Sufficient Grace

by Jessica Greyson

  Grace broke the seal. She read it once turning a hot red then pale. She read it over again, then once more.

  “It can’t be true. Mildred read this. Tell me that I am reading this wrong.”

  “What is it?” she asked coming to her friend’s side.

  Grace shoved the letter into her friend’s hand. Milly’s eyes ran over the letter once, her jaw dropping open in disbelief.

  She leaned closer to read it once more in detail. “You are going to stay!” squealed Mildred at the top of her voice. “Your pa is the new sheriff. I can’t believe it myself. You are going to stay!” and she flung her arms about Grace’s neck and whirled her around. Milly let go of Grace’s neck and held her hands with a squeal. “Aren’t you excited!”

  “I just told you what happened with...” Grace cleared her throat. “How am I ever going to live in the same town as him?”

  “He is a real gentleman,” Milly said with an arch smile.

  “I can never look him in the face again!”

  “It can’t be all that bad Grace.”

  “Yes, it can. It is about ten times worse than you can ever imagine Mildred. Here he saves me, and I am not even grateful because I am so embarrassed and flustered and... at what I did and now I have to live in the same town as him. I don’t see why you just let him be the sheriff! He is good. I mean if he can track down a pack of outlaws and rescue inconsiderate girls, he is excellent, and there is nothing more needed for a sheriff. You don’t need my father.”

  “Just because it feels awkward doesn’t mean it is bad.”

  “Yes, it does!” Grace whispered vehemently.

  “Well, if you ask me this letter gives you ten times more reason to come with me to the party tonight.”

  “I don’t have anything to wear.” She tried to excuse herself.

  “Yes, you do. I know there are plenty of fashionable dresses in your trunk. Come on Grace don’t be a spoilsport. Come with me! Please!”

  “Will he be there?” asked Grace seeking some way out of this mess.

  “He? I don’t know a he.”

  Grace glared at Mildred. “You know what I mean.” Her voice was almost cold but certainly calculating.

  “He usually doesn’t go to such things. Mitch is a very responsible sheriff, duty comes long before pleasure.”

  There was no way out. Mildred would beg until she gave in. Right now there were way too many other things to process to fight with Mildred on the subject. “All right, I’ll go with you.”

  Mildred let out another squeal of delight. “You and I will have so much fun together.”

  You may have the time of your life but I… She left that thought unfinished. God, you must have a real fun time trying to ruin my life. My sister, my parents, rotten schoolmates, kidnapped, and now this! Thanks a lot.

  “I better get back to the hotel to say goodbye to the girls.”

  “I’ll see you tonight at my house then?”

  Grace nodded not really knowing what she was committing herself to.

  “Grace, come early, and I will do your hair. I have the most darling idea for it.”

  “All right Milly.”

  “Oh tell the girls goodbye for me, will you? I would come with you, but I don’t want to see Crystal. She was always nasty to me. Besides, I have work I need to do here.” She glanced over her shoulder at Mr. Taylor.

  Once again Grace nodded. She felt numb. Mildred was clueless as to how she felt. That had been another reason Grace had befriended her. Milly had never known what she was feeling, she could be raging on the inside and smiling on the outside, and Milly would never know. At this moment she didn’t know what was worse. Mildred’s complete oblivion or Mitch’s almost all knowing.

  Both made her heart ache.

  Chapter 14

  Mitch sat in the hotel’s dining room close to the open window, hiding slightly behind the curtains as they played with the light breeze that whispered its way down Esperanza Springs main street. The stage coach pulled up, it was almost empty. Three girls stepped out onto the hotel’s sidewalk. Mitch was surprised to not see Grace. He thought she would have run to greet it if she could. In a moment he saw her sail down the staircase and through the doors to join the girls. I won’t say goodbye to her, or them. She doesn’t want to see me, and I don’t want to see them. But I will pray for you Grace, that someone will set you free from the pain you carry. The look of joy that had died in her eyes at seeing him was painful. He didn’t want to do that to her again. She was leaving, let her be happy—as happy as she pretended to be that is.

  “Grace where have you been?” asked Crystal sharply.

  “I was upstairs.”

  “Why aren’t you ready to go? You don’t look fit for travel.”

  “I have come to say goodbye. I won’t be going with you.”

  “Such a dreadful shame. We will miss you,” crooned Harriet.

  ~~~~~

  You think I don’t see through that? Well, I do. You really mean we WON’T miss you. I sure won’t spend any time crying over your leaving. But she smiled and said, “And I all of you.”

  “How long will you be staying in Esperanza Springs?” asked Harriett.

  “I don’t know. Not too long I hope, but there is no knowing.”

  “So you have set your cap for Mitch?” asked Crystal with a haughty toss of her curls.

  Grace turned pale and took a step back. “No. Not in a thousand years would I try to catch him, or any man.”

  “Oh la! Look who has airs now. Well just the same,” she said with a haughty tone.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Grace asked.

  Crystal sniffed, “Goodbye, darling.”

  The girls climbed into the stage coach and it rumbled away.

  ~~~~~

  Mitch watched Grace as it rumbled away. She followed it longingly with her eyes, taking a few steps after it. Grace is hungry to escape, why didn’t she go? She’s not afraid of her schoolmates, so why not endure a little more of them to get away from here?

  Grace murmured. “Au revoir, mon petit serpents.”

  Mitch couldn’t help but smile. Goodbye, my little snakes. A fitting farewell.

  Her face became contracted with emotion, and she walked back into the hotel. It was a forced march, one that threatened to break into a run the moment she was out of sight.

  Laying his payment on the table, Mitch followed her casually at a safe distance. As he came up the stairs, her door shut. For a few moments there was quiet, then the sob of a broken heart slipped through her door. Mitch stepped closer. There was a sound of feet running, then the bed creaked, and the next sob was muffled. Grace was crying into her pillows.

  Mitch stood there praying. There was nothing else he could do.

  In a few minutes, the sobs were forced under control by deep gasps as Grace held her breath. The room was silent. Mitch turned and walked back downstairs.

  Oh God, what is going on? What is grieving her? Help me know what I should do.

  .

  Chapter 15

  Grace awoke nearly an hour later. She pulled the letter out of her pocket.

  Dear Grace,

  Welcome to your new home Esperanza Springs, things have changed since our last letter. That letter was two months ago. My wanders’ foot has gotten to me again, so we are moving there. Wanderers’ foot my eye. They are still after you. Why can’t you just hunt them down! And be rid of them once for all? We hope to arrive shortly after you. In the meantime, if you would see if there are any available homes in the area, preferably furnished. Further word will be sent to the deputy in charge, feel free to inquire as to our arrival.

  Father

  Grace stared at the letter blankly, mixed feelings tumbling her heart over and over in her chest. Going to a party with Milly tonight might be a good way to forget. But I can never forget. I can never lose myself in something. Why? Why can’t I be like other silly girls!

  Tears started sliding down her cheek. She wiped them
away, glanced in the mirror, and looking away throwing an angry fist into her pillow.

  She had seen a pretty girl with sad eyes, wet cheeks, and loose hair wild about her face. A girl that she could not hide her feelings from, trapped in a world she did not want to live in.

  Splashing her face with water, then redoing her hair Grace stepped outside once again and, headed towards the land office. He would know if there was anything to be had. Grace hoped for something far, far out of town; but knew her father would want to be close to the sheriff’s office as possible.

  “Well, hello Miss, what can I do for you?” asked a cheerful round-faced man behind a desk.

  “I came to enquire about a house.”

  “Any house, in particular, Miss?”

  “If there is one available, is what I meant.” Grace cringed at her tripping nervous tongue.

  “Well, you are in luck. Currently, I have two homes that are empty.”

  “Would either happen to be furnished?”

  “The old Alstead home is very nicely furnished, while the Dodd’s cabin has a few nice sticks of furniture in it. What are you looking for?”

  “Which one is closer to town?”

  “That would be the Alstead’s. Who are you looking for?”

  “My father.”

  “Your father sent you?”

  “We are coming from two different places, and I arrived first; that is why I am enquiring.”

  “I see, and who is your father.”

  “Thomas Coates, he is…”

  “You are the new Sheriff’s daughter. I was on the committee of men who chose him. It is an honor to meet you.”

  “And I, you, Mr….” I wish you had never hired my father!

  “Slater. Mr. James Slater, but come I will show you the houses and you can take your pick. Give me just a minute to get Blaze hitched up to my rig.”

  In a few minutes, Grace found herself riding beside Mr. Slater, a man she wasn’t sure whether to like or hate as they rode down the friendly streets of Esperanza Springs. The Alstead’s house sat on the edge of the sprawling little town.

  The house was white with yellow shutters and small front and back porches. Grace stepped inside. There was a petite entryway leading directly into the parlor. Closing the door, she found a little living room. There was a small kitchen and dining room at the back of the house. Going up the stairs in the parlor Grace found places meant for bedrooms and storage. In the back was a small barn, chicken coop, and a garden.

  “I like this house,” said Grace returning from her exploration.

  “So do you want to see the Dodd’s cabin?”

  “How much further is it out of town?”

  “’Bout five miles.”

  “My father will want this house; he likes being as close as possible to town.”

  “Excellent. I will draw up the paperwork when we get back to town, and when your pa gets in we can finish it up.”

  “One question, though. How much will it cost?”

  He looked at the girl’s anxious face. “That isn’t for pretty girls to trouble their head about.”

  “I would like to know.”

  Reluctantly he named the price.

  Grace looked back at the house and then Mr. Slater and nodded. “I think they will both like it. Mother especially.”

  “Good. I’ll take you back into town and draw up the papers.”

  Three-quarters of an hour later Grace was reading over the paperwork that Mr. Slater had written up. When she put it down, Mr. Slater looked at her with curiosity.

  “You said you were fresh from finishing school?”

  Grace nodded, “Would it be possible for me to get into the house and get it ready for them?’

  “Well, the house isn’t yours yet, but I reckon that would be all right. Here is the key.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Slater.”

  “Have a good day, Miss.”

  “You too.”

  When Grace reached her hotel room, she opened her trunk. Pulling out a red ribbon, she tied it to the key and tucked it safely away. “Now what shall I wear tonight?”

  An hour before the party, Grace slipped down to Milly’s house.

  “Hello Grace,” Mrs. Cunningham greeted her at the door. “Mildred is waiting for you upstairs.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Cunningham.”

  The woman smiled kindly at her, and Grace went upstairs.

  “Mildred?”

  “In here!” came a slightly muffled and preoccupied voice.

  Grace entered to find Milly doing her hair, her mouth carefully holding hair pins. “I am so glad you are here. I was getting worried,” said the same funny sounding voice. In a minute she stood up before Grace.

  “How do I look?”

  “Beautiful, lovely, and charming.”

  “Exactly what I was hoping for, now your turn. You aren’t wearing that are you?” she said pointing at the yellow calico dress Betsey had given her.

  “Oh, no. I brought my dress. I didn’t want to risk a long walk with it on the dusty roads.”

  “I would have never thought of that. Now, let me see it.”

  “What do you think?” asked Grace unfolding the dress from the brown paper and twine, holding it up for inspection.

  “It’s perfect. Now get dressed and let me do your hair.”

  In an hour’s time, the two girls were walking down the street trying to keep their skirts out of the dust. When they arrived the house was already bustling with young people.

  Grace was surprised to find herself surrounded with friendly ‘hello’s,' and ‘happy to meet you’s’ that seemed truly genuine. Slowly Grace found herself openly enjoying the party as they started playing games and round robin story telling. After refreshment, they pulled the furniture to the side and began to dance. Grace was surprised to find herself pulled early into the middle of the floor by a young man. As the evening progressed she managed to pull herself away more often, she didn’t want to embed herself too deeply…there was no knowing how soon her father would want to move on again.

  ~~~~~

  Mitch arrived late and let himself into the parlor. He was surprised to catch a glimpse of Grace on the other side of the room leaning against the wall her hands tucked shyly behind her back. Her dress was barely yellow, a string of small white pearls lay at the base of her throat, and her blonde hair was done up in a style that became her. Simple but elegant seemed to be her entire theme.

  His heart yanked. Mitch wanted to go and ask her to dance. He found himself torn. She is building a wall between us. Grace wants it there firmly in place, so I can’t reach her. It has to go down but what should I do? Ask her for a dance? Or give her space to breathe? Mitch felt as if he should ignore her, it was what she wanted.

  When the dance was over, Mitch stepped into the room and was greeted by a chorus of happy welcomes. He caught a glimpse of Grace out of the corner of his eye. Her face was shocked, then her eyes sought the ground, rising blank of emotion.

  “I am so sorry I am late,” Mitch apologized.

  “We are just glad you are here.”

  Now there was no need for Grace to stand against the wall as there were an equal amount of partners. Grace took every possible measure to make sure he came nowhere near her, and he attempted nothing to bring them closer.

  ~~~~~

  As the hour grew later, the party began to dwindle. Finally, Mildred said it was time to leave. As they stepped outside a young man approached Mildred.

  “May I see you home?”

  “Would you?” answered Milly with guileless coy, then she turned to Grace. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “No, I don’t. I who should have thought this through more thoroughly. Your house is one way and the hotel another. I shouldn’t go somewhere without an escort at this time of night.”

  “True, we can ask my father to walk you home. But he has a deacons meeting early in the morning, and I would bet anything that he has already gone to bed. You don’t mi
nd staying the night with me do you?”

  Grace felt torn. She wanted to get away and have her own thoughts before bed. Milly could and would talk until dawn. Then if she was paying for a hotel room, shouldn’t she stay there?

  “I’ll take her home,” said a voice coming out of the door.

  Grace cringed, it was Mitch.

  “Thank you Mitch!” said Mildred, threading her arm through the one Zeke offered. The four stepped off the porch, up the little stone walkway to the road, and there parted ways.

  Grace’s fingers went meditatively to the string around her neck, she gave a small outcry and ran after Mildred. “I forgot to give you these,” as she removed the string of pearls from around her neck.

  “Oh, I forgot myself, I am afraid I shall lose them.”

  “Here,” offered Zeke “Let me help you put them on.”

  Grace turned away.

  Mitch stood in the road where she had left him. Waiting for her. The moon made him a silhouette in the darkness. Grace looked at him, the new leather hat, his broad shoulders, and the firm stance. A peculiar sensation fluttered inside her, and she looked at the ground. He can’t be handsome if I don’t look at him.

  Grace walked to where Mitch was standing; he turned to keep in step with her, an arm’s distance between them.

  In near silence, Grace sighed with relief. He wasn’t going to offer her his arm. It would be rude to turn it down but accepting it was the last thing on earth she wanted at that moment. As they walked in the silver light of the moon, Grace found herself remembering the last time they had been together in the moonlight. I can’t believe I cried on his shoulder. That was so incredibly embarrassing. Before she could stop herself, she shuddered at the thought, goosebumps rising on her skin.

  “Are you all right?” Mitch asked.