Kisser

by Stuart Woods

  “Did you go into it with Mitzi?” he asked.

  “In broad terms. I’m prepared to give her a prospectus, if she’s interested, but she wanted your opinion.”

  “It’s hard to have an opinion,” Stone said, “when you’re talking in generalities.” He really wanted to be listening to the conversation between Sharpe and Mitzi, but at least downtown was listening.

  “I’ll make sure that you see the prospectus,” Larsen said.

  “Do you have a copy with you?”

  “Yes, but that’s Mitzi’s; I’ll send someone to you tomorrow with a copy that you can peruse, then return to me.”

  “You’re being very cautious,” Stone said.

  “The opportunity is large; I don’t want word to get around until I have my investors in this company.”

  “Good thinking,” Stone said. Then it got very quiet. He caught Patti looking at his crotch and involuntarily crossed his legs.

  36

  MITZILED DEREK HARPE into the study off the living room, and they sat down on a sofa. She turned to face him. “This is awkward,” she said.

  Derek placed a hand on her knee. “I don’t want you ever to feel awkward with me.”

  She shifted her position to dislodge the hand. “I have some friends in Charleston who want something that I can’t supply them,” she said.

  “And what would that be?” Sharpe asked.

  “Something that I have no experience in obtaining,” she said, “since I have no personal need for it.”

  “Well, if we were in the nineteen-twenties I’d think you were going to ask me where you could buy a case of Scotch.”

  “That’s not a bad analogy,” Mitzi said, trying to seem more nervous than she felt. “It’s just that I’ve been in New York for such a short time that my circle of acquaintance doesn’t extend to people who… have a wider circle of acquaintance.”

  “Now it sounds as if you want me to provide you with a porno star for your personal use. Or that of your friends.”

  “That’s not a good analogy,” she said. “What they want is unavailable over the counter, so to speak.”

  “Are we talking about illegal recreational drugs?” Sharpe asked.

  Mitzi heaved a big sign of apparent relief. “Yes,” she said.

  “In what sort of quantity?” he asked.

  “Oh, just small stuff,” she replied. “They asked me if I could find them half a pound each of marijuana and cocaine.”

  “Half a pound of either of those is not small stuff,” Sharpe replied. “Together, they make a quantity that ordinary dealers might be reluctant to sell you.”

  “Oh?” Mitzi asked innocently. “Why? Don’t they want to sell as much as possible?”

  “Yes, but they become uncomfortable when someone asks for a quantity that could subject them to arrest for dealing.”

  “But that’s what they do, isn’t it?”

  “They do, but the penalties for simple possession of a small amount of drugs for personal use and for possession in sufficient quantity to suggest intent to sell are very different, so they become cautious when such a request is made.”

  “If it’s about money, that’s not a problem,” Mitzi said.

  “It’s not about money, Mitzi; it’s more about discretion.”

  “Am I being indiscreet?” she asked, widening her eyes.

  “Just a little.”

  “I’m sorry. I have no experience at this sort of thing,” she said. “I apologize. Please forget I asked.” She began to rise, but he stopped her.

  “It’s for that reason that I want to advise you,” Sharpe said.

  “All right, what is your advice?”

  “First, we need to find some place to receive the package,” Sharpe said.

  “How about right here?” Mitzi asked, waving an arm. “This is not exactly a street corner.”

  “No, it’s not,” Sharpe admitted, “and this apartment would be a discreet place for you to accept delivery.”

  “Oh, good,” she said, brightening.

  “You understand that you must pay in cash?”

  “I wasn’t planning to write a check or use my American Express card,” she said.

  “Good, because you’re talking about quite a lot of cash.” He quoted a number.

  “Goodness, that much?”

  “That much.”

  “Well, it’s not my money,” she said. “I guess if that’s the going rate, they’ll have to pay it.”

  “Do you think they might object to that amount?” Sharpe asked.

  “They left it entirely to my discretion, and I leave it entirely to yours, Derek.”

  “All right. How soon can you have the cash?”

  “I already have it,” Mitzi said. “I always keep some cash in the safe. I hate ATMs-such small bills!”

  “I agree entirely,” Sharpe said. “Would you like to give me the money now?”

  “I believe I’d prefer cash on delivery,” Mitzi said. “That’s how my daddy brought me up.”

  “Well…”

  “I’m good for it, Derek. I hope you know that.”

  “Of course I know that, Mitzi. I’ll send the man over with it tomorrow morning, if that’s all right.”

  Mitzi shook her head. “I’m perfectly happy to receive the package here,” she said, “but I won’t have some drug dealer in this apartment. I’d be scared to death.”

  “Well, suppose I send Hildy Parsons over with it.”

  Mitzi shook her head again. “I wouldn’t ask Hildy to do that,” she said. “I hardly know her.”

  “Oh, she won’t know what’s she’s delivering,” Sharpe said.

  “I don’t care about that. I mean, if she had some sort of accident and got caught with it I’d never forgive myself. I’m surprised you’d let her do such a thing, Derek.”

  “You want me to deliver it myself?” he asked.

  She put her hand on his. “Oh, Derek, would you?”

  “Well…”

  “I’d be your friend forever,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I might even buy a picture… or two.”

  Sharpe smiled broadly. “I’d be very happy to help you out,” Derek said.

  “And if my friends are happy with what they get, could you get them more in the future?”

  “I’m sure I could,” Derek said. “Tell me, how are they going to get the package back to Charleston?”

  “They have their own jet,” she said.

  “Perfect,” Sharpe said. “And you’ll have the money ready?”

  “Of course. I’ll find something to put it in for you.”

  “That won’t be necessary; I’ll bring a briefcase.”

  “Oh, good,” Mitzi said, standing up.

  Sharpe stood up, too, and made a move toward her.

  Mitzi hadn’t been expecting it, and suddenly she found his lips on hers. It was a struggle not to grab a letter opener from the desk next to her and plunge it into his neck, but she stood still and let him put his tongue in her mouth for a moment, before pushing him gently away.

  “Oh, Derek, you’re so impulsive.”

  “I’ll be more deliberate next time,” he said.

  “What would Hildy say?”

  “I think Hildy might find it exciting,” he said.

  “Please don’t bring her with you tomorrow,” she said. “I would be embarrassed if she found out what we’re doing.”

  “I’ll come alone,” he said, rubbing the back of his fingers across her right breast.

  “Oh, good,” Mitzi said, taking his arm and leading him back into the living room. “Did you say ten tomorrow morning?”

  “That’s good for me,” he replied.

  She squeezed his arm. “That’s good for me, too.”

  37

  STONE AND MITZI SAT sipping bourbon at a front room table at the Park Avenue Café.

  “So, it went well?”

  “So well I can’t believe it,” Mitzi said. “Downtown was thrilled with what they got on
tape.” She smiled. “They enjoyed your tape, too.”

  “I’m afraid Patti had been given the task of keeping me out of the living room, and she was enjoying her work a little too much.” He gave her an account.

  Mitzi nearly choked on her Knob Creek. “I’m surprised you didn’t succumb!”

  “If you and Rita hadn’t worn me out last night, I might well have.”

  “Men have no stamina,” Mitzi said.

  “I didn’t know we were so weak.”

  She nodded. “One orgasm and you’re done.”

  “Well, with a little time out in between I can sometimes manage a second round.”

  “Sex renders men unconscious,” she said. “Whereas Rita and I could have gone on all night. In fact, we nearly did!”

  “But I was unconscious.”

  “Well, yes.”

  “Maybe we had the wrong kind of threesome,” she said.

  “You mean…”

  “Yes, you and another guy and me, lest you mistake my meaning.”

  “I have no interest in guys.”

  “Doesn’t matter, as long as you’re both interested in me.”

  “You’re a glutton,” Stone said.

  “Sometimes. I’ve never seen the harm in getting everything you want.”

  “Hard to argue with that,” Stone agreed.

  “I mean, Rita and I gave you everything you wanted, didn’t we?”

  “Everything my heart desired.”

  “I rest my case.”

  Stone took a sip of his drink and tried to think of something to say.

  “So,” she said, “do you know another guy?”

  “Dino is the only single man I know, and as much as I love him, I don’t think I’d like to get into bed with him.”

  “I take your point. I guess I’ll have to do my own hunting.”

  “I’m afraid so.” Stone finally thought of something else to say. “By the way, tomorrow morning, you should have your people in place a couple of hours before you expect Derek Sharpe with the goods.”

  “Good idea.”

  “You could put one of them in a doorman’s uniform.”

  She shook her head. “The co-op board would be outraged if they thought the NYPD was staging a drug bust in the building.”

  “Come to think of it, you’re not going to need a lot of help to take Derek. You and Tom should be able to handle him; then you can walk him out, and the board will be none the wiser.”

  “I think that’s best,” Mitzi said. “I’d hate to get Rita thrown out of the building, especially when she’s asked me to move in with her.”

  Stone almost choked on his bourbon. “You two are getting very chummy, aren’t you?”

  “Well, you’re a witness to that, aren’t you?”

  “I know you like men, Mitzi, but does Rita?”

  “You have to ask? She enjoyed you as much as I did.”

  “I suppose.”

  “Women are not embarrassed about being attracted to other women. Men, on the other hand, are worried that someone will think they’re gay.”

  “That’s perfectly true,” Stone admitted, “but I wouldn’t have thought you and Rita…”

  “Rita and me sometimes,” Mitzi said. “Anyway, it’s nice for a girl to have a roommate, somebody to sit around in pajamas with, eating chocolates.”

  “And each other.”

  “That, too. Nothing wrong with a full life.”

  Stone had nothing further to contribute on the subject. “I suppose Brian is pleased with the way your case is going,” he said lamely.

  “He’d sure better be,” Mitzi said. “When we tag Derek, the tabloids are going to go nuts, and he’ll be the guy standing in front of the cameras. He’ll get noticed at One Police Plaza.”

  “I guess he’ll enjoy that,” Stone said. “Is he bucking for captain?”

  “You bet your ass he is,” Mitzi said, laughing. “And if this case puts him over the top, I’m never going to let him forget it!”

  “What about Sig Larsen?” Stone asked.

  “I told you, Brian isn’t interested in him. He’s got the U.S. Attorney’s office on pins and needles, though. After Bernie Madoff they think it’s fashionable to bring in financial scam artists.”

  “Tell Brian I don’t think he should mention my name to the U.S. Attorney.”

  “The beautiful blonde? Why not?”

  “Well, a couple of years ago, right after she got the job, we had a little thing that ended up getting us into the papers.”

  Mitzi looked shocked. “That was you? You actually got video-taped in bed with her?”

  “Fortunately, my face was out of the frame, but she got recognized. She was the one on top at the time.”

  Mitzi hooted. “Brian is going to love this!”

  “Just tell him it’s in his interests not to bring my name into it. By the way, did you keep a copy of Sig’s prospectus?”

  “No, he wouldn’t let me. I read most of it, and it sounds very appetizing, if you’ve got a lot of money to throw around.”

  “He said he would send someone to my office with a copy that I could read but not keep.”

  “I know Brian would love it if you found a way to make a copy,” Mitzi said.

  “I don’t live to make Brian Doyle happy,” Stone said.

  “He loved it that he got you put back on active duty.”

  Stone winced. “He loves it that he can use that to give me orders.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Don’t worry; when he starts doing that, I’ll ignore them.”

  “Don’t piss him off, Stone; I’ve still got to live with him.”

  “Do you and Brian have something going on?”

  “A long time ago,” she said, “before he made lieutenant. He was my first partner, assigned to break me in.”

  “And he did?”

  “In a manner of speaking,” she said with a sly smile.

  38

  STONE WOKE UP, exhausted again. He was going to have to get some real rest, he thought, as he swung his legs over the side of the well-mussed bed. He could smell bacon frying.

  Mitzi had left him a razor and toothbrush in her bathroom. He shaved, showered, and then looked for his clothes. Nowhere in sight. He found a robe in a closet and walked down to the kitchen. Rita was cooking, and Mitzi was ironing. A woman he didn’t know was sitting at the counter having coffee.

  “You’re up!” Mitzi said.

  “Sort of. I’m pretty tired.”

  Rita laughed. “You’d be even more tired if I’d known you were in the apartment.”

  “Good morning,” Stone said to the attractive young woman at the counter.

  “Oh, Stone,” Rita said. “This is my friend Emma Suess. She served you canapés the first time you were here, in the maid’s uniform?”

  “How do you do,” Emma said, extending a hand. “I’m not really a maid; I’m an actress. I was playing the role of maid that night.”

  “I’m pleased to meet you, Emma,” Stone said. He wondered what other roles she played around the house.

  Mitzi handed him his freshly ironed shorts and shirt. “I’ll be done with your suit in a minute.”

  Stone got into them, then his pants, when she had finished.

  “Now don’t you feel all fresh and new?” Mitzi asked.

  “Fresh, maybe, but not new.”

  “Tom will be here around nine.”

  Rita put eggs and bacon on the counter, and they all ate with gusto.

  “So,” Rita said, “you’re going to put away Mr. Derek Sharpe this morning.”

  “We hope,” Stone said.

  “For sure,” Mitzi interjected.

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Stone said.

  “We’ve got the guy boxed, Stone. Why do you sound so discouraged?”

  “I’m not discouraged. I just don’t know what you and Sharpe said to each other last night and if it’s going to translate into a successful prosecution. One thing drug d
ealers always have is plenty of cash for the best lawyers.”

  “Once we nail him with the goods, he’ll cop a plea, and we’ll put him away for ten years.”

  “The Rockefeller laws have been repealed,” Stone said, “or hadn’t you heard about that? A conviction doesn’t mean an automatic ten-year sentence anymore; the judge is going to have discretion.”

  “Are you saying a judge can be bought?”

  “That, too,” Stone replied.

  “I talked to Brian this morning,” Mitzi said. “The minute we’ve got the cuffs on Sharpe they’ll be in his building with a search warrant, and we’ll find his stash. I’ll bet it’s a lot.”

  “I’ll bet it’s not in the building,” Stone said. “Sharpe is not stupid. I think you’d do better to let this morning’s arrest slide, then set up another one in a few days and nail him then.”

  “So why didn’t you mention this last night?”

  “I was thinking about other things last night.”

  “That’s sweet of you, but since you didn’t get your two cents in, we’ll have to go with it as it is.”

  “You can call Brian and suggest a new plan.”

  “He wouldn’t go for it.”

  “At least you’d have your ass covered if this goes wrong.”

  “Well,” she said, “there’s a lot to be said for having your ass covered.”

  “Call him,” Stone said.

  Mitzi took her plate and went into another room.

  Rita took a sip of her coffee and looked at Stone over the brim of the cup. “Now she’s going to be all pissed off,” she said. “You’re spoiling her party.”

  “I’m trying to protect her from Brian Doyle,” Stone said.

  “You think she needs protecting from her boss?”

  “Brian is a… mercurial guy, and if this goes wrong, he’s not going to take the blame.”

  “And if it goes wrong, what happens to Hildy Parsons?”

  “There’s that, too,” Stone said. “And that’s my principal interest in all this.”

  “Mine, too.”

  Mitzi came back into the room. “Brian says to go ahead with the buy but not to bust Sharpe, just let him walk out with the money.”

  “Are the bills marked?”

  “If they are, Brian didn’t tell me.”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if Sharpe owns an ultraviolet light,” Stone said. “He’ll be looking for marks.”