Death's Queen (The Complete Series)

by Janeal Falor

  “Daros was in cahoots with Ranen. They were the ones after your life.”

  “It can't be.”

  But it is. “Daros is out there. Waiting for me.”

  Acknowledgments

  When writing acknowledgments, I always feel humbled by the amount of talent that helps me make a book what it is. The people who help me are beyond fantastic. I couldn’t make my books what they are without them.

  I would have to write a whole other book in and of itself to thank Sotia Lazu for all the help she gives me. She is amazingly wonderful and assists me through so much. From the outline to the finished product, this book would not be what it is without her.

  Jessie Wolf has wonderful feedback, helpful comments, and tons of grammar finds. Her help is invaluable in making my book the best it can be. A big thanks to Yesenia Vargas for proofreading and catching some continuity errors. You help me feel like I can put my book out into the world.

  And most of all, my family. They are incredibly supportive, giving me time to work, listening to my ideas, and help to encourage me. My children are so patient and kind. They are my best supporters, telling everyone about my books. Erik, you are beyond anything words can say. I would scour the Earth to find you. Love you all!

  Death’s Embrace

  by

  Janeal Falor

  To Erik

  For loving me always

  Chapter 1

  “A couple claiming to be your parents is here to see you.” The servant waits calmly, belying what I feel at his words.

  “What did you say?” I'm shocked out of my thoughts. It can’t have been what I think he said.

  “Two people who say they are your parents are here to see you. They have been waiting a rather long time and are quite persistent. I've checked for weapons, and they have none.”

  I sit back in the chair in the sitting room that’s been mine for the past few weeks ever since Ranen entered my old room through a secret tunnel. We never did find the tunnel. This new room is made up to my taste. Simple clean lines, comfortable furnishings, a carpet, and a little more space so my ladies-in-waiting don’t have to squish in as much when we meet in here. And space for sparring with Nash, if we ever get the chance again. Not that anyone else knows about that.

  My mind switches back to what the servant said. It’s hard to comprehend. There's no way they are my parents. Is there? I’m tempted to have him tell the couple that they should return when I’m holding an audience in the throne room, but I’m not sure I want the entire court and anyone else to hear this, Instead, I say, “Send them to me. And tell Nash Zorris he’s wanted as well.” Because I don’t want to do this alone.

  With a bow, the servant leaves. I drum my fingers on my thigh, wondering if this is why Inkga suggested I wear a dress she designed today. She seems to have a sixth sense about these things. She would have me look my best to meet this couple, whoever they are.

  My parents.

  Can it really be?

  No. Daros said I had no parents, leading me to believe they had died. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time he lied to me.

  I jump to my feet and pace. The two windows show the grounds below and part of the lake. I’m on the second story now, at my insistence because it is safer. No more men crashing through the window. Though they could still come up, it’ll be harder for them to do so. Plus, it’s easier for me to get on the roof at night if I want, though I haven’t done so in a while.

  The clock on the wall chimes, but I don’t pay attention to the hour. I avoid the low table that holds the treats the cook likes to send up whenever I have guests. I never partake, but my company seems to enjoy them. Well, once they get over the fact that I'm not eating with them. There’s also a discreet door in one corner that leads to my bedroom. It’s much like this room, though with a bed, dresser, and vanity instead of chairs.

  The servant returns. “They’re here, Your Majesty. Shillian and Carver Nilmac.”

  My chest constricts. “And Nash?”

  “On his way, Your Ladyship.”

  “They can wait until after he arrives. I would like to speak with him first.”

  After he exits the room, I continue pacing. I put a hand on each of the daggers at my waist to make certain they’re still here. It's not like they could go anywhere, but their presence gives me a certain reassurance. There are more on me, but I don’t bother checking them.

  I glance at the clock. What is taking Nash so long? He used to always be here when I needed him, but more and more, I’m waiting on him. He's changed since his kidnapping, but I don't want to say anything because of what he went through. Things might be different if I reinstated him as my Head Advisor, but I wanted to give him time to readjust after being tortured by Ranen and Daros’s men.

  That sick feeling I get every time I think of those men pummels me—Ranen because I killed him when I promised myself never to kill again, and Daros because he’s still out there, hunting me. Both because of what they did to Nash. I shove the thoughts aside. The sick feeling eases but doesn’t depart.

  Where is he? It’s been fifteen minutes.

  I’m about to ask the servant for an update when there’s a knock at the door. “Come in.”

  Nash enters. My heart skips a beat, like it always does when I see him. The man I care about is here.

  The man I love.

  His hair has grown out some—though it’s still short—and his bruises have faded. But he's gaunt, and there's something disturbing in the way he won’t meet my eyes. Despite that, he’s all muscle. He exercises and practices his swordplay more than ever. From the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, that’s probably where he was. Hopefully, he’s not too upset at my interrupting.

  “You needed me?” he asks.

  My heart gives a painful squeeze. I want to go to him and kiss away the pain in his gaze, but I stay rooted to my spot. “There are some people here saying they are my parents.”

  His eyebrows rise. “I thought they passed away.”

  “So did I. Either these two are trying to get close to me because I’m the queen, or Daros lied.”

  “You haven’t talked to them yet?”

  “I waited for you, if you don’t mind sitting in on the conversation.”

  His response takes a moment. “Since Jem’s your Head Advisor, you should probably ask her.”

  “I’d prefer if you were here.”

  His mouth twitches, but he doesn’t smile. He never smiles anymore. “I’ll stay.”

  “Thank you.”

  I take a seat in my usual cushy chair, and he tells the servant to show them in before sitting on my right.

  The servant knocks, enters, bows, and says, “Presenting Shillian and Carver Nilmac.”

  Nilmac. Is that my last name? I pinch my fingers together, then unclench them when I realize what I’m doing.

  The man I assume is Carver walks in, tall and gangly, with cold blue eyes, a rounded face, and long arms and fingers. He’s wearing brown pants and boots with a cream-colored shirt and walks in with an air that says he’s the one who belongs on the throne instead of me. His gaze jumps all over the room.

  Following after him is the woman, Shillian. She has dark brown hair, blue eyes, and a long face. She's pale, except her cheeks, which are heavy on the rouge. She’s wearing a white blouse and a red skirt that makes me want to cringe because of its bloody color.

  They both bow and curtsy.

  “Your Majesty, thank you for agreeing to see us.” The man’s voice is deep but scratchy.

  I motion for them to rise. “I understand you think you are my parents.”

  “We are, Your Highness,” he says.

  The woman remains silent behind him, but her gaze is rattling, though I can't place why.

  “You are mistaken. I have no parents.” They unnerve me, making me vacillate between wanting them not to have arrived here and wishing they’d shown up sooner.

  “I know it’s hard to believe since Daros was pra
ctically a parent to you, but I assure you it’s true.”

  The fact that he knows I was raised by Daros doesn’t mean he’s my father. Almost everyone in the country knows that by now. I’m the Shadow Wraith, bringer of death, raised by the man who eludes me even now. Why did I agree to see them? “I’m afraid I see no validity to your claim,” I say.

  “I assure you it’s true. You are our little girl,” he says.

  I grip the hilt of the dagger on my right hip.

  I’m no one’s little girl.

  The woman steps forward like she can no longer contain herself. “You have a mole on your right foot, between your big and second toe.”

  I swallow past the thickening in my throat. I do indeed have such a mole.

  “You used to cry until I sang you a lullaby,” she continues. She sings a few lines of a vaguely familiar song before continuing. “You were such a beautiful baby. A joy I wanted for so long. When you came to us, I didn’t think I could ever be happier. We named you Keera—bright star.”

  I work to keep my breathing even as I clench my jaw. This can’t be. “If you were my parents, you would never have given me to Daros.”

  She drops her gaze and takes a step back as if my words sliced into her.

  Carver says, “That’s my fault.”

  “Explain yourself.” I will my body to relax when all it wants is to be tense.

  And yet…

  “You see, when you were a baby, the famine was in full force, almaca disease raging. I worked to support our little family, but it wasn’t enough. I admit that I turned to a source I shouldn’t have. I started gambling. Unfortunately, my debts ran higher than I could even imagine. Daros promised to take care of the debts in exchange for our only child. He had so much more than we did. You have to understand we were struggling to feed you, let alone ourselves. He could give you what we couldn’t. Not just food, but also a life.”

  This would explain how Daros got a hold of me. Doesn’t mean I believe it. “Didn’t you wonder what kind of life he planned for me?”

  “We assumed he was being a generous soul.”

  I snort.

  Despite my disbelief that they thought giving me to Daros was for the best, their words ring true. And Shillian knew about my mole.

  “Why wait all these years to come to me? Why not before? I was in one place the whole time. You could have visited.”

  “Daros said we couldn't,” Carver says. “Though we tried once. We were turned away. We didn’t think you desired to see us.”

  “But I would now?”

  Shillian’s voice is strong. “It was worth a try.”

  I don’t trust any of it. I want to, desperately. “I will think on this matter. You are excused for now.”

  Nash stands and opens the door. “Please see that Mr. and Mrs. Nilmac have a place to stay for the night,” he tells the servant.

  They head out of the room, but at the doorway, Shillian stops and faces me. “I love you. I thought giving you up would be the best thing for you.” She turns and goes.

  She turns and goes.

  My heart is shattered in a million pieces, already trying to put themselves back together.

  I think I just met my parents.

  Chapter 2

  After they’re gone, Nash returns to his seat. His presence is near enough to make me want more.

  Shoving away my need for him, I ask, “What do you think?”

  His response is slow in coming as he stares at his hands. “It’s difficult to say. Do you have that mole?”

  It would be so much easier if I didn’t. “I do.”

  “They certainly know specific details about you, then. They may be telling the truth.” He looks at me. “How do you feel about them possibly being your parents?”

  My first reaction is to redirect the conversation away from my feelings. But this is Nash. I’m trying to do better at communicating with him. “I don’t know. Mixed. Torn. I want a family so bad, but to think they gave me to Daros…” I shudder.

  “It’s unfathomable.”

  More than that—it’s revolting. But I also know I didn’t flash into existence. “This has me thinking… If they’re not my parents, someone had to be. Someone gave me to Daros. Unless they died. But then, how did Daros find me?”

  He shakes his head. “I wish I had answers for you.” He takes my hand.

  I ease back into my chair as his warmth travels up my arm. “We don’t do this enough.” My words are soft.

  “I know.”

  I keep my voice low. “But it’s dangerous.” I keep quiet and pull my hand away.

  “I know that too.”

  My eyes burn. I turn away. “Would you please send for Jem and Wilric?”

  “Anything you wish.”

  He leaves to do so, but when he returns, we fall into an awkward silence. His words are sweet, but we both know they can never be. What I wish is for us to be together. I want to say something. More than that, I want to go to him—to comfort him and myself—but others are coming, and to be caught would mean his death.

  His hand shakes as he runs it through his hair.

  “What are you thinking?” I still whisper.

  “Oh. Sorry. Nothing.” He clasps his hands together in his lap.

  “Are you sure it’s nothing? You can talk to me.” I hold myself back, hoping he does.

  He looks down, and his words come out slow. Stuttered. “I—I was thinking back to… when I was being tortured.”

  When he says nothing more, I ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He takes a second. “I get nightmares.”

  “I used to as well.”

  “What stopped them?”

  How do I answer? Do I tell him about the First Queen? Will he think I’m crazy? I trust him more than anyone else. There’s a thought heavy on my mind that makes me not want to speak of her. But Nash is telling me things. Letting me in. I promised to do the same for him after he first came back to me. I open my mouth to speak when there’s a knock.

  Nash closes his eyes as if in pain before getting up to answer. He glances back at me, expression clear of any of the torment he must be feeling. I nod, and he opens the door. Wilric and Jem enter the room.

  “You called for us?” Wilric asks.

  “Yes. I have a problem that needs delicate and thorough attention.” I clear my throat. “If you didn’t know, a couple claiming to be… my mother and father came forward.”

  Jem gives Wilric a sidelong glance before saying, “I heard rumors.”

  “I did, too,” he says.

  “They barely left. The servants put them up in one of the rooms with a set of guards. I’m tasking you both to find out if they are or not whom they say. Feel free to ask them or anyone else anything. It’s imperative that I know if they are telling the truth, and if they are, whether I can trust them.” I’d rather send Nash, but he doesn’t seem to be in a good enough state of mind for such a task. Besides, I like him close. If I had it my way, he’d always be within sight, so I’d know no one had captured him again.

  “You can count on us,” Wilric says.

  “I’ll do whatever I can to help,” Jem adds.

  “That will be all, Wilric.”

  He gives a nod and leaves us.

  “I wanted to speak with you about another matter, Jem. I highly value your view point and the help that you’ve given me these past several weeks, but I believe it’s time that Nash regained his position as Head Advisor.” It should be good for him. Give him something to focus his efforts on. And his opinion was always valuable. It will be good for the country, too.

  Her expression reveals nothing of her feelings. “I was honored to serve you in that capacity as long as I have.”

  It wasn’t much time, but I learned a lot about her. “I truly appreciate the job you did.”

  “Thank you, Your Majesty.” She gives a curtsy.

  “And you can continue on as a lady-in-waiting.”

  “I look forward
to it.” Her expression remains impassive.

  It’s just as well. As much as I want to know what she’s thinking, it’s better to be guarded from the world.

  She give her goodbyes and is out the door.

  Nash turns to me. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Are you ready for it?”

  “I am, but still, you didn’t have to replace Jem. She’s doing a great job.”

  “She is, but I want you back in that capacity, if that’s all right.”

  “Very well, then.” His expression changes. Softens. He reaches for a lock of my hair. “It’s getting long.”

  “Yours is, too.”

  “Yes, but yours is growing fast.”

  “Maybe I should cut it.”

  “If you want.” He runs his fingers through it.

  I want to close my eyes and lean into him, but thoughts of Daros stop me. He always had me keep my hair short. Said it’d get in the way of fighting if I had it long. If I needed long hair to attract male attention for a job he made me wear a wig. It was a bigger hassle.

  I should cut it. But I like it long. Nash is correct; it has grown faster than ever. It’s almost to my shoulders. Usually I keep it up, so it’s not noticeable, but today Inkga left it down.

  I finally give in and lean into Nash’s hand. It feels so good to let him caress me, even if we have to be cautious about it. After a minute, I pull away. “Would you make certain my council meeting is still on for today?”

  “Of course.” And just like that, he shuts off again, face closing up.

  I shouldn’t have pulled away. Should have stayed longer. But I always worry about being caught. About risking his life.

  About wanting things I can never have.

  Chapter 3

  The council room is full. Jem is on my right, Nash behind me, and everyone else is in their usual places in the circle—those considered of highest importance closest to me. I would place them differently, but the positions were set up long before I was around.