Chemistry of a Kiss

by Kimberly Krey

  I gulped, and it felt like acid had snuck up my throat.

  At last he shoved one of the cards back into his pocket and turned the sign so it faced the crowd and Tasha, who’d backed away from him so everyone could see.

  Y. E. S. The bright red letters had matching lip blotches around them, and the sight felt like eyeball stabs.

  The school erupted in the loudest, echoing cheer of the entire event. Tasha bolted over, grabbed hold of his wrist and raised his hand triumphantly over his head, rousing an even bigger response.

  That was it. I’d had all I could handle. More than I could take, in fact. I shuffled my way off the bleachers in a rush, wishing more than anything I could be invisible until I got to my car. I wasn’t sure where I was going or what I planned to do. I only knew I had to get out of there, and quick.

  Bailey and Summer, who’d been helping with the sound system for the assembly, must have abandoned the scene too because I heard them calling after me down the hall.

  “Harper, wait!”

  But there was no way. The tears were about to win out and I couldn’t let that happen until I was alone. So I kept running over the squeaky floors, pretending not to hear my friends, and pushed my way through the double doors at the end of the hall.

  Tears blurred my vision once I hit the lot, complicating my hurried path as I weaved through one cluster of cars after the next until I came to my Jetta.

  I climbed in quickly, closed the door behind me, and gripped the steering wheel with numb fingers. A streak of sunlight shone on the track in the distance, highlighting a set of javelins against the fence. I cringed, feeling as if a javelin the size of Sweet Water was ripping its way through my chest. The burning ache made it hard to catch my next breath. I clenched my eyes against the pain, willing myself to wipe up the tears and drive my butt as far away from Jett as I could get.

  Lord, how could I have been so wrong?

  Another flaming javelin came ripping through.

  My phone buzzed with a text, and then another. Of course I hoped they were from Jett, though I’m sure he was too busy falling all over Tasha while everyone congratulated them about getting back together. I wasn’t even sure they were back together. Maybe he just said yes because he didn’t dare to say no in front of everyone. Or maybe I was in denial.

  A quick glance at my screen said the texts were from a group chat between me, Bailey, and Summer.

  Bailey’s came first. Jett is a total jerk for doing that. Do you want us to come with you while you confront him?

  Summer’s came next. Come back and talk to him. This doesn’t seem like something Jett would do.

  She was right, but he’d done it. The entire school had witnessed it. And the thing was, all of this was at least partially my fault. I’d been willing to take part in some ruse. One to make our exes jealous. And now Jett had gotten what he really wanted out of it. Turns out, that wasn’t me.

  My chest burned with hot, achy breaths as I tapped out a quick reply.

  Please, whatever you do, don’t say anything to him or his friends. I think I know why he did this, and I want to talk to him about it myself.

  I hit send, shoved my key into the ignition, and roared up the engine. I had zero intention of actually confronting Jett, but I didn’t feel bad for lying about it either. I’d said the one thing that would stop Bailey and Summer from trying to fix this for me.

  Jett wanted his ex back, and he’d used the one girl who’d always wanted him to do it. Nothing anyone said or did could fix that. With that horrid truth in my mind, I headed toward home.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I tried to get out of dinner with the grandparents that night but when my mom and Missy told them that I wasn’t coming, Gramps moseyed right on into my room, sat at the foot of my bed, and tapped the covers I was hiding under.

  “Knock knock, Gal,” he said in that raspy voice of his.

  “Who’s there?” I asked, my lips grazing the drooping sheet.

  “Iffy,” he grumbled.

  I might have been gripped by more layers of devastation than I’d known in all my seventeen years, but I had to know where he was going with this. “Iffy who?”

  “If ye don’t come to dinner with us tonight, you’ll make ye grandma and I cry.”

  I clenched my eyes shut under the covers and stifled a groan. How in the world could I say no to that? My mom was always reminding me that we didn’t know how long they’d be with us; I didn’t want to regret this moment for the rest of my life.

  All the way to the restaurant, I imagined sitting at the table with my family, checking out the menu, and placing my order for all to hear. “I’ll take three pints of ice cream with a jumbo spoon, one box of tissues—could you make those extra soft? And a paper bag to hide under while I bawl my face off.”

  I felt so sad and miserable and…humiliated! Just moments before the horrible incident, I’d convinced myself that Jett would be answering me with a giant YES at the assembly. I assumed he would call or text once the assembly was through, but he had the nerve to wait until school was over, which I thought was ridiculous and insulting and showed just how immature he actually was. And here I’d thought he was better than TJ all this time. Huh!

  I waited clear until dinner was through to pull out my phone and reread the text he’d sent me. Have fun with your grandparents tonight. Maybe I could swing by once you guys are through?

  I hadn’t answered him back yet because I wasn’t sure what kind of stupid game he was playing. I’d expected him to at least acknowledge the fact that I. Asked. Him. First! What did he want to say now? “Hope you and I were on the same page. You wanted TJ and I wanted Tasha, right?” And even if that wasn’t the case, even if Jett really did like me, what sort of excuse could he possibly have for ignoring my invite while saying yes to hers?

  Back at home Gramps patted my back and planted a kiss to the top of my head. “Night, Gal. You stay away from those boys now, ya hear? They’re nothing but trouble.”

  Grams chuckled and gave his cheeks a pat. “I ought to know.” She moved in, and the two sandwiched me in a hug. Floral perfume mingled with Old Spice as I wrapped my arms around them in return, fighting the moisture threatening to spill from my eyes.

  “You don’t need to worry about the boys,” my mom said. “Harper’s dating the pastor’s son.”

  Was I, though?

  Missy danced a circle around us in the entryway. “Yeah, and he’s cute,” she squealed with a clap.

  Grams chuckled. “Uh oh, better watch out. She’s already boy crazy.” Grams moved over to give Missy a hug next, but Gramps stayed at my side.

  “You know us guys aren’t the smartest creatures,” he mumbled under his breath. “Don’t be afraid to give that fellow of yours a little…guidance, if you know what I mean.”

  “A lot of guidance,” Grams blurted, proving that her hearing aids were in top form. “If I hadn’t told this guy exactly what I needed over the years, we’d have both gone crazy.”

  I laughed, but inside I was practically tripping over Grams’ comment. Gramps was like, the perfect husband. Always attentive. Helping her with her coat. Asking the waiter to refill her glass or bring an extra pat of butter so she didn’t have to do it herself.

  I considered that long after we’d said goodnight to the happiest couple I knew. Why had Gramps said that? Had he sensed something was wrong? I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at myself as I recalled the way he’d knocked on the covers over my head and guilted me into going to dinner. Of course he knew something was wrong. I’d been moping the entire night.

  “Harper, were you going to get that outlet replaced in my bathroom?” Mom asked from the top of the stairs. “I really don’t want to curl my hair in the kid’s bathroom again.”

  Sounds of a bath running for Missy echoed down the stairs as she darted across the hall in a towel. “Why, because you don’t like bubbles?” She giggled.

  “Yeah,” I said as I shuffled into the kitchen. I snatche
d the sack with the outlet and trudged up the stairs. I’d learned that I could find out how to do just about any type of repair by watching DIY videos on the web. It had sort of become an addiction of mine. Mom made decent money selling real estate and all, but there was no need for her to pay for jobs I could take care of myself.

  “You’ll want to put some candles in there for Missy Moo,” I told her. “I’ll need to shut the lights out.”

  “Good idea.” Mom gathered the battery-operated candles on the edge of her Jacuzzi tub. “Want me to get a flashlight for you?” she asked.

  “Nope. Got my phone.” I pried open the closet door at the top of the stairs and pulled out the colorful craft box we kept the tools in. I hollered at Mom to shut off breakers number five and six, and tore open the package of screws as I waited for the lights to go out.

  Missy squealed with excitement once they did, and declared from the other side of the wall that she’d want candlelight bubble baths forever and ever. I had bigger thoughts on my brain. Specifically the stuff Grandma and Grandpa had told me. Were boys really that clueless? Tell him what I needed. What I needed was an answer and that should most definitely go without saying. For crying out loud, I wasn’t exactly asking him to be a mind reader. I wasn’t the guess-what’s-on-my-mind type of girl, was I?

  TJ’s ex-girlfriend, Tiffany, used to really mess with his head. “Why didn’t you do this for me?” Or “How come you didn’t do that?” She expected him to walk around with a crystal ball and predict her every possible need. According to him, anyway. But let’s get real. This was a no brainer. You get asked to a dance, you answer someone. It’s that simple. Anyone on the planet knows it.

  So there. I’d rejected the idea that I was meant to heed to their well-intended, elderly advice in this regard. Jett was the one who was in the wrong here, and I didn’t want to act like it was all right by replying to his text and inviting him to come over like he’d suggested. Especially if it meant he was just going to officially break things off.

  Although, a very big part of me didn’t believe that he would. Call it denial all you want, but I still kind of believed—somewhere deep in my heart—that Jett really had fallen for me. That he liked me even still.

  Perhaps he’d just gotten distracted by Tasha at their assembly practice.

  Maybe he just needed to realize that he could lose me too.

  “Okay,” I hollered. “You can switch the breaker back on.”

  “Switching …” my mom announced.

  I heard splashing from the kid’s bathroom. “I don’t want them back on.” The pitter patter that followed said she’d already figured out how to solve the problem herself by flipping down the switch. At once the lights in Mom’s bathroom flashed back on, causing me to squint against the brightness.

  I tugged open the oversized drawer in Mom’s vanity, pulled out her hair dryer, and plugged it in. Mom walked in just as I flipped the switch. The small thing blasted into life with a hot hum.

  “Thanks, hon,” she said. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

  I grinned, appreciating the kind words more than usual. I was needy tonight. “Night, Mom,” I said after putting the hairdryer back in place. “Love you.”

  “Love you too, Harper boo.”

  I shuffled back into my room, my mind trying to work my way out of the mess I was in. I was so distracted by the thoughts in my brain that I almost missed the sight of the boy standing there. Blond scraggly hair, ripped jeans, and a leather jacket that smelled like smoke.

  “TJ?” It came out in a squeak.

  He hitched a thumb over his shoulder to point to my balcony door. “Sorry, thought this would be easier than trying to get past your mom.”

  I nodded for him to continue.

  “I heard about Jett and Tasha, and I think I’ve got a plan.”

  I furrowed my brow as I scrutinized him. “A plan?” TJ wouldn’t be caught dead at a school dance, so I couldn’t imagine what kind of plan he might devise.

  He tucked a thumb casually into his front pocket and tipped his head to one side. His eyes lit up with a new spark of mischief that said he’d probably earned more of that bad boy status than I’d given him credit for. “Let’s go to the dance together.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I shrugged into my flannel shirt without an ounce of enthusiasm.

  I’d counted at least half a dozen things I’d rather do than go to the dance with TJ tonight, one of which entailed scrubbing vomit from the dining room rug—a chore I’d acquired when Missy and Mom had the flu.

  What had I been thinking when I agreed to this? Tonight I’d be stuck watching Tasha, my Mean Girl nemesis, petting the guy I’d been in love with my entire life. Just the idea triggered enough of my own flu-like symptoms to put me down for a week.

  I fastened each small button with slow fingers, wondering if Jett would be wearing a flannel shirt too. Of course he would; it was 90’s grunge, what else was there? TJ was stoked when he heard about the theme. He even called up Mrs. Parks, the school principal, to see if he and Grunge Town could play a live song or two during the dance. While Mrs. Parks declined his offer, insisting it was too late to make necessary arrangements, she told him she would make an exception to the rule about school dropouts coming to the dance, so long as he agreed to look into a course that would help him attain his GED.

  That had to count for something, didn’t it? Perhaps I’d play a role in TJ getting his life together after all. I let out a humorless laugh at the thought. Hadn’t I given up on that idea yet?

  The truth is, I was pretty sure I’d taken a bad situation and made it worse. The day after TJ asked me to go to the dance with him, I walked right up to Jett in the east hall and told him about it. I had spent the entire night rehearsing for it. I’d hopped out of bed extra early, spent extra time so I’d look as smoking hot as I could (for me, anyway) and fully expected to gain some sort of satisfaction from the act.

  What I didn’t expect was the expression that came over his face. It might have been the same look he’d give me if I reached out and slapped him. Or stabbed some massive hot poker through his chest.

  To top it off, he didn’t show up to first period. Fine, I’d told myself. Let him have a turn being too distraught to sit through class. It seemed terribly off balance though. Why have such a big reaction to something he’d caused in the first place? I was the one who should be angry.

  I kept hearing Grams’ and Gramps’ advice in the back of my mind, practically begging me to speak up and communicate with the guy, but the woman scorned in me wouldn’t allow it. Besides, Jett was the reason we were in this mess. Not only hadn’t he replied to my invitation to the dance, he’d basically spit on it by telling Tasha yes when she’d asked in front of the entire school.

  That was the last time I spoke to Jett. We hadn’t called or texted one another since. Or said so much as a “hey” or “hi” in the hall. With new partners in first period, we sat on opposite sides of the room, which made it easy for me to escape before he had the chance to ignore me.

  So it was official. Things between us—if they were ever real in the first place—were over now. At least I hadn’t seen Tasha and Jett cuddling up to one another. That was a sight I did not want to see.

  The blur of my reflection came back into focus as a knock sounded at my bedroom door. “TJ’s here,” Mom said as she stepped into my room. “He’s downstairs looking at all of Missy’s drawings.”

  She took a seat at the foot of my bed and looked me up and down. “What—did you raid my high school closet?” she asked with a laugh. “You look exactly like me when I was your age. Apart from the hair color.” She swooped the blonde strands of her shoulder-length hair behind one ear.

  I tried to picture her back in those days. She hadn’t met my father until college. Her first frat party. It got the wheels in my mind turning. Thinking of the way fate had shoved TJ right back into my lap. After I’d tried very hard to let go and…let God, like Mom ha
d suggested.

  “Why did you start dating Dad?” I asked. It might not be the best time to have this conversation, but I really wanted to know what my role was regarding TJ. Whether I ever wound up with Jett or not, I realized now that he was the type of guy I wanted.

  “I liked him because he was funny and charming, and in some ways…well, he seemed to have just a very kind heart.” She shrugged. “And because I sensed that he was good—really good—at heart, I figured I could fix him.” She’d dropped her gaze to the floor, and for a moment, I saw a world of emotion rush through her.

  She glanced back up to me, hints of moisture welling in her eyes, and gulped. “You’re not in charge of fixing him, Harper. TJ might be just as kindhearted as your father, but that doesn’t mean he’ll become the man he could be. He may, he may not. That’s all up to him.”

  I felt her words pierce the deepest part of me. The part that doubted I had the right to walk away. I heard what she’d said, and for the first time, I believed it. A great burst of emotion crashed over me, fuzzy and warm in my chest, assuring me that what she said was true.

  I hadn’t exactly given TJ up for the right reasons last time. It’d been more of a kneejerk reaction to what he’d done. But perhaps I needed this moment. Needed it so that I’d pursue the Jetts of the world, not the TJs.

  Mom was off the bed and wrapping her arms around me in a blink. Shushing me gently as the sobs finally came. I wasn’t going to have Jett. I was only now really letting myself realize that. Which meant I had two official goodbyes tearing at my chest. One with TJ, a guy I very much cared about. And Jett, the guy I’d started falling in love with. The one I could actually picture having a future with.

  “I really wanted it to work with Jett Bryant,” I admitted.

  “It still might,” she said as she rubbed my back. “It still might. Don’t write him off just yet.”