Daddy Christmas

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  The demand in her already building again, Gretchen fought back a shudder of need and sighed. “You didn’t.”

  He looked at her, searching for some explanation in her eyes. As always when backed into a corner, Gretchen resorted to being flip. She moved back and away from him, falling onto the pillows on the other side of the bed. Covering her eyes with her forearm, she drawled with a purely Texas wisdom that Matt Hale was sure to appreciate, “You know the old saying, Matt, a drought usually ends with a flood. And the longer the drought, the bigger the flood.”

  Matt grinned. “You’re telling me that was a fluke? That we made love like that because we’re both victims of abstinence—yours and mine,” he stressed softly, letting her know the drought hadn’t been at all one-sided.

  Gretchen tried not to feel too happy that it had been a long time since Matt had been with anyone, too.

  “Or because it’s Christmas and we don’t want to be alone?” he continued.

  Gretchen knew what a sentimental evening it had been and, in many ways, still was. She splayed her hands across his chest, still holding him at bay. “There’s no denying we were both missing our families tonight.”

  “And also no denying that we might not have ended up in bed together tonight if we hadn’t been snowbound—alone—here the past two days,” Matt said, trailing his hands down her back.

  But that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened, Gretchen thought. Because it had, and she was tingling all over from the aftereffects of his lovemaking.

  Still trying to make sense of the winter storm she found herself caught up in, Gretchen regarded him solemnly. “When combined, all three elements are a lot to deal with at once. And as long as we’re hunting for excuses, don’t forget to factor in the wreck. Trauma makes people do crazy things. And sliding off the road into that ditch was definitely traumatic for me.”

  Though being rescued by Matt was anything but upsetting. Just as being made love to by Matt was anything but upsetting.

  “But the lovemaking helped, didn’t it?” Matt said.

  Gretchen couldn’t lie. He knew that it had, even before she flushed and stirred restlessly against him.

  “It did for me, too,” Matt confessed, kissing her neck, then her chin, then her lips. “So come here,” he said.

  With a wicked grin, he dragged her into the warm solace of his arms, securing her against him and taking her mouth with a consuming kiss that set her aflame anew. He tangled one hand in her hair, while the other stroked down her body, until she sighed her surrender and relaxed against him.

  “And let’s try that again....”

  * * *

  GRETCHEN AWOKE to sunshine streaming brightly into the room. Glinting off the snow, the light was almost white. She snuggled into the warm, love-scented flannel sheets and quickly became aware of two things. It was Christmas morning. And the shower was running.

  Matt.

  She had...they had... Gretchen buried her face in the pillow. The lovemaking that had seemed like a brilliant idea Christmas Eve now seemed glaringly inappropriate in the light of Christmas Day. What had she been thinking? She didn’t have casual affairs with men. Before last night, she had never even entertained the notion. Yet she had slept with Matt. And they had made love, again and again and again.

  And now she was going to have to face him. She was going to have to tell him that although it had been nice, it was not going to happen again. Not in this lifetime. She had school to finish. She couldn’t afford to get sidetracked by a romance again, because if she did, she would never realize her dream of becoming a teacher.

  As for her hope of having a family, children of her own, time was running out there, too, she thought with a frown. Matt might have already been there and done that, but she hadn’t.

  She stood, then headed for one of the other bathrooms at the end of the hall. She took her time in the shower, rehearsing over and over what she was going to say to him.

  She had just finished drying her hair, when the sound of car doors sent her rushing to the window. The Stewarts, all fifteen of them, were piling out of an assortment of four-wheel-drive vehicles. Matt was walking out to greet them. As she looked down at him, Gretchen recalled their time together and was filled with warmth and tenderness.

  Even so, she knew she was going to have to tell him that what they had shared the evening before was only a one-shot deal. She wanted to start a family. Matt was through with that. Their encounter could be nothing more than one night.

  * * *

  “LOOK, if you won’t tell me who the father is, you at least have to tell him,” Marissa Stewart told Gretchen several weeks later, after she had finished the physical exam and run the tests.

  Gretchen shook her head as memories of that one fantastic night came flooding back to her. “I don’t think he wants to know, Marissa.” Although she had never had the chance or privacy to talk to Matt about the matter directly, in the twenty-four hours they’d had together before he left for Aspen to see his kids, she had let him know in dozens of ways—by the way she didn’t touch him or look at him or talk to him one on one again—that their lovemaking was not going to happen again. Ever the gentleman, he had taken his cues from her and not pushed. At least not too much. There had been those phone calls later—calls she had not returned. And his being pleasant to her, but not pushing her, was exactly what she wanted. Wasn’t it?

  “You can’t be sure of that,” Marissa continued. “I can’t think of any father who wouldn’t want to know.”

  Gretchen thought back to what Matt had told her. I’ve about had it with child rearing.... I’m looking forward to an empty nest. She sighed. Like it or not, those words had come straight from Matt’s heart. “Take my word on it, Marissa. He doesn’t want to know this.” Because Matt was inherently gallant, he would feel he had to do something if he knew. And Gretchen didn’t want to trap him or force him into parenthood again. It wouldn’t be right, for any of them, no matter what Matt said to smooth things over.

  “Now, now, I know the timing is bad,” Marissa soothed.

  Gretchen grimly let out a breath as she tugged a hand through her hair, shoving the length of it off her face. “That’s an understatement and a half.” Even so, she wanted this child. Wanted it more than anything in the world. Of course it hurt that her baby wasn’t going to have a father or the two-parent family she had dreamed about, but Gretchen also knew she could do it alone. She had enough love in her heart to rear a whole brood.

  “But Cal and I will help you,” Marissa went on practically. “I’ll waive my obstetric fees and I’ll get Cal to do the same with the pediatric.”

  Gretchen knew the husband-and-wife doctor team was among the best of the best in the Austin medical community, but her friend’s offer felt like charity. Her Irish-immigrant father and hardworking German-American mother had raised her to be independent. She didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, pregnant or not. “I can’t let you do that,” she said stubbornly.

  “Of course you can.” Marissa smiled and closed Gretchen’s file folder decisively. “We’ll call it professional courtesy for all those long years you worked in my office, running it like a well-oiled machine. I owe you, and you know it.”

  * * *

  MATT HALE parked in front of the apartment complex where Gretchen O’Malley lived. He didn’t know what was going on with her, or why she had done such an about-face on their love affair as soon as the Stewarts arrived at the Rocking S Ranch—could it be she was embarrassed by her relationship with him?—but now that his time with his kids was over, the latest crisis with his West Texas oil field averted and he was back in Austin again, he was going to find out.

  She answered the door promptly. In jeans and a casual V-necked light pink cotton sweater that brought out the blue in her eyes, she looked even prettier than he remembered her. Glowing, almost. Until she saw him, that was. Then her expression fell and her face paled to an alarming chalky white.

  “Matt.” She whispered his name
with remorse.

  Trying not to be discouraged by her reluctance to deal with him, he cradled the bouquet of flowers in his hands. “Hello, Gretchen.” Feeling a little foolish—it had been years since he’d come calling like a schoolkid, but that was how she made him feel—he thrust the flowers at her.

  Their fingers brushed, and where her cheeks had been pale, they now turned a bright, self-conscious pink. He watched as she lowered her long-lashed eyes and wet her soft pale pink lips.

  “Listen, I really...I, uh, I can’t talk now.”

  Practically crushing the flowers, she held them so tightly, she looked behind her nervously in a way that made him wonder if she was hiding something—or someone—in her apartment. Jealousy rose within him, and thing else he hadn’t felt in years and years. Had he been edged out by another man?

  “Then when?” Matt asked Gretchen patiently. He folded his arms and braced a shoulder against the doorframe. “You’ve been avoiding me for three weeks now, and don’t try to deny it. You haven’t returned any of my calls.”

  “There were only four of them.”

  Four, Matt thought, seemed like more than enough. Especially since he’d never had to chase a woman in his life. “I want to know why you’re ducking me, why you won’t even look me in the eye. Is it because of what happened between us?” He grasped her shoulders. Though he had been intent on keeping his own emotions under wrap, his voice dropped an anguished notch as he whispered, “Are you angry with me for making love to you that night—is that it?”

  “No, of course not.” Blushing all the hotter, Gretchen took his sleeve and drew him into the tiny efficiency apartment. She shut the door behind him. “I wanted what happened to happen as much as you did. We both know that.”

  “Then why won’t you return my calls?”

  Gretchen strode to the kitchen area at the far end of the room and got down a vase, adding water to it, before putting in the bouquet of flowers and baby’s breath he’d brought her.

  Returning to his side, she set the vase on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa, a sofa Matt was sure turned into a bed.

  “Because it’s not Christmas break anymore and I have to go back to class.”

  Matt sat down opposite her, leaving as much space as possible between them. As skittishly as she was behaving, he didn’t want to crowd her. “Is that the only reason?” he asked gently.

  Gretchen began to look a little panicked as she vaulted to her feet again and began to pace. She stopped next to a stack of textbooks on the folding table that served as a desk. She flipped through pages idly.

  “What other reason could there be?”

  “I don’t know.” Matt clasped his hands between his legs and stayed where he was only by supreme force of will. “That’s what I’m here to find out. We never had a chance to talk in Colorado once the Stewarts arrived.”

  Gretchen lifted a shoulder. “There was a lot of confusion.”

  And she had played it to full advantage, making sure she and he never had an instant alone. Matt had understood her desire to keep their feelings for each other private; their brand-new friendship had been at a very delicate stage. It was the way she continued to cut him off, long after they were both out from under the watchful eyes of Cal and Marissa Stewart that had him confused.

  “Are you angry because I had to leave the next day to go visit my kids?” he asked gently, aware that if that was the case it put a different spin on the situation.

  She stiffened and whirled to face him, upset he would think that even for an instant. “No, of course not.”

  “Then what happened to make you stop speaking to me entirely?” Matt stood and crossed to her side. Had he done something, said something? Had he not done something, not said something?

  She clamped her arms in front of her and pressed them against her waist. Her emotions under tight control, she tilted her head up at him stubbornly. “I just had a change of heart, okay?”

  Matt wished he could believe that was all it was, but his gut told him there was a lot more to it. She had given herself unreservedly. They’d had a connection that was more than just physical. And now she was acting as if she were seeing a ghost just looking at him. She was acting as if she were, deep down, very upset.

  She turned her face to the side and looked out the window at the parking lot below. “It was an emotional time for both of us, made worse—or maybe even brought on—by the holidays. We were both lonely and alone and feeling very sentimental.”

  Matt cupped her shoulders gently between his palms and recalled how soft and loving she had felt against him when he’d held her in his arms. “And we still never would have made love if we hadn’t been very attracted to each other,” Matt said.

  Tears glistened in her eyes but did not fall. She continued looking out the window. “It was the isolation of the ranch...cabin fever,” she insisted stubbornly.

  “It was chemistry, pure and simple, the kind that comes along once in every lifetime if you’re lucky.”

  “Even so, we were wrong to get involved so quickly.”

  “I’m willing to start over,” Matt said, dropping his hands and stepping back, “slowly this time.”

  Gretchen gaped at him. “You want to date me?”

  He grinned. “That was the general idea, yes.”

  “I can’t.”

  Maybe teasing her was the way to go. “Why not? When I talked to Marissa yesterday, she said you were fine.”

  Without warning, Matt had the feeling Gretchen was hanging on to her composure by a mere thread. The color drained from her face.

  “Is that all she said?” Gretchen asked.

  Which was another thing. Marissa had been unusually closemouthed. Downright tongue-tied, as a matter of fact. And that wasn’t like Marissa, who, Matt suddenly realized, had suddenly stopped trying to match him with Gretchen. After weeks of pushing him to pursue Gretchen, Marissa had said nothing at all yesterday on the subject. The question was, why hadn’t she? Obviously Gretchen knew.

  Matt replayed the brief but telling conversation in his head. “Marissa wanted to know why I was asking about you,” Matt replied cautiously.

  Gretchen blushed bright red. “What did you say?”

  “Nothing incriminating.”

  Gretchen looked relieved. Too relieved, for the circumstances, Matt thought.

  “But I think she guessed anyway,” Matt continued. “That I’m attracted to you.” Which was putting it lightly. He hadn’t felt this way about a woman since—hell, he’d never felt this way about a woman.

  Gretchen returned to the sofa and collapsed onto it. “Oh, no.”

  “Relax. She doesn’t know we made love,” Matt reassured her quickly as he sank down beside her.

  Gretchen stared at her shoes. “No, but she’s smart and she can sure put two and two together,” Gretchen said miserably.

  Matt’s glance narrowed. Since his conversation with Marissa had been by telephone, he hadn’t had the advantage of seeing her expression. He wondered what he would have seen if he had talked to Marissa face-to-face. “Did you say something to her about us?” he inquired.

  “No. Of course not.” Gretchen nervously pleated the fabric of her jeans with the tips of her fingers.

  “Then what else does she know that she can put together?” Matt asked, watching the smooth nimbleness of her fingers and recalling how those hands of hers had felt, feverishly caressing his skin.

  Gretchen’s chin set with customary stubbornness. “You’re asking too many questions,” she complained, deliberately averting her eyes.

  Matt cocked his head. “It seems to me I’m not asking enough.”

  “How about some coffee?” Gretchen looked agitatedly around her. “Or maybe we should just go out for coffee. Yes, that’s it.” She had already snatched up her purse. “We’ll go out.”

  Matt stared at her. Gretchen was not the kind of woman who got in a dither about much of anything, including being in a car wreck. Yet this afternoon,
seeing him again, she was practically a basket case.

  “I’d like that,” Matt said gently, deciding that whatever was going on, Gretchen needed him more now than she had when he had pulled her out of her car. “But let’s make it dinner.” Matt figured he was going to need some time with her to have even a chance at jump-starting his blossoming relationship with her again.

  “Fine.” Purse in hand, Gretchen headed for the adjacent bathroom. “I just need to freshen up.”

  “Mind if I use your phone while you do that? I’d like to check in with my office.”

  “Go right ahead.” Gretchen waved absentmindedly. “It’s in the kitchen.”

  She disappeared. Matt stood and went toward the phone. As he moved, his glance fell on the large pharmacy bottle. At the same instant Gretchen came barreling back out of the bathroom.

  Her face fell as she saw him looking at the prescription from their mutual friend, obstetrician Marissa Stewart. He rounded on her, fury and disbelief streaming through him. “Why are you taking prenatal vitamins?”

  “I, uh—” Words failed her. But the telltale blush in her cheeks was back.

  Looking around for further evidence, Matt picked up the book lying open on the counter. “And why are you reading up on pregnancy?”

  Gretchen swept her hands through her newly brushed hair, dislodging the barrette she had just put in it. “I don’t believe this,” she whispered to no one in particular.

  Matt recalled Gretchen saying that every drought ended with a flood after they made love. And suddenly, Matt knew why Gretchen had been so desperate not to see him. And why she especially hadn’t wanted her physician, Marissa Stewart, to know that he and Gretchen had been intimate. Because if Marissa had guessed Matt was the father, Marissa would have insisted Gretchen do the right thing. Namely, tell him. “The baby is mine, isn’t he?”

  Gretchen looked all the more miserable and didn’t answer.

  He stepped closer to her, the possessiveness he felt toward her and her unborn child growing by leaps and bounds.

  “Isn’t he, Gretchen?”