Saving Grace

by H D Coulter

  BETH AND BEA MADE THEIR way upstairs whilst Sarah finished the canapés, and laid out each of the tiny iced cakes prettily before taking them up. Bea and Beth had each ordered a special gown from Miss Julie’s for the night’s events. Laid out on the marital bed was a deep crimson dress. The silk fabric shimmered under the candlelight. Before Joshua made his way upstairs to get ready, Bea collected her handmade gifts from her hiding spot and placed them on the vanity unit next to their vacant velvet pouches. She had spent the winter evenings creating each one. For Sarah, a delicate piece of lace, as a collar for a dress, composed of tiny rosebuds and leaves. For Beth, another piece of lace filled with her favourite wildflowers. For Grace, a new Christmas dress made from a smoky red velvet, and for Joshua, she had found a silversmith and ordered a pair of cufflinks engraved with his initials. She wrapped each one carefully and wrote a brief message on each of their cards. As she slipped out of her simple blue dress and climbed into the pool of crimson silk, the door open as she was trying to fasten the back of the dress.

  “Would you mind?”

  She could smell his scent, that of smoke and musk, as he stood behind her, his fingers stroking down her neck and between her shoulder blades.

  “We have an hour before people arrive... I could think of something else to do first?” He moved her hair out of the way and kissed her neck, wrapping his arms around her, stroking her body. She felt herself awaken between her legs at his touch, her pulsing breath willing her to give in to his request. He spun her round and kissed her passionately, sending a shiver across her body. Reluctantly, she broke away.

  “After the party, I am all yours, but right now there is too much to do.” Her lips hovered over his as she saw the disappointment on his face.

  “The party won’t last long in that case.” He grinned at her and gave her a quick kiss before letting go.

  “Would you mind?” Bea gestured to the back of her now crumpled dress.

  Joshua chuckled as he hooked the seams together and sealed it with a kiss on her shoulders.

  “Thank you.” She turned round, placed her hands on his cheeks, and kissed him. It was slow and deep, but before he could pull his body against hers again, she let go.

  “Not fair! And this poor dress, how am I...” She laughed at his over acting of frustration, before letting out a chuckle himself.

  There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Bea called out between giggles.

  “Someone wanted to say goodnight before her bath.” Sarah came in with Grace, her arms outstretched for Joshua.

  He strode over to Sarah, smiled, and took Grace from her arms.

  “Sweet dreams, my darling.” He cradled her as she reached out her little hand for his face.

  “Bea, you look the equal if not better than any lady here tonight.”

  “Thank you, Sarah.”

  “You do look beautiful, wife,” Joshua added with a twinkle in his eye.

  Bea grinned at Joshua before focusing her attention on Grace. “Goodnight, my sweetheart. Tomorrow will be your first Christmas.” Bea stroked Grace’s head and placed a kiss on her forehead, pausing a moment, breathing in her scent.

  She stepped back as Joshua handed his daughter back to Sarah whilst Bea made her way over to the dresser and pulled out a large velvet pouch.

  He waited until he heard the bedroom door close. “Now, where were we?” murmured Joshua, standing close behind her, about to put his arms around her waist.

  “I meant what I said, after the party.” She gave him a quick kiss and slid out of his grasp, making her way to the door as a disappointed moan issued behind her.

  “CAN I COME IN?” BEA called out behind Beth’s door.

  “Yes, I’m decent.”

  She peered around the door and saw Beth standing there in her new floral dress of dark blues, reds, and fern greens. “You look beautiful.” Her sister had put hair up in a simple, elegant bun with a plait around the edge, leaving her long neck bare.

  “Would you like me to do your hair?”

  “If you have time, that would be lovely, but that is not why I am here. I would like to give you one of your Christmas presents early.”

  She held out the large velvet pouch in her hand, offering it to Beth. “Merry Christmas, my lovely.”

  Beth placed it on her vanity unit and pulled at the blue ribbon, revealing a delicate silver rope chain, and a pendant of swirling strands of silver, mimicking sea-waves, with a few pearls, and a single sand-diamond placed at the bottom. She picked up the necklace and held it up against the candlelight. “Bea... I don’t know what to say.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “I... I love it, but you didn’t need to. I have seen nothing like it.”

  “May I?” Bea gestured to put the necklace on. Beth nodded. The pendant hung perfectly above the neckline of the dress. “A reminder of home.”

  Beth gazed in the mirror and watched how it sparkled and glimmered in the candlelight. “It is too much.”

  “I did, I could, and I wanted to.”

  Beth pulled Bea in for a hug. “Thank you.” The emotions in her voice said it all. “Now, let’s see what we can do with that hair.” She blushed, fighting against the happy tears.

  THE DINING TABLE HAD a fresh machine-made lace tablecloth, a large floral centre piece, and arrangements of large and small plates piled high with Sarah’s handcrafted delights. They had all covered the two rooms in deep reds, purples, evergreen, and honey-scented candles.

  “You have outdone yourself my darling; thank you for all this.” Joshua stood beside her in a new suit. His cream and gold waist coat stood out smartly against the light grey jacket and trousers. He was handsome and ready to greet his guests. “I would kiss you, but I fear I wouldn’t be able to stop - and then where would we be?” He gave her the same knowing grin as before, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, his thumb skimming over her bare skin.

  Then the doorbell rang out, and Joshua removed his arm and made his way to the door. Bea took a deep breath and readied her nerves.

  “George?”

  “I came early, sir, to see if you needed any help – what a lovely home you have.”

  Joshua gestured to take his coat, placed it on a hanger and paused. “Thank you George. Actually, you can – would you help greet the guests and hang up their coats? But first, let me get you a drink, and introduce you to my wife.”

  “Lovely to meet you, Mrs Mason, you have a splendid home here.”

  “It’s good to finally meet you too, George. I have heard a lot about you.”

  “Really?” A mixture of pride followed by worry spread across his face at the thought of Joshua talking about him in a personal context.

  “Get that down you.” Joshua offered him a small glass of whiskey and proffered a glass of red wine to Bea.

  “Thank you. The snow is coming down heavily now. I could certainly do with the warmth.” George took a sip, and the doorbell rang out again. He glanced at Joshua and nodded, placing down the glass and making his way down the hall.

  “Good evening, sir and madam, may I take your coats?”

  The room was filled with no more than twenty people; a comfortable number, and there were only a handful of cards wishing them kind regards and regrets. The Goldstein’s arrived late and left early, making a cursory appearance so as not to snub Joshua. He and Mr Goldstein spent his time huddled in a corner, talking about business, whilst George ran around bringing drinks, occasionally assisted by Beth. Mrs Goldstein made pleasant conversation with Bea, remarking on the beauty of the rooms and giving an eloquent Christmas greeting before joining her usual circle. Bea hovered around the room making small talk, noting happily that Beth seemed to be far more at ease with the ladies than she. Filtering from one group to another, she set everyone at ease, taking a moment now and then to check on Bea. Once the Goldstein’s left, the company relaxed a little more but as the clock chimed ten; the couples left. It was at that point that Bea noticed Beth and George speaking
quietly together in a corner. Her sister was smiling brightly, whilst George was blushing, and unable to meet her eyes.

  “I think that’s everyone gone. It was a good night!” remarked Joshua heartily, tapping his cigarette in to the dying fire.

  “Look - what do you think?” Bea pointed over to Beth and George.

  “George is an excellent fellow, I suppose... though I had thought she might... well... yes, yes. Why not?”

  “Not everyone can be as lucky as me, Joshua.” She turned round and gave him a quick kiss.

  “The party is over, so, according to your previous statement, you’re all mine now?” She gently stroked his hand down her cheek to her shoulders.

  “You two head off. I’ll tidy up,” Beth interjected from across the room.

  “I’ll help, if you don’t mind?” George blurted out, glancing at Beth.

  Bea smiled at Beth. “Thank you, the two of you.”

  “Very good of you, George - and you have a merry Christmas.” Joshua held out his hand for George to shake.

  “You too Sir. And Mrs Mason, it has been a lovely evening.”

  “Merry Christmas George,” smiled Bea, as she linked arms with Joshua’s as he led her towards the stairs.

  THE FOLLOWING DAY WAS just as Bea had imagined. Sarah made everyone a luxurious breakfast before they went off to their two different churches, after which they gathered around the fire and exchanged gifts. Joshua presented Bea with a simple pearl necklace as she handed him the silver cufflinks.

  “Oh, how wonderful Bea, thank you.”

  Bea then handed out her two gifts to Sarah and Beth; Grace was already wearing hers.

  “You made this for me?” Sarah held the delicate lace against the cornflower blue dress Bea had bought her back before the gala. “Thank you.”

  “She has a gift, our Bea. Thank you, sister.” Beth held out her hands to Bea and Sarah, and all three women linked their hands together.

  Grace banged her rattle happily on the ground as Joshua smiled before handing out more of his own gifts. Grace got a set of wooden blocks and a wooden duck on wheels. Beth gave Sarah an enamel brooch, and in return Sarah handed each of the others knitted mittens, scarfs and a dress for Grace.

  Joshua pulled Bea into his arms.

  “I can’t believe how happy I am right now. This is what we had dreamt of.” She whispered, gazing into his blue eyes.

  He paused, brushing a hair from her face. “I love you more than I thought I ever could.”

  “I love you too. Merry Christmas.”

  Chapter 20

  January 1833 Beacon Hill.

  ONE YEAR PASSED SMOOTHLY and gladly into another without additional ceremony. Joshua had thought it would be a good idea to have Grace’s christening on the first Sunday in January; a sign of change and looking forward. So, on the Saturday, they filled the church with white flowers, and prepared Grace’s ivory gown with its four layers of machine and handmade lace. The invitations had gone out in late December; if the occasion had taken place in Ulverston, the church would have been packed, but here it would be ten close acquaintances at the most. She had finally convinced Sarah to attend the ceremony, to sit with the family at the front. Joshua didn’t argue. He knew how it might look to other people. And yet, she felt like she was becoming a member of the family and how invaluable she had been in bringing Grace into the world safely. They also invited George, with a seat in the second row. He had made a few more appearances at the house over Christmas and the New Year, and Bea suspected it wasn’t merely to run errands for Joshua.

  The snow was at least a foot-deep outside, and in constant fall; she had seen nothing like it before. With the sea mist and the salty air, Ulverston had experienced some snow, but not like this. Bea made the final preparation while Beth and Sarah prepared the sitting room, in case anyone came back for a cup of tea and cake after the ceremony. Bea wore her dark green wool dress, and wrapped Grace up in as many blankets as she could find, with Sarah’s knitted hat on top. There was a chill in the air that buried deep inside your bones and a cold sensation Bea couldn’t shake no matter how many blankets placed around her in the carriage.

  They made the brief journey to the church and stood in line with all the others filing in. The pews were filled with familiar faces, all gazing at Bea cradling their newest member. A few expressions changed at the sight of Sarah standing directly behind Bea. There were a handful of well-to-do black families who attended the church, so Sarah’s was not the only one in a sea of white faces. Even so, several individuals stared at her with suspicion. George filed in behind, taking a seat next to Joshua, and behind him strode Mr Winston. He walked into the church without fear, the equal of all those who stood under its roof. Once the church was full, the elderly vicar stood forward and sighted the first half of the service. Bea, waiting for her signal to step forward, could not focus on the sermon, and glanced around the grand building. It was newer than it looked, built for the growing population of Beacon Hill, styled on older churches back in England. She wrapped the shawl tighter around her shoulders.

  “Today we welcome a new member into our flock. Will the parents and godparents of Miss Grace Mildred Mason step forward, please?”

  Bea took Grace from Beth and accompanied Joshua to the baptismal font at the front of the building as she and George stood to one side, ready for their cue.

  “Dearly beloved, forasmuch as all men are conceived and born in sin, and that our saviour Christ saith, none can enter into the kingdom of God, except he be regenerate and born anew of water and of the Holy Ghost.

  Let us pray,

  Almighty and everlasting God: by the Baptism of thy well-beloved Son Jesus Christ, in the river Jordon, thou didst sanctify water to the mystical washing away of sin. We beseech thee, in the name of thine infinite mercies, that thou wilt mercifully look upon this child, to wash her, and sanctify her with the Holy Ghost; that she, being delivered from thy wrath, may be received into the ark of Christ’s church. People of God, will you welcome this child, and uphold her and her family in their new life in Christ?”

  “With the help of God, we will.” The church spoke as one.

  “Who brings this child before God?” Announced the vicar.

  All four took a step closer towards the font. Whilst at the back of the congregation, Bea heard a familiar sound. Hesitantly, she glanced round and saw the few men standing at the back step aside. Her heart stopped, and her breath caught in her chest. She had feared this moment for so long, and now it had finally come. He was here. Victor Hanley’s eyes set on her, and taking another step forward, made it clear he was here to claim what was his.

  “Bea.” Joshua’s voice struggled to break through the fog that was forming inside her head. Her ears felt as though they were filled with sand, and her chest was too tight to speak.

  She looked over at the vicar, who had his arms stretched out for Grace. She couldn’t let her go. Grace was hers, all hers, and Bea had to protect her. Seeing the hesitation on the mother’s face, the vicar instead came round to her.

  “Christ claims you as his own. Receive the sign of the cross.” The vicar dipped his finger in a small bowl of holy oil and made the sign of the cross on Grace’s forehead. He gestured for Bea to come closer to the font as he lifted the silver bowl toward the water.

  “Almighty everliving God, whose most dearly beloved Son Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of our sins...”

  She has no sin, she is innocent – she is pure – she is loved – she is mine, not his, not his...

  She felt his stare bury into her, challenging her to make a move. Not here, not now.

  “We beseech thee, the supplications of thy congregation; sanctify this water to the mystical washing away of sin; and grant that this child, now to be baptised therein, may receive the fullness of thy grace, and ever remain in the number of thy faithful and elect children; through Jesus Christ our lord. Amen.” Grace made little moaning noises as he trickled the water over her head. “I bapt
ise you in the name of the Father, and the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

  “Amen.”

  Once more, she shifted her gaze slowly to the back of the church. Had it all been a false vision? But standing in broad daylight, Hanley was standing there for all to see, waiting.

  Sarah had seen the colour drain entirely from Bea’s face and followed her gaze back into the crowd. She tried to shift in her seat to get a better look, but the angle she was sitting at prevented her from locating what was frightening Bea, though her terror became more and more unmistakable, her cheeks the same colour as Grace’s dress.

  Standing next to George, Beth too noticed how distracted Bea was, continually shifting her gaze to the back of the church. Then she saw him and understood the horror. Why her sister looked like death, as though she should be lying in a coffin instead of baptising her child. Hanley looked different from the last time she had seen him. But there was no mistaking the eyes, the stance, or the darkness, and now he was back.

  The vicar had continued without the three women noticing. “Let us give thanks unto almighty God for these benefits, and with one accord make our prayers unto him, that this child may lead the rest of her life according to this beginning.”

  The vicar made the gesture for the congregation to bow or kneel in prayer.

  “What’s wrong? Bea?” Joshua had turned to her with a smile, but started at the fear on her face.

  “Our father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, they kingdom come, thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.”