Hate to Love Him

by Jody Holford

  “Okay. That’s a start. If you want to stay here, I’m cool with that, but I do need to know what’s going on.”

  Justin’s body tensed—Brady could see the way his jaw clenched, like he was steeling himself for the worst.

  He purposely softened his voice. “Just wait…hear me out. You’ll always be welcome to live with me—this apartment is plenty big enough for both of us, but if you aren’t in school, you pay rent. Not much, but something. You chip in on food and you help out by doing your own laundry and cleaning up after yourself,” Brady said.

  Justin crossed his ankles, a seemingly casual pose against the counter, but Brady could read the nerves in his eyes. “Okay. Sounds fair.”

  “I try to be. But no secrets. Tell me why your dad needed time,” Brady said.

  Justin’s face went pale. He pushed off the counter and walked out of the kitchen. Brady followed him, but kept his distance as his nephew walked to the window and stared out at the early morning view of the city. “I didn’t say he needed time. You talked to him.”

  Crap. “Yeah. I talked to him.”

  Justin’s shoulders rose and fell with a heavy sigh. Sunlight glinted through the window.

  “You talked to him. He told you. And you’re going to let me stay?”

  Brady stood but kept his distance. The room wasn’t that big and he didn’t want to crowd the kid. “Turn around, Justin.”

  He did so, slowly. Nerves made him look at least five years younger and Brady’s heart ached.

  “You’re going to let me stay?”

  “Tell me why your dad asked you to go, Justin.”

  Justin’s eyes went wide and he took a deep breath, then blew it out. “Why?”

  Brady lowered his voice and stepped closer. “Because you need to say it and not have someone turn away. Because you need to say it and know there’s nothing wrong with who you are or what you want.”

  Barely an arm’s length from his nephew now, he saw the dampness in Justin’s eyes. Justin shook his head, but Brady kept walking until they were nearly toe to toe.

  “Justin.”

  Justin sniffed loudly, looked down at his feet. His voice was muffled when he spoke. “He said I was a disappointment, and until I could make a choice he could be proud of, maybe I was better off on my own.”

  Brady pressed his teeth together so hard it hurt. He gripped Justin’s shoulder. “Look at me.”

  Justin looked up and a tear trailed down his cheek. Brady’s heart cracked, but he pushed anyway. “Tell me. I won’t let you down.”

  Justin bit his lip then inhaled sharply. “I’m gay.”

  Brady squeezed his shoulder. “Okay.”

  Justin gave a watery laugh. “Okay? That’s it? All that for okay?”

  It was Brady’s turn to shrug. “You’re you, Justin. I love you. If you’re happy and a good person, nothing else matters.”

  Justin shook his head, like he couldn’t believe someone would accept him that easily. “You’re not going to tell me it’s a phase? That I haven’t met the right woman?”

  Brady laughed without humor. It came out more like a sigh. “Hell, kid. I’m the last person to give relationship advice.”

  He dropped his hand and shoved both in his pockets. “But here’s what I do know, you’re a good person. You’ve got a good heart. You’re a hard worker, and I’m proud as hell to be your uncle.”

  Justin’s jaw clenched and unclenched and then he threw his arms around Brady, knocking him back a step. Brady laughed for real and pulled his hands out of his pockets, patting Justin on the back.

  Justin pulled back, beaming. “You’re cool, Uncle B.”

  “You’re pretty cool yourself. What about your mom?”

  Justin’s smile disappeared. “I never told her, but I think she knows. She’s getting married.”

  “Okay. What happened then?”

  Putting some space between them, Justin walked to the fireplace and ran his hand along the mantle. “Her husband-to-be said the best wedding gift for my mom would be to start this new phase in her life without guilt or the responsibility of her last marriage getting in the way.”

  “What an ass. But did you talk to your mom?”

  Justin shook his head. “No. I just said I wanted to go see Dad, and she didn’t try to talk me out of it.”

  “You have to do what you feel is right, Justin, but you should think about talking to your mom. Sounds like her fiancé is worried about sharing attention, but that doesn’t mean it’s what your mom wants.”

  Another shrug. If Brady was going to be living with a teenager/almost adult, he was going to need to become more adept at reading shrugs. Wyatt would probably communicate perfectly with Justin.

  Another thought occurred to him and made his pulse pick up speed. “Uh…listen, you don’t need like a safe sex talk, do you?”

  Justin frowned then grinned, wide and cocky. “Because I’m gay?”

  Brady’s cheeks warmed. “No! Because you’re a teenage guy. You know how to stay safe and all that?”

  Justin’s eyes widened for a split second and then he laughed, hard. “Yeah. I’m good, Uncle Brady. But thanks.”

  This time, Brady shrugged. What did he know about giving “the talk?” “Okay. Well. You can talk to me about whatever you want. If you want.”

  Giving himself a second to breathe, extremely grateful he didn’t have to do the whole birds and bees talk—why is it even called that?—Brady went to the kitchen and grabbed them a couple of waters.

  Justin laughed again, his shoulders and expression relaxed. “Same goes, Uncle B.”

  “Huh?” He passed Justin a water.

  The smile still lit his nephew’s face, right up to his eyes. “If you want to talk about Mi—Ms. Kendrick.”

  Jesus. He’d kissed her and none of them even knew about it. “I’m good, kid. Thanks.”

  Shaking his head, heat crawling up his neck, Brady went back for his coffee. “I’m heading to work.”

  Gulping down the rest, he clapped Justin on the shoulder on his way past. He’d grab another coffee on the way in. He got his shoes on and was about to grab his keys when he heard his name.

  “What?”

  “You see this?” Justin had his phone out and was scrolling through.

  Brady glanced at the screen when Justin turned it. Air caught in his throat. He cleared it and hoped his voice was nonchalant. Pictures of Mia kissing a good-looking, very polished—like GQ-polished—guy.

  “Not the first time she’s been photographed,” Brady said. He’d done his share of internet searching over the holidays when she’d been calling him every ten minutes to get updates on the building.

  He could feel Justin’s eyes on him, but kept staring at the screen.

  “I thought you liked her?”

  Brady laughed. “Then you haven’t been paying very close attention, kid. I gotta go,” he said, letting himself out.

  None of your business. So she kissed another guy this week. You don’t even date in your building so what’s the issue? The issue was thinking, for even a second, that a woman like Mia—one who fit the GQ-polished guy like she did her power suits—would be interested in a guy like Brady. Worlds apart.

  Deciding he wouldn’t let it wreck his mood, he swung by her office anyway. Nerves pummelled his stomach. But he couldn’t hide the smile.

  She was staring intently at some paperwork on her desk when he stopped in the doorway. The jump in the heart just from seeing her irritated him.

  “Your car will be ready today. I can have someone drive it over,” he said.

  “Hi,” she said, looking up from her work.

  He was probably imagining that her eyes warmed when they locked on his. He saw the hint of exhaustion in her dark eyes, but she was perfectly put together. As usual. He loved the way she dressed, but it definitely highlighted what he already knew: they weren’t exactly a match in fashion heaven. Jeans and T-shirts were his go-to. He had a fondness for funny sayings or expres
sions, like the one he wore this morning that read “Mechanics are real superheroes.”

  Anticipation tap-danced in his stomach. “Early start,” he said, gesturing to the pile. It wasn’t even seven yet.

  She leaned back in her chair. “I could say the same to you.”

  When she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, his eyes tracked the movement. The kiss had seriously thrown him for a loop. He’d kissed women. He enjoyed kissing. But kissing Mia was on a whole other plane from anything he’d experienced. No other woman made him consider throwing his own close-to-home rules out the window. Shay and Gabby were both good-looking and sweet, but for them, he felt nothing more than friendship. An old tenant, Shanna, had flirted with him before she’d settled down, and Brady hadn’t even been tempted. With Mia, all he felt was temptation. And the desire for more.

  “You’re staring,” she said in an almost whisper.

  He stepped closer to the desk. “Hard not to.”

  Mia looked down. Shy didn’t seem like her thing, but he’d already proven he had a lot to learn about her.

  Self-preservation warred with lust. With a low chuckle, he leaned a hip against her desk. “Come on. You must know you’re beautiful. You have a mirror, right?”

  Teasing her was a new high. She looked up and the corners of her mouth quirked. “Yes. And thank you.”

  Her gaze was…hesitant. She felt whatever this was just as much as he did. The tension in his stomach snowballed into desire. She was completely out of his league, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. “Go out with me tonight.”

  “What?”

  Damn. So much for self-preservation. Or rules or common sense. “I’m pretty sure you heard me.”

  Pushing away from the desk, she stood and then realized she’d trapped herself between where he leaned and her chair.

  “It’s really not a good idea, Brady. We live in the same building. I’m your landlord. We’ve barely gone forty-eight hours without a fight. And we don’t entirely trust each other.”

  All things he’d said to himself. How pathetic was he that he wanted to count the fact that they’d both thought it as something in common? He knew there was more to it—he heard the hesitation in her voice—and the things he didn’t know, that she hadn’t yet told him, added weight to his shoulders. Still, he couldn’t stop himself. Brady took her wrist in his hand and stroked his thumb over the smooth skin there. “And yet, you haven’t said ‘no.’”

  She stood beside him, but he sensed her need to fidget, like energy was coursing through her. He definitely understood the sensation. His no-dating-within-the-building policy didn’t matter to him if she said yes. It was his rule so he could bend it, break it, or throw it the hell out.

  “I’m working toward something. I don’t want to be sidetracked.” She winced.

  Working on what? Stop thinking every woman has an ulterior motive or underhanded plan. Focus on the good. “Do I distract you?”

  She tilted her head and huffed out a sigh. “One way or another. Yes. You do. And you know it. I have a thing tonight that I can’t get out of.”

  Brady dropped her wrist and stood. He thought she was evading something, but maybe he’d been right all along. Maybe she just didn’t think he was worth her time. She tilted her head back to keep eye contact.

  “Is it something I could take you to?”

  “Uh…it’s a monthly commitment. It’s not really a dating venue.”

  His skin prickled. It was probably some fancy upper-crust soiree she didn’t think he’d fit into. Maybe GQ Guy was taking her.

  “I own a suit, you know,” he said. His tone was curt.

  “Okay,” she said. She scrunched her brows together.

  “Just in case you think I can’t dress up for some extravagant shindig. I can even speak in full sentences for a whole evening and not talk about cars.”

  Mia’s mouth dropped open and she put her hands on her hips. He’d liked having his own hands there.

  “You know what? You can absolutely take me. You don’t need a suit. What you’re wearing is fine.”

  He didn’t understand the challenge in her voice, but he was on board. “What time and where are we going?” Brady didn’t want to back down from this fight, despite common sense tapping rapidly on his shoulder.

  She stepped closer, nearly touching him. His fingers curled into fists so he didn’t reach out and yank her against him.

  “Meet me here at six and it’s a surprise.”

  Partially amused and somewhat confused, he shook his head and then leaned down and gave her chaste kiss.

  “Fine.”

  Smiling, she patted his chest. “Fine. See you tonight, Brady.”

  ...

  Brady thought double takes were for slapstick comedy. But that didn’t stop him from doing one when he walked into Mia’s office at five to six that evening and found her in jeans and a short-sleeved T-shirt. Her hair was tied back, but the ponytail was low and kind of sporty. She looked soft and sweet, with not a touch of makeup that he could see. Clearly, she wasn’t taking him on the red carpet.

  “Right on time. I like that,” she said.

  She took her coat from the coatrack in the corner and when he helped her into it, he let his hands rest on her shoulders a moment. Then he lifted her hair out of the collar.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “My pleasure. Where are we going?”

  She looked up over her shoulder. “You’ll see.”

  He couldn’t argue when he’d done the same. When they got to the parking garage, they started toward her Lexus. He’d had it delivered to her during the day.

  “We could take my car and I can show you how to handle a stick,” he said.

  She stopped walking and looked up at him. “What makes you think I can’t?”

  He grinned. “Your car is automatic.”

  She put her hands on her hips and gave him a pouty glare. “Did it occur to you that was a choice?”

  Brady chuckled. “No. Because stick is way more fun.”

  Mia rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “But not as practical.”

  Brady laughed and walked alongside her to the sleek silver car. “Some things are more important than practical. Like the feel of punching the clutch as you slide into fifth.”

  “You know, your voice goes all husky when you talk about cars. I’m not sure I should have left you alone with mine. Don’t want you getting attachment issues.”

  The words were playful, but the worry rippled through him because he knew it could happen. And not with her car. “No worries. If she were a stick, maybe.”

  Mia smacked his stomach playfully and he caught her hand. “There’s a reason people make jokes about boys and their toys.”

  “I can’t deny that.”

  As he slid in the passenger side, Brady’s chest filled with pride. Any shop would have cleaned her up, but he’d gone above and beyond. It was showroom clean, but smelled sweet and fresh like her. Like warm sugar. She pressed the button on the ignition and pulled her seat belt on. When she saw him watching her, she froze.

  “What?”

  “You look really pretty. All dressed up, you’re one of the sexiest women I’ve ever met. But jeans and a T-shirt? Heart-stopping.”

  And so was the smile she gave him. Leaning in, he gave her a soft kiss, letting his mouth linger on hers.

  She pulled back and sat up straight. “You’re supposed to wait until the end of the night to kiss me.”

  Brady laughed and buckled up. “I don’t like that rule.” Or several of his others apparently.

  “There’s a surprise,” she said.

  She pulled out of her spot and he leaned back into the soft leather seats. There wasn’t much traffic, particularly since she started to head out of town. He didn’t ask where they were going because he liked being beside her and the destination didn’t matter.

  “The car looks and runs great. Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” It really had
been.

  “I got the invoice, but it didn’t list the detailing cost,” she said, her hands on the wheel.

  “No charge.”

  She glanced his way and he saw her lips tighten before she spoke in that prim way she had. “I will not take—”

  Brady held up a hand. “Don’t even know what you’re going to say, but stop. There’s no charge because I’m hoping you’ll spread the word to your fancy friends.”

  Mia scoffed, which didn’t suit her, but made him smile. “I don’t have fancy friends.”

  “Sure. And they don’t drive hundred-thousand-dollar vehicles like your brother,” he said.

  “Given the opportunity, I will definitely spread the word, but I’m not sure my brother would take my suggestion. He’s not exactly a fan of my opinion.”

  “I hear that. I’m not really a fan of my brother’s opinion. But you know what, you don’t choose your family. You choose your friends and make them your family.”

  Mia drove with ease and confidence. Sometimes after an accident, people were hesitant. He was glad to see she wasn’t.

  “You really believe that?”

  “Sure. Owen and Gabby are my best friends. I’d rather spend the holidays with them than my brother. And likewise, my brother doesn’t want much to do with me. Not even sure where he spent last Christmas.”

  He’d like to pretend it didn’t bug him, but even he could hear the hurt in his tone.

  “That’s sad. It shouldn’t be like that. I understand, though. Michael doesn’t make it easy to spend an evening with him, much less a holiday.”

  Brady curled his fingers in his lap. “Shouldn’t be that way, but when it is, it’s comforting to know there are others in your life to step up and pull you in.”

  She nodded but didn’t look convinced. He liked having her drive. He could stare at her a little without her commenting on it. She had a striking profile. With her hair tied back loosely, he could see how elegant the curve of her neck was. He thought of kissing her there.

  “I can feel you staring at me. Stop it,” she said. She smiled at him.