Redemption (Desire Never Dies)

by Clara Grace Walker

  “Shirley has her methods of persuasion,” he said. He spoke quietly, any trace of lightness stripped from his voice. “Where’s Nick?”

  “No one’s seen him since breakfast,” Mindy said. “I’m afraid something bad has happened.”

  “Damn.” Earl took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  The warmth of his touch soothed her, but only barely. “If anything’s happened to him, I’m not going to be responsible for what I do to Shirley,” she said. “This hurts just as bad as losing Mama. Maybe worse.”

  “That’s the most you’ve said about your childhood,” Earl noted.

  Curiosity briefly replaced the fear in his eyes.

  “Mama sucked at being a parent,” Mindy said. “But I still loved her, and it still hurt when she died.”

  “I’m glad you told me that.” Earl gave her hand another squeeze then glanced again at the exit. “You can always tell me anything, you know.”

  She nodded. “I will. I have a lot more to tell you. But not right now.” Telling him about the baby in front of everyone, including the CRC prison guards, was not an option.

  “With any luck Maggie and Jamie will send the police our way soon,” Earl said. “I only hope it’s not too late when they get here.”

  The concern in his voice echoed the knot in her stomach. It matched the stone faces surrounding her. No one smiled. Stillness filled the room.

  “Maybe we should take stock of where we’re at,” Preston suggested.

  Earl nodded. “I found some things when I was searching Belanger’s office. Before Shirley railroaded me into patient status.”

  Mindy thought of a distorted face. Grinning. Ugly. Swimming above her like some disembodied demon. She thought of what it probably meant and felt ill. “What did you find?”

  “A med school graduation certificate for Andrew Cantwise. Identical in every way to the one on Arthur Belanger’s wall except for the name.”

  “You realize what this means?” Preston asked. “Arthur Belanger is probably Andrew Cantwise.”

  “Why would he lie about that?” Darla asked. She snuggled up to Rod like he was the only man in the world then glanced at Rory and grinned.

  Earl drew in a slow breath. “That’s what I intend to find out.”

  Rod nodded in the direction of the hallway leading to the clinic. “I’d start with Andrew Cantwise’s post-med-school activities. “I think it’s time we checked everyone out of here and finished this investigation from the outside.”

  Mindy tensed. “But I can’t leave.” Panic nearly kept her from getting the words out.

  Earl took her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Don’t worry. I’ll stick you in my car and drive you out the front gate. We need to get the hell out of here. The sooner the better. But we need to find a way past those guards.”

  Fear constricted her throat. What had Shirley done? How had she turned Earl into a patient? Dark thoughts pounded into her; chased away only by Earl’s fingers circling hers. She had to believe in him. He was the one person in the world she could really trust. She should have told him her secrets a long time ago.

  Reaching down to nuzzle the side of her face with his lips, he whispered. “You okay?”

  “Maybe,” she said. “Maybe finally.”

  “Well, well, well. What a nice little gathering.”

  Mindy stumbled at the sound of Shirley’s voice and nearly lost her balance as she spun around to face her. Earl caught her quickly, steadying her.

  He glared at Shirley. “It’s not like you to show up during family visit time.”

  The smile faded from Shirley’s face. Her glance jerked toward Mindy, and then down at the hand she had entwined with Earl’s. And in that instant, though Shirley quickly put the smile back on her face, Mindy saw hatred burning in her gaze. She shuddered.

  “Normally, I wouldn’t dream of intruding on family time.” Syrupy sweetness clung to her words. “However, it’s CRC policy to encourage healing through open, honest communication.” She looked pointedly at Mindy, her smile flickering briefly. “And it’s also CRC policy to encourage such communication through intervention if necessary.”

  “What are you talking about?” Earl tensed. He looked from Shirley to the door.

  “I’m talking about her.” Shirley pointed a finger in Mindy’s direction. Still smiling. Still sounding so damn sweet. “She’s been lying to everyone about the child she gave birth to at fourteen and put up for adoption. Did you really think you could lie to everyone, Mindy? Did you really think you could hide it forever?”

  Her world spun into a dizzying circle, while her heart froze inside, just as her emotions shattered into a million pieces. And she saw it all flashing before her eyes, and still seeming to hang in front of her like dreams in suspended animation. Frank holding her down. And the horrible things he’d done. The tiny baby she’d held for such a brief moment, and loved with all her heart. Her desperation to keep him safe. And her horror at having her scab ripped off for all the world to see.

  Tears stung her eyes. “I didn’t lie!” The plaintive cry escaped her lips. After all these years; after being so careful, even leaving Earl before he could learn the truth. And now Shirley had gone and blurted it out like a press release. She felt every eye pivot to her. Staring eyes. Hostile eyes. Eyes like her mother’s. Damning her with their accusations. How could she tell them it wasn’t her fault? Even her own mother hadn’t believed her. The hurt she’d felt ten years ago hadn’t eased a bit. It may as well have been yesterday.

  Before she knew it, she was running. Sprinting out of the building. Running so fast her lungs felt ready to burst. She ran until she reached the only place at CRC where she felt safe.

  Chapter 69

  Earl’s clenched fists lifted as if to strike. If anger alone could have killed Shirley, she’d be dead already. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “Me?” Her mouth dropped open. “I’m just trying to help.”

  “The hell you are!”

  He didn’t hear whatever she said next, as he ran from the stunned silence of the room, tearing out the door after Mindy. She’d gotten out a few seconds ahead of him, but it didn’t matter. He knew exactly where she was going. Elbowing past Dex and Jerry, who stood like statues, looking as stunned as everyone else, he headed for their secret place behind the pool house.

  He found her there, eyes puffy and wet. She stood shaking among the trees. A gusty breeze had come in off the ocean, cutting through the dense growth of woods and shrubbery. It brought a chill to the air, and a passerby might have thought she was shivering. Everything made sense so clearly now. The closed door to her past, her refusal to open it and the way she’d run from him when he’d tried to make her.

  “Mindy.” He reached out for her, placing his hand on her trembling shoulder. “You okay?”

  “No.” The word came out in a strangled sob. Tears littered her cheeks. “I’m really not.”

  “Of course you’re not. That was a stupid question.”

  She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Why are you here?”

  He watched her study the ground with half-closed eyes. “Would you like to talk about this?”

  “What is there to talk about? Now you know what I’ve been hiding all these years. Now you can leave.”

  “Is that what you want? For me to leave?”

  “It’s what you’re going to do anyway.”

  “I find that truly amazing.”

  She looked up at him. “What?”

  “How could you know me for so long, and still not know me?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Mindy. Not now. Not ever.”

  She stood shaking, sucking in shallow breaths. “I don’t understand how you can love me. Don’t you think it was awful of me to give my baby away? Mama did.”

  He brushed a tear-soaked tendril of hair from the side of her face, remembering that night on the
patio, and saw their conversation in a different light. Of course she didn’t want to be a kid again. “I’m sorry I pushed you so hard about your past. I should’ve seen something was wrong and let it be.”

  “Don’t be sorry, Earl. It isn’t your fault I couldn’t trust you, or that I pushed you away. I should’ve been strong enough to tell you.”

  “That’s an awful lot to expect of yourself. Especially when your spirit’s been broken.”

  “Whose spirit isn’t broken sometime in life? We all have our burdens to carry.”

  Earl tangled his fingers in her hair, bringing her head to rest against his chest. “Not everyone’s spirit is broken so young. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

  Mindy leaned into him, breathing hard against his chest. “Mama never believed it. She thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend.”

  Mama. Earl had never met the woman, but he suspected mother was a title she didn’t deserve. “Her boyfriend. He raped you?” Anger shot through him, and he wondered how much company Shirley wanted to keep while she burned in Hell.

  Mindy nodded, fresh tears falling. “They killed him in prison. For being a child molester. And Mama blamed me for that, too.”

  Earl dug into his disgust. “I would have liked the chance to kill the scum myself.”

  “Why didn’t Mama believe me?”

  Hurt hung heavy in her voice, and Earl wished he could find some answer that might ease the pain. “People believe what they want to believe.” He’d seen enough falsehoods and rumors played out in the press to know that for sure. “Doesn’t make what they believe any less false.”

  “It’s not fair.”

  “No. It isn’t.”

  “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she said. “No matter what happened in my past, the last two years were my own fault.”

  “Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on yourself?”

  “No.” She shook his suggestion away. “Since I’ve been here, I’ve spent a lot of time watching Darla, thinking about how similar our pasts are, but how differently we’ve turned out. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life running from my past, or letting it define me, or thinking of myself as a victim. I want to have a real future.”

  He held her close, committing every sensation of the moment to memory, her damp tears soaking through his t-shirt, her small gulps of breath, the cool wind shivering past them. He wanted to soak it all in, because it was the moment he’d spent four years waiting for. The moment where she opened herself up to him, and finally became his. “The baby,” he said. “Is that what you meant when you said you had more to tell me?”

  She exhaled. “Yes. Even though I expected you to leave me when you found out. I didn’t want to keep secrets from you anymore. I just didn’t want you to find out like this. And I sure didn’t want anyone else to know. Not for my sake, but for my son’s. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt him to know his dad was a rapist.”

  “He never will.” That much, Earl would make sure of. Even if he had to pay off every newspaper in the country.

  She gave a small nod, and he took that as enough said. Searching for her mouth, he found the moistness of her kiss. Their lips locked hungrily. Tasting her, inhaling her, his need overpowered everything else. He reached for her. Felt the gentle curve of her breast, cupped his hand over it and deepened his kiss. Mindy sighed. Beside him, the taut muscles of her body relaxed. He thought of making love to her, but they’d lingered too long already.

  They should run. The thought crept into his brain unbidden. How long would it take for Shirley and her goons to find them?

  “We can finish this later,” he said, forcing down his need and pulling away. “Right now, we need to go.”

  “You’re not finishing anything with that little tramp!”

  Earl spun around. Shirley stood red-faced in front of him, pointing her finger at Mindy. Ryan and Jim flanked her, and behind her stood Dex and Jerry. He’d waited too long. Clearing his throat, he glared at her. “I’m leaving,” he said. He looked at their guns and stood in front of Mindy. “And I’m taking Mindy with me.”

  “You’re not going anywhere,” Shirley said. “Ryan, take care of Mr. Grayson and Miss LePage. Put them someplace where they won’t cause any more trouble.”

  She turned on her heels like a marionette and marched off, just before Earl caught sight of Ryan rushing him. He swung his fist, catching the little twerp in the jaw, felt someone grab him from behind and heard Mindy scream. Blind fury forced his fist toward a face he didn’t see, but even as he fought, he felt something jab him in the arm.

  Earl kicked at his attacker and heard him yelp, but the fight was in vain. He slumped to the ground. His world went dark.

  Chapter 70

  Danny watched trees, shrubs and water-filled ditches lining US-1 fly by in a blur past his window. Beside him Sarge stared straight ahead, hands latched onto the steering wheel, a grim expression on her face. He tapped her on the arm. “You could slow it down a bit.”

  “Not a chance.” She never looked away from the road. “We’re racing a hurricane. Remember?”

  He remembered. “You don’t believe CRC was evacuated?”

  “Hell fucking no, I don’t believe it. And neither do you. Now loosen up your death grip on that arm rest. You’re starting to cut off circulation in your hand.”

  Danny forced his hand to relax and immediately felt it tingle like it had just woken up from a long nap. They’d been driving since yesterday, in a mad dash to beat Phoebe to the Keys, following a series of freeways. Starting on I-55 in Missouri and ending on I-75 in Florida, trailing it south until they hit the Florida Turnpike. Stopping only for rest breaks and once to grab a burger from a drive-thru. And that, Danny was sure, was only because Sarge wanted to make sure she didn’t pass out before she got to Key Largo.

  Outside, the once sunny sky had turned dark. Winds pushed against the car. Rain that had started as a sprinkle gained in intensity. Phoebe was about to come calling. He looked out at the long stretch of desolate road surrounding them midway between Miami and Key Largo and no longer felt certain of their outcome. Whizzing down the road at speeds approaching one hundred miles per hour, they zoomed past a Hurricane Evacuation Route sign. It pointed in the opposite direction. Fingering the rosary around his neck, he recited the Lord’s Prayer.

  Never taking her eyes off the road, Sarge laid a hand on his arm. “Don’t you worry about a thing, Danny. I was a police officer for over twenty years. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s drive.”

  He finished his prayer. “What about shoot?”

  She smiled. “You see? Two things I know how to do. Don’t you feel better now?”

  Chapter 71

  Scott stood in silence, along with the rest of their group. No one in the room said a word, and he couldn’t help but wonder how many of them would keep Mindy’s secret. “I’ll never be upset about being adopted again,” he said. Preston laid a hand on his shoulder, and he felt his father’s approval in the simple gesture. “I don’t know if my bio mom had the same issues as Mindy, but I think I get now why sometimes it’s better to let someone else raise your kid.” He met his father’s eyes. “I love you, Dad. And Mom, too.”

  Preston nodded. “I know son. I think it’s time we went home.”

  The solitude of the moment was broken abruptly as Nick stumbled through the door. A gust of wind swung it open as he barreled inside, holding a bleeding arm. Blood ran in trails from a wound just below the short sleeve of his t-shirt and dripped off his fingers. He collapsed just inside the door. “I’ve been shot.”

  Frenzied commotion replaced stunned silence as everyone rushed to his side. Walter weaved his way through the crowd, elbowing past Darla and Rory, who’d been jostled out of the doorway when Nick burst in. “Out of the way,” he said. “I’m a doctor. Let me look at him.” He grabbed Nick’s arm, applying pressure to the hole torn through his bicep. “Belinda, run to the clinic and get some alcohol swabs, a s
uturing needle and thread, some gauze and some tape. And hurry!”

  Nick looked around the room. “Where’s Mindy?”

  Scott gaped in horror at the blood oozing down Nick’s arm. “Who shot you?”

  “That asshole Dennis. At Shirley’s request. He’s out in the woods keeping company with Pauline now.”

  Shock claimed Rory’s face. “Shirley would never do that.”

  Nick shot him a scowl and rolled his eyes. “Even you can’t be that stupid.”

  “But…I….”

  “Yes, “Scott said. “I’m pretty sure he is. And Mindy ran out of here after Shirley told everyone about the baby boy she had when she was fourteen and put up for adoption. Earl went chasing after her.”

  “Earl’s still here?”

  “Yeah. Shirley talked him into signing in as a patient somehow. Shirley ran after both of them, with Ryan and three other guards.”

  “Fuck.” Nick shook his head. “Poor Mindy.”

  “You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?” Scott thought of his newspapers. “Or write about it? I’m pretty sure she didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “Hell no,” Nick said. “I would never do that to her. Or her child. And no one else in this room is going to say anything about it either.”

  Darla shook her head in disbelief. “You’re kidding me, aren’t you?”

  Nick glanced from Rod to her. “No. I’m not.”

  “But you’re a journalist. How can you not print the story of the year?”

  “Because it would be cruel,” Scott answered. “What’s your problem with her anyway? You can’t still be pissed about this guy.” He hooked his thumb at Vince. “After all these years? Get over it.”

  Darla narrowed her round, dark eyes at him. “What I think is that Nick’s suddenly turned into a wimp. And trust me; I got over Vince a long time ago. Belinda can have him.”

  Vince pointed at himself stupidly. “What makes you think I’m doing Belinda?”

  “Oh please.”

  Everyone answered at once.