Every Day I Loved You

by Robin Edwards

  Once outside, Liam and I headed away from the hotel the reunion was being held at and into his car, “Liam, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted before and the things I said. I meant what I said but I didn’t have to say it the way I did. I’m really sorry.”

  “I’m glad you did, you know. It was what I needed to hear, I’ve been thinking a lot about you the past few weeks and me mum said that maybe it was a good thing this happened now because I could finally move on and really take my music seriously. Do something with it, yeah?”

  “Your mom told me the same thing this morning.”

  “Did she?” he glanced at me as he drove.

  “Yeah, I came by to return your stuff that she gave me when I first came back and she sat me down and told me that I needed to tell you to move on,” I said.

  “That’s my mum alright.” he laughed.

  “Do you think she’s right?” I asked suddenly. “I mean do you agree with her?”

  “I don’t know, maybe she is. You confuse me all the time, Mags. I don’t know what you want anymore and maybe if we get on with our lives maybe we could be just friends again, yeah?”

  “Maybe you’re right. Things used to be so simple and fun between us and then somewhere along the way it just became confusing and hurtful.” I shrugged.

  “I know where it went wrong.”

  “Where did everything go wrong?” I asked. I was curious.

  “It went wrong when you started to find me sexy.” Liam wiggled his eyebrows.

  “You’re such an idiot!” I laughed.

  “Seriously, my mum’s probably right. As much as I love you, Mags…as much as I’ve always loved you I can’t make you love me back.”

  “I do love you, Liam.”

  “No, you don’t but that’s okay you’ve got Roger now and if that’s what you want, I’m not going to interfere. In fact, I’ve got some great news to tell you,” he said smiling.

  “What is it? What’s the great news?”

  “A few weeks ago, my new manager contacted me and said that he was able to arrange for me to be one of the opening acts for the Wexley Brothers while they tour throughout Europe.”

  FIFTEEN

  The stars started to disappear behind a blanket of dark grey indicating that a storm was coming and we were about to get hit with a lot of rain any minute now. None of that mattered, however, because Liam just confessed to me that he was going on tour throughout Europe for at least six months if not longer.

  “You knew this whole time and it didn’t ever occur to you to tell me?” I asked as I got out of his SUV and slammed the door once we pulled into his driveway. The sound of thunder cracking could be overhead and a gust of wind blew past us as we stood on his front lawn.

  “Why are you angry? I thought you’d be happy for me?”

  “Why am I angry? You’ve been lying to me for weeks, Liam!”

  “No, love, I have not lied to you ever. I did not tell you because I wanted to surprise you. I thought you’d be as excited as I have been.” his smile disappearing.

  “Why would I be happy about this? You’ll be gone for months if not longer.”

  “You of all people should know what it’s like to be gone for long periods of time.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as heavy drops of rain started to pour down around us, drenching us quickly.

  “It’s raining, let’s go inside and you can yell at me more,” Liam said urging me to go with him.

  “No, I’m not going inside, I want you to answer me, Liam.”

  “You know, I don’t get you. You’re the one that ran away and disappeared for six years barely keeping in touch with your mum and da and not speaking to me because you had your Roger. You know, I loved hanging out with you when you came back because I thought you were here to stay. I didn’t think I was just your puppet boy until Roger took you back.” Liam spat out.

  “What? I never thought you were my puppet boy.”

  “Then why are you upset? I overheard you yelling at Roger earlier, It looked like the two of you broke up again and if that’s the case, then good riddance but that doesn’t mean you can come crawling back to me. I’m going on tour, Mags, whether you like it or not. Now, you can stay outside but I’m going in. Maybe me mum was right all along.” Liam said.

  “What is she right about? What did say about me?” I said wiping rain out of my face.

  “You’ve been running away your entire life, Mags, afraid to love anyone so that they couldn’t love you in return. Look, I’m sorry I hurt you back in school and I’m sorry we weren’t each other’s first for everything like we planned and I wish I could go back in time and fix all of it but I can’t.

  I can’t fix you, only you can do that. I love you Mags but I can’t keep sitting here waiting. I’ve made up my mind and I am going to be on that plane tomorrow to Los Angeles to meet up with my manager and some producers but if you want to say goodbye to me and wish me well, the shuttle will be here tomorrow at eight in the morning. I hope you’re here in the morning and if not, I won’t be angry. Good night, Mags.” Liam said as he headed inside.

  “Liam…” I pleaded.

  “Good night, Mags and get inside, yeah? It’s hammering.”

  ****

  I couldn’t sleep at all last night, half afraid that I was going to miss Liam getting on the shuttle in the morning but also because I was upset by the idea that Liam was going to be gone for a long time. I was afraid that I’d never see him again.

  I didn’t think the irony of the situation was all that funny but I wasn’t surprised. I took off six years ago to go on my own adventure and here he was about to leave for his and I didn’t like it one bit. Still, I didn’t want to see him go but I couldn’t hold him back from pursuing something he was passionate for once. I couldn’t hold him back just because I was being selfish but I was going to miss him just the same.

  “Do you really have to go?” I asked in the morning as he hauled his luggage out to the curb.

  “Yes, Mags, I really do have to go. Now, I want you to do me a favor.” he exhaled as he tugged on the lapels of his jean jacket that I wore practically every day.

  “What’s that?”

  “I want you to continue taking care of this little guy for me and keep wearing it every day and I also want you to help take care of Oliver. I’m going to try and video chat with him as much as I can but I’m going to ask him to invite you over sometimes to join him. Make sure he behaves in school and doesn’t turn into a wanker during the beginning of his freshman year, pretend you’re his older girlfriend, yeah?”

  “Yes, to the watching over him thing but it’s a definite no to the older girlfriend idea.” I laughed.

  “He’ll be gutted to hear that.” he smiled.

  “I’m going to miss you, you know,” I said looking down.

  “Hey,” he said forcing me to face him. “I’m going to miss you too but it’s going to be alright, you and me. It’s better this way.”

  “Liar.” I smirked but I knew that this probably was going to be it for us. Liam was extremely talented and lucky to be represented by one of the biggest management companies in music today. This was just going to be the start of a new life for him, a life that didn’t involve me.

  Sure he’ll go on tour for six months and then his popularity will blow up for the second time in his life and he will start to get bombarded with interviews, crazy fans, acting opportunities and so much more. He’ll hardly be around and when he does find the time to visit, he’ll have changed so much and I’ll just be that girl he left behind.

  “Hey, my ride is here. You okay?” he said looking at me as the driver loaded his luggage into the back of the van.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Go on, get in that shuttle.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” he asked again.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just six months right?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I think so. I won’t know until I get to Los Angeles,” he said caress
ing my cheek with his thumb.

  “Then you better go then. Sooner you get to Los Angeles, the sooner I’ll find out when you’re coming back to me.” I chuckled slightly for his benefit.

  “Goodbye, Mags.” Liam pulled me into a hug. “Just don’t go changing your number on me.”

  “I won’t,” I said, wiping my nose as Liam waved one last time before getting inside the shuttle.

  The driver started the engine and the van slowly pulled away from the curb. I couldn’t see Liam inside but I waved anyway, tears falling harder the father the van got.

  SIXTEEN

  “So what happened next?” Dr. Naubert asked.

  “Nothing, once his van pulled away that was it that was the end.” I sniffed, trying to wipe my nose but the tissue was overused and no longer did its job.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Margaret,” he said handing me another tissue.

  “That was the end, or so I thought,” I said blowing my nose.

  “What do you mean?”

  “When the shuttle van pulled away, I dropped to my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. I couldn’t help it you know, tears kept coming down and down. At first, I thought it was just six years of pain, sorrow, guilt adding up but I realized at that moment as I dropped to the ground on my knees crying my eyes out, I was vulnerable for the first time and he wasn’t there to see it and then I heard it.”

  “Heard what?” Dr. Naubert asked.

  “His voice, Liam’s voice.”

  “Hey, shh. Shh. Don’t cry.”

  “Liam?” I looked up and there he was, kneeling next to me.

  “Yes, love. It’s me,” he said pulling me to him.

  “What are you still doing here?” I asked, glancing around him to see the shuttle van stopped a block away.

  “I knew if I got on that van, I would be doing the same thing you did but this time I couldn’t guarantee I’d see you again and I’ll be damned if I let history repeat itself. I don’t care what me mum said, I’d miss you too much. I can’t find balance this way.”

  “What about your music, Europe and all that.”

  “I’m still going but I can’t go unless I hear it,” he said.

  “Hear what?”

  “I want you to tell me what you want from me. I want you to tell me how you feel about me but only say it you mean it. Only if you feel for me the way I feel about you.”

  “Of course I love you, Liam. I’ve always loved you…I just…”

  “Shh, I know, you don’t have to say any more,” Liam said before he kissed my tears away. “If you said you didn’t love me back or if I kept going on that van, I was afraid I was going to lose my mind.”

  “You better get going,” I said. “They might just leave without you.”

  “No, they won’t, they have to wait for me. It doesn’t matter anyway, I wasn’t going to leave you the way I did. Will you come to Europe with me, Mags?”

  “You want me to go on tour with you?” I asked.

  “Yeah, will you come with me?”

  “Won’t you get in trouble?” I wondered.

  “Maybe, but I still want you to come with me. I don’t want to do this without you. It was either Peace Corps or Europe remember? So will you come?”

  “Um, yeah, of course, I will.”

  “So that’s it? That’s why you haven’t been keeping up with your sessions with me?” Dr. Naubert asked after I finished my story about how everything turned out with Liam.

  “That’s it. I’m sorry it wasn’t something you could really analyze, I did write in my journal that it was going to be a little lackluster.”

  “Yeah, it definitely was. You may not have written in it every day but I can see that you wrote in it when it mattered.”

  “So, doc, what now? Do you think I’m crazy? Am I going to get some pills or what?”

  “The opposite, in fact, I think you’re finally cured.”

  “What? Just like that?” I asked.

  “Margaret, there was nothing wrong with you the entire time. Despite what your mother thinks, you were never broken. You just needed to work this out on your own and I knew having a journal would force you to open up and be honest with yourself and looks like you have just done that.”

  “So that’s it huh? I’m finally normal again.” I smiled.

  “If that makes you feel better, then I’ll go with that. Just answer one thing for me if you could?”

  “Sure, what is it?”

  “If you’re here now, what became of Liam?”

  “OH, he’s still traveling all over Europe. They wouldn’t let me tag along so I was sent on a flight back home but that’s okay, we talk when we can. I know he’ll come back home to me and when he does we’ll make up for lost time. We will make up for every single day that I loved him.”

  The End

  I wanted to thank all of you for taking the time to read Every Day I Loved You, Book One of the Coming Home series. This book has been a major labor of love and I took a risk in writing a book that was slightly different than my usual books, but I had this idea and I just had to run with it. I hope you loved it as much as I did and I can’t wait to hear from all of you about it.

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  About the Author

  Robin Edwards was born in Lewiston, Maine. She writes Contemporary Fiction books as well as the occasional Clean Romance story all of which are written to get your heart pounding and your pulse beating. Her approach is to develop gotta love them and hate them characters and end the story happily ever after.

  Her books are recommended for mature audiences, 18+ years of age who enjoy a unique choice of characters and situations with twists and turns that are diverse from the humdrum romance fiction.

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  Every Day I Loved You (Coming Home Series, Book One)

  by Robin Edwards is a publication by

  © 2018 Second Chances Press.

  www.secondchancespress.com

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