own. I’m proud of it.”

  I smile. “And so you should be. My favorite part is the small orchard you have and the look of the water feature as you peer through…it has a calming effect.”

  Taking a long drink of his longneck, he agrees, “It is. Many nights I’ll sit by the water and watch the fish swimming around. It’s relaxing.”

  I sit up. “Wait… You have fish?”

  Now I get the panty-dropping grin. “Yeah, I have fish.”

  About to jump up and go see, he stills me with his hand. “We’ll eat and then we’ll go down there… I have a surprise that you’ll like even more than fish.”

  Raising a brow, I comment, “Oh.”

  He chuckles. “Not that kind of surprise.”

  Now as the light evening breeze caresses over me, I’m more curious than ever, but Jace is staying quiet about the surprise. I doubt I’m going to get any clues from him until he’s ready.