“Judith looks good now, but I guarantee she will bloat up by the end of the summer.” She laughed before turning over, trying to get comfortable.
“Why is it you don’t get along with her? Is it because she is years older?” I asked, helping to adjust her pillow under her neck.
“No,” she replied closing her tired eyes. “It’s because she got everything first.”
“Like what?”
“Never you mind. Go get dressed for the ball. Wear that beautiful sky blue taffeta dress you have, and tell me all about it first thing in the morning.”
I hesitated leaving her alone, but she fell asleep quickly so I stole out, leaving the door slightly ajar.
It took me several hours to prepare for the grand occasion, and I was thrilled to see Richard waiting about for me downstairs. Judith and Anna, along with their notable parents, stood at the entrance to the Van Dorn castle and greeted every guest that arrived by elegant carriage. Then each guest was whisked into the ballroom where the orchestra was already playing away.
“You look stunning, my dear,” Richard said. He placed my arm through his, then led me into the ballroom.
“There are so many people I don’t recognize,” I said. Already there were at least a hundred or so guests, and many more were filing in.
“I will leave it for Judith to introduce you around. For now, dance with me.” Richard gracefully swept me across the dance floor into a sensual waltz. We had become very good dancers; we fit into one another like hand in glove.
“Will you be dancing with every beautiful woman here tonight?”
“Only you and Judith, if she cares to.”
“Would you stay by my side, Richard, all night? Don’t leave me alone with all these people I don’t know,” I implored as we danced.
“You’re exaggerating. You know most of the people here tonight.” He noticed my girlish pout and quickly agreed not to leave my side, and to dance with me more than with Judith.
“Poor Rachael, she is shut away in her rooms, too tired to descend the grand staircase to come socialize with everyone,” I said.
“She has grown large. Sterling is thrilled to be expecting his first child. I don’t
blame him.”
“How is it that you and Judith never had any children?”
“Judith has always feared childbirth. She told me right from the start she never wanted to have children. Besides, she is too old to have children now.”
“That is all right with you?” I questioned. It didn’t seem natural for a woman not to want to give her husband a child, especially a son to carry on the family name.
“I guess it has to be. However, my brother is an exceptionally lucky man.”
I watched the way he gazed over at Sterling, who stood in the entrance of the ballroom with a drink in hand, scanning the room. I had always speculated that Richard’s brother envied and admired his older brother. It was difficult to read their relationship; it was just as complex as that of the two young brothers I had known long ago.
After our dances, we sat and ate, then drank endless glasses of dry champagne before he led me back for more dancing. Richard whirled me around, and I loved the lightheaded feeling the drinks gave me.
Through the smoky room, I tried to spot Sarah and her newly-fiancé, and occasionally I thought I saw her through the thick crowd of people. I still wasn’t sure who her future husband was. So many men I had never seen before!
Richard and I were enjoying ourselves; dancing, laughing - just the way we did when we were alone. Even though we were surrounded by hundreds of people, his eyes stayed locked onto mine, dazzled with delight at my radiant smile.
“You are so lovely, Lillian; you become lovelier by the day. I am fortunate to have such a beautiful woman in my arms,” he whispered in my ear. His revealing words gave me tingles and melted my heart. I was lucky, I thought. I was a woman now and loved without having to join him in his bed and feel unclean. Our relationship was becoming a true fairytale in my eyes. It took a long time, but I had finally had a man in my life who loved me exclusively for who I was. However, when Judith found herself in need of Richard, my daydream came to an abrupt end. I was forced into sharing him with her.
“Come with me to greet our guests, Richard. I shouldn’t be doing this alone,” she snapped, shooting me a look of contempt. Judith’s professed fondness for me was wearing thin; she seemed to be aware of Richard’s adoration of me. Although she held her tongue, it was the fire in her eyes that betrayed her insecurities. I figured she must have been used to her husband’s many adulteries, or at the very least accepted them.
“Of course, my darling. You come too, Lillian,” Richard said, taking us each on one arm, merrily leading the way. We went in search of Sarah, who gracefully flew from one table to the next, introducing the new man who was soon to be joining the elite Van Dorn family. I assumed he must be well educated, his family prominent, and his looks meeting the high standards set in stone long ago. I wondered if Cousin Sarah was any luckier than I was.
“She was just here a moment ago. Maybe they went outside. Let’s look there,” Judith suggested.
The night was dewy, and the moon peeked playfully in and out of the thin clouds that painted the sky. I could have easily thought back to the nights when the moon represented romance and new adventures, but I chose to think ahead and ignore those frequent and painful memories of the past.
Up by the fountains we spotted a couple standing in the shadows, and Judith hurried us along before they made their way back inside, only to lose them in the midst of the hundreds of guests. They were having a private moment, kissing under the peek-a-boo moonlight by one of the ornate fountains when we approached. Judith had no quandary barging in on their time alone, but I lingered behind with a sense of fear that had swiftly filled my being and left the hairs on the back of my neck standing on edge.
“There you two are. Sarah, I would like to introduce your fiancé to Richard, and…” she stopped and appeared puzzled. Judith didn’t know what I was to the Van Dorn family. So she said I was a friend of Richard’s. The moon had once again tucked itself behind a cloud and I couldn’t make out the tall man’s face.
Judith and Sarah shared a cordial kiss as Richard and the man shook hands. I waited behind Richard for a formal introduction. The moment he stepped aside, the moonlight beamed into his brilliant blue eyes. I knew those eyes! Although he was tall with exceptionally broad shoulders, although this man’s hair was darker and tamer than I remembered, it was he, it had to be!
My heart was in my throat as I extended my trembling hand while Sarah properly introduced us. “This is my fiancé, Doctor Heath Dalton. Heath, this is Lillian.” Sarah stopped for a moment, then added, “I’m sorry, your last name?”
They all turned to me, waiting for my voice to come forth. But I couldn’t speak. Heath stared at me with unfamiliar eyes. He didn’t recognize me. He didn’t remember my name. Heath didn’t know who I was!
“Arrington, this is Lillian Arrington,” Richard spoke up with raised, curious brows.
“Pleased to meet you Miss Arrington,” Heath said coolly in a deep, familiar voice. He pulled Sarah up close against him and placed a teasing kiss on the soft spot of her smooth neck - right in front of us. “What a lucky man I am.”
Judith was pleased with her favorite cousin’s newfound happiness. “Indeed you are, Doctor. Come now, let’s go inside for a toast to the happy couple, shall we,” Judith suggested.
“Wonderful idea,” Richard said, nudging me along. My feet remained frozen on the ground as if they were made of stone. Tears that demanded an escape stung madly behind my eyes. Richard noticed my fluster, and of course couldn’t understand what the matter was. Sarah, Heath, and Judith made their way inside, not turning back to see if we were following along with them.
“Lillian, what’s wrong? What has got you so upset?”
Still I could not speak. Richard shook me out of my daze and insisted I answer him.
“It’s him,” I finally managed to choke out.
“Who?”
“Heath.”
“Sarah’s fiancé? What about him?”
Oh, if Richard only knew. The man I was born to love had just appeared back into my life when I believed I would never see him again. Just as I had locked the past away deep in the shadows of my heart, here he was, opening up the memories, and they came flooding out like a powerful, dangerous waterfall.
“You know him from somewhere? You have met him before?” Richard asked, his eyes turning into small slits, narrowing down onto me.
I wouldn’t answer.
“Lillian!”
“Yes, I know him!”
“Well, why didn’t you just say so?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed. He saw my tears, he felt me trembling.
“What happened between you two?”
“It was a long time ago. We were just children,” I said while dabbing my eyes with the handkerchief he offered.
“A childhood friend, is that all? You act as if he was your ex-lover or something. You had me worried. Come, let’s go inside and join in the celebration. You promised me the night. I will hold you to it.”
* * *
Chapter Eight
Sleeping with the scars
For the next several hours Richard gave me everything I had wanted - his time, his attention, romantic dances - and all the while I continually turned and strained my neck to see where Heath was, whom he was talking to, and if he was looking my way. I watched Heath waltz with Sarah, gazing over to where he held her so close, as his blue eyes drank her in. His nose often lingered in the hair I thought was too yellow, like a canary, but it was obvious that Heath thought she had the loveliest hair. Between dances they ate and drank, and he stayed right by her side as she led him around. He didn’t leave her for one minute. And he didn’t look my way once.
“If you’re so preoccupied with him, why don’t you ask to talk?” Richard wanted to know. He was fed up with my erratic dancing.
“He doesn’t remember me,” I said flatly.
“Not remember you? Unthinkable! He is probably preoccupied, that’s all. Perhaps tomorrow when most of the guests leave. Then you two can catch up.”
“Maybe,” I mumbled.
“Have you had enough dancing? I know I have. What do you say we go swimming?”
“Now? This late at night?”
“We’ll steal away. No one will know.”
“I didn’t bring my bathing attire.”
“So don’t wear any,” he teased.
“Oh, Richard, stop it,” I said, pushing him away and right into the back of Sarah’s beloved husband to be.
“Pardon me, I’m sorry,” Richard said and stepped aside. Then, to my utter astonishment he said, “Dr. Dalton, may I have the pleasure of a dance with your beautiful Sarah?”
Heath agreed as any proper gentleman would, and allowed Richard the dance. However, there was an expectation of an exchange, and Heath knew it. He was a gentleman, he had to turn to me and continue with the waltz!
I held my breath for what seemed like forever for him to look at me and take me into his arms. And just when I believed he was ready to acknowledge me, just when Richard winked to indicate he had set the up reunion just perfectly, Rachael’s personal maid, Maude, came rushing up to me. “Miss Lillian, Rachael is calling for you!” she said exasperated and out of breath.
“Is there something wrong?”
“She says she thinks the baby is coming.”
“Did you tell Mrs. Van Dorn or Judith?”
“She requested only you,” she declared and tugged on my sleeve. “We need to hurry.”
“I don’t understand. She needs a doctor.”
It was then that Heath stepped in like the hero he always wanted to be. “I’m a doctor. Take me to Rachael.”
We all rushed upstairs and bolted into the room to see Rachael tossing and turning and moaning in agony. I rushed to her side. “Is it really time?” I asked, wide-eyed.
“Lillian, the pain is terrible!” she cried.
“I will get Sterling,” Richard announced and hurried off. Sarah stood on the opposite side of the bed while Heath rolled up his sleeves and prepared to deliver Rachael’s baby.
“Oh, I can’t watch,” Sarah groaned, holding her hand over her mouth. She quickly disappeared, leaving just Heath and me to tend to Rachael.
The moment took me years back, though now I was watching a grown man, a handsome, sophisticated, real doctor perform the procedure. Heath was virtually a stranger, and if it weren’t for those gorgeous blue eyes, I would have never believed it was him. There was not one hair out of place, and he was so much taller than I remembered. His chin boasted a cleft I didn’t recall. Why had I forgotten so many of his features? I swore his vision remained locked away in my mind so I would never forget.
Heath quickly took over and laid Rachael in a position that women for thousands of years had assumed. “Your baby is almost ready to be born. You can start pushing now,” Heath said in a calm, deep, and assured voice that grabbed Rachael’s attention. Then he turned to me for an instant and requested blankets and a boiled knife.
“I will have Maude fetch those,” I said, and ran out to the hall where she lingered. “Hurry, Maude, and tell Sterling his child is coming!”
I ran back in and grabbed Rachael’s hand. I had never witnessed a birth before, though I could never forget Opal’s screams for mercy when she was delivering Elizabeth, Heath’s baby sister. That was Heath’s first experience as a doctor and certainly one that he couldn’t erase from his mind.
“All right, the baby is crowning. Slow and steady pushes now,” Heath instructed. I was in awe of his confidence and skill as a doctor, though it didn’t surprise me.
“Stop pushing!”
“What’s wrong?” I uttered.
“The cord, it’s wrapped like a noose around the baby’s neck. I have to cut it off. I need that knife!”
Rachael let out a howl I was certain everyone in the ballroom could hear. I ran out into the hall where Richard was attempting to calm Sterling, who was outside pacing, frantic.
“We need a knife, now! Hurry!”
Richard hugged me close, and as I turned to go back inside, I caught Heath watching us for only a second. Then he quickly turned his attention back to Rachael and reassured her. He held her hand and told her the baby was going to be fine. And he was right. The baby girl was born only minutes later. A healthy baby girl Rachael shockingly named, Vivienne.
“What is she thinking?” Richard shouted when told.
“It‘s a pretty name,” I replied.
“Judith is aghast.”
“It’s late. Go to bed. I’m exhausted. There is nothing you can do about it now.”
The look of fury in his eyes lingered with me as I tried to fall asleep. The thought of Heath’s blue eyes kept me from sleeping at all.
First thing the next morning, Richard was rushing me about, insisting we leave right away.
“But I thought we weren’t leaving until later!”
“Judith is furious. And I cannot face my own brother and his wife any longer.”
“All because of the name of the child?” I asked in amazement.
Richard had the butler take my suitcase and load it up. I followed behind, still groggy from my lack of sleep.
“I thought I would be able to speak with Heath today.”
“Another time.”
I had waited what seemed like a lifetime to see Heath Dalton again. How could I stand leaving without knowing if he truly did not remember me? Richard wouldn’t hear of my protest and lifted me up kicking and screaming into the coach. “This is ludicrous!” I yelled as we headed further away from the Van Dorn estate.
“Certainly is.”
“What do you think I’m referring to?” I snapped.
“The name of the child!”
“NO. Your behavior.”
<
br /> “You don’t understand.”
“How can I possibly understand? You have kept the mysterious Vivienne a secret from me,” I spat and faced away from him.
“I didn’t want to stir up old problems,” he mumbled.
“Well, apparently they have been stirred. So what are you doing to do about it? Run away? Hide? Never speak to your brother or Rachael again?”
“Exactly!”
The fight between Judith and Richard over old secrets and lies caused Judith to stay away from the city. I was pleased, grateful not to have her around. However, Richard didn’t find the pleasure in it like I did, and he retreated from everyone, including me. His seat was empty for every one of my performances, and my heart sank when I came home and he wasn’t there.
“Where did Mr. Parker go this evening?” I asked Randolph.
“Didn’t say, miss.”
It was the second week being alone at night. My mind spun wildly with thoughts of Heath and Richard. I felt neither of them had me in their thoughts. While Richard dwelled on things from the past he couldn’t change, so did I. We were both miserable, and it was a mutual feeling I thought might bring us closer together, but it hadn’t.
When we met by chance when he and I arrived home at the same time, I confronted him. He looked terrible! There were dark circles under his tired, weary eyes, and I could not fathom how the name of one innocent little baby could cause him such misery. I was aware that Judith had some resentment toward Richard; however, I didn’t realize to what extreme it had escalated.
I followed Richard about like a lost puppy until he finally became annoyed and addressed me. “What!”
“Don’t you want to tell me your troubles?”
“Not tonight, Lillian.”
“Tell me. I care deeply for you. I hate to see what you are going through. Isn’t there any way I can help?” I believed he saw the innocence in me and pitied my simplicity.
Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy Page 66
