For over a week now, I’ve felt nothing but numbness, with waves of anger and emptiness that hit me when I’m reminded of her.
My mind is filled with the memories of how Tessa’s soft skin felt beneath my hands, the way her body moved when she danced just for me, and the sound of her soft moans and sighs that turned to wailing cries as I filled her with my aching cock that only wants her.
The memory of her sexy smile that tightens my chest, her flowery scent that drives me wild, her sexy voice that makes me hard as steel in seconds, and the way she’d soften and submit to me when I needed her to, all have driven me to the brink of insanity every second of every day since I told her I’m the reason her brother is dead.
When we got back from my mother’s, she locked herself in my spare bedroom and has only come out when I’m not there. I have Tito in my place watching her, making sure she doesn’t try to escape, but I have to find a way to make her not want to run anywhere but towards me.
It’s taken everything in me to give her any space at all, but I know she needs it to come to terms with the truth on her own.
The only way I’ve been able to stay away is to work all day until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, and then I drag myself up to bed to pass out for a few hours until the sun wakes me up again. I’ve taken on the work I usually delegate to three other people to keep me busy. Just knowing she’s tucked away, safe and unable to run, is the only consolation I have.
I need her.
Tessa is my fucking queen.
She’s deep in me. She shined her light into the darkest corners of my soul and gave me hope that I could have something so pure and beautiful all to myself. She lets me give her all of me. She takes my darkness and keeps it as her own, claiming the parts of me that no one’s ever wanted before.
She’s my perfect little rose, blooming only for me.
I need her to forgive me, and I’m not above keeping her locked away until she does. It would be simpler if she just came to the conclusion that she needs me as well herself, but even if she hates me the rest of her life, at least she’d hate me from the room next door.
Sipping on a fresh glass of whiskey, I look around the room at some of the wealthiest men in the country playing poker. Tonight’s game is hosted by some billionaire CEO whose name I can’t even remember. I only care about the millions I’m getting from these games.
More money is exchanged in a single night here than the whole casino sees in a week. And that’s saying a lot considering The Aces is the most successful casino in town.
With these games, there’s no questions as to where the money comes from, there’s no recording the winnings for taxes, and there’s no limits.
This is what the Triads are trying to establish for themselves in my city. But that’s never going to fucking happen.
Vinny is sitting next to me at the bar, and when he opens his mouth, I already know it’s going to be about Tessa. He spent two hours in the car with her, and now he thinks he has a right to weigh in on her well-being. “You need to either let her go or beg for her forgiveness.”
“I don’t beg. Ever,” I tell him, despite contemplating begging her every day since I’ve gone without her.
He barks out a harsh laugh. “I know. Does that mean we’re hitting Darkhorse later?”
Darkhorse is the strip club our family owns, and before Tessa, I would go there whenever I needed a warm and willing woman for a few hours, knowing they’d leave when I was done with them and not try and turn it into something more.
But now? The thought of being inside of anyone but Tessa isn’t appealing.
“No. You can go, though.”
“I think I will,” he says. “I’ve been thinking about having Chelsea’s tits in my face all day.”
“Jesus, Vinny.” I shake my head. “You know she has her tits in everyone’s face.”
“I know. Don’t ruin it for me. And since when does that ever bother or stop you? If I remember correctly, her tits were in your face at one point.”
“You have that memory wrong.”
“I don’t. But I’ll let you think that since you’re in a mood.”
“Vinny,” I warn, my eyes darting to his. “Not here.”
“You can’t keep her locked away in your penthouse. You’ll only make her hate you more and she’ll find a way out of there. Then she’ll have a line of men waiting to sweep her off her feet and lick her wounds. Literally and figuratively.”
My blood boils and I turn to face him fully. “Shut the fuck up, Vin,” I grind out low, not wanting to draw any attention to us.
Standing, I snuff out the stub of my cigar and button my suit jacket. “I’m done here. You stay longer to make sure this shit goes smoothly. I’m going to go check in with all the pit bosses.” Maybe there will be a card counter I can get my hands on. They’re itching to inflict a little pain onto someone else.
As I walk past the men in the room, I know they know I’m there, but they don’t dare look me in the eyes, too afraid of what they’ll see.
Leaving the backroom through the hidden entrance, I take the short hallway that leads to another hidden door panel that takes me out to a hallway around the corner from the main casino floor.
My uncle was big on discretion and creating rooms within rooms. Everyone who plays in these exclusive games has to be escorted in and out by a member of my security team as no one but myself and my men have access to the hidden doors.
There are cameras everywhere in my casino except inside these backrooms, and each one is equipped with signal jammers so no electronic or recording devices, as well as phones, will work. I’m just as cautious as my uncle Sal, if not more so.
Pulling out my phone now that I’m clear, I see five messages from Leo, and so instead of burning my anger off on some asshole trying to cheat me, I head to the basement to call him.
“The Triads have agreed to our meeting spot for Friday,” he says right away.
“What changed their minds?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t spend the time questioning it. I’ll have the men set up and in place on Thursday.”
“I’ll leave Friday morning and get to you by noon.”
“How are things with–”
“Don’t fucking go there, Leo,” I say harshly.
Stefano and Vinny already knew, but after our dinner at my mother’s, everyone else got the memo that our family was responsible for her brother’s death, and more importantly, I was. After seeing me with her and seeing how fucking perfect she is for themselves, they’ve all offered their help in any way I need it to make it right.
“Just be ready for Friday,” is all he says, and I hang up.
Chapter 29
Tessa
I went back to rehearsal on Wednesday, and started teaching classes again yesterday. It felt good to use my muscles again. For those few precious hours, I was able to use my pain and turn it into something beautiful.
Every night when I’ve laid in bed, I was left feeling alone and empty, thinking of nothing but having my body tangled up with Alec’s. Then I would wake up after a fitful few hours of sleep and I would hate myself for feeling so weak.
I’ve never been so attached to someone before. Alec was the first man I let inside of me – the first man I wanted to let inside of me. He filled me so completely, physically and emotionally, that without him, I feel empty. Like a piece of me is missing.
But right now, tonight, I’m going to try and heal myself and take back a little of the control I’ve lost. I can’t keep going the way I have been.
I have to find a way to survive.
I have to find a way to replace the empty with something else. And tonight, that’s me dancing.
I look at myself in the mirror and dab my finger in the pot of silver glitter to add to my eyelids.
I want Alec to be at his table tonight. I want to see him. I want him to see me. For all this time that I’ve been avoiding him, the stage offers me the perfect distance to see hi
m and know he’ll stay there.
“Line up ladies!” Dan yells to us as we all put the finishing touches of our makeup on and make sure our heels are tied well.
When the stage lights hit my skin and I hear the start of our opening song, I plaster a smile on my face, determined to be in the moment. But when my position on stage brings me closer to where Alec’s table is, I wait for the lights to dim on us girls on the outskirts and brighten on the three in the middle so I can see into the audience, and my stomach drops.
I can’t believe he’s not here. For almost two weeks, I’ve been held hostage in his home with a babysitter, and he hasn’t even tried to come to me.
I want him to try and convince me to stay, not force me. I want him to give me a reason to listen to the voice inside of me that says I can’t live without him. But his silence is speaking volumes.
Gritting my teeth, I lock my fake smile into place and finish out the routine.
When the show is over, I breathe a sigh of relief that I was even able to get through it, especially my solo. That song…that dance…it’s Alec’s. It took everything I had to push past the constant urge to break down and fall to a heap in the middle of the stage.
I sit at my station and stare at the hollow eyes looking back at me in the mirror, petting the soft petals of the black roses that were left for me. He’s not here, but he still had flowers left for me. I don’t understand him.
Lost in my head, I don’t notice that Jess is beside me until she places her hand on my shoulder and I flinch, caught off guard. “You should come out with us tonight,” she says.
“Yeah, you should,” Kayla says beside her with a smile. “You never come out with us, so I think you’re due. Plus, I think you could use the fun.”
I don’t ever go out with them because they’ve never asked me to…
“And the distraction,” Jess adds. “Drinks, dancing, men…what else do you need to have fun?” She laughs.
My mind immediately goes to Alec, thinking about how he would react if he knew I was going to go out with these girls to have men all over me, vying to buy me a drink. But he’s not here to try and stop me, and I don’t really feel like going back up to that big, empty castle in the sky again so soon.
So, while I’ve never contemplated going clubbing, the idea holds some value now, and has me saying without thought, “I don’t have anything to wear.”
They both give me wide smiles. “We’ve got you covered, don’t worry.”
Jess runs off and comes back holding a little black dress that I know will be skin tight, low-cut, and short. “I always carry a second option,” she says with a wink. “And are you a 7 shoe?” She holds up a pair of strappy black heels.
“I am, thanks.” Taking the dress and heels from her, I get to work on taking my show makeup off and reapplying it with a more subtle look. We all wear our hair in big curls for the show, so all I have to do is quickly go back over it with a curling wand.
Swiping my lips with a deep red lipstick, I blot them on a tissue and stare at myself in the mirror, willing myself to be okay and push down the doubts of what I’m about to do, knowing I’m doing it for the outcome. Alec will have to talk to me. When he finds out I’ve escaped his new guard dog, he’ll use every resource he has to find me. And when he does, he’ll be mad and yell, but he’ll still have to face me. I’ll finally get to see his eyes after going so long without them.
I know it’s petty and weak of me, but I’m desperate.
“Ready?” Jess asks eagerly. “You look hot, girl!”
“Thanks. You guys look good, too.”
“I need a drink and a hot man tonight!” Kayla announces, making Jess roll her eyes.
“You say that every time we go out.”
“Well, it’s true every time, bitch.” She smirks, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
Standing, I hide my bag under my station and put my phone and small wallet in the clutch purse Jess is also loaning me, and we start to make our way over to the door that will lead us out into the main casino area and not the back hall where Tito is waiting for me.
I know he’ll know something is up if I’m not out there within forty-five minutes of the show ending, so I have about a fifteen-minute window left before that happens.
Walking through the casino, my eyes sweep around to make sure no one recognizes me before I have a chance to even escape and put my plan into motion.
Slot machines ring and people cheer, chips clink together as bets are placed, cards slap together as they’re shuffled and delt, dice hit and tumble on felt, roulette wheels spin, and cigarette and cigar smoke puffs from the mouths of those who are either anxious because they’re losing, or feeling confident in their skills to win.
The club in The Aces, Royals, has a long line for entrance, but Jess and Kayla walk straight to the front.
“We don’t wait in line,” Jess tells me. “The bouncer knows us. He loves our show.” She winks.
“Oh.” I didn’t even realize we might be recognized.
“Hey, Santiago,” Jess coos, placing her hand on the bouncer’s arm.
“Hi, gorgeous.” His gruff voice sounds like he swallowed a handful of stones after he smoked a pack of cigarettes. “Who’s your friend?” He raises his chin to me.
“This is Tessa. She’s in the show, too. Joined us about two months or so ago.”
His eyes scan my body from head to toe, and they feel like clammy hands groping me. “I guess I’ll have to catch another one soon, then,” he says, and I force myself not to make a face that shows my disgust.
Unhooking the velvet rope, Santiago lets us through, and I feel his eyes on my ass as I walk.
The deep bass of music starts to pump through me with each step closer, and when we push past a heavy velvet curtain, the music hits me hard, and my eyes widen at the scene before me.
We’re standing at the top of a staircase, looking down at a dancefloor packed with people – their bodies writhing and swaying with drunken abandon. I almost envy them. They’re all just trying to escape for a night and get lost in someone who won’t even remember their name in a few hours.
The DJ’s booth is up on a platform and multicolored lights flash all around from every direction, making it impossible to get a good look at any one spot before your eyes are drawn someplace else.
Jess and Kayla descend the stairs like royals entering a ball while I trail behind them with a little less grandeur, concentrating more on not twisting an ankle in these heels.
Squeezing our way through the tightly packed bodies on the dancefloor, we make our way over to the bar, with the groups of men surrounding it parting for us with ease, all asking if they can buy us our first round.
Jess and Kayla smile and keep saying, “Maybe next time.”
“Watch your drinks, Tessa,” Jess says to me. “You never know what these guys might put in them.”
I nod, and she orders for us, handing me a drink that I quickly take a sip of, needing it to calm my nerves. I feel vastly out of my element here.
“Come on, let’s dance!” Kayla yells excitedly, dragging me out into the middle of the sea of people.
Sucking down my drink, I let my body sway to the beat, feeling more comfortable by the second.
By now, Tito has to have realized I’m not in the theater anymore, and probably sounded the alarms. Good.
“Here you go!” Jess yells, handing me another drink. “I think you’re one more away from forgetting that man.”
“I think so!” I yell back, hoping she’s right. “Wait! How did you know?”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, well, it’s obvious!” she yells, laughing. “I know the look of man troubles a mile away! Plus, we all saw what happened at that party we worked!” she adds, and I flinch. Oh, right. Of course. “Just dance, Tessa! Have a little fun!”
Taking a long sip from my new drink, I laugh at Kayla a few feet from me as she circles a very good-looking man like he’s her prey. Men have tried to dance with me, b
ut I’ve skirted out of their grasp every time with sly twists of my hips and torso, content to just dance on my own.
A few songs later, I really start to feel the alcohol take effect, and my head spins with the flashing lights and pounding bass of the music.
Jess takes my arm. “Hey, you don’t look so good. Let’s go to the bathroom.”
“Yeah,” I croak out, trying to get the room to stop spinning.
Stumbling through the crowd, Jess wraps her arm around me while Kayla holds my upper arm to steady me as my legs have started to feel a little weird. I blink rapidly, trying to get my eyes to see clearer, but the room remains blurry.
“How far is the bathroom?” I ask, the words feeling heavy on my tongue. I’ve never been this drunk before.
“We’re close. Don’t worry,” Jess assures me.
Looking up, I see an exit sign right before we walk through a doorway, but my brain is too fuzzy to understand what’s happening.
“Come on, Tessa, a little farther,” Kayla adds.
My legs start to give out on me as we walk down what seems to be too bright of a hallway to be leading me to the bathroom.
Where are we going?
Warm air hits my face suddenly. Are we outside?
My eyes start to droop, and I feel another set of hands grab my arms. Larger, rougher hands, that don’t belong to Jess or Kayla.
I peel my eyes open to see shadows looming all around me, and my heart rate kicks up.
“Where’s our money?” I hear Jess or Kayla ask as I’m shoved and pushed around, my brain not able to decipher which one asked.
Money? From who?
My legs hit the cold metal of a car before right before my head hits the lip of what I think is a trunk, and then it all goes dark. Silent.
♠♣♥♦
My head is pounding. It feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it, and there’s something wrapped around my head to prevent me from seeing anything but black.
I try and move my arms and legs, but they’re restrained.
Panic starts to set in and my heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest.
I can’t move and I can’t see.
Casino King: A Dark Mafia Romance (Carfano Crime Family Book 1) Page 21
