Golden Chains (The Colorblind Trilogy Book 3)

by Rose B Mashal

  My nights and days were identically dark. A small lamp above gave off the tiniest bit of light, and I wondered why they’d put it there at all.

  I had no bed, no blanket, or pillow. I didn’t even have a sink, only a toilet. Why did they bother with a lamp? Clearly, they didn’t need it for the camera; they were watching me with night vision. What was the lamp for?

  As I lay on my side, using the crook of my arm for a pillow while the other covered my face, I knew very well that I was going through the third stage of grief. I was angry.

  Seeing her, realizing who she was, made me angry. I was mad at myself for not figuring it out earlier. How could I have missed this?

  In my defense, she did cross my mind when I thought about who might want to hurt my family and me. Information reached us that she wasn’t in the Kingdom; that she had left it a long time ago. We believed, and we were wrong.

  I was so angry at what I had learned from the TV – it had been almost two days since I was brought here? All this time and they still couldn’t find me? What exactly did this evil woman plan? How did she manage to hide me so well? How was she able to convince a first royal guard to betray us?

  Many questions. Many, many questions roamed in my head. But at least, I had the answer to the most crucial question. I now knew who my captor was. I had a good idea of why she’d done it. The answer was as clear as day.

  My hands clenched into fists as I remembered the look in my love’s eyes as he made the statement on TV. It was as if he knew I was watching and wanted to remind me of how strong he thought I was. It was his secret message to me, to stay put because every single soul in the Kingdom was searching for me.

  I didn’t know the details, but Mazen said our enemies made it look as though I were dead. Was that why it was taking the authorities so long to get here? Did they start the search late after realizing that I wasn’t dead? What other reason could there be?

  My nails almost dug into the skin of my palms as I thought of how horrible it must have been for my husband. How awful! It might have been even more difficult for him than it had been for me. To think for a second that my other half might be dead?

  I squeezed my eyes tight, not even able to imagine the thought of losing the love of my life for one second, and my heart bled for what my angel must be going through.

  The more I thought of Mazen’s words, the angrier I got. But most importantly, those words made me more determined not to show any weakness. Hearing Mazen renewed my desire to show them all how strong their Queen was.

  That was right. I was their Queen, like it or not.

  The woman, Etab, brought me a new tray of food. I wasn’t about to eat it. The look she had given me was poisonous. I wasn’t about to take a chance.

  Thankfully, this time she was satisfied with the dirty look alone and didn’t say anything to get a reaction from me. She left immediately.

  I was already starving, even though I had eaten earlier when the woman –whom I was yet to figure out who she was – fed me. I wondered if that was earlier today? Or yesterday? I had no clue; I had no sense of time whatsoever.

  I had eaten only one meal since I was taken, and it was scary to think what that could mean for my baby. I also couldn’t stop thinking about missing the shots I was supposed to get.

  My anger started rising again, and for the first time, I realized why Mazen broke things when he was furious. There was nothing I wanted more than to break something. Preferably, her nose.

  The sound of nearing footsteps followed Etab’s short visit, and I wondered if she had changed her mind about not irritating me with a snarky comment and decided to come back, but I didn’t have to wonder for long because the next minute – I was proven wrong.

  It was her. Princess Qamar Alfaidy.

  Glaring at her happened automatically, and for the first time in my whole life, I thought about physically hurting another human being.

  After taking her time looking me up and down with disgust in her eyes, she spoke, “Lord, you look nauseating.”

  I didn’t know if that disgust addressed my person in general, or because I had dried blood all over my back, my hair was messier than a bird’s nest, and I was particularly stinky.

  Thanks to what you did to me, I thought, but I settled for glaring.

  “I like it,” she grinned. “It’s the best thing about seeing you. I actually love it. Weak, broken, miserable, and dirty. Soon, you will be begging, but let’s not talk about future events for now.” Her voice dripped with venom – so much venom – that I was surprised she was still alive after tasting that much poison.

  She then walked cockily toward me; her behavior, her looks, her whole being was screaming ego. She was very arrogant, and it couldn’t be healthy.

  Everything in me wanted to scream at her, to tell her to shut up, that I wasn’t weak, that she would be paying for this, and very soon. But I imagined precisely that would be what she wanted me to do. I knew it might only encourage her to hit me – or worse. Responding to her taunts wouldn’t be smart.

  So, I remained silent, making sure to show her I was strong by keeping calm.

  “Hmm … so I hear you haven’t said a word in here, yet,” the woman who was a mirror-image of Queen Mother Shams said. “We’ll see if you can keep that attitude.”

  A glare was what she got in a reply; I wasn’t going to give her anything, not even a spoken word.

  “You see, I have a very impressive talent for convincing people to do things I want to be done,” my mother-in-law’s twin sister said. “And I have a deal for you.”

  Anger consumed me, and it was even deeper than the heartbreak I was feeling. I was mad at everything, and I didn’t know how to calm myself down. It felt like if I didn’t speak at least one word now, I might burst into flames.

  I could only wonder when my back had become a target. Everyone I trusted started stabbing it with their betrayal. It wasn’t a pleasant thing to think about, and it only made my blood boil even more.

  I wondered about all of the times this woman had been physically close to me, very close, and I hadn’t even realized it, shrugging my gut feelings away and thinking it was nothing to worry about.

  I was wrong.

  My present feelings of unease, of being hated, and the turning in my stomach, were all things that I had felt before but discredited them.

  I had felt it when I was going to visit my niece; Princess Qamar must have been watching me from behind Queen Mother Shams’ door.

  I felt it again when I met her in the library. She’d been completely shocked when I came out of nowhere because she had no idea about the hidden doors and secret tunnels. She’d glared when she looked at my stomach, and I remembered the relief on her face when she realized that I’d mistaken her for my mother-in-law.

  I figured out that it was her, not Queen Mother Shams, who had left Talia’s cell the night of the execution with pain and hurt coming from her whole being. I remembered that I’d thought that the Queen Mother was shorter than usual.

  It had been so easy to think poorly of my mother-in-law; it had never occurred to me that the sister whom Rosanna had nicknamed The Snake could be her double.

  Because again, it was so easy to think of my mother-in-law as a troublemaker. But in reality, Queen Shams never left her wing until we asked her to prepare my meals until the baby was born.

  How stupid of me to think that the one who respected the laws and traditions more than anyone in the Kingdom, would try to escape the punishment that her husband had sentenced her to?

  Without a second thought, I knew I wouldn’t be making any deals with this horrible woman. But I also didn’t say anything to the contrary; I stayed silent.

  “Do you want to hear what I can offer?” she asked with one raised eyebrow and a wicked smile on her lips. Her French accent as she spoke in English was one of the things that gave her away when I saw her by the metal door.

  Although I couldn’t remember where or when I had heard her voice bef
ore, since I was sure we’d never met, it was the first thing that made me convinced that she was not Mazen’s mother.

  My glare stayed in place; it was all I could do. To be honest, a part of me wanted to hear what this woman had to say. I thought that maybe I could play her and find my way out. But a big part of me knew that she most likely had thought about this first.

  “Okay, then,” she said after a long minute passed without me changing my mind and giving her a reply. “I guess I’ll tell you the deal and see if you’ll accept or decline. I have a strong feeling that you will agree.” The excitement in her voice, and how sure of herself she sounded to be made me want to rip her throat out.

  “I hope by now you realize that you’re going to be dead soon,” she said as if she were reading the news. “I’m only keeping you alive until you give birth to your little demon baby.”

  My chest was rising up and down as her words started to affect me; she couldn’t speak that way about my baby. She couldn’t. The need to strangle her right then and there became even more pressing.

  “Notice, you were due today, so – you’re already running out of time, my dear.”

  My nose started tingling, and I felt as if I was about to cry. That was the last thing I wanted to do. But her words terrified me. Now I knew why she had me captured. I’d thought it was only about me, but it turned out that my baby was a target, too, and that alone scared me to no end.

  “Now, listen to me carefully – I will let you give birth, as naturally as possible. I won’t let you rest; you won’t find a moment to sit down. You won’t get any medication to ease your labor. I mean, you’re going to die anyway, right? That would be a waste, don’t you think?” she asked, but wasn’t looking for a reply. “A waste of the medication, not you, mind you,” she laughed.

  My nostrils flared, and heat spread all the way down my spine. My cuffed hands formed tight fists, and I clenched my jaw. She was getting through to me, and she knew it.

  “After you finally deliver the baby and I can hold it in my arms–” she said, and I stopped breathing. It was killing me to imagine what she might say next, and my chin started quivering. “– you will have two options: number one, you watch me as I kill it slowly the way I wish; or number two, I give it to you to kiss and hug for a good five minutes before I take it back to kill it. See? I’m going to kill it anyway. I believe it’s only fair after what you and your husband did to my children.”

  Tears were already forming in my eyes. I was trembling with fear, my face flushed with anger, and my breathing wasn’t at all even. “Your children were monsters,” I shouted, “and they got what they deserved!” My words echoed around the walls of my cell, and it was such a relief to get them out.

  The devilish woman seemed to be taken aback by the fact that I yelled at her, but she recovered quickly, showing me with a wicked smile how satisfied she was for getting a response from me.

  “They were monsters; I can’t argue with that.” She laughed, seemingly unaffected by my words. “But they were my children, and you took them away from me. Justice must be served.”

  “You won’t get away with this. His Majesty will be here soon and he will–” I started to threaten her, but she wasn’t having that.

  “I thought you were too stupid to be queen, but – Lord! You’re even stupider than stupid.” she sneered. “You really think he can find you? You’re dreaming. He’s dreaming. You’re in the last place he could think of, believe me.”

  “He will find me, you’ll see,” I said, my voice shaking a bit. Her words were affecting me like a nasty spell I couldn’t counteract.

  “Right,” she said, seeming unfazed, which pissed me off, especially after she rolled her eyes. “Now, let’s get back to our deal.”

  “We have no deal,” I spat. “Your nasty hands will never touch my baby.”

  “We’ll see about that.” She smiled. “I’ll leave you to think about it, although I already know what your choice is going to be. Five minutes with your little shit before I kill it, in exchange for a drawing of the palace’s secret passages. Easy as that.”

  My eyes widened. Why would she need that? She’d already put my family through hell and back. What damage was left to do?

  “See you in a few hours,” she said. “Choose wisely.”

  Every inch of my body hurt. My legs, my arms, my shoulders, my back and my stomach. Even my skin was itching and aching. I was in such a miserable condition.

  I guess sleeping on a cold, hard floor for almost three days did that to you. Was it only three days? It sure felt like ages.

  I wondered what Mazen was doing now? Was he searching for me? Was he eating well? Was he hurting? Was he nearby? The questions went on and on.

  Of course, he’s searching for me. Of course, he’s close. I tried to convince myself as doubt crept into my heart. I was so scared.

  The witch’s words lingered in my mind. It was making me doubt everything. I heard one time that if you say that ‘one plus one equals three’ with confidence, the other person will believe you were telling the truth for a second. It was all about confidence.

  Was that why the words were affecting me? She seemed very sure of herself. I hated it.

  I wanted my mind to reject any thought of how definitive her words sounded, but no matter how hard I fought, they kept sneaking back into my head. I was scared. Petrified.

  What if she did go through with what she promised? What if she—no, I wouldn’t think that way. It was what she wanted me to do.

  Mind games. She was playing mind games. And I hated her for being able to play with my thoughts that well. I hated her and wished she was dead.

  A few things I was sure I needed to do. I had to keep the faith, I had to pray harder, and cling to the good memories of my Mazen.

  “You’re strong because of you. Not because of me. Let the strength grow from inside you, not because of who’s standing next to you. I know you can do it. You’re so much stronger than you think you are. With or without me.”

  Mazen’s voice rang in my ears. I’d promised him to stay strong, and I was doing it. Wasn’t I? I kept the faith. I fought the doubts. Right?

  Maybe I wasn’t doing the best job, but I was exhausted, humiliated, and heartbroken. I was doing my best. Mazen would be proud of me.

  A tear ran down the side of my face as I lay on my side in the dimly lit room. I was drifting between falling asleep and wide awake. I saw things, heard voices, whispers. I didn’t know what they were saying or who they were. Everything was shaking around me. The walls. The tray. The bottle of water that I craved so much.

  Or is it just me?

  I didn’t know. The only thing I could feel was the thumping in my head and the throbbing pain all over my back.

  I wondered if the pain I felt was from of lack of sleep. Or because I was thinking about a million things. I was always thinking. Thinking was all I could do in here.

  Where am I?

  I was drifting. Drifting away. Then, I wasn’t feeling cold anymore. Suddenly, it was too hot. Everything was hot. I was sweating. My throat was too dry.

  What is this place?

  Cold. Too cold.

  Hot.

  Hands. Hands were shaking me.

  “Marie.”

  That was my name. Someone was calling my name.

  It wasn’t Mazen. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.

  I was drifting away.

  Cold.

  Dark.

  Scary.

  Alone.

  The throbbing in my head didn’t stop, but it was lighter now. I could feel a hand on my hair, smoothing it back slowly and sweetly. The human touch was somewhat welcome, for it was comforting and almost loving.

  For a few minutes, I couldn’t remember where I was or what was going on. I thought that when I opened my eyes, I would see my bedroom celling’s elegant decorations.

  But as the seconds passed, I started remembering where I was, or where I wasn’t.


  I got up, realizing that my head was resting on someone’s lap. The sudden movement fueled the dizziness that I was already suffering from and added more to the banging in my head.

  “Oh, I’m so glad to see you’re awake,” I heard a sweet voice say. Looking at the source, I found the woman who fed me earlier. Was it earlier? Or yesterday? I had no clue.

  Something in me liked the idea that she was here, and I wondered if I was developing Stockholm Syndrome, because she’d fed me and promised me clean clothes

  I looked at her with eyes half-opened, then I tried to touch my head, but my arm was too heavy, and it dropped back to my lap.

  “Easy, Marie,” the woman said. “You might want to lie back again. You’re very weak.”

  My first thought was to tell her that I wasn’t weak, but I realized she meant physically and not as a person. And she was right. I was drained.

  But – why was my head on her lap?

  “You had a fever,” she said. – as if she was answering my unspoken question – and my eyebrows shot to my hairline. “The wounds on your back are infected.” She explained, and I felt the urge to throw up; how would that affect my baby?

  “You’ve been calling your husband’s name while you were delirious.” She offered me a soft smile. “You really love him very much, don’t you?”

  “More than I’ve ever loved anyone my whole life,” I replied in a low voice, not bothering to look at her reaction to hearing me speak for the first time, but I could tell that she was excited about it.

  “Wow!” She paused. “I’ve always wondered what that would feel like,” she said in a small voice.

  The woman stayed silent for a few moments; then she spoke again when she saw me touching the long gown that I was wearing. I was sure it would reach below my knees if I stood up. It was soft and comfy, and I was grateful to have it. “I gave you a sponge bath, cleaned the wounds as much as I could, and put these clean clothes on you. I hope you’re enjoying them.”

  My eyes widened, thinking of the cameras. I was horrified at the thought that others saw me without clothes. I looked around me – trying to spot where all the cameras were.