by Lisa Ladew
She found what she was looking for. His cock. It was big, and terrifying and so hard she couldn’t stop touching it. That was going to fit inside her? She squeezed it hard, feeling for give. It had none.
Jaggar groaned and thrust his hips forward. “Lele, you’re killing me.”
She wished she could see it. She fluttered her fingers over it again, tracing the head, the ridge that divided head from shaft, then going lower, all the way to his balls. He shifted his hips around and raised one leg, a deep noise of assent rumbling through him. She brought both hands around him and squeezed again. Jaggar trembled, his hips thrusting farther toward her. She moved her hands up and down, just lightly, from the base of his thickness to the head. He growled, then groaned again. She smiled. She did it again. She did it again, and then, unable to help herself, she shimmied down his body, before she lost the nerve, and kissed the tip of his cock, even daring to poke her tongue out and lick it once.
She thought her mate was going to lose his mind. He growled and said her name, then his big hands touched her head gently, brushing at her hair. “I can’t take it,” he said. “I can’t take that. I’m going to explode if you do that again.”
“That’s what we want, right?”
He laughed, just a little chuff. “Yes, but not so soon. You had a request.”
She didn’t want to let him go, though. She moved her hands up and down on his hard cock. “Like this?” she asked, her voice small but bold. “Do you like it like this?” She wanted to know everything he liked. She wanted him to coach her on anything that felt good to him.
He covered her small hands with his large ones, making her swoon, matching her movements. “Just like that, it feels amazing.” Her mate was so fucking sexy she wanted to devour him whole, but he would not let her. He pulled at her hands until she let go. He maneuvered her how he wanted her, on her back, nudging her legs open. “You wanted me to make love to you,” he whispered in her ear as he covered her body with his. She smiled to the ceiling and ran her hands over his shoulders, then down his big arms. The muscles were deliciously tense and bulging with the weight of holding his body up.
Yes, please, she told him. She was so open, so relaxed, so full of anticipation, that every slide and glide of her hips was a delicious torture, creating the slightest rub of her own flesh upon flesh, her swollen, swollen labia, her clitoris that ached to be touched. He was going to do it. He was going to enter her. He kissed at her neck and murmured sweet words to her, and her body swelled and trembled and she levered her feet so she could lift up to him, wanting him inside her.
He groaned. He growled. He entered her, slowly, but he was so big and it was so intense she cried out anyway. It hurt, but not bad, and the pleasure that came with it made her grit her teeth against the pain and squirm under him, urging him deeper.
***
Jaggar used every bit of control he had over himself to keep still, to barely move, to only give his mate what she could handle. She felt so exquisitely good around his cock, like nothing a life of no-women had ever prepared him for. She trusted him. She wanted to be there with him. She took pleasure from his body and gave him pleasure with hers. He wanted to stay inside her forever.
She made a noise, a soft noise that was almost a cry, and then she bucked her hips forward and made a high keening noise in the back of her throat. She grabbed at the sheets, her sheath clutching at him, her sweet frosting scent flaring through the room, her eyes closed as tightly as possible.
She was coming around him and he’d barely gotten started. What a gift this woman was. How many times could he make that happen?
“Lele,” he growled in her ear.
She cried out again, and bucked her hips, driving him deeper into her. He groaned at the sensation and clutched at her, letting her tell him what she wanted with her hands on him, pulling at him, and the way she rolled her hips under him.
“Lele,” he whispered, this time urgently, but it was too late. He was going to come. He pulled out of her, spurting onto her belly.
Her eyes opened. Silver. She blinked vacantly, and he knew she could not see a thing.
But he did not miss the look on her face. It was one of relief.
***
Leilani lay sated on the bed, completely relaxed from the best orgasm she’d ever had in her life. She hadn’t had many, privacy and normalcy having been in short supply for the last decade of her life, but she knew that one had been a whopper.
Eyes closed, she touched the dampness on her belly. Jaggar had cleaned her up, but the sheen of him was still there. “Did you do that for me?” she said in a small voice. “Did you pull out because you thought I wanted you to?” She hadn’t thought about that part of it, she’d only plunged in to the sensation and the feeling of rightness between her and her mate.
He didn’t speak for a few moments. He lay down heavily beside her and caressed the soft skin around her middle. She found the blanket and pulled it up over them, resting her hands on his chest.
“I’m a-”
Leilani put her hand on his mouth, fluttering her fingers that way quickly. She didn’t want to hear the word ‘beast’. She loved Jaggar’s animal and it was hard to see her mate feel differently.
“Are you worried our babies will be… like you?” she said, her eyes still closed. It was easier to ignore the silver light when her eyes were closed.
He didn’t speak for a few minutes, and when he did, his voice was strangled. “Aren’t you?”
Leilani didn’t know. She shook her head. “I-”
Her throat clogged, but she fought to keep talking, keep communicating. “I don’t know your wolf’s name,” she said, changing the subject, holding a hand to her head.
Jaggar moved like he was shaking his head, but he seemed to relax a bit. “I know Harlan and Evie know their wolves’ names, but most of us don’t.”
“You know Tabias,” she said.
“I do.” He didn’t speak for a moment. “Because of you.”
She moved her hand to her mate’s shoulder, then down his arm, realizing just how little of his real life she knew. Would she fit in with his friends? With the other mates? Would they like her? What would daily life be like?
Jaggar caressed her neck, lightly, and the bed shifted under them. He was leaning back on the pillow. She scooched herself close to him and laid her head on his chest, running her hand in lazy circles on his stomach, while he did the same on her back.
Someone knocked on the door. “Stay here,” Jaggar told her. He popped out of bed naked and crossed the room quickly. She heard the door open.
“There’s no one here,” he said. “Just a box.” He closed the door. She heard it lock. She sat up in the bed. “What’s in it?”
He snorted a laugh. “All my books and my alarm clock and my memorabilia from my room and a note.” He snapped the paper and read it. “Aww, look at Jaggar, all growed up. Full stop. We’re turning your room into a sex dungeon. Your bed and your clothes will be on the porch. P.S. If Wade asks, you turned us on to a possible cock-fighting ring run out of the back of the Salvation Army.”
Leilani laughed. “I like them.”
“Let’s check in again on that subject in a month or two,” Jaggar said. “They get annoying pretty quickly.”
He dropped something on a table, then said, “There’s a bag in here for you, too. Some books, a painting, and there’s a note, too.” He put it in her hand.
She pushed it back at him. “Read it for me?”
I found these on the porch. I’ll read them to you anytime, or get you the audio books. Eventine. P.S. Canyon and Timber will move Jaggar’s bed into the spare room tonight.
Leilani wasn’t sure how to feel, how exactly to deal with everything she had lost. Silver flared in her mind, her own thoughts pressing down on her suddenly. But Jaggar was there. He slid into the bed next to her. “Hey, talk to me.”
She didn’t, though. She just cried, while he held her. And when the tears dried up, when she
was more blank than sad, she still felt better, even though she hadn’t said a word.
Her mate stroked her. Little by little she gave herself over to him. Her grief faded to a slow hum, and then he was inside her again, and this time it lasted for hours, for days maybe, as he rocked and rocked her to orgasm again and again.
He did not come inside her once.
40 – There’s Just One Last Thing…
They’d slept for hours.
And still, all Jaggar could think of was taking his mate again. He nuzzled her neck, then stroked one pretty nipple with his thumb. She groaned in her early drowsiness and arched into him. “Mmmm, yes,” she said.
He growled his approval of her response and moved in closer to her, manhandling her hips until her body was up against his. He grabbed her thigh and pulled that leg up, draping it over him. Leilani’s eyes opened and the silver light spilled out over him. She smiled at him. “Jaggar,” she said.
Then she twisted in his arms, pressing her backside against him. He held tight for a moment. Her hair was covering her neck, so he was ok. She wiggled. He wasn’t ok. He slipped inside her wet heat from behind and she made a noise that split his heart in two. “Yes, Jaggar,” she said. “I-it feels so good.”
“I love you,” he said, the words spilling out of him. He loved her with everything he was, and he had since he’d first seen her. The fact that she let him touch her, that she enjoyed him and accepted him and whispered to him at night, and let him hold her and comfort her… he could not help but spill words of love from his lips. He had no pain in that moment, no sensation of splitting or ripping, only the absolute bliss of being inside his mate.
“Oh,” she said, taking a deep breath. She reached behind her and grabbed at his leg, trying to pull him closer to her. He complied, burying himself deeper inside at the same time. Her touch was soft, not quite as confident as it had been. But then her hand curled into a fist one time, and she reached up to her head, leaning forward, brushing her beautiful dark hair over her shoulder. Baring her neck to him.
His fangs grew in his mouth and he leaned in before he knew what he was doing but then he slammed his mouth shut and gathered himself. Off-fucking-limits. He pulled out of her, flipping her over and bending over her, caressing her body with his fingers until his teeth were normal again. Only then did he nudge her legs apart with his knee. He sank back into her body, thrusting deep, but gentle, so gentle. Don’t hurt her, don’t hurt her. Her little cries told him what she liked the most and he did that until the way she trembled on the bed and grabbed at him and cried out, “yes, oh my goodness, yes,” told him that she was coming and only after she’d done that twice did he let him think about himself.
***
Jaggar opened his eyes. Had they napped? Maybe. He already wanted to take his mate again, but Evie was in his head.
Burton wants to make a special dinner. Any chance you two want to come down? No pressure.
No, was on Jaggar’s mind, but Leilani sat up in bed, a smile on her face. That would be wonderful, she said in ruhi, already a master at it.
He growled into her neck. “You’re ready to see people?”
“Totally,” she said, nodding. “I can’t wait to talk to Eventine, and get to know Harlan and Burton.”
Jaggar nodded at his mate. He would never try to deny her any simple pleasure. “Eventine washed your clothes.” He handed her the clean outfit and pulled on the uniform he’d been wearing.
She got dressed quickly, then touched her hair. “How do I look?” she said.
“Like you went to bed with wet hair and then had sex for twenty-four hours straight.”
“Oh no!” she said, her hand over her mouth. She pulled at her hair, her eyes that strange but beautiful silver he was used to.
He held her shoulders and sat her on the bed. “Wait here.” He found a brush in the bathroom and returned to her.
“What do I do?” he said.
“Oh, I can do it.” She held her hand out. “Give me the brush.”
He held tight to it. “I want to brush your hair, Leilani, if you’ll let me.”
“Ok,” she said softly, and then she showed him how to brush it. She held still while he followed her instructions exactly.
“There,” he finally said, when her hair fell long and straight down her back. “You look beautiful.”
She smiled at him. He took her hand and helped her down the stairs into the kitchen.
But when he saw Harlan and Burton, the beast surged inside him and he snarled, a sick chainsaw-cutting-through-metal sound. He couldn’t help himself. Mine! surged inside him, animal, instinctual, unstoppable.
Harlan shot to his feet, grabbing for Burton. “Oh shit!” he shouted.
Jaggar held on to his human form with his entire grip. He could not shift, could not let the beast out. Take me to church, he chanted, keeping control, barely, his fangs and his claws growing no matter what he did.
“Burton, we have to go check the back forty, roll some pigs, something,” Harlan said, practically hauling the male out the door. As soon as the door to the mudroom closed and they were out of his sight, Jaggar was able to relax slightly. His awareness of the room, outside of those two males that could not be around his unclaimed mate, came back into being. Leilani was next to him, holding tight to him, her trembling and whispering to him. “No Jaggar, no.”
He shook his head, raising a hand to his temple. “I’m ok. I’m sorry.”
Eventine was across the room, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, shaking her head slowly right to left. “Jaggar, what are you doing? Are you out of your mind?”
He shook his head. “Let it go, Evie, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
Her voice filled his head. I can imagine, believe me. You have to get over it.
“Let’s go back upstairs,” Leilani said. He couldn’t protest. He wasn’t ready yet. He’d get ready. He hadn’t realized the impulse would be so strong, so all-encompassing. He hadn’t realized he would not even recognize Harlan and Burton as anything but enemies, the same as he had Mac. But now that he knew, he could figure out how to handle it. That’s what he did, he thought his way around problems. He hadn’t been ready, that was all.
Leilani pulled him back upstairs. She held onto him while she closed and locked the door. He didn’t dare speak, didn’t dare think, until he knew what she was feeling. When she took him right to the bed, he knew she understood him perfectly.
Smart, he thought. The bed was where they’d had the most success so far. If they could find understanding there, it could spread outward toward all these spots that didn’t fill in so easily.
She faced him and undressed slowly, her sightless eyes on him anyway. He went instantly hard, his eyes on her body, his imagination already inside her. She pulled at his shirt. He undressed quickly. She fluttered her hands down his body and when her hands landed on his cock she smiled. She sat down, then spoke up to him. “I’ve been wanting to do this.” She leaned forward and took his cock in her mouth. He moaned, his hips thrusting forward. Had anything ever been so right in his life?
His mate took him in her mouth until he couldn’t take it anymore and he pressed her over the bed, entering her with her name on his lips.
***
Jaggar watched his mate sleep. He ran over their last few days together in his mind, thinking of how he could do for her what she was doing for him. How could he make her whole life up to her?
He thought as his mate slept, generating a list of possible ideas, but swiftly realizing he would need help. He spoke to Evie and Harlan in ruhi. Sorry about earlier. I need something, if you’ll help me. Actually, I need a lot of somethings.
Eventine’s answer came back so quickly he almost imagined they were children again, finishing each other’s sentences in their minds. Anything, Jaggar, just tell me you claimed her.
That was one thing he could not tell her.
41 – This Dressing Room is Fancy, so It’s OK
&
nbsp; “Is it morning?” Leilani asked her mate. He was already up and moving around the room. That was one thing she thought would be the hardest for her to get used to. Not knowing if it was day or night by the way it looked.
“It’s mid-day. I’m taking you out.”
She smiled. “Where are we going?”
“I’m buying you a new wardrobe, and then I’m taking you on a date.”
“A date,” she said, intrigued, but also… nervous? “What kind of a date?” And what about her eyes? She wanted to ask but didn’t. She held on tight to the pillow under her head, wondering when she would get used to that feeling of being snuck up on by her own inability to see. It was unnerving.
“Come here, sweetness,” he said, patting the side of the bed. She scooted over. He pressed a stack of clothes into her hand. “Put these on, then I’ll brush your hair if you’ll let me.” His tone was as soft as she’d ever heard it.
When she was dressed, he put something else in her hand. “Sunglasses,” he whispered. “You better put them on now. You’re going to have to wear them anytime we leave the house.” His voice was so quiet, she could barely hear him.
She took the glasses quietly, turning them over in her hands. They weren’t ordinary sunglasses. They were the wraparound kind, the ones worn by the blind. She slipped them on, trying not to let her most silver thoughts spin out of control.
Jaggar was quiet, also, too quiet. He took her hand and took her to a chair. He brushed her hair silently, then he pulled her out of the chair without saying a word. Down the steps they went. Out the back door. She had the sunglasses on, and so no one would know that she was… different. They would only know she was blind.
Jaggar helped her into the truck, through the driver’s side door, so she never had to let go of him. He started the keys with his wrong hand, letting her cling to him.
“Music?” he asked, his voice gentle.
“No, thank you,” she said. She wanted to think.
