by Lannah Smith
"Skull told me there used to be a couch up here," Sophia said, leafing through her book. "But John kept bringing up girls so they discarded it."
Damn it.
It just occurred to me that these two didn't know I was going out with John.
"W-well, he's not anymore right?" Hannah cut-in with a nervous giggle, glancing at me. "I mean, I don't hear him playing around with girls anymore."
And it then occurred to me that Hannah must be thinking I was one-sidedly in love with John.
"Well, that's true," Sophia muttered. "After that Roxie incident, he probably should be picky with who he's going to sleep with. But then again," she glanced at me too, "I think he's starting to think about relationships seriously."
Alright, what the heck was that glance all about?
My head tipped slightly to the side, I gave them both a look, "Can we all just agree that he's a manwhore?"
"A manwhore in the past, maybe?" Hannah offered.
Sophia shrugged. "Even so, John's a great guy. He's loyal to his friends, he's handsome and charming, and he's quite intelligent considering he's also in the special class. And I don't doubt one bit that if he gets himself into a relationship, he'd treat his girlfriend like a queen."
Her face darkened again and it was clear she was thinking of Leon again.
"I can lend you my shoulder again if you want to cry," I offered. "Just don't wipe your snot on me please."
She giggled but I still felt the sadness leaking from her. I looked at the ring on my hand and thought of John. I knew how it felt, being so close to the love of the life but at the same time feeling so far away.
"Were you really serious about going to Skull's party with me?" she asked.
I nodded. "Do you want to take it back?"
She instantly shook her head. "I'm actually relieved you would."
"Oh, God, please don't remind me of that party," Hannah whined. "I'm still mad that I can't go."
"Skull probably would like it if you'd go," Sophia told her.
"He probably wouldn't if I beat him in beer pong or something. I just realized he's actually a sore loser and I don't want to be chased around by that giant again. Maybe it is a good thing I can't go."
"I think Skull likes you."
"Oh, shut up, Sophia. God forbid."
The school bell rang and with that, free time was over. Sophia stood up and waited for us to do the same. Hannah hooked her arm around Sophia's and with great exuberance, vaulted out of the door and down the stairs with her, whining about next week's exams.
I took a deep breath. The urge to protect Sophia, only grew stronger and with it, the feeling of wanting to punch Leon in the solar plexus for hurting.
With far less enthusiasm, I followed both of my best friends down the rooftop.
Later that night had me watching my brother put on his suit jacket in the drawing room from the corner of my eye. I was on the sofa, trying to edit my presentation for tomorrow's student council meeting on my laptop and trying to make myself inconspicuous as possible.
Haru was going to the charity dinner at the Cameron's. I initially expected I was going to be made to go but oddly enough, Haru told me not to. I thought he'd want me to, seeing as it was the Camerons' party but he didn't tell me nor ordered me to go. It still made me wonder why. The reason was most definitely not because he was letting me off from being in another awkward situation with the Cameron family.
"Can you get my watch for me, Terry?"
My head jerked up from my laptop. Haru was staring at me, his slanted eyes studying me. My chest deflated. It had been a peaceful night between us siblings, a rare occurrence that, and I had expected it to be so. Haru had been unusually quiet all night, as if deep in his thoughts.
"Of course," I murmured, putting down my laptop to the side. Tagging his wristwatch from the table, I approached him and held it out to him.
But instead of taking the watch, he took hold of my wrist. At the sudden movement, I lost hold of the watch and it fell to the carpet with a muffled thud. My face paled and I tried to take a step back. Still studying me, his fingers slackened and I clutched my hand to my chest protectively.
"You're still seeing John."
I sucked in breath and my eyes shot to him.
My heart started to beat faster and I waited for it to happen. I waited for the automatic dutiful sister to arrive, be apologetic and promise to get rid of John in my life.
But that Terry didn't appear.
My fingers didn't shake.
They didn't curl.
They didn't dig into my palms, embed into my skin nor cut me open.
I did not cower.
Instead, in an unusual burst of courage, I straightened my spine, lifted my chin and locked eyes with him.
"Yes, I am," I answered, my voice soft but steady and firm.
Haru didn't like my answer.
And I didn't like his response to it.
"You will not see him again."
I fought against my conditioning to listen and obey and said, "You can't keep telling me what to do forever."
"I can," he said with a promise. "And I will."
"Then maybe I'll be like Oba," I fired back. "I'll leave the house. Stand on my own two feet. Even if it means getting disowned and not having a family."
He stared at me, likely letting what I said sink in.
Then he said, "Oba meant nothing to the Shimizu clan which was why they let her go and turned their backs on her," he leaned forward and kept right on going, "You are my sister. And you don't mean nothing to me."
I began to laugh bitterly. "Really? Because it sure feels like I don't."
Haru leaned back and stared at me again like I had grown two heads. I was afraid, petrified, but I knew it was now or never. If I never stood up for myself, when will I ever?
"You disobeyed me," he spoke slowly and I felt his mood shift dangerously at his tone. "I gave you freedom and you disobeyed me."
It was at this point that I was beginning to get scared.
"Did you seriously think that having John by your side will intimidate me, dear sister?" now his voice was filled with derision. "He is but a chess piece I've yet to use before I take over the whole group."
My bravado melted and it came out as a whisper when I said, "He will never let you play him."
He smiled a humorless, condescending smile. "You think I haven't started?"
He was bluffing. I clenched my teeth. He was just bluffing.
He leaned into me and whispered into my ear, "Tell me, dear sister. Have you talked to him about you seeing a psychiatrist? About your appointments?"
I felt my chess compress like a huge weight had settled on it. I stared at him mutely with dawning horror.
"Does he know?" He lifted my hand and ran a thumb over my palm. "Does he know about these hands? What this scars mean?"
"Let me go," I breathed out on a wheeze.
He stared at me for a beat. Then he let me go and stepped back.
"You didn't tell him?" he asked.
"You're going to be late to dinner," I answered instead, looking away from him.
But he was having none of that.
He grabbed my chin and made me look at him. His eyes were flashing with anger when he continued to ask, "Why can't you tell him?"
I parted my lips to speak, "I—."
He didn't even let me begin. He went on, "Are you afraid he won't accept you? Are you afraid he'd leave you again? Or are you afraid that he'd think you're crazy, just like our dear beloved mother?"
His tone was almost mocking when he talked about our mother. But I didn't dwell on that thought, I was terrified to the core as questions raced my head.
Was this how he was going to make me obey this time?
Threaten me about spilling to John all of our family's dark secrets?
The fear brimmed over.
John couldn't know.
God, he couldn't know.
"Are - Are you going to tell hi
m?" I cringed at my question.
He laughed, bitterly I noticed, or was it just my imagination? Then he let my chin go. He retreated, his body stiff with so much anger, his head shaking. For a few tense moments, I watched with growing alarm as his face revealed pain and devastation.
What was in his face sliced deep through me so deep I whispered an uncertain, "Oniisan?"
Then suddenly, gone was the pain, the anger, the wintry demeanor. In his eyes, there was nothing. Not one ounce of emotion left.
"I've talked to your psychiatrist," he stated.
My fingers curled so tight, my hands shook, and his eyes fell to them.
"You're not telling him everything."
I almost burst out in laughter again. What was there to tell when we both know who's at fault?
Haru turned on his heels and walked to the door. Kabakura was outside waiting for him and the man bowed to him.
"Fix yourself, Terry," he murmured as Kabakura stepped out of his way. "That's one order you shouldn't disobey."
His eyes went to me and before he went out the door, he said the following words that shook me whole.
"If not, I'll have you sent back to Japan."
Falling.
That was what I was feeling at that moment.
Falling into a bottomless pit that I knew I couldn't climb out of.
Then, as if the fates had it completely out for me, I received a text message from John.
Omy to the damn charity dinner. Don't sleep too late, babe. Love you.
**Oba - Aunt
Chapter 36
If he said a fucking word, he was going to deck him, John thought angrily as he sat down next to his dinner partner.
John had shown up at the Cameron's home just as the guests were sitting down to dinner. The honor of being seated at the head table in their grand ballroom was one that he would have gladly forgone because as luck would have it, the only chair left was next to Haru fucking Evans.
"Good evening, John," Haru murmured cordially.
Good evening, his ass.
If his evening had started sour, what with his mother and father hissing instructions when he entered the house and sending him telling looks across the table to behave, it was now entirely ruined by the asshole beside him. Not only that, Ethan was sitting in front of him and by God, if the teacher didn't stop smirking, John vowed to leap across the table and wipe that smirk off with his fist.
The official hosts of the charity fund raising dinner, Mona and Patrick Cameron were also at the table with him. The other three couples were John's mother and father, Doctor Noah Schuyler and his wife Diana, Rohan's stepdad and mother, and an old couple named Mitchells, who appeared to be close friends of Patrick's.
"Is the food to your taste, John?" Ethan asked him, still smirking.
John's answer was a kick to his shin under the table and Ethan finally stopped smirking.
"It's very delicious," John spoke cheerfully to a beaming mother, who was completely oblivious to her son's pain. "The catering is perfect as always, Mona."
"Thank you, John," Mona told him. "It's been awhile since we had you on this table. I'm so happy you could come."
Patrick raised a glass to him, "You can't fault the boy, dear. When I was his age, I'd rather not come to this boring, stifling parties at all."
"Oh, hush, dear. Don't give him any ideas."
"Where's Terry, Haru?" Ethan asked, giving John a glower. "She couldn't come?"
Haru picked up his fork. "She's at home, studying. It's too soon to miss my sister, don't you think Ethan? After all, you had dinner with her yesterday."
This time, it was John giving Ethan a glower.
Ethan chuckled nervously. "I was helping her with her college applications," he informed everyone who had given him their rapt attention. Apparently, the assumption that Ethan and Terry was going to get married in the future was set in stone already, although how the other people around the table knew, John didn't know.
"You have to be careful, Ethan," John gritted out but giving him a smile for the benefit of the many people watching them. "It might reach the school's gossipy ears, that a teacher is having a relationship with his minor student.
"What he means is that you have to be sensible, Ethan," His father immediately supplied. But John didn't miss the bite in his tone. "He doesn't want your reputations sullied by gossip. You know high school kids. They can be cruel."
"That's right," his mother agreed after giving John another severe look. "My son is only looking out for his teacher and schoolmate. So please forgive his insightful yet thoughtless remark."
"There's nothing to forgive," Patrick chuckled. "When I was also his age, I too say what's on my mind. Let kids be kids."
Mona sighed. "It's a wonder I married him," she said to John's mother. "If anyone's being thoughtless at this table, it is him."
The conversation went on around John but John didn't bother participating, only nodding and smiling briefly whenever the conversation turned to him. And rather than waste the evening listening to idle gossip and business talk, he used the time as he ate thinking about what time he could get away from this boring affair without insulting the hosts and angering his parents. Then he turned his thoughts to problems he needed to actually solve.
By the time the first course was being cleared away, John had mentally outlined his strategy to make Leon stop his plans to break up with Sophia.
During dessert, while Haru and Ethan amused their table companions with college anecdotes, John silently mapped out his own strategy to make the bastard beside him acknowledge his relationship with Terry.
When there was a lull in the conversation, John decided it was time for a small break. Excusing himself to everybody, he went out the dimly lit balcony of the ballroom which he found was gladly deserted and took a deep breath. Being around his parents and these superficial people was draining and he briefly wondered how the hell he managed when he was a kid.
But then, his short respite was cut even shorter when a voice sounded from the balcony doors.
"Running away, John?"
Alright, why wasn't he surprised the bastard followed him?
Laughing quietly, John turned to Haru. "You wish, Haru."
Haru closed the doors and began to move to the balustrade. "You know, I distantly recall you calling me Oniichan when we were younger."
Fucking hell, how badly he wanted to tear this fucker apart.
John tried to smooth his features into a semblance of polite confusion rather than the murderous intent he was having right there and then.
"I don't remember," he replied with a shake of his head.
"You don't? Funny, I think it was over chess when that first happened. You must have heard Terry calling me the honorific so you went ahead to copy her."
"Well, it must have been before I knew what you really were."
Haru's eyes narrowed. "And what am I, John?"
"An asshole among other things."
The stern line of Haru's mouth relaxed into a lazy smile. It startled John into silence. He'd rarely seen him smile, not this genuinely, not this casual.
"You have one thing still in common with my sister, then." Haru leaned his arms on the cool white stone. He looked at the night sky and went on, "She thinks the same way."
"And do you really blame her?" John said angrily.
"No. But then this is the way of our world, John. You won't survive if you're weak. Haven't I taught you that? Haven't your parents taught you that?"
John had enough of this game. He didn't care if Haru would see this as running away again but if he had to suffer another second in his presence, John might 'accidentally' push Haru off the balcony.
"What do you think of my sister?" Haru suddenly asked when John opened the door.
Letting go of the door, John turned to him. "Why do you want to know?"
Haru straightened and took out his cell phone. "Because I'm sending her back to Japan," he muttered as he checked his pho
ne.
John felt a chill slide through him. Then his alarm turned to anger after a few seconds.
"You're what?" he spat.
