by Lisa Ladew
Someone was coming up behind her. Eventine turned and saw Ella and Trevor, holding hands. Ella’s face was worried. She waved to Eventine, then turned backwards and called for her cat, Smokey.
On the ladder, Timber sang, “Mmmbop, ba duba dop,” under his breath, still working on that same screw, still not looking at them on the ground.
Ella and Trevor stared up at him for a few moments before Ella turned worried eyes on Eventine. “Have you seen a black cat out here? We can’t find Smokey.”
Eventine shook her head, watching Trevor’s face carefully. He wasn’t looking at her. There’d been a tense introductory meeting the day before between her and all of the mated KSRT members and their mates, plus Troy and Wade. Canyon and Timber hadn’t been there and neither had Sebastian or Trent, and, of course, Jaggar had been missing. Eventine had refused to answer most of their questions or share any details of the events she knew were coming. She would share on her own timetable, and Harlan understood that, Wade too, but the others had a hard time with her style. Jaggar would have understood, but he was gone, and suspended from the KSRT. The only detail she had told them was that they, the males of the KSRT, had done one thing very wrong, and that was shelter their mates. Some of the males had been pretty upset, and Trevor had been one of them.
Ella smiled her thanks and the pair passed without Trevor saying a word. He nodded at her at the last minute. She nodded back. He’d get over it. They all would, they had no choice.
She caught her mate’s scent, wrapped up in the scent of his wolf. Nowl appeared from between two trees and came up close to her. He was on rounds, searching for a sign as to who had been in the forest.
He pressed against her side, no words spoken, and she rested her hand on his head. It wasn’t quite proper to “pet” a shifted wolfen, but mates could get away with a gentle touch behind the ears. One true mates got away with much more, apparently. She’d seen some scandalous things from the meadow. Belly rubs, even.
Nowl disappeared back into the forest. Eventine faced Timber again, ready to head around the tree he was up against, putting herself in his line of sight, but someone else was coming. She waited.
It was Rogue and Mac. Mac lifted his chin. “Eventine,” he said, then continued down the path, not even giving Timber a look. Mac hadn’t had an issue with what Eventine had said, he wasn’t one of the offenders. Rogue didn’t want him to shelter her, in fact would never allow it, and he didn’t seem to be called to the behavior the same way the others were.
Maybe because he knew the first foxen or demon to fuck with his mate would be filleted first and only questioned once he was bleeding out in the gutter.
Rogue stayed behind, something on her mind, apparently. She watched Timber for a moment, who had finally turned to a different screw. “When you get old and start losing your hair. Can you tell me who will still care,” he sang.
Rogue turned to Eventine. “No news reports have come in about the beast for sixteen hours.”
“Trent?”
“He says he lost the trail and it’s probable the beast doubled back. He’ll let us know when he picks it back up.”
“So, the beast is heading back,” Eventine mused. Bad news or good news? She didn’t know.
“You think he’s coming after Harlan?” Rogue asked. “Coming to finish the slice and dice job he started after Harlan kissed Leilani-well, you know the story, you were there.”
Timber coughed violently, still facing away from them both. The song changed to one Eventine didn’t recognize. She stared at him for a second, but Rogue took the moment to pull something out of her pocket and hold it out to Eventine.
Eventine took it carefully, sensing the gravity of the moment by Rogue’s demeanor, which had gone thick and quiet and watchful in the space of a second. The item was an inch-high, thick piece of blown glass on the end of a silver chain. Eventine held the glass up. A wolf’s face, fierce and snarling, was on the one side. She turned it over and found another wolf’s face, cunning and watchful, on the other.
“Dahlia designed it, and Heather made it. Ella and Willow came up with the idea.” Rogue said, her eyes shrewd, her face set. “They wanted me to give it to you.” She shrugged. I don’t know why, that shrug said to anyone watching, but her eyes said different.
Eventine knew exactly why. This was no mere imitation of the pendants all of the females should have been gifted with at birth. This was a symbol, and Rogue being the one to deliver it was an even bigger symbol. The one true mates were behind her, 100%, and they were ready to fight, if required. They would not create strife with their mates by openly challenging them, for now. But they would do what needed to be done, whether their mates approved or not.
Rogue moved across the path and leaned against a tree, kicking one of her boots up behind her to brace herself. The moment was over, or maybe she was over the moment. She crossed her arms and looked out at the forest. “You think there’s any chance it could be Khain out here?”
Eventine shook her head and didn’t answer for many moments. This question opened the door to Rogue asking her if Khain had infiltrated the forest in the past that no longer existed. Eventine hadn’t decided how much she would be telling about what had happened before. The knowing was a burden, one that she would bear if it meant the others could stay strong in the face of adversity, but she wasn’t certain that was the right choice either. She needed more information, needed to be in the present, in the Ula, for a bit longer before she decided. It might be a case of divulging information only when necessary, if they didn’t hate her for it.
She finally nodded. “I think we have to consider it as a possibility,” she said simply, “since the pumaii can no longer track him when he comes to the Ula.”
Rogue considered her words, nodded once sharply, then kicked off the tree, took four big steps, hooked the toe of her boot around Timber’s ladder and yanked. “TIMMMBERRRR!” she yelled and Eventine tried and failed not to laugh. Her laughter was turned to wonder when Timber didn’t fall in a heap, but rather, leapt clear of the falling ladder, flipped in the air, and landed neatly on his feet on the path next to her, his tools still on his belt, his dark wavy hair not even mussed.
He winked at Rogue, then kissed Eventine on the cheek. “Missed ya, babe,” he said, then headed off down the trail, without his ladder, leaving Rogue and Eventine to stare after him, their mouths open.
4 – Leilani in the Meadow
Leilani sat cross-legged at the trailhead of the Path of the Catamount, staring over the “edge” of Rhen’s meadow, watching Eventine and Harlan in the kitchen of Trevor and Ella’s house. She hadn’t checked her metaphorical clock since she’d arrived in the meadow, fully aware that just looking at it could trigger it, possibly sending her somewhere or somewhen she didn’t want to go.
Eventine and Harlan had gone to visit Leilani. To visit her body, rather. She wasn’t in it. She could see her body in the other room, her face wasted, her hair limp, her hands curling into fists. Ella was there. Cerise too, letting the pups play on the bed, while they both brushed Leilani’s hair, curling it over the pillow, and talked to her like she was listening. Leilani’s throat clogged with emotion. They were so nice to her, and she wasn’t even there. She’d learned their names by listening to them talk to each other. She studied their faces and their voices, wanting to know them. From a distance was better than not at all.
Leilani could barely look away from Eventine. She’d lived and she couldn’t stop touching her mate, and he wouldn’t stop touching her. Her body was young, but her face was hard and wise, like she knew much more than her apparent age suggested. The constant look of deliberation in her eyes told Leilani that Eventine’s mind never stopped strategizing about their situation. The only time the hard expression fell away was when Harlan pressed her up against something and whispered in her ear. Then her expression went soft and her being filled with love and passion and single-mindedness. Then Leilani looked away for a bit.
Time passe
d strangely in the meadow, and so she did not know how long she’d been there, but she thought maybe a day or two. She wasn’t trying too hard to keep track, though. In the meadow, her head didn’t hurt, her thoughts were clear, and she could see. She was staying.
Leilani wanted nothing to do with the drama that was playing out in what they called, “the Ula.” So why couldn’t she stop looking?
She missed Eventine. The meadow was different without her. It was quieter, and the colors had changed. Before they’d been pink and black only, but now a bit of purple and emerald green had crept in. The place looked a little more like an ordinary forest now that at least some of the plants were green.
Leilani plucked an emerald green four-leaf clover from the grass beside the path and stripped it with her fingers, barely noticing when a tiny cotton-candy-pink rabbit came to her and nibbled the clover right out of her hand.
Below her, deep in the drama she swore she wanted no part of, Eventine and Harlan left the main house and walked through the back of the farm, heading for a cabin. They were holding hands. Eventine’s face was sad, and so was Harlan’s, but his was a sad-happy that made Leilani’s heart hurt. She smiled at the sight of the couple, her chest aching. They went inside the cabin. Eventine sat in a chair in the living room and Harlan moved behind her to rub her neck. Eventine turned to him, looked up at him, and Leilani pulled her eyes away.
She stared at the trees and thought about what she was really looking for. If she were honest with herself, she had to admit what she really wanted was a sign of Jaggar. Her “mate”.
But he couldn’t be her mate. That was downright impossible, since she was terrified of him.
Her view of the farmhouse and the cozy collection of cabins behind it faded as she pulled back from it, like a camera zooming out from a close-up to a bird’s-eye view. All she saw was flat farmland surrounded by forest, with a city encroaching on one side. In the middle of the city was the police station. She sent her awareness there, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jaggar.
She didn’t want or need him, and she did not know why she wanted to see him.
Before she could look inside the police station for him, her senses prickled. She was no longer alone. A wild animal was behind her, stalking her on the path. Leilani scrambled to her feet and turned, ready to run, with nowhere to go.
It was the catamount.
Leilani tried to smile, tried to force a laugh, tried to still her rapidly beating heart, but, in the end, she only turned back around and sank down onto the path again. The catamount arrived beside her with no warning, her feet gliding completely silently over the forest path. She sat down next to Leilani.
The catamount was a big cat, one that could be called a cougar or a mountain lion, or even a puma or panther, but the catamount thought of herself only as a catamount and would not stand for anyone calling her other than that. Her fur seemed multicolored, dark in places, light in places, with dark lines down her forehead that always made her look like she was scowling.
Leilani held herself still and “listened” to the meadow while she stared at the catamount. When she’d been there before, the meadow had shared Eventine’s thoughts and beliefs with Leilani, but, now that she was in the meadow without Eventine, her experience was different. The scant “knowings” that the meadow gave her were all absolute truth. There was no arguing with them.
The first time she’d tumbled into the meadow with Eventine, the knowledge that Leilani was a half-angel, that her mother had slept with an angel and she was the result, had fallen into her head, but anything around her mate was hazy. Leilani now knew that was because Eventine hadn’t known for sure who her mate was.
Now that she was back without Eventine, she knew that Jaggar, who was a shifter who could turn into a wolf at will, was her intended mate for life. She could not deny the knowledge suffused into her whole being. In the meadow, there were no voices in her head calling her crazy, only a sure and sweet knowing of who she was that was delicious to her and that she had no reason to doubt. Jaggar was her mate, but should he be?
She also knew that the meadow itself was a kind of in-between place, the imagined home of the goddess of the shifters who could no longer live in her body. Their deae, the shifters called her, their goddess. She’d created them, put a piece of herself in them, and then told them to fight the demon, a war the catamount thought they could not possibly win, but not one of them knew that.
Open thoughts and beliefs of Rhen and the catamount came to her easily, thoughts they did not mind if she knew. Last time she’d been there, Rhen had even spoken to her, standing before her looking like a normal woman, even if she was too bright to look at for long. Looking at Rhen was almost like looking at the sun, and her voice was like surround sound turned up to full blast.
There were other beings in the meadow, but Leilani did not know how many or what they were. She knew to stay on this path or the open meadow itself. She would not be safe elsewhere.
Leilani fully expected the catamount to have something to say to her, and she listened for it, but heard nothing. She plucked another four-leaf clover and began to strip it of its leaves, waiting.
The cotton-candy-pink bunny, that had disappeared when Leilani had jumped up, came back, little bunny nose twitching constantly. Leilani smiled and held out her clover.
Quick as a flash, the catamount pounced on the rabbit, catching it in her mouth.
“Oh!” Leilani cried. “Please don’t hurt it!”
The catamount stared at Leilani over the wriggling rabbit caught in its jaws. No blood streamed from the rabbit’s back. Leilani dared to hope that the catamount was not biting into it, only holding it. She clasped her hands together and got up on her knees, looking up into the catamount’s eyes. “Please, it came to me. It shouldn’t die because of it.”
A voice came to her, around her, through her. It was a wild voice, full of power and challenge.
This is what predators do, Lele. I am a predator.
Leilani shivered at the nickname from the catamount. She’d felt affection toward the catamount the last time she’d been there, “knowing” from the meadow’s whispers that the catamount watched over her with the intention of keeping her safe. She had not known the affection had been returned, and now that it seemed like it was, she did not know how she felt about it. Did it mean she might possibly be allowed to stay?
“I’m sorry,” she said, holding her hands out near the rabbit, pleading with her eyes. “It was my fault, can’t you let the rabbit go?”
The voice came again, awing her.
Are you willing to trade for the rabbit?
“Yes, anything.”
The catamount smiled.
Prey would be smart to never trade with a predator.
Leilani nodded eagerly, thrusting her hands under the rabbit. Little squeaking noises came from its tiny mouth, noises she never knew a rabbit could make. That was her, too, all prey, no predator. All she could do was beg.
“Please, you’re right, I’m sorry. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
The catamount stared her down, catching her gaze, holding it, her expression conveying deep disappointment. Finally, she spoke, her voice cutting through the desperation in Leilani’s mind.
You are not prey, and you must not act like it, she said.
The catamount dropped the rabbit. It fell to the ground and ran off. Leilani stared at the catamount, still caught in the force of that gaze.
Would you have fought me for the rabbit? the catamount asked.
Leilani shook her head to the right once, to the left once, then landed in the middle. No. She would not fight.
The catamount snarled at her once. Leilani yelped and scrambled backwards, too close to the edge. She dropped to her hands and knees and crawled back quickly, but not as close to the catamount as she had first been.
The catamount grazed a fang with her sinuous tongue as she spoke with her mind. Then you go against your nature and will never be whole.
Leilani shook her head again, tears welling. She didn’t understand. She was not a fighter, never had been. She was a…a-. Leilani couldn’t think what she was. She wasn’t a fighter, she wasn’t a lover, either. She wasn’t an anything.
The catamount glared now, scaring Leilani again. She wanted to back away, but held her ground, barely. Please, she begged inside her mind. Please just let me not disappoint her. Leilani didn’t understand what was going on, but she tried. She tried hard, opening her heart and her mind to the wild animal in front of her, to the life that was unfolding whether she wanted it to or not. She was prey, she was, but she didn’t want to be. If anyone could help her be one, not the other, it was this regal, powerful forest cat in front of her.
The catamount shook her head once, sharply, then her voice rang throughout the meadow. The real nature of both your halves, human and angel, is predator, protector, dangerous thinker who acts, not reacts. It is time for you to behave like it.
Whoa. Leilani felt seriously overloaded with that statement and could not think about it. Especially since this felt like a going away speech to her.
“Does this mean I get to stay?” Leilani asked in a small voice, knowing it didn’t.
Does what mean you get to stay?
“You, teaching me that I’m a predator.”
The catamount seemed surprised at that and chuffed softly, almost like a laugh. Satisfaction poured off of her. She seemed to smile a feline smile that was mostly just showing sharp teeth, but only for a second.
No, I tell you that because you must go.
Leilani held her breath. Twisted her hands. Pushed herself to speak. “I want to stay,” she said simply.
Living things wither and die here. You cannot stay.
