by Ravenna Tate
No one spoke. A quick glance around the room confirmed they were each as stunned as Phenex.
“It doesn’t matter that the group broke off from those who are staying at that bar and will continue to call themselves the Outlaw Dogs MC. Elyria or Lorain isn’t far enough away. The east side of Cleveland isn’t far enough away. This is Ohio, not New York or LA. There’s not enough business for me and Vito, let alone if di Stefano gets a piece of what little we have here.”
He held up a hand as Gorgon started to speak. “It’s not only about the money. I have more than I need. It’s about preserving what we have here. Keeping the status quo. The more bosses here, the more trouble it brings. The less we each have. The more bullshit we fight about over business and territory.”
After returning his hands to his lap, he leaned back in his chair, but his expression was still as serious as Phenex had ever seen it. “If di Stefano gets a foothold in this area, the deal Vito and I made two months ago will be a moot point. We’ll end up in a turf war. A real one. And let me assure you that it ain’t like the fucking movies. Business will suffer. I’m concerned about your operation here. I’m concerned about your safety, despite the recent additions to your security.”
Gorgon ran a hand over his beard. “Donny, we rely on your protection. Hell, it’s more than that. You’re like family to us. But this is our home. We built this place on the backs of my brother, my parents, and the friends and family most of our patched members lost in that fire twenty-two years ago.”
“I realize that, Gorgon.”
“We can’t just up and move.”
“You could if you wanted to. There are plenty of places to go. Places where Mad Dog’s followers won’t bother you.”
“You mean places where Roberto di Stefano won’t bother us,” said Vassago.
“Yeah. Exactly. And I would personally finance rebuilding Scotty’s Place in another location.”
“How far away do you really think we can go that they won’t bother us?” asked Tannin.
“I have a few places in mind.”
“And what about you? Would you move, too?”
“I’m open to it. If di Stefano moves into this territory, I’d be better off leaving anyway.”
“It’s that bad?” asked Vassago.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
Phenex cleared his throat. “The people we lost in that fire aren’t the only ones buried close by. They’re not the only ones we built this place for. Like Gorgon said, this is our home. If it happens to be home to Mad Dog’s followers, too, that’s how it goes in a small town. Most of us grew up with those men.”
Donny nodded slowly. “I get that, Phenex. I really do. My family is from Brooklyn, but I have roots here, too. However, if my family were in danger here, we’d be gone.” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that.”
“Are they in danger?” asked Tannin.
“Not yet.”
“Donny, is there anything you can do to keep di Stefano from coming here?” asked Mastema.
Vassago exchanged a glance with Donny, who was his cousin. “One long shot,” said Donny. “And it’s only a long shot. I can ask my men to contact his men, and suggest a sit-down. Out of respect for the fact that Vito and I run things here, he might agree to it. But that doesn’t mean he’d also agree not to move in on what we have going here. Anyway, I’d have to talk to Vito first. And, there would have to be other bosses there if we did this. As witnesses.”
“And that sit-down wouldn’t happen in Ohio,” said Vassago.
“Right. Vito and I would to go Queens.”
“That sounds more fucking dangerous than us staying here,” said Rahab.
Donny’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I know how to protect myself.” He glanced around at each man in turn. Phenex shivered when Donny’s dark gaze met his. “Don’t close your minds completely to moving the club, okay?”
“We won’t,” said Gorgon. “And, it goes without saying this stays between us for now.” He glared at each of his officers. “That includes keeping it from our old ladies, the dancers, and the sweetbutts.” Gorgon’s gaze rested on Phenex a bit too long before he cut it back to Donny. “You got anything else for us?”
“Nope. Let’s go eat. It smells so damn good out there, I’m ready to pass out from hunger.”
They ate in the dining room where Rai and some of the other women had gone all out because Donny was here. There were candles on the table and linen napkins next to the plates. Phenex hadn’t even realized they stored such things in the building.
If the conversation was strained and the women wondered why, none of them said anything out loud. Meghan shot him curious looks a few times from across the table. Phenex doubted the quick smile he gave her each time was enough to ease her mind. She wasn’t stupid, and she’d already proven how perceptive she was about his expressions.
As he glanced around the table, he couldn’t help noticing how Chloe kept her hand on Gorgon’s forearm during most of the meal, gently brushing her fingers across his skin. Whether that was to comfort him for something she couldn’t identify, but sensed in him, or if it was for her own reassurance, Phenex wasn’t sure.
Kayla leaned over and whispered in Mastema’s ear a couple of times, and he responded by giving her the same fake smile Phenex had given Meghan. Rai was less subtle in her attempts to pry the truth out of Tannin, but once he whispered in her ear, she stopped asking.
While he ate, Phenex tried to imagine leaving everything he’d known his entire life to start over in a new place. People did it all the time, but usually because they wanted to, or because of a great job opportunity. Not because they were being harassed by Mob bosses.
H couldn’t imagine having to drive for hours or hop a plane just to visit his mom’s grave. And what would Meghan think of that? Her baby girl was buried here. Phenex had no kids, but even he could picture how difficult it would be to move away from something like that.
And worse, what if they did move but Meghan decided to stay behind? She was an experienced bartender now. She could get a job anywhere in Cleveland, and make a nice living for herself. She might find a guy who treated her right. She might even get married and have babies with the dude.
“Phenex? Do you want some of this or not?” He snapped out of his reverie at the sound of Creamy’s voice, next to him. She held a plate filled with fresh cookies. They weren’t chocolate chip or any other kind they normally had by the boxful in the building. Rai had made these specially for Donny. They were all fancy, with Italian names, but Phenex had no fucking clue right now what any of those names were.
“Yeah. Thanks.” He grabbed a handful and dumped them on his plate, then passed the tray to one of the prospects sitting on the other side of him. He’d wait a respectable amount of time before excusing himself from the table so it didn’t look odd. He wasn’t hungry for cookies, even homemade, fancy ones.
The only thing he wanted at that moment was to be alone with Meghan. To hold her, and listen to her voice in the dark. He wanted to pretend none of this had ever happened. Mad Dog hadn’t been shot and killed by Howler, he’d never talked to other Mob bosses, and a group of Outlaw Dogs hadn’t split off from the main bunch and were now in bed with a dangerous man from Queens. A man who frightened Donny, of all people, to the point Donny had asked them to consider leaving their club and starting over in another place.
What the fuck were they supposed to do now? How the fuck would he ever work up the courage to tell Meghan how he’d felt about her all this time, with shit like this hanging over their heads? He was fucked six ways to Sunday, and he’d done it to himself. If he hadn’t been such a fucking pussy, she’d know by now. He’d have never rejected her two years ago, and maybe she’d be his old lady by now.
This was his own doing. No matter the reasons for never telling her, he’d brought this down on his own head.
Chapter Seven
The only reason Meghan stayed behind to help Rai and the ot
hers clean up after dinner and do the dishes was because she knew, like they did, that Donny had come here tonight to tell the officers something very important. Until Gorgon gave the okay to tell them, they would not know what Donny had said. Meghan merely wanted to offer her silent support to the other women.
Gorgon had made it clear the subject was off limits, as soon as they’d started to clear the plates. He’d come into the kitchen and told them all not to ask, cajole, seduce, or coerce any information out of the officers. He promised that any dancer or sweetbutt caught doing so would be asked to leave immediately.
“It’s a matter of club security,” he said. “I need your cooperation on this.”
So of course, as they worked, the speculation ran wild. Everything from Donny was leaving his wife to Vito was dead. Meghan thought most of the guesses were absurd. The actual truth was likely related to those four men, and that meant the Mob boss from Queens was probably the reason for Donny’s mysterious visit tonight.
But she said nothing. It wasn’t her intention to start or feed rumors. The worst part was knowing she couldn’t ask Phenex. He’d never betray his Brothers, and she would think less of him if he did. She’d have to wait this out, along with the rest of them.
In the meantime, she tried to ignore the chatter as she dried dishes and let her thoughts return to the day she’d spent with Phenex. It had been one of the best days of her life. By the time she finished and the last dish had been put away, along with every remnant from the incredible meal Rai and the others had prepared, Meghan had reached a decision.
To let this go on any longer was foolish and childish. She wasn’t a little girl. She was a grown woman, and it was time to cast aside her fear and tell Phenex how she felt. The worst that could happen was she’d find out he still wasn’t interested in her that way.
If that happened, she could always find a new job, a new club, a new life. Not telling him was far worse because she’d already wasted two years. If she didn’t do this, she’d regret never saying anything to him for the rest of her life.
Meghan could barely keep her eyes open by the time she climbed the stairs. As she made her way down the hall toward her room, a noise behind her stopped her progress. She turned, hoping it was Phenex, but instead Vassago approached.
“Hey, Wonder Tongue.” He moved closer. “Been wondering when all of you would finally finish cleaning up.”
“It was a large meal.”
“Donny appreciated it.”
“He always does. That’s why none of us mind working so hard to feed him when he’s here.”
Vassago brushed a hand along her hair. “I sure could use some of your hard work right now.”
And I sure could use some sleep. “Vassago, I can barely stay awake.”
“Must have been all that outdoor activity earlier with Phenex.”
Had they been spotted? And what did it matter if they had been? Kind of arrogant of him to mention it. “It’s been a long day.”
Vassago moved closer and rubbed his bulge against her body. “Just a quick one, then. Why should Phenex have all the fun?” It was annoying when they showed jealous tendencies, especially when she was so fucking tired.
She opened her mouth to speak again, but footfalls behind Vassago interrupted her. Janel, a sweetbutt known as Red, came toward them. She also worked kitchen duty, and had been a huge help tonight with dinner. Rai was teaching her many of the dishes she specialized in, and which Donny loved because they were authentic Sicilian cooking.
“She’s tired, Vassago.” Janel’s eyes gleamed with lust. “But I’m not.”
Vassago winked at Meghan. “Catch you next time, then.” Any port in a storm. He moved away from her and followed Janel into her room. Meghan went into hers and leaned against the closed door. She rarely turned one of them down when they asked, even when she was tired. But after today, the thought of fucking anyone but Phenex left her cold.
That was a problem. A big one. Either she told Phenex, or she’d have to leave this club because the members would revolt when she stopped fucking all of them except Phenex.
****
Three days later, during which Meghan had done her job and nothing else, the two subjects most talked about in the building included her. The other hot topic of speculation was why Donny had come to the club for dinner three nights earlier.
She’d avoided having sex with everyone, including Phenex, using the excuse that her stomach was in knots over everything that had happened in the past few months. But if the longing looks the members gave her, or the conversations that suddenly stopped when she walked into a room were any indication, no one was buying it.
Saturday morning, she was in the kitchen helping Chloe, Rai, and Janel with breakfast when Chloe stood next to her after Janel and Rai had taken trays up to rooms.
“Gorgon said to give you a message.”
“What?” Hot fear raced through her. Had Phenex told him about Faith?
“If you no longer want to be a sweetbutt, you need to talk to him. It’s okay if you don’t, but he needs to know. The guys are driving him nuts with questions about you.”
Meghan’s pulse raced. Chloe was her closest female friend. “Is that what people are saying about me?”
“Yes. That, and the other rumor is that you’re looking for another job. But that one I’ve been shooting down because if it was true, you’d have told me.”
“Oh, Chloe. Shit.”
Chloe’s pretty face fell. “Fuck, Meghan. Is it true?”
“No. I’m not looking for another job.”
“Then what’s going on? Is it what we talked about the night after those men came in here?”
Rai’s and Janel’s voices floated in from the hallway. “Yes.” Partly that, partly a horrible secret I’ve kept from you.
If it had become bad enough that Gorgon was passing messages to her through his old lady, the rumors were flying worse than she’d imagined. Meghan absolutely hated the fact that Chloe had heard how much she still wanted Phenex before he had heard it. It no longer seemed right that she’d told Chloe but not him. Especially after all this time.
She’d been living in her past for two years. What was she doing to do? Live there for the rest of her life? She was missing out on the present by doing so. She was missing out on everything, including a chance to be with the only man who had ever made her believe she could fall in love.
An eternity passed before they finished breakfast for all the men, ate theirs, and then washed the dishes once everyone was done. Chloe cast Meghan worried looks the entire time. Finally, they had a chance to be alone.
“Let’s go outside and talk,” said Chloe.
“Don’t you have to rehearse?”
“I’m not dancing tonight. I won’t be dancing until after the baby is born.”
“Are you all right?” Meghan had been so focused on her own problems, she hadn’t paid attention to how Chloe’s pregnancy was progressing. Some good friend she was.
“Yeah, but the doctor says—”
“You went to a doctor?”
“Meghan, of course I did. That’s what women do when they’re pregnant. Not because anything is wrong, but to receive the right care.”
Yeah, I know. “What did he say?”
“She said not to do anything that tires me out too much, and dancing does. I’ve been exhausted.”
There were dark circles under her eyes, but Meghan hadn’t put two and two together.
“My blood work was fine, and the baby’s heart rate is, too, but Gorgon has put his foot down. I’m not to dance until after this baby is born.”
“I’m so glad you’re all right.”
“Thanks, but I want to talk about you and Phenex.”
Chloe had no clue this went way beyond her feelings for Phenex. She didn’t know the secret she’d kept from all of them. Meghan waited until they’d walked along the trails and were far enough away from the building that there was no chance of being heard.
; “Not sure where to begin.” Was it a mistake to tell Chloe about Faith, when Chloe was worried enough about her unborn child to stop dancing? Chloe lived to dance.
“How about starting with why you haven’t had sex since last week?”
“How do you know I haven’t?”
“Meghan…” Chloe stopped walking, so Meghan did, too. “Nothing is sacred in this place. Gorgon, Tannin, and Rai didn’t breathe a word of my pregnancy, yet everyone knows.”
“Maybe Donny told them?” Donny had been the one to tell Chloe she was pregnant. The only other people there at the time had been Rai, Tannin, and Gorgon. “I heard it from Creamy, by the way. The story about how Donny saw it in your aura or something that you were pregnant.”
Chloe sighed out loud and threw up her hands in exasperation. “See? That’s what I mean. Who told her? I sure didn’t.”
“I don’t know. But I do see what you mean. Okay. I haven’t had sex since Phenex and I did last week.”
“Because you don’t want to have it with anyone but him, right?”
Meghan kicked at a pile of dead leaves. “That about sums it up.”
“But he still doesn’t know this.”
“Nope.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I’ve waited too long to tell him, and I have no clue if he feels the same way about me. He didn’t once, remember?”
“We’ve gone over this.”
“I know.”
Chloe stared at her as if there were lobsters crawling over her face. “I’m missing something.”
“Yes, you are, but I don’t think it’s a reason I haven’t said anything to Phenex about how I feel.”
Are you sure about that?
“Even if it isn’t, it’s eating you up inside.”
“True.” She had thought telling Phenex would help, and it had, but only a little. Was she holding back from telling Phenex the truth of her feelings because of this secret? Because she’d held it in so long?
“Spill it.”
