Steve Demaree - Dekker 09 - Murder on a Blind Date

by Steve Demaree

  "Lou really was kidnapped. Taken down to the Smoky Mountains. You can call Thelma Lou for verification if you don't believe me."

  "I plan to call her next."

  "George and I are going down tomorrow to pick him up. He's in the hospital now, but he gets released in the morning."

  "I assume he was shot."

  "No, just roughed up a little. But he was outside for a couple of hours after he escaped before someone found him and took him to the hospital, and he had some issues with that. Anyway, we may be back tomorrow. We might not be back until the next day."

  "Is this the George who's with the police department? The tall, dumb cop?"

  "No, this is Cy who used to be with the police department, not quite as tall, but brilliant."

  "Maybe I should stay here a few more days."

  "Or meet us in Gatlinburg."

  "No, I miss my home too much. Hurry back! I might have a hug and kiss for you. But if I call Thelma Lou and find out you've been lying to me, you'd better stay in Gatlinburg."

  8

  It was still dark when I picked up George at 5:05. He brought snacks. It had been a while since I had had a Hostess Twinkie before 7:00. I turned on the dome light and checked the expiration date. It said they were still good until 2030. George told me it was one of the Twinkies left over from his twelfth birthday party. He had brought some Hershey syrup to dunk them in, but I didn't want to mess up my van, so we ate them with only the preservatives they came with. Well, George brought orange juice, too. Once I dunked my Twinkie in the orange juice. It added a little something. Every few minutes, before we took the first bite out of another Twinkie, we pretended the one in our hand was a microphone. Man was not made to sing along with 60s on 6 before daylight. Some of us weren't made to do so anytime. I think we were sitting at a traffic light just before getting on the interstate in Lexington when we looked at each other and sang You're the One That I Want. It didn't matter that it wasn't a 60s song, or that it wasn't playing on radio. We received two thumbs up from the two guys in the old Dodge Charger in the other lane, who looked like they were on their way home, not out, and that they had had a rough night. The light changed and we pulled away, but I laid my Twinkie down while I navigated the U-turn onto the interstate and headed south toward Lou. George and I were all sung out by the time we got to the Tennessee Welcome Center. Not a lot of people were there to welcome us on a cold, late January morning. We decided to plod on despite the lack of hospitality.

  The interstate had been plowed, and few people were on the road, so it was just before 10:00 when George and I arrived at the place where Lou told us he would meet us. We walked in, and there Lou was seated at a table like he was somebody special. Normally The Pancake Pantry is so crowded that they have a rule that they don't seat anyone until the entire party is there. But it was January, and not only is January cold, but the Pancake Pantry doesn't have a line out the door and down the street at that time of the year. And Lou must have told them he was just released from the hospital.

  As we walked over to greet our grinning friend, Lou didn't bother to get up. And despite the grin, it didn't look like he had just had his best day.

  George looked at Lou's face.

  "Is this what you call an extreme makeover?"

  "No, it's what you call getting slapped by more trees than I can count."

  "That's what you get for making improper advances to trees you don't know."

  Lou gave me a look of "Why didn't you leave this guy at home?" and then spoke again.

  "I'm glad you guys showed up. Whoever kidnapped me didn't give me time to get my wallet, so one of you will have to pay for whatever I order."

  It was my turn to respond.

  "George, how would you like to eat in front of him and watch him salivate as he watches us eat?"

  "If you don't take care of me, when you get home one of you won't have a girlfriend."

  "George, does you wife know about your girlfriend?"

  "I think he was talking about you."

  We did our best to make up for the people who couldn't make it to the Pancake Pantry that day. I wondered if I moved to Gatlinburg if I would get tired of eating at that place all the time. Then I remembered that was no problem. I could eat every other day at the Applewood Farmhouse.

  We ordered crepes with berries and cream cheese, pancakes with nuts and chocolate, plus bacon and sausage. We asked our server if she could set our food in the middle, then bring us extra plates so all three of us could enjoy some of everything. She willingly accommodated us. We took our time eating, then showed George around the area, in case he wanted to come back sometime. Well, that was part of the reason. The other part was so we would be hungry again by the time we got to Sevierville. Lou and I thought George needed to experience the Applewood Farmhouse at lunch. While we were wasting time I bought Jennifer a coming home present at one of The Village shops. Neither Lou or George wanted word to get back home that I bought something for Jennifer while we were in Gatlinburg while they kept their money in their pockets, so both of them bought a present for his significant other.

  Like Lou and I, George was impressed by the entire Applewood complex that many refer to as the Apple Barn. But especially the food. They kept bringing it. I made sure I let George know that there's even more at dinner. And he made sure he left with some apple fritters to eat on the way home, in case he got hungry.

  On the way back we talked about Lou's ordeal. Well, as much of it as he could remember.

  "Lou, you never told us how you found your way out of that house without a door."

  "Cy, you remember those dimmer switches on the floor of old cars?"

  "Yeah, but what's that got to do with getting out of a house?"

  "I'll tell you if you give me time. There was something like that under the carpet, next to a wall. I accidentally stepped on it and a panel slid away, and voila, the great outdoors revealed itself. I didn't wait around to see what I needed to trigger to get back in. I had no interest in returning to that place. Just getting away from there as quickly as I could, just in case you know who returned with more bodies. Or came back to end my life. No telling what he was like."

  "So, you remember that it was a man?"

  "I have no idea. It could have been a gorilla. Remember. I was out. I didn't see or hear a thing. And whatever it was that whoever it was gave me, it was potent enough to knock me out for several hours."

  We were about to cross back over into Kentucky when my phone rang. I don't make a lot of calls on my new cell phone, so it took me a minute to realize what the noise was. As it turned out, the call was from the other woman in my life, Heather. She called to inform me that both missing men had arranged for a blind date with the same agency, and she might need my help in locating another missing man in addition to Lou. I wasn't sure what she had in mind. If it had registered at the time, I might have started sweating right then.

  +++

  We got back home a little after 7:00. Each of us had made a phone call as we came through Lexington and headed to Hilldale. George's wife told him she would have his supper ready. Lou and I made calls so that we wouldn't have to make any after we got home. I dropped George off at his house, then headed for Lou's place. He looked like someone who had recently endured a dance marathon, or someone who had cut his own version of the Appalachian Trail, so I helped him into his apartment, then left and headed home. I was more sleepy than hungry, so I headed to bed. I woke up at 9:30, got up and fixed myself a peanut butter sandwich, ate it, then headed back to bed.

  9

  When I left Lou on Tuesday night I told him that I was in better shape than he was, so he could call me when he got up and felt like talking on Wednesday morning, but not to call me before 9:00. He told me that he would concede that I was in better shape on Tuesday, but he felt he was in better shape on the previous Friday. I decided not to argue the point. I had no intention of entering a two-man Iron Man competition. Finding the bathroom when I left my bed wa
s as rugged of an exercise as I wanted to endure. Well, other than doing something on my Wii after I was good and awake.

  Because I went to bed much earlier than usual on Tuesday night, I was up and at 'em by a little after 8:00 on Wednesday morning, and was feeling good enough that I wished that the Pancake Pantry delivered. Jennifer was due to return sometime Wednesday, and I knew she would call me shortly after she returned home. At some point, when she felt up to it, I would go by and see her and give her the gift I bought her. At that point, I had no idea how glad I was that I had bought that gift, and how much I would need it. That information came a few minutes later when the phone rang.

  The phone rang and I looked at my watch. It said 8:48. To Lou, after 9:00 meant after 9:00, and I couldn't picture Jennifer calling me so early, so I was puzzled as to who would greet me so early in the morning. Curious, too. Curious enough that I answered my house phone, which is so old-fashioned that you still dial the numbers instead of punch them in. And my old phone certainly didn't have Caller ID.

  "Hello," I said warily.

  "Hi, Cy. I didn't wake you, did I?"

  "No, I've been up for almost an hour."

  "Cy, you know how much I love you, don't you?"

  "And I love you too, Heather. So what is it you want from me this time? Evidently it's not as bad as the last time, since you didn't show up at my front door. Or are you calling me to tell me you need to stop by again?"

  "No, it's pretty much straight forward. I just called to tell you the name of that dating service that arranged the blind dates for those missing people. I thought you might want to check them out on the internet."

  "Do you think there's something on there that only I can see that will help you locate those missing guys?"

  "Maybe."

  "The way you said that, evidently you have more in mind."

  "See, I knew you were smart. That's the reason I called you for help."

  "Okay, Heather. What else did you have in mind?"

  "Well, as far as I can tell, the website is pretty straight forward as to how they operate, what they offer men and women. How they arrange dates. Besides, you can print an application from their website and mail it to them."

  "Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. You're not suggesting that I become one of the guys looking for a date, are you?"

  "Well, Cy. I thought that's what I was doing. How are you going to find out enough about them if you don't go out on the firing lines?"

  "I think you used a good choice of words. Firing lines. Remember I already have a girlfriend. Remember Jennifer? Remember Jealous Jennifer?"

  "Yeah, I remember Jennifer. Nice looking. Been very good for you."

  "So, I guess that let's me out."

  "Cy, I'm not asking you to marry one of these women. Just meet some of them to find out if one of them might be our kidnapper. You don't really have to date any of them."

  "Can't I just look at some of their pictures?"

  "Cy, just read what it says online. Then you'll understand."

  "Do I let Jennifer read it too, so she can understand?"

  "That's up to you, Cy. I'll be glad to talk to her about it."

  "Heather. How can I say this? Jennifer's still not sure that you're safe. Remember Miss Pretty Face and Outstanding Body. You're twenty-eight and she's forty-two. Sometimes women with crow's feet are leery of women who show no signs of aging."

  "I show signs of aging."

  "I'm not talking about those kinds of aging that happen between twelve and twenty-five. I'm talking about the ones that happen after you hit thirty-five or forty."

  "Cy, just read what you see online and then we'll talk."

  "How about I read what I see online, and then maybe Jennifer and I will talk?"

  "Okay, but what I haven't told you yet is that if Jennifer wants to be there, she can be there when you meet these women."

  "I definitely don't think that would work."

  "Again you don't understand. Just read what's on the website and then we'll talk again."

  "Why don't you call Lou? He's already been in the hospital once. Another time won't make much difference."

  "Cy, I need someone good-looking and charming. I need you."

  "Heather, you are going to be the death of me yet. Okay, give me the website. I promise you I'll read what's on there, but I'm not promising you anything else."

  "That's okay, Cy. If I have to do the hard sell, I'll drop by unannounced. Oh, here's the name of the dating service. Just For You."

  "Is that the name of the dating service, or are you talking about my last meal before my long walk?"

  "Cy, you know you're man enough to pull this off. Ciao!"

  I hung up, figured it was time to take a vacation and not tell anyone where I'm going. Instead I slinked over to the computer, wondered what I ever did to get in these kind of predicaments. And wondered how I was going to face those two gorgeous women in my life, the two people I have trouble saying "no" to. And I couldn't see how a "yes" would satisfy both of them.

  +++

  I was curious about the dating service, but not curious enough that I put it before my devotional time and breakfast. I opted for breakfast first, figured I would let my food settle while I spent time with God. I was able to complete both before the phone rang again. With nothing pressing, I went to satisfy my curiosity. I sat down at the computer, went to Google and keyed in the name of the dating service. Once there I found the information I needed to click and go to their website. The first thing it asked me was for me to type in the name of the city and state where I live. Since they didn't ask me for my name, address, and Social Security number, or for any numbers on my credit card I complied. This took me to a new screen, one that had the information I was seeking. At least they were very up front. The first thing they told me is that it would cost me one hundred dollars to meet a member of the opposite sex who has a lot in common with me. Then it told me that I could fill out an application, mail it in, and they would contact me about a place to meet a possible significant other. I was told that my one hundred dollars would allow me to meet up to three women, provided the first one or two didn't provide a love connection. It went on to say that I would meet the first woman on neutral ground, that she would know only my first name, and that after dinner together we would leave separately. And within a couple of days I would contact the company to let them know what I thought of this person. If both of us gave the dinner date a thumbs up, we would both be sent contact information for each other and it would be up to us to make any future plans. I wondered how we were to recognize each other, and if they would fix me up with one old hag after another until they had met their obligation. It was time to make a phone call and find out more about them.

  +++

  "Spare me the green eggs and ham reference, Sam. I have a job for you."

  "Is this one I'll be getting paid for, or one for old time's sake?"

  "Well, I don't think I'm getting paid for it, so I doubt if you will, either. Let's say it will be your contribution to mankind."

  "Are you saying I have yet to make a contribution to mankind?"

  "No, I'm saying that you will continue to do so as long as you can walk and breathe."

  "So, this will go on even after they put me in the nursing home?"

  "Enough chitchat. I need to you find out whatever you can on a business called Just For You. It's a dating service."

  "So, you're going to be running around on that girlfriend of yours, huh?"

  "I don't know what I'm doing, but I want to know their connection to a couple of guys who have mysteriously disappeared after using their dating service."

  "Cy, if you want to disappear, there are other ways, you know."

  "I don't want to disappear. I want to help Heather find a friend of a friend who has disappeared."

  "Heather, huh? I knew there had to be a woman in there somewhere."

  "It's a dating service. I assume there are several women in there somewhere. Maybe even some
one for you."

  "Perish the thought. Okay, tell me what you know about them."

  "I don't know much. That's the reason I called you. But I can tell you that they are located in Lexington, in the heart of the Bluegrass State. I want to know anything you can tell me about them. Who owns the service? How big are they? Have they had any problems? And would it be possible for you to hack into their computer and give me a list of their clients?"

  "You don't want much, do you, Cy?"

  "Just to locate these missing men, and to find out if anyone else is missing."

  "I'll see what I can do."

  "And another thing. I want you to find out what you can about the place Lou was held until he was able to escape. See who owns the house, and whatever else you can about the place."

  I hung up. I wasn't feeling good about any of this. Maybe these two guys found someone else through some other means and didn't tell anyone about it. Would that be too farfetched?

  I was contemplating what to do when the phone rang. I picked it up.

  "Are you up, Cy?"

  "What do you think, Lou?"

  "My guess is 'yes,' because your phone isn't next to your bed and you answered within five minutes."

  "So, how's your memory?"

  "My memory is fine, except for that kidnapping episode."

  "You haven't heard any more from the Tennessee police, have you?"

  "No, I think they bought my story. I didn't tell anyone this, but the doctor told me if I had been out in that cold another fifteen minutes that it would have been a lot worse."

  "And you would have blamed me, because I was the one who told you to leave those dead bodies."

  "You mean I wasn't supposed to take them with me. You don't know how much time it cost me dragging that couple all over the place. I wrapped them up together, facing each other. I didn't think they would mind. The guy was taller, the woman's lips only came to his neck. Anyway, because he was taller I hit his head on a tree at least twice, and a couple of other times the two of them got stuck in some branches. I think that was because of the bungee cords I used to keep them together."