Death's Queen (The Complete Series)

by Janeal Falor

  He clears his throat. “I will get more serious about looking for one, Your Majesty.”

  I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Be sure that you do. That is all for today.”

  He stands and gives a better bow than I’ve seen him give, though it’s still stiff. As he exits, a servant enters and says, “Shillian Nilmac is here to see you, Your Highness.”

  Of course she is. Yet a part of me is excited to see her. “Send her in.”

  The servant bows and leaves, and a moment later, Shillian arrives. “Thank you for seeing me.” She takes a seat next to me, even as she continues talking. “That was so frightening, when we were attacked, but you were incredible. I’ve never seen anything like it. How’s your leg?” She’s been saying the same things ever since I was attacked.

  “It’s almost back to normal.”

  “I’m so glad to hear that. I wish I could give you a hug and make things better. What would you like to do today? If you’re not busy, that is.”

  The hug part makes me want to cry, though I don’t understand why. I hurry the conversation on, unwilling to let tears build in my eyes. “I don’t know if I have time for anything today. It’s pretty busy.”

  “I understand. You are the queen. I never thought I’d be the mother of the queen. I’m so proud of the lady you’ve become.”

  I can’t help it; I have to ask. “You know I’m an assassin?”

  She drops her gaze to her hands. “I heard that. Yes.” Her gaze returns to mine, eyes blazing. “But it doesn’t matter.”

  I want to reach out and squeeze her hand, but I resist. “Thank you.”

  She nods.

  “Where’s Carver today?” I ask.

  “He’s out, looking for a job.”

  “Best of luck with it.”

  “He’ll appreciate that.”

  “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask, and I have a little time before going to my meetings,” I say. “How did you and Carver meet?” Because I don’t know much about them, though we’ve spent some time together.

  Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “We grew up together. Lived in the same neighborhood most of our childhood. When his parents died, he took off on his own but always came back to visit me. I don’t remember when we started to fall in love. One day, I realized I did love him and had for some time. Shortly after that, he proposed, and we were married.”

  “What was the wedding like?” I’ve never been to one. I haven’t a clue how they happen.

  “Simple. An officer of the state, given power by the queen, married us in a simple ceremony. My parents and a few friends were there, but there was so much work to be done, even then, that we didn’t do much to celebrate. I still had washing to do, and Carver had just gotten a job as a mason.”

  My dream of a romantic union is dashed. Though I suppose it is nice that they have known each other since childhood. Friends turned to lovers. I wanted a spark of something more to make me believe there was hope for me.

  But there isn’t.

  Nash and I can never be.

  Chapter 16

  The First Queen frowns. Have I seen her frown before? Perhaps, but not like this. I have the distinct feeling I did something to upset her.

  She sighs. “It’s true. I am a little upset.”

  “Why?” I tramp down my other thoughts. I don’t want to unwittingly disturb her more.

  “If you must know, I’m slightly perturbed you told Nash about me.” She crosses her ankles, her green dress swishing.

  “I didn’t think you’d mind. He’s good at keeping secrets.”

  “I hope you’re right. I’d hate to have a witch hunt after you.”

  Would that really happen?

  She primly sets her hands together in her lap. “Difficult to say. Magic is mysterious in Valcora during these times. Only the Mortum Tura remains, and it’s been here for so long, people are accustomed to it.”

  “Mysterious, yes, but a witch hunt?” It doesn’t feel true, but then again, Nash did say it might be dangerous.

  “I’m not certain either, but there’s a chance it might come to that. I don’t want to take that chance on you when you’re finally starting to make a difference for the country.”

  “You think it’s a good idea to use the money to create jobs? To buy a mine, so we can delve into the natural resources Valcora has to offer?” I ask.

  “Trust your instincts.”

  I relax. If she and Nash both think it’s a good idea, I may be on to something. What are my instincts? I search deep inside, for what I’m feeling. I almost get the impression I shouldn’t be investing the money back into the nation. That it would hurt, more than help. But that can’t be right, can it? I shove the feelings away. “I will do this.”

  “I can tell you want to achieve great things.”

  Heat rises to my cheeks. I look off into the distance, the colors of the sunset blurring together.

  “You should be proud of what you’re accomplishing, not hiding from it.”

  “Maybe.” I’ve never been pleased in a job well done. There’s always something not perfect about it. Something to improve on. Daros constantly reminded me of that.

  “He is not what you should be judging yourself by. He is a despicable man, who thrives on destroying others.”

  It’s hard to believe that I shouldn't judge myself. I hurry to talk before she can comment on that thought as well. “He’s still out there. I wish we could find him.”

  “He’s sneaky. Hopefully, he’s run off to another country by now.”

  “It’s possible, but unlikely. He likes to get his way, and he hasn’t. Something bad will come of it.”

  “You’re strong. If he comes back, you’ll handle him.”

  I should take the opportunity to think about that. What will I do with him when he comes back? He needs to die, but I promised myself to kill no more. I broke that promise once. I don’t want to do it again.

  “But if it’s what’s best, maybe you should.”

  “We’ll see when the time comes.” I’m slightly annoyed at her reading my thoughts, but tamp it down so she won’t be offended. Though I wonder…“Can I read your thoughts as you read mine?”

  The skin around her eyes tightens. “No one’s ever tried.”

  I find that surprising. It seems like a natural thing to do.

  “Only because you think differently than other queens.”

  The statement gives me pause. “In a good way or bad? No. You know what? Don’t answer that. Let me try to read your mind. If it doesn’t bother you, that is?”

  “Go ahead.”

  I concentrate on her, trying to discover her thoughts. Searching for a hint of her mind out there in the dark abyss. I hunt for it, pushing myself to find a scrap of anything. It doesn’t do any good. The way isn't as clear at all. “I’m getting nothing.”

  She gives a slight nod.

  “I may not be able to read your thoughts, but are you worried about something?” I ask.

  “You caught that?” Her tone is as smooth as usual, giving nothing away.

  “I did.” What could she possibly be worried about, in a dreamlike state such as this?

  She sighs. “I didn’t want to bother you with it, but it’s left over from speaking about Daros. I’m not sure what to do about him. He’s become quite a pain, and if you think he hasn’t left the country—that he’s going to stick around and do more damage—I believe you.”

  Is that what’s bothering her? Her expression is once again hard to read, so I go with what she said. She has no reason to lie, and it makes perfect sense. “That makes two of us,” I tell her.

  “We can both think about it and see if we come up with anything.”

  “I’ll try,” I say. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about your necklace. I saw it in the treasury.”

  “You found it. I was wondering if you ever would.”

  “You knew it was there?”

  “I suspected. Other queens went in
the treasury and saw it. I guessed it wasn’t removed.”

  “But you didn’t know?”

  “Not for certain. Why such interest in my necklace?”

  I'm not sure exactly. “I think it has something to do with proving that you exist.”

  “You doubt still?”

  “No. It’s good to have a reminder, though.” I pause before plunging forward. “Does your necklace do anything special?”

  “What do you mean?”

  I shrug. “There was something about it when I saw it.”

  “Perhaps it was reverence and respect for it, knowing it belonged to me.”

  “Maybe.” But I have a feeling she’s being evasive. Why? I try to clamp down on that thought, but it’s too late.

  “Why would I be evasive with you? I have no to reason to be.” She doesn’t sound hurt, but neither does she look happy.

  I shrug. “It’s an old habit, from being with Daros. I’m not used to people being up front with me yet.”

  “You can trust me. You know that, don’t you?”

  I search my feelings. Warmth and sweetness encompass me. “I do.”

  “Good. I want us to be on the same team. That can’t occur if we don’t trust each other.”

  “What happens when a queen isn’t on your side?” Though I don’t plan on going that way myself, I am curious what would happen with someone like that, having the First Queen stuck in their head with no way to escape.

  “Like Deedra?”

  The queen before me. “Yes. What was that like for the both of you?”

  “When a person doesn’t fit with my plans, it’s… trying.”

  “I can’t imagine being stranded in someone’s thoughts and not getting along with them.”

  She gives a thin smile. “It’s not easy. Some people are more enjoyable than others by nature. It’s not something I like to think about.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring up difficult topics for you.”

  “It’s fine. I know you have a curious mind.”

  Too curious for my own good. Daros smashed a lot of it out of me, but it seems to be coming back more than I’d expect.

  “It’s about time for you to wake up for the day. Anything else you’d like to ask before you go?”

  “Will you always be here, helping me?”

  She smiles—a wide, bright expression. “I will.”

  “Thank you for your guidance.”

  “Always.”

  Chapter 17

  Inkga is pinning my hair up for the day. We ate breakfast together, discussing her new clothing designs, which I’m excited to see. It’s funny how comfortable I’ve become with her around. The only other person I’m like this with is Nash, and that’s entirely different.

  Either way, I don’t feel the need to constantly watch her. If she ever schemes to kill me, it’ll be far too easy. Though I doubt it. There was a spider in my bedroom the other day, and she couldn’t bring herself to smash it.

  “There,” she says. “All ready for the day. What plans do you have?”

  “I don’t have much scheduled today. I’ll probably find lots to keep me busy.” I turn to face her. “I have to be honest—this place is wonderful, but I’m getting tired of it.”

  “You could always go on a tour of the country.” She sets my brush on the vanity.

  “Could I really?” Nash mentioned something like that, but I didn’t think much about it, like I should have.

  “Queens sometimes do such a thing. The nation would enjoy seeing you, and you seem like the type of queen who’d enjoy visiting other cities and meeting your countrymen.”

  “That sounds much better than meeting after meeting.”

  “I’m sure there will still be meetings, only more spread out.”

  And they won’t include the likes of Timit. Plus, if I go around the country, Daros won’t be there unless he follows me around. He always preferred to stay in the city. “Who do I need to speak with to make this happen?”

  She grins. “I’d be happy to get things moving for you. When do you want to go?”

  “As soon as arrangements can be made. Let’s get Jem to help. She was probably trained on just such a thing.”

  “I’ll get her and alert Nash to your intentions.”

  She hurries out. I check to make certain I have all my daggers and that my poison pouch is around my neck, and then I make my way to my usual seat in the sitting room.

  I want to take Nash with me. I hope he wants to go. Maybe I should leave him in charge, but he’s not himself. I’ll take Inkga, and I should take Shillian and Carver. Anyone else who wants to go and can be ready in time will be welcome.

  I continue to go over a list of security plans and people who should come in my head until Jem and Inkga return a few minutes later. I tell them my thoughts.

  Jem laughs. “You are eager to see the countryside.” When I give her a flat expression, she adds, “Your Majesty.”

  “I thought we were past that.” I sigh. Too many of my thoughts have apparently been written on my face. “Truth is, I am eager.”

  “Good. We can work with that. We should be able to go in a day or two, but we’ll have to travel slowly at first.”

  “Why?”

  “So there’s time for the towns to be alerted to your arrival. The first thing we’ll do is make a schedule of where you’re going when, and Kada will let them know we’re coming. Arrangements will be made. There will be some form of a party or celebration in at least a few of the towns.”

  “That’s unnecessary.”

  Her mouth tightens. “You may think so, but the people do not.”

  “Very well.” I don’t want to cause them more trouble, but I did enjoy dancing with them before spotting Daros in the crowd. Was he there, or did my fears make him up? “Very well.”

  “Good. The country will be eager to see their queen, though considering certain recent events and the fact that Daros in still on the loose, Jaku will presumably not wish you to go. I’m sure we can convince him, if you take enough guards.”

  “As many as he sees fit. I don’t want the palace unguarded, though.”

  She nods. “He’ll know.”

  I suppose I need to leave someone in charge while I’m gone. “I’d like you to see to things while I’m away.”

  “Me?” She puts a hand to her chest, eyebrows slightly raised.

  “You know the country well, and the laws even better. What’s more, you know more about protocol than I ever will. Will you accept this assignment?”

  She gives a small curtsy. “I’d be delighted, Your Majesty.”

  All this Your Highness, my lady, and Your Majesty will most likely increase again as I go around those who don’t know how much it bothers me. Oh well. It’s becoming more of a background noise.

  “And you will come with me, Inkga, if you so desire.”

  “It would be an honor.” She also curtsies but doesn’t add an honorific, much to my delight. “We’ll have to look at your wardrobe, to see what will be fitting for travel and what will be good to meet the people in.”

  “Pants for traveling, please. You can pick whatever you think is best as long as I can still have my daggers.”

  Inkga smiles. “Sounds good.”

  “I’ll make arrangements,” Jem says.

  “Send Jaku to me,” I reply. “I want to tell him myself.”

  She nods and leaves the room.

  “Thank you for agreeing to go with me,” I tell Inkga.

  “Truthfully, it is an honor. I’m so excited, Ryn. Most of my life has been spent in this palace, and I have never been outside of Indell. I’d love to see more than just this place. Meet new people. Make new friends.”

  “You will.” And with any luck, so will I.

  We discuss different cities for a while, when a servant knocks at the door and introduces Jaku. My Head of Guard strides in the room, gives a bow, and waits with one hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

  “Thank y
ou for coming. I am going to be traveling the country. I would like you to arrange as many men you feel are necessary to make that happen, while still keeping the palace guarded.”

  His expression remains hard. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I believe the safest course of action would be to remain here at the palace.”

  I give him a level stare. “Let’s be honest.”

  “Of course.”

  “How many attacks have happened while I’m here at the palace?”

  “The exact number is hard to guess,” he says.

  “Because it’s high?”

  “Yes,” he grumbles.

  “And you think it will be higher outside these walls?”

  “It already has been. Almost every time you go out, you are attacked.”

  True. Not a comforting fact. “But we won’t be staying in the city. Don’t you think it’d be different in other towns?”

  His lips form a thin line.

  “Don’t you?” I prod.

  “It’s difficult to say. They could have better access to you than they do inside these walls.”

  “But…”

  He sighs. “But other towns may not be as hostile to you, according to my sources.”

  “You keep track of how other towns feel about me?”

  “I do. My job is to protect you from all threats. I need to know about the entire country to do that.”

  Interesting. “It would be safe for me to go, then.”

  “I said not as hostile. They haven’t had direct reports of you like the people in Indell have. They don’t know about issues until after they’re fixed, and they usually get news of the fix with it. There’s still some animosity toward you. The Kurah may be a problem, and Daros may follow you, thinking he can get you in a less guarded place.”

  Oh, joy. “I’ve had to fight for my life in this very palace. I think it’s safe to assume things will be dangerous wherever I go. With your guards at my side, I’m certain I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m not certain, which is why I’m hesitant,” he says. “But I can see you’re set on going, so I’ll have to make sure you have enough protection.”

  “Thank you.” I keep myself from grinning like a fool.