Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy

by Roxane Tepfer Sanford

  He didn’t come see me until late that day. I had been sitting up in bed all day, waiting for him. The skies outside my bedroom window turned from pink, to orange, then a fiery red, and then slowly spilled into a dark red, until the sky ended up a midnight blue color, the same exact color of Ayden’s eyes. Daddy was the last of many visitors that day. Opal came twice with plates full of food, Ayden came often to play a game of checkers, and Heath stopped in to say hello and see if I was feeling better.

  “What do you think of the doll house Santa brought you?” he asked, standing at the foot of my bed with his hat in his hand.

  “It’s wonderful. I am so lucky,” I said.

  “I’m glad you are better, Lillian. You gave us all quite a scare.”

  I didn’t know what to say, except, “I made a terrible mistake.”

  “We all make mistakes. Just be careful next time.” Heath said it in a fatherly way, in a manner that didn’t equal his age.

  I gave Heath the same promise I gave to Daddy when he came in.

  “My world would have ended then and there if you were taken from me,” he said, gazing deep into my eyes. “Your momma and I wanted you in the worst of ways. When she was carrying you, we prayed to have a baby girl. When you were born, it was the happiest day of my life. I need to get to Heaven before you and before Momma, so I can show you both the way when it’s your time. Please don’t go before me,” he pleaded, not imagining at the time that his worst fears were already on their way to be.

  _______________

  Chapter Eleven

  The very night after Opal’s mother and father tragically died in the sinking of the great ship Atlantic, Opal went into labor a month late. Edward and Ayden went to the mainland to bring the doctor back to the island to deliver the baby. Since Momma couldn’t stay by Opal during her excruciating hours of labor, Heath tended to her. Daddy was up in the tower, manning the light. I had been in their house for some time, there for any support needed, but as the labor dragged on and Opal’s screaming and moaning intensified, I became afraid and could no longer listen to it. She cried out for help; she called for God to take the pain away. I covered my ears, unable to bear the torment she was going through. How could any woman want to go through such agony?

  Heath came outside, to where I stood huddled close to the house, shielding myself from the cold breeze. “Are they back yet?” he asked with grave concern.

  “No.”

  “She is going to have the baby soon. She is calling for the doctor. I don’t know what to do. I have read only a small portion about birth in my medical books.”

  Heath wasn’t his usual confident self. He was afraid for his mother and feared if the doctor didn’t arrive, he would have to take over and deliver his own sibling.

  From inside, Opal screamed for Heath. He swung around and ran back in. Opal let out a sound I had never heard before, an agonizing shriek that went right through me, and then there was silence. For a moment, I listened for the cry of a baby, but I heard nothing. My heart stopped. I dreaded that something had gone terribly wrong. I ran in and was about to go into the room, trembling and afraid of what I might see, but Heath threw the door open just as I’d gathered enough courage, and with the brand new baby in his arms, announced, “It’s a girl!”

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was a beautiful baby—a big baby—in Heath’s loving arms.

  “Meet my new baby sister, Elizabeth Ann Dalton.”

  I reached out and allowed the baby to grasp my finger. Just then, Edward and Ayden rushed in, the doctor only steps behind, and stopped in their tracks when they saw the newborn with Heath. The doctor hurried in and went to Opal.

  “What is it? A boy or a girl?” Edward asked as he lovingly gazed at the baby.

  Heath carefully handed him the bundle, then said to his father, “You have a daughter.”

  Tears came to Edward’s eyes as he proudly held his new child. Ayden peered up at her, but he was afraid to touch her. Opal called for Edward. An enormous grin on his face, he went in to see his beloved wife. The doctor gave them both a clean bill of health, and while he was on the island, went to check on Momma. Ayden stayed in the tower while Daddy went with the doctor to see Momma. I stayed with Heath and made Opal a plate of food, which he took in to her.

  “You were wonderful,” I said as he sat in the chair beside the fire. Heath was amazed with himself, and his confidence in a career as a doctor returned.

  “I could have never imagined that birth could be such a miracle. Of course, I knew it in my mind, but to actually witness it, to see the baby take her first breath—” Heath looked off, as if in his mind, he was reliving it all over again.

  I placed a hand on his shoulder, and said, “Your mother was lucky to have you.” He glanced up at me, his eye full of optimism for what life could offer, and he placed his hand on top of mine. The warmth I felt ignited a spark in me that made me tingle all over. Heath appreciated my compliment and thanked me, but his hand lingered, and I couldn’t tell if it was deliberate or not. I liked the way it felt and remained beside him until he eventually slid his hand into his lap. The evening was remarkable, like a dream. We had a new baby on the island, Opal was fine and resting, and Heath had found the dream that had once been lost to the harsh reality of life on Jasper Island. It was hard not to be drawn to his enthusiastic energy and true passion, as it was difficult to fight the urge to admire his good looks and charm, and fall madly in love with him.

  It was a new experience to have a baby on the island. I had never been around babies before and wasn’t certain I would like them. But Elizabeth captured my heart from the moment she grasped her tiny finger around mine and wouldn’t let go. Her eyes were as translucent as Heath’s, and she had his uncontrollably curly hair, though her features were similar to Ayden’s. To my delight, on days that there was no school or we couldn’t get to the mainland, due to bad weather, Opal let me care for Elizabeth. I sat with her by the fire, softly singing Momma’s favorite hymns to her. She always stared up at me with wide, fascinated eyes and drank in everything about me. When she was able to coordinate her pudgy, dimpled hands, she would reach out and touch my face. I liked everything about Elizabeth, from the way she smiled at me, as if I were the most amazing person in the world, to the way she smelled of soft baby powder. She made all kinds of funny faces, her way of expressing herself. She never cried, not once, not even when she was born.

  “She is unusually quiet,” Opal had said with a worried frown.

  By the time Elizabeth turned two, Opal’s general concerns grew specific, and she told me one day what she feared.

  “I think she can’t hear,” Opal said, choking back her tears. “Edward and I made plans to go to Boston to see a specialist. We are leaving at the end of the week.”

  I was holding Elizabeth. I didn’t know anything about babies, so I’d thought she was normal. I would have never guessed she could be deaf.

  Heath announced he was going with them at supper that night, but it was obvious it had not been agreed to.

  “You have to stay with Ayden,” Opal said.

  “I can take care of myself,” Ayden interjected. He was ignored.

  “It’s not the right time for you to travel back to Boston,” Edward told him.

  “First we couldn’t make it for Grandfather and Grandmother’s funerals; now I can’t go with you to see what the doctor has to say about the baby,” he complained.

  “This has been difficult on us all, Heath, but I don’t want to hear another word about it. You are staying here,” Edward said, ending the discussion.

  Heath accepted their decision, but he was not happy about it. Heath needed to experience what the medical field had to offer, and he felt restricted on the island. It was only a matter of time before he turned eighteen and went off to the university; it was only a year away, but that was like a lifetime to Heath. I felt bad for him. I saw how anxious he was to fly through the next year and finally take the path to his lifetime goal and
dream, but it also felt good to know that, at least for a while, Heath would be on the island with us and close to me.

  We waved like mad as the vessel pulled up anchor and headed across the Atlantic towards Massachusetts. The three of us stood on the shore and waited until the ship disappeared into the horizon. Although the feeling was somber, I believed Elizabeth had brought a new light to the island, no matter whether her ears worked or not. I was thrilled to have her; she was like a real-life doll. No longer did I play with Jane, my beautiful porcelain doll. I gave her to Momma. Her eyes lit up when I handed it to her.

  “For me?” she squealed.

  “Yes, Momma. It’s yours. Her name is Jane.”

  “Oh, I love her. Is it my birthday present? How on earth did you get it? You didn’t steal it from the mercantile, did you, Hattie?” Her eyes darkened and filled with fright.

  “No, no, Momma. Daddy gave it to me on my birthday. It wasn’t stolen,” I said.

  She didn’t believe me at first; she was confused and tried to make sense of what I was saying. I leaned in and peered into her eyes, waiting to see if I could see any sign that Momma was coming out of the endless fog that covered her mind and senses. I looked for a glimmer of hope that her madness would vanish and my momma would come back to me. But it wasn’t to be, and my heart sank as she giggled uncontrollably.

  “I promise I won’t tell. I’ll keep her hidden. I love her.” Momma hugged the doll tight then began to sing a sweet lullaby that sounded familiar and gave me a warm feeling.

  Edward and Opal would be away for two weeks. That meant I was responsible for all the meals. Since summer was in full swing, I had all day to prepare, as we once again ate late in the evenings. Over the years on the island I had learned much about cooking from Opal. I had confidence that I could handle all that was expected of me. Heath offered to lend a hand, but I refused.

  Ayden snickered when he heard that. Some things never changed. As much as we had grown and matured during our time on Jasper Island, Heath always stepped up and helped, even if it seemed unmanly, and Ayden stayed far away from those kinds of gestures. If he wasn’t fishing or playing checkers with me in our free time, he was chopping wood or down at the boathouse with Daddy, working on building a new one that had for years been postponed due to the lack of government funds.

  By the time Edward and Opal were due back, the boathouse was expected to be completed.

  When Daddy was there, I often noticed Victor’s ghostly shadow lurking. It was indeed his favorite haunt. As often as Ayden and I saw him, Heath never had.

  “Just your childish imaginations,” he mumbled when he overheard Ayden and me talking about Victor.

  Ayden would get angry when Heath made comments like that to us. “Why would we lie about such a thing?” Ayden shouted.

  “Why not? You are good at making up silly stories.”

  “And Lillian. Would she lie, too?” Ayden waited for an answer, his arms folded over his chest. Heath knew I wouldn’t make up stories, but he couldn’t for one minute believe in ghost stories. To Heath, that’s all they were. There was no proof of Victor’s existence.

  Heath refused to indulge us in conversations of ghosts and make believe. It was enough to have each other, Ayden and I. However, it wasn’t long before we realized we were not the only ones that saw him. Momma saw him, too. She called him Grandfather and told me he came to see her almost every night to read her a story. Daddy was with me, standing at the edge of her bed, when he heard it.

  “What’s she saying?” he asked me. Daddy hadn’t spent much time with Momma that summer. He left her care up to me exclusively, no longer concerned about what she would do or say. He relaxed, and her condition became so ordinary to him that he began to forget what might possibly slip from her memories of years past. I didn’t know how to tell Daddy about Victor—the only thing, besides him, that was correct in her mind.

  “Maybe she is remembering her grandfather from when she was a girl,” I said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

  “She didn’t know her grandfather,” he muttered quietly under his breath.

  It was strange to see him try to make sense of what she said; after all, it was normal for her to talk nonsense.

  “It’s time for her to rest, Daddy; let’s go.” I took his hand and led him out.

  “I have to go to the mainland; do stay here and keep an eye on things.” He gave me a look, the look that told me to keep a close eye on Momma.

  “Of course,” I said, and he kissed her goodbye.

  “I’ll be back before dark.”

  With some time before supper to myself, I decided to take a book and go read out on the bluff, my favorite spot. Since Elizabeth was born, I hadn’t had much time to read; all of my free time was spent with her. I missed her, and she had only been gone for seven days. I missed her warm body cuddled up in my arms and the way she reached out and tugged at my long hair. I thought since I would never want to bear a child, ever, that she was the closest thing to a baby I would ever have. Never would I go through what Opal did; I did not want to be in so much agony that I needed God to take my pain away. I still wanted to travel the world, and I certainly could not do that with a child. If I ever married, my husband would have to understand and respect my wishes.

  I closed my eyes, leaned against the tree, and imagined Heath and I as husband and wife. He would be a famous and successful doctor and stay home in Boston, waiting for me to return from my overseas travels. When we reunited, we would be loving and passionate. He would hold me and kiss me and tell me he longed to have me home and couldn’t have lived another day without me. In Heath’s eyes, I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even more beautiful than Clara. His eyes lingered on me and longed to touch me, but I wouldn’t give in to his manly desires; I would keep Heath at bay, only allowing him to kiss me, that was all. I was not going to have him undress me the way Daddy used to do to Momma. I could never be indecent in front of Heath or allow him to do that thing that made babies. The thought put pure terror into me.

  I opened my eyes to erase where my mind was headed. The vision of Heath undressing me left my body yearning, but my mind screaming no. I had to stop reliving that fantasy; I was too afraid.

  When Heath sat down for supper, I could barely look his way. I was ashamed and embarrassed of my own daydreams. I thought he would see through me and read my mind. Daddy, in the past, would have noticed my fluster, but he was too deep in thought, his eyes focused on the wall.

  “Are you all right, Mr. Arrington?” Heath asked.

  Daddy shook his head to gain back his senses. “Yes, I’m fine,” he answered, and then began to eat. “Your supper is delicious, Lillian,” Daddy said, smiling proudly at me.

  “You cook just as well as Mother,” Ayden said.

  I was pleased, but slightly disappointed that Heath hadn’t told me how good my cooking was. Unlike Heath, Ayden loved to eat. The way to his heart was through his stomach. Over the past years, Ayden had filled out and become a little chubby. In school, he was teased by the girls. They called him Abundant Ayden. It was mean, and I insisted they stop. Then they teased me and accused me of wanting Ayden to be my beau.

  “So what if I do?” I said back, and that made them stop. Ayden had overheard, and I didn’t want to tell him I only said that to make them stop teasing him. I didn’t want him as my beau. Since then, Ayden had been extra kind to me, so much so that it was becoming awkward. Ayden was like a brother to me, nothing more. I made that perfectly clear to him one day when we were by the shore, throwing rocks out into the surf. We had leaned down at the same time to pick up a rock, and when our faces were inches apart, Ayden leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I gasped and stood up straight. From the reaction on my face, he knew he had done something terribly wrong.

  With wide, confused eyes, I pushed him back and yelled, “Don’t you ever do that again, Ayden Alexander Dalton!”

  His face turned bright red, and he stammered for words. Then Heath
walked out of the chicken coop that he was repairing to see what was happening between us. I was too embarrassed to say a word, and Ayden was mortified.

  Heath looked from Ayden to me for an explanation, but we said nothing. Heath sensed it was personal, and backed away, though his eyes lingered on me for a moment before he turned and walked back to the coop.

  I waited for an apology from Ayden, but he remained speechless. So I laid into him and made certain he never tried to kiss me again. “If you ever do that again, I will tell my daddy,” I said, and left him standing there alone, full of regret.

  Opal and Edward returned with the news that we had been dreading. Elizabeth was deaf. They returned sad, but encouraged by all the information the doctor gave them.

  “There are schools for the deaf; Elizabeth will learn sign language,” Opal said as we gathered in the parlor.

  “We will have to send her away?” Ayden asked.

  “There is a school in Hartford. When the time comes, we will move to Connecticut.”

  “Move? When, Mother?”

  “Not until she is around six years old. Until then, we will study the sign language book Dr. Schumer gave us.”

  Heath took the book and scanned it.

  “You won’t be a keeper anymore?” I asked.

  “We won’t be able to stay far from her. But we have many years until that comes to pass,” Edward assured me.

  “Is she healthy otherwise?” Daddy asked.

  “She is. She scores above normal in everything else,” Opal said.

  “That’s good to hear,” he replied. Then he added, “It’s God’s plan. He has a plan for all of us. Sometimes we aren’t aware of what it all means, but in the end, the good and unfortunate happens for a reason. Only God knows why, and we must accept his way and believe it is for the best.”

  Secretly, I questioned God when I was alone in the privacy of my room and wondered why he thought it best for Momma to be crazy. Why didn’t he protect her from the devil? Did he think it was best for people like Opal’s mother and father to drown in the frigid waters off the coast of Nova Scotia? And how could I believe that God wanted Elizabeth never to hear her mother’s voice or her brothers’ laughter? I didn’t know what to think and believed the answers to my questions would come later. I feared all the mysteries of life would unravel and swallow me into a world of darkness, not unlike the cold, dark bottom of the unforgiving sea.