Remorse and Reconciliation
Page 10
Elizabeth and I were both happy to learn that Bingley and Jane have settled their differences and are now in a formal courtship. Jane told Elizabeth she expects them to be engaged soon and to marry in January or February. I am still dismayed that I told Bingley I did not see any evidence that Jane loved him when they first met. If I had kept quiet or told him I could not tell about her affection for him, he and she might be married by now. However, it looks like everything will work out, and once again, maybe the separation they suffered will strengthen them and their love.
I should not fail to mention the almost unbelievable change in the Bennet family since last November. Perhaps it is the fact that one daughter is now advantageously married and the other soon shall be, but Mrs. Bennet’s demeanor is remarkably changed. She is reasonably calm and composed. She no longer complains of fluttering nerves, and her posture and dress are much improved. The change in Mary is just as astounding. Jane, with advice from Elizabeth, took Mary under her wing, and continued what Elizabeth had started, to improve her posture, dress better, take more care with her hair and face, and try to become more outgoing. I had always thought her quite homely, but her transformation has shown her to be almost as attractive as her sisters. No one would ever call her beautiful, but I believe I would say attractive is a fitting description. Lydia has become an extraordinarily pretty girl, and was quite subdued at the wedding, but Kitty told me that her father told her in no uncertain terms that she would act a proper gentlewoman or he would send her home. I have a feeling she still may be undisciplined in her home environment. Only time will tell. Elizabeth and I wonder if a finishing school might be good for her and have talked about paying for her to go to a school in Bath.
Finally, I must comment on the new life that Elizabeth and Kitty have brought to Pemberley. It no longer feels like a big, empty house. There is an atmosphere of happiness and love which is evident in the staff as well as the family. I am looking forward to having three or four children and hearing the halls and grounds filled with their laughter. I believe I have discovered that the real me is not the stern, taciturn man I used to present to the world, but an optimistic romantic who wants to live happily ever after with the most wonderful woman in the world.
The End