Mandy winked at me and I grinned. Xander obviously didn’t know my history, but it was nice to know he was supportive of us.
Aidan nuzzled against my neck and kissed below my ear. “I think it’s a great idea. Prevention is much better than… after. I’d do anything to take that pain away from someone I cared for.”
My entire body heated, in a sweet and wonderful way. It felt good to hear him say he cared, even though I could feel it in every kiss, every touch.
“I feel like I’m missing something here,” Xander mused, looking between the three of us.
Fear gripped me, but Mandy just laughed. “You’re just feeling left out because Aidan is kissing Claire and we’re just sitting here.”
We laughed as Xander leaned in to press his lips to Mandy’s. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kept their kiss going. Aidan turned back to me, ignoring them, and asked, “Where would you go first?”
His thumb was rubbing my thigh, distracting me from everything. It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Then I remembered, travel.
“Grand Canyon. I’ve always wanted to go there. My parents went there on their honeymoon and talked about how beautiful it was. They want to go back once my dad retires. It just sounds like such a cool place to visit.”
I’d grown up flipping through my parents’ old photo albums. Between their wedding album and all the pictures they’d taken on their honeymoon I’d spend hours flipping back through the first few weeks of their marriage. My mom got pregnant with my sister on that trip, something I found incredibly romantic, and a little gross. I mean really, who wants to think about their parents having sex.
My mom told Rebecca and I all about their honeymoon, about camping out in Grand Canyon National Park and staying in nearby Flagstaff. When they go back they aren’t planning to camp, but do want to see the Grand Canyon again. I’ve always thought touring that area would be fun, to see the place where my parents were so happy and created life for the first time.
“If I was going to travel I’d go to Hawaii. It seems like a fun place to party. I figure it would be hard to be in Hawaii and feel like there was anything wrong with your life,” Xander said, finally breaking away from Mandy and rejoining the conversation.
“I went there with my family when I was in high school. My dad got a big bonus for some reason and my mom had always wanted to go there. It was pretty cool. Of course being a high school kid on vacation with your parents isn’t all that great, but I found some people to hang out with,” Aidan told us.
“You mean you met a girl and got into some trouble,” Xander interpreted.
Aidan blushed and glanced at me. “It wasn’t that bad,” he backtracked. His eyes searched mine, trying to figure out if he’d upset me. I smiled at him and shook my head. Yeah, I was a little jealous, I’ll admit it, but it was a long time ago and I couldn’t hold anything he did in high school over him.
“I’d go back there in a heartbeat though. We were on Oahu at Waikiki Beach and the surfing was cool, the beach was amazing, and the people were fun. We went to a luau one night and that was awesome. They certainly know how to put on a party over there.”
“We should all go one day. Take a vacation,” Mandy said cheerfully. She was smiling but I felt panic ease its way up the back of my neck. No, wait, that was just Aidan’s hand. Still, I was starting to panic. Getting on an airplane was still not in my world. Yeah, I know, I worked at an airport. It was ironic, and it sucked.
Mandy finally glanced at my face and realized she said something she shouldn’t have said. She quickly changed the subject and asked Aidan, “What did you think of the house? Didn’t Xander do a great job?”
He latched onto the change quickly, with Xander’s head bouncing back and forth like a bobblehead. No doubt he was confused, but that was okay with me for now. I was pretty certain Mandy would give him the watered down version of my past after we’d left. I just hoped it wouldn’t mean he would treat me with kid gloves after that.
“The house is amazing. And I love the neighborhood. There were a few houses for sale that we drove past. I’m pretty close to having enough for a downpayment and I’m hoping I can get something soon.”
“What sort of house are you looking for?” Xander asked, slipping into construction mode. As an electrician he could rewire a house with his eyes closed and had a crew of guys at the company he worked that were always willing to help out with anything Xander couldn’t do himself. Mandy said he’d seemed anxious to get his hands on something else and that he’d probably be helping Aidan out any chance he got if Aidan bought a house close by.
“Definitely a fenced in yard so Brownie can go out and run without us having to worry about it. I think three or four bedrooms would be good, a nice kitchen and dining area, and a good sized living room. My couch now is pretty small and I’d love to have something I could stretch out on. Claire’s is perfect.”
I sat there and gawked at him, again shocked that he was putting Brownie and me into his house plans. And four bedrooms? Did that mean he wanted that many kids?
It was suddenly hot in there. I jumped up from the chair and bolted for the bathroom, hearing them all calling me but not caring.
I locked the door behind me and stared down my reflection. Aidan was preparing his future for me to be a part of it. He hadn’t even told me he loved me yet and he was talking about moving in together, or at least sounded like it. A part of me felt like a hypocrite because I was picturing my future with him and hadn’t said the words either, but I felt them. I was sure of that.
I splashed cold water on my face, trying to clear my head. Could Aidan be in love with me? Was it possible? I knew he was different than BJ had ever been and I knew being with him was new and exciting and better than I ever imagined it could be with a man. We’d spent the night together a few times and were planning to continue with it. Was it really that big of a stretch that we move in together?
No. It wasn’t just moving in together. It was buying a house together. Or rather Aidan buying a house and me living with him. I would be his roommate, but with extra benefits. Would be expect me to pay half of his mortgage? What if things didn’t work out? What if I hated the house?
All of a sudden it became too much. I was starting to feel like the drama queen I used to be. The first thing I needed to know was if Aidan was in love with me, if he felt the same about me as I did about him. Everything else would come after that.
When I finally came out of the bathroom the kitchen was clean and the three of them were standing at the front door talking. “Aidan said you guys have to get up early for work tomorrow and that you needed to head out. I bet Brownie is wondering where you guys are,” Mandy said. She was staring at me like she was trying to read my mind, like if she looked hard enough she could figure out what was going on.
“Yeah, he’s right. Thanks for dinner you guys. We had a great night. Hopefully we can do it again soon.”
Mandy hugged me tightly while the men shook hands. Aidan promised to call Xander if he was going to look at any houses and Mandy whispered for me to call her whenever I could to explain what was going on. I nodded then turned to hug Xander as Mandy hugged Aidan.
The drive back to my apartment was quiet. Aidan could sense I wasn’t completely okay, but he either wanted to wait until we were inside to talk or he was going to just escape.
I let us in and he said, “Go change or shower or whatever you want. I’ll walk Brownie. You just relax.”
I nodded, not having the energy to argue he was my dog and I needed to be taking care of him. Hell, it didn’t matter. I was tired and it was nice to have someone to help out.
The door closed quietly behind them and I headed for my bedroom. I stripped off my clothes and headed for the shower, hoping the steam would clear my head.
After way longer than I should have taken I turned off the shower and got dressed. Aidan was sitting on the couch with Brownie curled up at his feet. He was watching the Yankees g
ame but he turned it off when I walked in the room. Aidan’s eyes followed me as I crossed the room and finally sat next to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said without preamble. “I guess I shouldn’t be thinking of you guys in my plans, but I can’t help but see you there. It’s not right of me to bring it up in front of your friends though. It obviously upset you and that wasn’t my intention.”
I took a deep breath and tried to find a good way to explain to him what I was thinking, how I was feeling, without it sounding like I was begging him to tell me he loved me. I wanted those three little words to come out when he was ready, not when I forced him to say them.
“I’m not upset that you’re considering Brownie and I. I’m actually pretty touched by that to be honest. I’ve been thinking about the future as a shared thing too. I guess my worry is that we’ve only started dating and we haven’t said… I mean we haven’t talked about all this. It just feels like you’re making plans without me, plans I might be okay with, but we’re not talking through anything that would help me get there easier.”
Aidan studied me for a few minutes, his face unreadable. While he was steady and calm, I was a bundle of nerves. We were sitting side by side but not touching, our hands each on the couch between us but neither of us making the move to hold hands. My heart started a slow slide toward my toes as I wondered if this was the end. If it was over because I was anxious about him planning for a future he hadn’t told me he wanted.
Then he leaned forward and kissed me. Hard. His lips pressed to mine, his tongue seeking passage into my mouth. One hand tangled in my hair and the other pulled me under him. He leaned his body over mine, settling in between my legs, as I tried to grasp what the hell was happening.
My body responded to him immediately. A soft moan escaped my lips when his hand drifted over my breast. He thrust his hips against mine, hitting me in the perfect spot, just like he did the first night we spent on my couch.
Aidan pulled back suddenly and looked down on me. “It was right here, on this couch, where I knew you would be in my life forever. It was right here that I felt your body pressed against mine for the first time and knew no other body would ever feel right, would ever be right. It was right here that I decided I would do anything to make you mine forever. And it’s right here that I’m going to tell you for the first time that I love you. I love you with everything I am and I have for a long time. I’ve known it for a while but I knew you would lose it if I told you. I told Xander earlier that I was going to tell you tonight, but I got wrapped up in the excitement of the house that I didn’t think. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I love you before I told Xander and Mandy that I will be buying a house that you love too.”
Tears slipped free of my eyes and skittered toward the couch beneath me. I’d never had a man say those words to me, except my dad and brother-in-law. I knew I’d never forget hearing him say it.
“How did you know that’s why I was upset?”
“Because I love you. I know you better than you realize, maybe even better than you know yourself sometimes. I saw the panicked look on your face when Xander said something after he gave me a tour and when I mentioned it you flipped out so badly you went running off. I knew it wasn’t because you didn’t like the idea, it was because you worried it was too much too fast. And you telling me we hadn’t said things, well that confirmed it for me.”
“I don’t want you saying it because you feel like you have to-“
“I would never say something to you that wasn’t the truth. I love you, Claire Murphy. With every beat of my heart. And I want to buy a house you love because I want you to share it with me.”
“Thank you. I don’t even know what to say. I… I’m a little blown away. And I want to share the house with you too, but I don’t have the savings that you have. I wouldn’t feel right living off you.”
“We’ll figure all that out later, sweetheart. Right now, I just want to take you to bed and make love to the woman I love. Is that okay?”
I nodded. “Yes, and Aidan?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
His grin told me he was afraid to hope but was as happy as I’d been hearing those words. “Thank you,” he whispered as he nuzzled my ear. Then we moved to the bedroom and showed each other exactly how much those three little words really meant.
Nineteen
Aidan and I spent the next month working like crazy and looking at houses. Oh, and making love any chance we got. He gave notice at his apartment and moved in with Brownie and me while we were looking at houses. My parents and friends thought we were crazy, but it made sense to us to save as much money as we possibly could to buy a house.
I jumped on board with Aidan pretty quickly, loving the idea of a house for us. Brownie would love having a yard and if we ever had kids it would be nice for them too. Of course we were having lots of serious discussions, but our relationship was still fun and easy. I struggled to see where things wouldn’t be easy with Aidan.
His realtor called while we were at work one Thursday and asked if we could meet that afternoon to look at a house. It had just gone on the market and she was pretty sure it was what we were looking for. Aidan agreed and we stopped by the apartment to let Brownie out before heading over to Xander’s neighborhood to look at the latest house.
We’d already looked at three houses near Xander and Mandy, a few close to my parents, a bunch on the outskirts of town, and even a few townhouses. Aidan and I both agreed that while a townhouse would give us more room than my apartment, it wasn’t what we really wanted. We needed a home with space for Brownie to run, a place we could grow into.
We were still pretty conscious about how much we were spending. When Aidan told his realtor we would be buying the house together she started trying to push the budget higher since it wouldn’t be as much of a stretch with two incomes, but we were firm on what we had to spend. She didn’t like it, but she stuck to Aidan’s original budget.
As we drove into the neighborhood I was struck again by the overwhelming feeling of being home. It was like something was telling me that we were supposed to be in that neighborhood, like it was right for us. I kept it to myself because I didn’t want Aidan to think I wouldn’t consider living somewhere else. After all, this was really still his house. He was putting down the majority of the money and his income would pay most of the bills since he worked more overtime than I did.
But it was nice to be included in it all.
We pulled into the driveway of the house Ann had told us about and my jaw dropped. It was an old brick ranch with a porch that stretched the full length of the front of the house. A two car garage was attached on the right and huge oak trees covered the lot.
It felt like something straight out of a fairy tale.
Aidan and I got out of the car and walked toward the front door with matching smiles on our faces, holding hands. Ann opened the door from the inside, her smile matching ours. “I think you guys are going to love this one. It’s a bit of a fixer upper, but not too bad. Come in and look.”
We stepped inside onto wide plank oak hardwood floors that stretched as far as I could see. We were standing in an entryway with a closet on the right and the dining room to the left. I could see the living room straight ahead of us and picture windows that looked onto the fenced in back yard.
“Let’s go through the dining room,” Ann suggested. We followed her into the grey colored dining room. Big windows let in plenty of natural light and the room was big enough to seat at least ten judging by the table the current owners had in there.
Next was the kitchen, and I could see where the fixing up was needed. As nice as the simple dining room was, the kitchen was lacking. The cabinets were outdated and damaged. Some of them were missing doors and others Ann said were stuck closed. My heart sunk as I realized the extent of work that would need to be done. I’d watched enough HGTV to know kitchen renovations were expensive, and it all started to add up in my head.
After the kitchen was done.
“I think it might be too much of a project,” I said, wanting to make sure Aidan knew it wasn’t as easy as he’d imagined.
“It’s great though, besides the kitchen, bedrooms, and bathrooms. The location is great and the overall house is exactly what we wanted.”
“I know sweetie, but I worry about taking this much on. You’re already working like crazy and this house is going to be a lot to handle. I know Xander would help, but there will be some things you would have to hire someone to do,” I said.
“Maybe I can help with that. This house is priced $50,000 below your budget. The owners realize there’s a lot of work to do and they just don’t have it in them to do it. It’s an older couple who built this house, raised their kids here, and are now ready to go somewhere that isn’t as much to do.”
“$50,000? Really?” I asked, knowing we could hire someone to do almost everything for that kind of money.
“Yes. And if your friend can help with some things, you’ll be fine hiring out the rest for that money. I’d recommend pulling up the carpet yourselves and tackling the demo on your own, but hire someone for whatever your friend can’t do. It’s a great house. In the neighborhood you wanted. And it’s got almost everything you asked for. The only thing it didn’t have is a shed in the backyard.”
“I love it. I think it’s perfect. Claire, what do you think? We can put an offer on it now. Full asking price. And we’ll still be way ahead. Is this it?”
I looked around the living room and out into the backyard. I could picture Aidan back there throwing a ball to Brownie, grilling steaks for our friends, chasing our kids. I could hear the yells of our family as we played games in the living room and the laughter as we watched a movie. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that we’d finally found the perfect home.
Lush & Lovely (Big & Beautiful Book 2) Page 15
