The park was like a safe haven, a private retreat every afternoon. Heath and I would stroll without talking much, side by side, kicking up the crisp leaves with our shoes. Most of the time, the leaves stuck to the bottom of my dress, and Heath was kind enough to pick every one off before we headed back into the courtroom for the afternoon sessions.
Witness after witness came forward for the prosecution. I was surprised that Ned’s parents, Norman and Martha Griffin, never came to court. When I nervously asked Felix during a brief recess, he revealed that the mother had died of a sudden illness and the father was nowhere to be found.
Wanda, Tilly, and Phoebe were all up on the witness stand that week, describing Richard as an adulterous, egotistical man who was obsessed with Ned Griffin’s downfall.
Now the jury heard it all. They took note of how Richard slept with all these women behind his wife’s back and gloated over his theater production. He spoke of Ned to all these women, and supposedly said that he would do whatever it took to keep Ned from ever becoming an equal in the business.
Even Bart Wilco took the stand for the prosecution and revealed Richard’s illegal activities - money laundering and drugs. This was leading up to me. Felix was building his case to have me step in. I was the decisive factor, the one who could have him locked away for good.
One week dragged into the next, the trial was moving slower than expected. Two of the jury members became ill with some kind of stomach flu and court was postponed for two days. Then Seymour Stern’s wife tragically died, holding up the trial for another week.
I was thrilled when Heath came to my suite with the first letter from Ayden. He came into the sitting room and stood beside me while I brushed my hair before bed.
“Ayden says the weather has been rather mild, no significant storms to speak of. All is well with the Coopers; they ask about you both often, and Hazel sends her warmest regards. The third keeper arrived. His name is Otto Moore, a kindly old keeper who keeps to himself most often,” Heath read. He scanned the remainder of the letter, then with a flushed face, handed it to me. “This is meant for you to read. I‘ll be in my rooms if you need anything,” he said quietly.
I put down the brush and grasped the letter in my trembling hands. I missed Ayden terribly. Weeks seemed more like months. I felt guilty because I hadn’t taken the time to write to him. When I wasn’t in court, Heath and I were in the park, walking and talking. And at the end of each day, I was exhausted and queasy, and retreated to bed early. Heath continually questioned me. “You don’t look healthy. Do you have headaches, dizziness? Are you sleeping well enough?”
“I go right to sleep. I am simply worn out from the emotional stress of the trial and the burden of seeing Richard nearly every day,” I replied. “Now stop being such a typical doctor and pestering me.”
“All right, I will leave you be. But if these symptoms get worse, you will tell me?” he implored with intense seriousness.
I agreed, to appease him, and pretended to enjoy my food when I could barely tolerate the look or smell of it.
When I finished reading Ayden’s words of longing and love for me, I folded the letter and placed it under my pillow. It was a way of keeping his love close and filling my dreams with his handsome face.
It took both Heath and me by surprise when the evening before the trial was set to resume, we spotted Sarah and Judith in lobby of the hotel. For some odd reason, they were checking in.
We were on our way to the stores to do some Christmas shopping when Heath stopped in his tracks. I stopped to see what had caught his attention, and that’s when Sarah turned around. Her woeful eyes welled up with tears as Heath shunned her. He took hold of my hand and escorted me along.
“Are you going to ignore her forever?” I asked curiously when we were outside and walking along the avenue. A part of me wanted him to tell me that he would never have room in his heart for anyone but me. But the other more honest side of myself knew it was wrong to be so selfish, to have Heath hurt Sarah, as well as himself. She was good for him; she could give herself to Heath unconditionally. Heath deserved to be fulfilled. I could never give him that, and the thought pained me.
Heath didn’t respond to my question. He walked briskly, with his mind seemingly in deep thought. I struggled to keep up, and finally, when we turned the corner, I had to grab his arm to make him slow down.
Heath swung around and stopped, lowering his head so I wouldn’t see his obvious pain. It was my fault he was in so much pain. I had chosen to give myself to Ayden and slam the door on any possible chance we might have had to be together. But I didn’t know the way Heath cared for me; I couldn’t have. As far as I knew, Heath loathed me, despised me for what I had done in my past. I knew this by the way he had treated me so badly when I returned to Savannah. He was the one who had hidden his love for me all that time, when he could have come forth and revealed the truth at any time. He should have come to me. Why, on that fateful night of his engagement to Sarah, did he pretend not to know me? I could only speculate as to the reasons. I never would dare to ask, for I didn’t want to know the answers. So, why did it feel as if it were my fault entirely?
I had an opportunity to tell Heath I knew all about his betrayal of Sarah, that he had scarred himself to have an excuse to return to the lighthouse station where we would meet again. But should I take it? If so, I could lose what little Heath and I had. If I didn’t, the burden of his pain would haunt me forever.
We stood before one another, shivering from the cold, and I made Heath look at me by lifting his chin with my cold fingers. My mind struggled with what direction to take. What to do, what to do? I asked myself while our eyes met and locked. Then it came to me. I was going to do in the end what was right for Heath, and with a heavy heart, I made my ultimate decision.
“Heath,” I began with a heavy lump in my throat. “Sarah loves you.”
Heath violently shook his head no. “Please, don’t say that.”
“You can make things right. You have a second chance. She is the one for you,” I cried and reached out to stroke his cheek.
Heath seized my hand. “You don’t understand,” he murmured, still holding my hand in his. “If only . . .”
“Ayden,” I choked. “I love Ayden.” My blurted-out words were meant as my only defense to fend off the sudden overwhelming desire to have Heath hold me and kiss me. My heart raced, my pulse quickened at the thought that he was about to lunge forward and place his lips onto mine.
Heath’s face went blank. I felt his heart sink into despair.
“Go to Sarah and proclaim your love to her, please,” I begged.
Heath stared at me, looking deeply into my eyes to see if I was being truthful, if there was any sign of love for at all for him. When he saw nothing, when I successfully concealed my profound, never-ending love for him, he let go of my hand and nodded in acceptance.
“Perhaps you’re right. I will give my heart completely and unconditionally to her,” he said, then added with a hurt, choked-up voice, “If that’s what you want.”
No, that’s not what I want! My heart screamed. However, it was the right thing to do. It had to be. For once, I wanted to do what was right!
“Yes,“ I said in a tight, pained voice, while blinking back the burning tears that were desperately trying to escape. “That is what I want.”
* * *
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Love is the antidote
My timing to let Heath’s love go couldn’t have been worse. The day I was scheduled to take the witness stand was the same day Heath reconciled with Sarah. And though he sat in court and faithfully supported me, his mind was definitely elsewhere. Now, Sarah sat blissfully beside him, after deserting the defense side. Heath didn’t hold his gaze on me as I nervously walked up to take my oath. Instead, he was listening with devoted interest to what Sarah whispered in his ear. They looked good together, I told myself as I raised my right hand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth, so help me God. But was Heath truly happy? I wasn’t completely convinced.
My attention turned to Richard as I stated my name for the record. He maintained a soft smile as he looked over to me, then he discreetly waved and mouthed a muted, hello. I swung my eyes away and focused them on Felix. He came forward, and a hush fell over the room. This is what everyone was waiting for; I was the one who was going to seal the deal, wrap up the case, and assure Richard’s murder conviction.
My hands were trembling so badly that I had to sit on them, just to make them stop. My throat was bone dry, my stomach so queasy from nerves and a debilitating stomach bug I couldn’t shake.
“Mrs. Dalton, can you tell the court when exactly you met Richard Parker?” Felix began his direct examination in a calm, assertive tone.
“I was fifteen,” I stated.
“And under what circumstances were you introduced?”
“I was in Savannah, Georgia, and he noticed me standing alone outside a store.”
“Did he approach you after seeing you standing alone?”
“Objection, leading the witness!”
“Sustained.”
Felix cleared his throat, then proceeded. “Tell us exactly what occurred the first time you and Mr. Parker met.”
“He introduced himself as a commercial illustrator and told me how stunning I was. He offered to sketch me.”
“A nude sketch?” Felix slipped in. Another objection, followed by a reprimand by the judge. “I will not tolerate this line of questioning Mr. Lowell!”
“Forgive me, Your Honor,” Felix apologized, and turned back to me. “Did he say what kind of sketching he did?”
“No.”
“Did he state you would be paid if you agreed?”
“Yes.”
“Now moving ahead, Mrs. Dalton, how is it you left Savannah with Mr. Parker and his wife, Judith?”
“I had no place to live at the time; I was orphaned,” I testified, knowing full well as soon as Richard’s attorney cross examined me my whole life would be an open book. Everything that I had phrased so tactfully would suddenly be blasted apart and exposed for all to hear. “And Mr. Parker offered to take me to New York City for a while until I earned enough money to return to Maine where I was from.”
“And how would you gain these funds?”
I anxiously looked over at Heath who nodded with assurance, then shifted my eyes to Richard. For the first time, I saw his mask of condescension replaced with one of remorse and possible regret. However, Richard was a grand illusionist and not to be trusted. Though he appeared benevolent, I told myself it was just a con. Richard felt nothing for me. He would not think twice about using me again.
I went on to describe how Richard introduced me to Bart Wilco and soon after had me hooked on drugs and a part of the cast in his risqué stock company.
“Please, Mrs. Dalton, would you describe what kind of theater production you became part of under the guidance and direction of Mr. Parker?”
“It was a burlesque show,” I mumbled in shame.
Felix continued through late morning and then, after lunch, began with the questions about my role in the production, while my intimate, humiliating relationship with Richard remained temporarily undisclosed.
Court broke for the day and at Mr. Stern’s suggestion we gathered in his office for a short meeting before I was to take the stand the next day. I was relieved when Heath came along with me, for now I normally ate lunch without him. And, although Felix stepped in to keep me company, all I could think about was where Heath and Sarah were and what they were doing.
“What about Sarah?” I politely asked.
“She is having dinner with her cousins. Please don’t dwell any of that,” Heath said. “Let’s work on getting you through this awful testimony you’re forced to endure.”
I couldn’t help but feel despondent. I may have pushed Heath to be with Sarah, but it hurt me more than I had anticipated. And not receiving any more letters from Ayden only added to my misery. Even Heath thought it was odd when the letters came to an abrupt halt, yet he managed to brush it off with a logical explanation. “This time of year storms blow in without warning and stay for weeks on end,” he consoled me, after returning from his first dinner with Sarah. I figured he would be giddy with happiness, but when I peered closely into his clear blue eyes, I only saw a reflection of my own distress.
“But Ayden wrote how mild the weather had been,” I cried. Heath was tired and drained from more than a long day winning back Sarah’s affections. I knew she couldn’t resist Heath in the end, as her letters indicated, but Heath didn’t know that. I worried he’d learn of the letters she’d sent that went unanswered. I would deal with it when the time came.
“Lillian, dear Lillian,” Heath came forward to hold me. I stepped back, far from his reach, which snapped him back into reality.
“I will send a telegram tomorrow, if that will ease your worries,” he said, and awkwardly reached into his trouser pocket for his room key.
“Thank you,” I sighed.
“Get some sleep. You look tired. Or is it melancholy that consumes you, the way it does me?”
“She took you back. Sarah loves you.” My voice was dry and tight. “Doesn’t that make you happy?”
“What matters is that you are happy. Do you understand? That‘s all I want.” He turned back to me and in one last desperate attempt to see if I would change my mind proclaimed, “For if you are not, I will end my quest to win Sarah’s forgiveness right now.”
“I am happy,” I convincingly told him. “You need to accept that.”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said flatly. “But I guess I should try, huh? After all, my own brother won your heart. He’s a lucky man.”
Heath took a step into his hotel room, then eased back and added, “I will always be there for you Lillian. Always.”
“You understand that the personal and sometimes embarrassing questions Felix will ask are very important to this case. Mr. Parker raped you, held you hostage in a sick adult world, and used you as a pawn in his plan to ruin Ned Griffin. When that plan failed, when you ran and ended up in the arms of Ned, Richard became enraged and murdered him. The jury needs to believe that Richard was an abusive, cruel, and evil man who would not think twice about murdering a rival.”
“I don’t see how the details of our intimate relationship will help,” I said, feeling sick at the mere thought of reliving what Richard had done to me.
Felix stepped forward and reached for my hand. Heath stayed back and listened closely.
“You were only a child, a victim. You didn’t know better. By revealing the intimate details, you will look credible to the jury. They will know you’re not lying just to seek revenge. Do you understand?”
“What about cross examination, Felix? Richard’s attorney will tear her apart. Richard knows everything about her . . . everything,” Heath locked eyes with me as he spoke. “Details about her past that no one should ever have to relive. Then, on top of that, the facts could be twisted around to make Lillian look bad.”
“We will handle that. Just trust us. We won’t let that happen,” Mr. Stern spoke confidently.
At dinner, Heath was exceptionally quiet and deep in his own thoughts. We found a small, quaint restaurant not far from the courthouse, which on any other occasion would have been romantic. I mentioned that to Heath, torturing myself. “You should bring Sarah here to dine.”
Heath frowned curtly. “What are you going to order?”
“I don’t feel like eating.”
“You have lost enough weight since we arrived. I will order for you,” he said scanning the menu.
“Did you send Ayden the telegram?” I asked.
“This morning.”
“I hope this trial gets wrapped up soon,” I sighed.
“I think we have a way to go.”
“I wanted to return to the lighthouse for Christmas,” I said glumly.
&nb
sp; He gazed over the menu and added, “As did I.”
“What do you plan to buy for Sarah?” I boldly inquired.
“I don’t want to talk about any of that.”
The waiter came over and took our order. Then, when he was out of sight, I persisted. “It’s such a beautiful time of year for an engagement. The store windows are filled with lovely diamond rings.”
Heath slammed down his glass of wine. “Do you have to be so insensitive?” he snapped.
“I’m sorry,” I said, choked up with emotion. “It’s so difficult for me to watch you fall in love with her.”
Heath reached for my hands and held them tight. “I am not falling in love with her. I am simply getting on with my life. What do you expect? Need I remind you we have no choice, that you have given me no choice?”
“I know.” I said with a sniffle. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. This is going to take time, for both of us. After the trial is over, I will take you back to Jasper Island, and then I will return to Boston to make a new life for myself.”
“And Sarah?”
“Yes, with Sarah. And you will go on with your life with Ayden. And we’ll each have our own children, and life will go on. I guess we’ll see each other at weddings and funerals,” he said with heavy cynicism. “What is it you want me to say? Do you want me to ask you to leave Ayden for me? I would, if I believed you could. You love him. I know you do. You know how hard it is for me to say that? Do you?”
“It’s so hard to let go,” I sobbed.
“Let go of what? Me? Please. Ayden is perfect for you. He loves the sea, that damn lighthouse, and most of all, you. That man adores you,” he said in a lighter, voice, as his tears flowed freely down his flushed cheeks. “You will be fine. If I thought otherwise, I would demand you choose me.”
“I didn’t want you to ever know,” I confessed.
“I am glad I know. How lucky am I to have someone like you love me. It is an honor,” he said with a sparkle in his heavenly blue eyes. That sparkle sent my heart soaring as high as the stars that Heath and I used to gaze upon long ago.
Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy Page 88
