by Lannah Smith
John could barely stop himself from crying when he saw his best friend's face. He'd tried to be brave for him, tried to make him smile but John knew that he'd fail. Nothing will ever bring the light back to Leon. After everything, his best friend won't ever be the same.
Feeling the tears choking him, he ran out of the room. His father and maid tried to catch him but he was too fast. He ran through the halls, ran down the stairs and out the hospital grounds.
Flashes of Leon's face appeared and his mind and it was just too much.
This pain that had his mind, his heart and gut in its grip was so tight, it was killing him, making it hard to breathe.
His breathing became shallower and shallower and he stopped to catch his breath. Gasping, crouched down, clenched hands trembling, eyes tearing up. Looking around through his tears, he found himself in the hospital park. His gaze moving around, he tried to calm himself down, trying to think of anything but his best friend's pain because Leon didn't need this. Leon needed him to be strong.
Then John found him.
Leon's father.
Nick.
He was standing near a tree beside the small lagoon. John couldn't see his face, he had his back to him, and he stared at him with angry, wet eyes.
John hated him.
Hated him so, so much.
If he hadn't left, Maria would still be alive.
If he hadn't left, Leon would still have a family.
If it weren't for him, Leon wouldn't be...
John's head jerked back, his furious thoughts cut off abruptly when Leon's father turned and threw a fist at the trunk of the tree.
Nick did it again.
And again. And again.
Blood dripped from his knuckles, the skin slicing open from the force, but he continued to punch the tree.
Then Nick started to bellow.
Bellowing and weeping in an anguished tone.
The sight and sound further tormented John's mind. His knees hitting the grass, he started to cry for his best friend.
And for a father who had lost his wife and also, his son's love.
"Would it kill you to come to the dinner tonight, John?"
John watched over the bed as Leon folding his clothes on the bed. He felt a muscle jump in his cheek as he held the phone to his ear, thinking yes. It would kill him to go to the charity dinner knowing that Haru Evans would be there.
Or more to the point, it would drive him to murder if he had to breathe both his mother's and Haru's air.
"I can't come to the charity dinner, Mother," John said into the phone. "I'm busy."
Leon's eyes sliced to him, his eyebrow raised. John was after all idling on a chair while Leon folded. John gave his best friend his middle finger.
"But the Gage boy is leaving the hospital today," his mother replied. "There's no more reason for you not to come."
He frowned. "Who told you he was leaving?"
"Your father met with Nick Gage last night to talk about some business."
Hell. He didn't know his father was back in the city.
"And your father was very vocal about wanting you to go the dinner."
"Why would he want me to go?" John asked in surprise.
"Well, just like what Nick wants, he also wants his son back. He wants your affections back, John."
John's face hardened. "He just wants to parade me around like a prized horse just like you, Mother. And, unlike Nick, he has done nothing to make me warm up to him again."
Her voice was severely disappointed when she replied, "You know your father is a busy man." Like that was a fucking excuse. "But he's willing to heal this breach between the two of you," she went on. "The dinner tonight will be just the starting point of it."
Like hell it was. After John's performance in the Evans' party last year, he was sure his father simply wants a repeat of it. Most of his business partners and associates were going to be at the dinner tonight after all.
And besides, he'd rather spend the night with Terry. If she was attending, then he wouldn't have thought twice about it. But she wasn't. So there was no way he'd go.
"I'll think about it," John muttered into the phone. "Goodbye, Mother."
He heard his mother sigh, then, "Please don't let your father down."
John put down his phone to his lap as soon as the line went dead. Determined to forget the conversation, he leaned back, caught Leon's eyes and struck a conversation with him.
"What time's Sophia coming?" he asked him.
Leon stilled and slid his gaze to him. But what he didn't do was answer him.
John's eyes narrowed.
"What time are you leaving?" he went on asking.
"As soon as Dad comes back," Leon mumbled in reply.
"Does Sophia know?"
His best friend didn't answer him again. Instead, he walked into the toilet and slammed the door close. John rubbed his head in frustration.
What the hell? What the hell?
Was he seriously doing this?
That was fucking it. John was going to kill him. After all, this is the freaking hospital. He'd get sewn up in three minutes and be back in his life again. And John hoped the experience will give him a lesson or two.
When John got the call from Sophia a week ago and heard Leon was in the hospital again, he'd first dreaded seeing him. It was still fresh in his mind, the first time he'd seen Leon on a hospital bed, swathed with bandages, his eyes dead. He'd gone in the morning with Sophia anyway and was able to stay the whole day without breaking apart.
Terry, she helped him keep himself whole. John had shared her everything, left nothing a secret. And when they talked about what was best for Leon, they came to an agreement that John should stay with him whenever he could so he could make sure his best friend wouldn't do anything stupid.
And Leon, he really was planning to do something stupid. He was planning to break up with Sophia. Other than that, he was checked out and John got the impression that he only checked further whenever Sophia visited him.
Selfish. He was fucking selfish. John knew where Leon was coming from but he couldn't understand him. Happiness and a happy future were already pushing its way, no shoving themselves inside Leon's life but Leon seemed to not want to let them in. John was happy he was finally starting to move on for real this time. He was ecstatic when he said he was giving his father a chance to be one and that he was going back to therapy and counseling. His happiness dimmed when he learned Leon was moving with his father to Boston but he said he wasn't cutting ties, that they'd always have each other.
His happiness instantly died a painful death when he learned Leon wasn't including Sophia in this future, in his process of healing.
Maybe John was selfish too, asking him of this. A part of him wanted this done so he could be with Terry. But wasn't Sophia the trigger of all of this? Wasn't Sophia coming to his life started his change, his way of thinking, his road to happiness?
And he was pushing Sophia away, like she'd done her purpose, like she'd outed her usefulness.
He was in love with her. She was in love with him.
Doesn't he see how damn lucky he was?
John's cell phone rang again. It was Sophia calling. And the urge to beat his best friend up to a bloody pulp again grew stronger. Hell, John would have to tell Sophia that her ridiculous boyfriend hadn't told her he was already leaving this morning, knowing it was going to hurt her. She had wanted to be here.
With a heavy heart, John answered her call. Then, when she asked for Leon, he walked over to the toilet and pushed the door open without knocking. Leon glared at him. He'd been washing his hands.
"Hey, selfish bastard. A call for you," John told him, stretching out his arm to hand him the phone.
Leon's eyes narrowed further. "Who is it?"
"My mother. Who the hell do you think it is?"
"I didn't want to talk to her," Leon muttered under his breath as he took the phone from him and John snorted. Like he'd pity him.
John walked out the toilet and sat on the sofa. He looked at the bags and clothes on the bed and briefly considered messing things up so Sophia might have time to get her ass over here. But then, Leon came out of the toilet and stomped towards him.
"Call me a selfish bastard one last time and I'll kick your ass," Leon growled as he threw the phone back to John.
"But you are a selfish bastard," John replied with a shrug, then proceeded to duck when a bottle of water came flying to his head.
Leon growled when he saw he missed.
"She made you cake, you know," John grumbled as he stood. "I could have eaten a piece by now. You suck."
Leon ignored him and started putting his clothes inside his bag. John watched him from the end of the bed, hip to it, arms crossed, still seething. And that was how Nick found them when he came inside the room.
"Fighting?" the old man asked, smirking at the two of them.
"No, sir," John replied immediately as he straightened. He couldn't look Nick in the eye, afraid Leon would find out that he had been communicating with Nick without his knowledge.
Also, John was feeling awkward around him. He'd seen him cry outside Leon's hospital door after all while James tried to comfort him as best as he could. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he'd been out getting coffee from the hospital vending machines when he heard their conversation in the hallway and hid.
"For the last time, Nick, this isn't your fault," James was telling Nick.
"I left my wife and son because I believe the lies my brother told me," Nick clipped. "I didn't believe Maria when she said she never betrayed me, that Leon was my son. Then I let her die, let Leon watch her die, let Leon into the hands of my fucking brother. Can you still tell me now that all of that wasn't my damn fault?"
John pulled in a breath as he listened, gripping the cans tight.
"But you're trying to be a better father now," James tried another tactic.
Nick laughed hollowly. "Yeah? Did Leon say that?"
"No, but-"
"Him being in the hospital for the fucking umpteenth time, do you think that proved I'm a good father or a father for that matter?"
"Nick—."
"I keep hurting him!" Nick shouted. "I keep hurting the only family I have left!"
"You made mistakes, Nick," James said in an urgent, placating tone. "Mistakes that cost you so, so much. But that doesn't mean it's entirely your fault. Your brother fed you lies. Your brother fucked you up growing up because he was insecure, envious and malicious. How many times did you tell me how that motherfucker kept trying to harm you, almost to the point of killing you?"
"But I still shouldn't have believed him."
"Yes. You shouldn't have. But you have to stop beating yourself over it. It may take a long time but eventually, Leon would give you his forgiveness. He'll see how you regretted everything you've done. He'll see how much you still feel Maria's loss."
When Nick started to cry, John knew it was time to leave. He didn't want to intrude on the two friends' conversation any further. And he knew that if either of them found out he'd been eavesdropping, there was going to be hell to pay.
"I'm ready," Leon said to his father, breaking into John's thoughts.
Nick went to grab Leon's bag on the bed. Then the crazy old man purposely brushed his shoulder against John's as he passed by him.
Fucking hell, John thought. The bastard was goading him, knowing exactly what John didn't want Leon to know. Nick was obviously in very high spirits since Leon had forgiven him.
"Let's go?" Nick said by the door and Leon nodded.
John had every intention of coming home with them. He followed both father and son to the parking lot, helping bring Leon's bag.
"Are you coming home with us, John?" Nick asked him as he tossed the bags at the trunk of his car.
John nodded. "Yes, sir."
"But don't you have a charity dinner to attend tonight with your parents?" Leon reminded him.
Really, Leon?
"No," John grumbled, glowering at his best friend. "It's boring."
John saw Leon's lips twitch. The selfish bastard was enjoying this. "You should go."
"I don't want to."
"You should go." This time, it was Leon's father who said it. "Your parents want you there."
John averted his gaze. "I don't give a fuck," he mumbled.
Nick closed the trunk and walked towards the driver's seat. He crossed his arms and leaned his side against the door. Then he gave John a long stare.
"Go, John," Nick said and John's eyes went back to him. He didn't miss the meaningful glance Nick sent Leon as he went on speaking, "You may not like your parents but you are still their only heir. You have responsibilities. I know you love the company, maybe as much as they do but rebelling and embarrassing them will never benefit you in the long run. And besides, you need to establish connections as early as now so you'll know who to weed out when you inherit everything."
Confused, John stared at him for a moment. Nick sent another glance at Leon, even jerked his head to him and John finally understood. Nick wanted to be alone with Leon for fuck knows what. In short, he had to scram.
"Fine. I'll go," John grudgingly agreed.
"Good." Nick winked at him before he opened the door and folded in. "Get in, Leon," he said before closing the door.
Leon, who missed the entire exchange, patted John's shoulder. "See you."
"Whatever," John muttered dejectedly. "You still suck."
The both of them did, stupid father and son.
The silver ring on my finger glinted in the sun as I laid it on the railing of the rooftop. A cool breeze tossed my hair about and ruffled the hem of my skirt. Shivering slightly, I turned to look at Hannah, who was gawking at everything. It was her first time on the rooftop. And considering this was one of the infamous bullies' hangouts, it excited her. I wouldn't doubt that by tomorrow, she'd be bragging about it to anyone who would listen.
"Oh, my God," Hannah whispered, leaning toward me. "Do they beat up people here too?"
"See that?" I pointed at the railing opposite us. "See those stains? I'm thinking blood," I lied, bold, bald-faced and without hesitation.
Hannah's lips curled in disgust. "I don't believe you."
"When have I ever lied to you, Hannah?"
"It's not blood, right Sophia?" I watched Hannah turn to Sophia, who was sitting on the cement, reading a book.
Sophia lifted her head and blinked at us. "What?"
"Your boyfriend doesn't beat up people up here right?"
At that, the expression on Sophia's face faltered. I wanted to say that I only nudged Hannah lightly on the shoulder but I'd miscalculated the strength and she yelped as she jumped back, rubbing her shoulder. Glaring at her for being so insensitive, I sat down next to Sophia, peeking at the phone on her lap.
"He hasn't called?" I asked her quietly.
Sophia bit her lip. Then she whispered, "No."
"He must be resting at home."
She drew in breath but she didn't respond. I could see it as plain as day on her face. She was warring with herself, thinking about whether to tell us or not about Leon growing further and further away from her.
I warred with myself against telling her that I knew. I knew everything that was going on. But I resolved against telling her because it wouldn't make it easy for her.
I thought about how relieved I was to see her come back to school after being absent for three straight days. She'd been at the hospital during that time along with John. But that relief was short-lived. She looked pale, hauntingly pale when she came into the classroom and there was tightness around her eyes.
I immediately mended things with Sophia during lunch. If John had needed me to get through that night, Sophia needed her friends too. I was also guilty of making her feel like crap and to atone myself, I didn't leave her alone. Naturally, she let me. It wasn't because she needed people to comfort her, it was because she never really hate
d me for the things I've said. It was probably because she wasn't really capable to hate on anybody, and that only made me feel so much worse for all the deceit and the pain I caused her.
"It was just rust, Terry," Hannah grumbled, taking me from my thoughts as she sat gingerly beside me. "And those guys should consider putting something to sit up here. It's dirty."
