Death's Queen (The Complete Series)

by Janeal Falor

  “Let me have a look at it.” Her voice is calmer now, though still stern. She looks at Nash. “You should leave.”

  He clenches his jaw. “I’m her Head Advisor. I have a right to know how she’s doing.”

  “Yes, and we will inform you, but for now, you need to exit the room.”

  Before he can protest further, I say, “It’s fine, Nash. I’ll send word.”

  His face tightens, and I think he wants to argue more, but he leaves the room without another word.

  “You should be cautious with that one,” the healer says, barely above a whisper.

  “What do you mean?”

  Her gaze drifts to Shillian. “If you will permit me, Your Majesty. I need to check the damage.”

  “Of course.” I lift my skirt to just above where I tied the cloth that’s now red with my blood but at least not soaked.

  She uses deft fingers to untie the knot and release the cloth from around my leg. She prods at the wound. “It’s not too deep, but it’ll still need stitches.”

  “She’s going to be all right?” Worry colors Shillian’s words.

  “She’s going to be fine.” The healer doesn’t say anything about infection, but hopefully, we can ward that off before it’s an issue.

  Shillian’s shoulders fall as if the tension goes out of them. “Praise the sun.”

  I’m grateful, but not surprised. I’m more worried about Nash, his reaction, and the healer’s words about him. “Shillian?”

  “Yes, dearest?”

  “Would you inform those waiting outside of my prognosis? Let them know I’ll be fine. I’m getting stitches, and then I’ll rest.”

  “I can do that. Do you want me to come back afterward?”

  I try not to wince at the raw hope in her gaze. “No, thank you. It’d be best if I were alone to sleep.”

  “What about dinner?”

  “I’ll send Inkga for something from the kitchens.”

  “If you’re sure…”

  “Yes. Thank you. Your help is appreciated.” And her getting away from me long enough to let me think even more so.

  “All right. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I give her a smile that I hope looks sincere. “We’ll talk then.”

  As soon as the door closes behind her, I turn back to the healer. “What did you mean about being cautious with Nash?”

  She studies me carefully, looking deep into my eyes. “If you will forgive me, Your Majesty, that your preference for him is obvious.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I believe you do, though you attempt to underplay it. I understand why. This is dangerous territory. Everyone can see how you feel about him, though you try to hide it. You made it even more clear when he was taken and you fought so hard to get him back. I don’t know how long the council will leave him be, though you haven’t touched.”

  At least nobody knows we’ve touched. Still, her comments make me want to never even look at Nash again if it’s going to get him in trouble. “I’ll take your words under advisement.”

  “If you care about him, you will.”

  She pulls supplies out of her bag, but my thoughts stay on our conversation. What am I going to do? How am I going to do accomplish ignoring him when he’s my Head Advisor? I need to keep things professional.

  I’ll have to figure out a way because I won’t risk his life.

  Chapter 12

  The council members are crowding my sitting room, while my leg is resting on a chair. Last night, I went to sleep worrying about Nash. When the First Queen appeared, I refused to talk it over with her, instead discussing politics.

  Now it’s time for a meeting, but the healer said I needed to stay off my feet. Rather than making servants carry me all over the palace, it’d be easier to have the council come here. None of their advisors will fit in the room, so it’s only the main council and me.

  Nash is on my right, his presence burning that side of my body.

  And through it all, I can’t even look at him.

  I force my thoughts to the council members settling around the room. It’s been a trying twenty-four hours. I’m not sure I’m up for this. Doesn’t matter. I’ll do it anyway.

  Keeping my expression neutral, I watch the rest of them sit in order. “Thank you for coming to my sitting room today. I know it’s an inconvenience. What’s on the agenda today?”

  “We should discuss what took place yesterday,” Jaku says.

  Not what I want to rehash, but at least it’s nothing to do with Nash. “By all accounts, the attack was sent from the Kurah. They are upset over their tax situation.”

  “Which is why we should lower their taxes,” Timit says.

  Not that I’m surprised, but for once with him, I’d like to be. “You’re only saying that because you are one of them. Besides, giving into them because they sent attackers after me is not a good precedent.”

  “You did set the precedent when you gave into your Head Advisor’s kidnappers.” Timit looks smug.

  The rest of the room is silent. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Nash make a tight fist. I keep tension out of my body, like I haven’t a care in the world. I manage to refrain from pinching my fingers together. “I may have done so at first, to get him back, like I would hope any of you would want, but as you may recall, I decided against it in the end. We need to take a firm position that we won’t give into such threats.”

  “Even when your life is in danger?” Sidle, Head of the Military, asks.

  “Even then.” I sound as confident as I am. “But the question remains—what are we going to do about it?”

  “I say we install a flat tax. One that will be fair to all.” Timit beams at his own suggestion.

  “A flat tax is not fair to all. It casts the heaviest burden on the Poruah and the least of it on the Kurah.” I did pay attention in all those lectures I got when I first became queen.

  “I agree with the Queen,” Mina, Head of Foreign Relations, says.

  “I think we can all mostly agree on that, but what else can we do?” Kada asks.

  When the silence becomes uncomfortable, I say, “I propose that we use the money we have stored in the treasury to ease some of the burden. From what I understand, we have plenty in there.” I have yet to see it for myself—something I should remedy.

  “We've been gathering that money for decades. It’s to be used in emergencies only. If we use it now, we won’t have it when we need it.” Timit almost sounds like the voice of reason.

  Kada pipes in. “I agree. That money was to be used for special purposes, not at the whim of those who want a short-term solution.”

  I tap my fingers on my lap. There must be something we can do. “What about the mines around Valcora that bring in so much wealth? Why could we not buy a mine as the government? We could use the income to subsidize the people’s needs. What’s more, we’d be providing more jobs to those who need them.”

  “There are no mines for sale,” Timit says.

  It’s like he’s trying to muddle everything I do.

  “I don’t know,” Sidle says. “Perhaps we could find one. The country is rich with them. It would provide ample opportunity to make more money.”

  “It’s worth a try,” Monkia says.

  At least some are on my side.

  Nash has been oddly silent. What is he thinking? I risk a glance his way, like I’m looking around the room, but it doesn’t tell me anything. He’s quiet and stone-like.

  “Would someone like to add anything else?” I ask.

  “I still say a flat tax would be best,” Timit says.

  “Noted.” Time and time again. “Anyone else?” When the room stays silent, I know it’s time to make a decision, but I'll have to ask for Timit’s help since he’s in charge of the money. Oh well, there’s nothing to lose. If he doesn’t do a good job, I can always replace him. I just don’t know who with. “Having taken into consideration what you have shared with me, I would l
ike to go ahead and leave things as they are for now. We should look into buying a mine. Timit, please see what you can do in that area. I’d be most pleased if you could find us a good deal.”

  He grimaces, like he tasted something bad, but he says, “I will.”

  “Very well, then. If there are no other concerns, I will see you all at the next council meeting.” Which I can hopefully walk to.

  As the council heads out of the room, I tell Nash to wait. I shouldn’t meet with him alone much if it’s going to cause problems, but to do that, I’ll have to explain myself first. I can’t have him thinking I hate him. Far from it.

  When the room is clear and the door closed, he turns to me. “You wanted to speak with me?”

  “You make it sound so formal.” When he says nothing, I add, “Yes, well… I suppose it is.”

  “Ryn.” The single word out of his mouth is twisted with longing and pain.

  I want to reach out to him, but I stop myself. “How are you?”

  Wrong question. He drops his gaze, his expression closing up. “I’m fine.”

  Right. “You remember that I love you?”

  “I do.” His gaze flickers back up to mine. “I love you as well, only I sense a but coming.”

  Unfortunately. “It’s because I love you that I think we should ease off how much we appear to care for one another. It’s been brought to my attention that my preference for you is widely known. I don’t want to risk your life over something like that.”

  He brushes his thumb across my fingers, sending waves of heat through me. “Loving you is not a risk.”

  “Loving me is nothing but risks.”

  “I’ll hold by your wishes to remain at bay, but that won’t suppress my feelings for you.” He leans closer, his breath warm on my skin. He brushes his lips against mine, the contact agonizingly short. “I will see you when you have a government job for me.”

  He stands and takes several steps, before I gain hold of myself. “I do have something government-related to discuss with you.”

  He turns and gives me an unhappy smile. “I’d best do it from over here.” He takes a seat across the room from me. “What can I help you with?”

  “What did you think of my idea to open a government-controlled mine?”

  “As long as the workers are treated well, compensated fairly, and not too much money needs to be sunk into it, it’s a fair idea.”

  Fair. Not what I was going for. “Do you have a better one?”

  “Truth? You know what’s best for this country more than you think you do. In the past months, you’ve spent time getting to know the people of Indell, you’ve changed laws for the better, and you do things to show you care about them. The only other thing you could do is maybe visit the rest of Valcora. See what your country is like outside the capital.”

  “It’s a sound idea.” Though I’m not sure I’m doing as much as he thinks I am. “Perhaps I will make a country tour in the near future. For now, would you like to join me in investigating the treasury? I’ve never been, and I think it’s time I see what exactly my forbearers have stowed away.”

  “I would accompany you, but may I suggest we take someone with us if you are trying to keep up appearances? Not that I would mind spending time alone in a locked room with you.”

  My face heats. I clear my throat. “I’ll call for Jem.”

  “Agreed. She’ll probably know what things are worth better than either of us.”

  It’s funny that I didn’t like her when I first met her. Now her opinion is valuable, and I wish I spent more time with her. “Oh, I forgot. My leg. I can’t wander anywhere just yet.”

  “I forgot as well. Does it hurt?”

  “It’s nothing.” Compared to other injuries I've suffered, anyhow. “Maybe next week we can visit the treasury?”

  “I’ll look forward to it, and I’ll let Jem know for you.”

  “That would be appreciated.”

  He heads for the door.

  “Nash?”

  “Yes?” He faces me.

  I wish he would. I want to see his expression. “You can talk to me. About what happened.”

  “We’ve talked enough.” His tone is sharp enough to pierce my heart.

  Why did I think bringing up his torture would be a good idea? I should have left well enough alone. We were doing well. Now he’s leaving, and it’s not on good terms.

  His hand is on the door knob, but he doesn’t turn it. He just stands there. Finally, he says, “I’m sorry. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Thank you.” The knife slides out of my heart, but the wound is still there, bleeding.

  Chapter 13

  “Again.” The word flies from my mouth.

  Jem looks up at me, sweat dripping across her face. Wilric watches her, not a bead of sweat visible.

  “I don’t think I’m getting it,” she says.

  It would be so much easier if I could show her the moves, but I’m supposed to be cautious with my leg, and I don’t want to do anything that might mess up my recovery. It’s hard, being down, but it’d be worse if it lasted longer. Or worse, if I was permanently disabled. “You have to keep trying. It will come,” I say.

  “I’m not a natural, like you.”

  Am I a natural, or did I train for so long that it feels that way?

  “Come on, Jem.” Wilric holds up his wooden sword, ready to block an attack that doesn’t happen. “You’ve got this. You just need to keep practicing.”

  She growls and lunges forward. He stops her advance, knocks her sword aside, and gently taps her on the waist. With a groan, she drops the wooden sword to the ground, and her skirts swish. She wanted to change into pants, but I insisted she train in her skirt. What’s the point of training her in pants when she only ever wears skirts and dresses? She needs to be able to move in them.

  “We could go back to drills,” Wilric says.

  We’ve done lots of drills in the past week. I’m not sure she’s up for more. Practicing the basics is important, but it gets tedious after a while. Though it's good to be able to move on instinct, I think we've done enough for now.

  As if to prove my point, she grunts. Very unlady-like of her. I want to laugh, but I keep it to myself.

  “You can’t attack in anger. You have to be focused on the task at hand.”

  She doesn’t appear to hear my words, instead wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “Maybe it was a mistake to try this,” she says.

  “The Jem I know wouldn’t give up so easily.”

  She sighs. “This is a lot more difficult than either of you make it look.”

  “That’s because we’ve practiced so much,” Wilric says. “You’ll get there.”

  “It doesn’t seem close to happening.”

  “You haven’t been practicing a week.” I keep my tone even, though I want to rage at her. That would be Daros speaking, not me, and I won’t let him control me like that. He’s not even here; he can’t affect my actions.

  “But what if we get attacked tomorrow?” she asks. “I’d be as useless as before.”

  Wilric picks her sword up. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “You have learned some basics that would help in a fight.” Not against a trained assassin, but telling her that won’t do any good.

  Wilric sets the swords in their places in the training room, walks over to Jem, and puts a hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him with something so pure in her gaze, I have to glance away.

  His words are soft but carry over to me. “You can do this. You’ve got the heart for it. We just need to get your skills up to where your desire is.”

  She sighs, more breathily than before. “I’ll keep trying.”

  “That’s the way.”

  I want to encourage her too, but it feels like they’re having their own little moment. If I could walk stealthily, as usual, I would be out of here. Instead, I feign interest in one of my daggers, take it out, and flip it in the air before catching it agai
n.

  A minute or so later, Jem says to me, “Neat trick. Do you think I could do that?”

  I stop, with the blade pointing out. “Eventually. For now, you should try again. More slowly this time, Wilric.”

  He nods and retrieves the practice swords. He hands one to her before getting into his fighting stance. She tries to mimic his moves and does a decent job. Her knees are bent, her head held high, and her muscles poised to strike or block. There’s a tension in the lines of her body, though. A stiffness that belies her efforts.

  “Begin,” I say.

  She attacks, and Wilric knocks her sword away. This time she recovers and brings it back up toward him, and he blocks it. I watch them go back and forth until Nash enters the room. I’m hyper-aware of him as I keep watch on the practice.

  He sits on the bench close by me, but not touching me. “She’s coming along.”

  I nod.

  “You’re a good teacher.”

  I drag my gaze away from the fight and let myself look at him. Take him in. I’m surprised he isn’t off, fighting. I don’t dare say that, though. “Wilric is doing most of the hard work.”

  “Don’t sell yourself short,” he says.

  I press my lips together.

  He tears his gaze from mine to watch them practice. “I visited my family today.”

  I want to gush at him. To tell him how happy I am that he finally went. Instead, I hold back and simply ask, “How are they?”

  “Good. Mother has nothing but nice things to say about you. She has a bit of hero worship going on, as do my sisters.”

  I chuckle. “Whatever for? I’ve only treated them the way I've treated anyone.”

  “Yes, but you also saved their only son and brother’s life.”

  The words shock me. It’s the first time he’s brought up the attack on his own. This is dangerous ground, and I could easily scare him away if I’m not careful. I lower my voice, so it doesn’t carry, though my guards are at the far edges of the room, and Jem and Wilric are distracted by their fight. “I did it for selfish reasons.”