Because of You

by Sam Mariano

  I got off work at seven, and I decided to drive slightly out of my way to Burger King just to make sure Derek's car was there.

  It wasn't.

  So I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Burger King's number.

  "Hey, can I talk to Derek?" I asked once the kid finished his greeting.

  "He isn't here," the kid said.

  "Oh. I thought he worked tonight?"

  "He did, but he switched with someone. Said something came up."

  "Well, what came up?" I asked.

  "I'm really not allowed to... I don't really know, anyway."

  Rather than continue to make the kid nervous, I sighed and said, "Thank you, I'll just ask him myself."

  By the time Derek called me at 10:30, I was over my shock and moving into new territory. If the son of a bitch lied to me and snuck over to Kayla's, he could have her. I was done. I would not be his idiot.

  "Hey," he greeted.

  "Hey," I greeted casually, deciding to play it cool. "How was work? Busy?"

  He paused briefly, then started to say, "Um, yeah... Actually, since you mention it, I was going to—You were going to study tomorrow anyway, right?"

  "No way," I said a little enthusiastically. "My boyfriend only works until four, I only work until three, we should definitely spend some time together."

  "I would love to, but actually I have to work. I have to work until four, then I have to work again from six to close, so I was thinking I would just take my homework and do that during my two hour break, and just not even leave."

  "Why do you have to work?" I asked, giving him one last chance to come clean. "I thought you were off tomorrow night."

  There was another brief pause on his end, then he said, "I was. I switched my hours with Chris. He worked for me tonight, and I work for him tomorrow."

  "You didn't work tonight," I reiterated.

  "No."

  "Why?" I asked.

  He sighed. "Don't get pissed."

  "That's a great start, Derek."

  "I had to go over to Kayla's," he said in a tone that told me he was preparing to fight.

  "Kayla's?" I repeated.

  He sighed again. "Nikki, I don't feel like fighting with you. I am exhausted and—"

  "Yeah, and I don't feel like sharing my boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend, either, so I guess neither one of us got what we expected out of this relationship," I snapped.

  "All we ever do anymore is fucking fight," he said, raising his voice a little.

  "That's because you keep doing fucking stupid things!" I shot back. "You know that we got in a fight about this last week, and yet you kept it from me again? Why would you do something so idiotic, Derek?"

  "Because I didn't feel like doing this, Nicole. Yeah, I could have called you right after Kayla called me, but we would have just fought before and after, and you would have been worried about it the whole time."

  "You still haven't said why you were over there."

  "You're not going to care," he said. "You're sure as hell not going to think it's a good reason."

  "Give me the benefit of the doubt," I suggested.

  I heard him utter another sigh. "Okay. Kayla called me. She was crying."

  I paused for about a half a second. "Yeah, not hearing any good reasons yet."

  "I guess her mother... she wasn't planning on telling her yet, and her mother found out. I guess her mom is really religious, and she freaked out on Kayla, and... it's a long story, but Kayla needed me to come over so she could reassure her mother and let her grandparents know officially."

  "I have several questions. One, why did you have to be there? Two, why didn't you tell me when you first found out so I didn't have to hear it from someone else? Three, are you going to be running to her rescue now every single time she cries? Because if you are, she's going to cry a lot."

  "I already told you, I didn't want to fight. I knew if I called you at work to tell you I had to call off so I could go be with Kayla, it wouldn't go over very well."

  "So why didn't you tell me this morning at school, Derek? Or at lunch? Why did you think intentionally keeping it from me would make it better?"

  "I didn't know about it then, Nikki," he said defensively. "Kayla called me at four o'clock crying her eyes out. I really didn't have time to do much, and I didn't want to call you at work. I figured you would find out later, and I knew you would be mad, so I figured I'd put it off until I could explain myself."

  "Why would... four o'clock? Today?"

  "Yeah," he said. "It's not like this was planned, Nikki. I would have told you about it if it would have been."

  I frowned, thinking about what Steph had said. "When did she say her mom found out?"

  "I don't know when, she just said her mom was waiting for her when she got home from school. I would assume she probably found out somehow this morning."

  That just didn't add up.

  "Well, tell me, did they say anything?"

  "They said a lot. Be more specific."

  "Did they say anything about finding out today?"

  "No," he said. "Kayla said it's a sore subject, she didn't want me to mention how they found out or anything."

  Derek and I didn't talk much longer. Given our argument and Derek's drowsiness, we decided not to hang out that night, and obviously we wouldn't be able to hang out the next night because he would be working.

  Instead, I decided to do a little snooping, and I got on my cell phone and texted Stephanie, asking her to do me a favor.

  "Sure, what's up?" she asked.

  I asked her to find out for me, just to sate my curiosity, how long Kayla had been planning the dinner with Derek.

  A few minutes later she sent back, "A few days."

  "One more question," I texted. "How did her mom find out she was pregnant?"

  "She told her," was the quick response.

  That was interesting.

  Very interesting.

  Chapter Fifteen-

  Since my boyfriend was being such a dumbass, I decided to once again take matters into my own hands.

  Something was up with Kayla. I wasn't sure exactly what, how far her deceit ran, but I knew she was keeping him in the dark, and poor Derek was too busy working to realize the light even went out.

  I really, really didn't want to do it, but I decided that in order to fix things I had to start with Derek.

  That meant I had to talk to Mike.

  On Sunday afternoon I showed up on Derek's doorstep.

  Mike came to greet me, faltering when he saw who it was.

  "Hi, Nicole. Um, Derek isn't here," he said.

  "I know," I said, nodding. "I came to talk to you."

  His eyebrows shot up, and he glanced behind me as if expecting to see a group of outraged villagers with pitchforks and lanterns. "Me?"

  I nodded. "It's about Derek. May I come in for a minute?"

  "Oh, sure," he said, awkwardly backing up and opening the door to let me inside.

  I stepped inside, beginning to feel a little awkward myself. Mike motioned to the couch for me to have a seat, which I did, holding my purse in my lap and looking down at my hands to avoid looking at him.

  "I'm here because I'm worried about Derek," I started, making myself look him in the eye.

  Mike frowned, his blue eyes dimming a little. "Is Derek okay?"

  "Sort of," I replied. "I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but this whole situation with Kayla… well, he's not himself."

  Mike nodded in understanding. "I'm sure he isn't. When you first get news like this… At the risk of getting my head taken off, I'm going to refer back to when I was in this predicament. For a good month I was just a blob. I just sat around stupidly, dazed… your mother would try to cheer me up and… well, anyway, it's not unusual to feel thrown when you get news like this, trust me."

  "It's not him being thrown that concerns me," I stated, mildly irritated at being brushed off. "I allowed for the fact that this is very bad news, that he
doesn't want to have a kid with Kayla. I'm not talking about that. He's taking way too much of this upon himself. I understand that he's trying to take responsibility, but she is taking advantage of him and he doesn't even seem to notice. I miss my boyfriend. I want him back. His stand-in just isn't doing it for me."

  Mike cracked a smile. "You obviously like him a lot if you're willing to put up with this."

  "Yeah, I do," I said.

  "I really don't know what advice to give you, Nicole," he said apologetically. "As you may have noticed, I'm not very good with this particular topic."

  "I'm not asking for advice. That's not why I came here."

  "Then why did you come here?" he returned.

  "Derek is working too much. I don't frankly give a damn if Kayla has insurance, I don't care if she has to give birth in the back of a minivan. The only thing I care about is Derek, and he is killing himself working this much. There is no reason for him to be working seven days a week and going to school. You are his father, but you're also his boss. What I'm asking is that you please consider cutting some of his days. He does not need to be working like this."

  Mike's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "He's working seven days a week?"

  "You didn't know that?" I asked, frowning. "You're his father, he lives with you."

  "I know that, but… I just assumed he was with you or… no, he shouldn't be working that much."

  "Well, he is, and he's turning into a zombie. He isn't even doing half of his schoolwork, and Derek is too smart to be falling behind in school."

  "He's falling behind in school?"

  I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking if he knew anything about his son. "He's working two jobs and catering to Kayla; he doesn't have time for school." I stood up, putting my purse on my shoulder. "Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if you could do something about this. Derek thinks he needs the money, but he isn't thinking clearly right now. He's still young, and if this baby is so expensive then Kayla can start working, but it's not entirely Derek's responsibility and I don't know how to get that through to him. I can't undo what he was raised to believe."

  With that, I offered a slight nod and made my way out of the house.

  To my surprise, I got a call from Derek two hours later.

  "What are you doing?" he asked me.

  "I'm working on my research paper for human behavior, what are you doing?"

  "Nothing yet. I was going to see if you wanted to come over, or me to come over or something."

  "I thought you were working," I said.

  "I was," he said on a sigh, "but my dad sent me home, said he was watching labor and he didn't need me. I thought… since we haven't been getting along very well lately…"

  "That we should spend some quality time together?" I asked, smiling a little.

  "Yeah," he said. "What do you say?"

  "I say it's about damn time. Get your butt over here."

  He chuckled. "I'll be there soon."

  "Bring some homework just in case," I added.

  "Yes, Miss Harmon," he said dryly.

  "I'll see you in a bit," I said.

  "Bye," he said.

  Those were really fast results. Maybe Mike would actually listen to me. If only I could get my boyfriend to listen to me, too. It would sure make my life easier.

  Once I got Derek focusing more on his homework and his future—not to mention his girlfriend—all I had to do was convince him that Kayla was not a damsel in distress. And if he didn't get that through his thick head… well, I didn't want to think about that. I wasn't willing to tolerate my boyfriend dropping me every other minute because some other bitch yanked on his chain.

  When Derek showed up I made sure to get a nice long hug, just in case I didn't get another one for a while.

  "Hey, stranger," I greeted.

  "Hey," he said, giving me a kiss. "You look surprisingly happy to see me."

  "Should I not be happy to see you?" I asked, wondering what new stupid thing he had done.

  "I don't know, you haven't seemed overly fond of me lately."

  "Well, you haven't been overly considerate of your girlfriend lately," I returned levelly.

  He sighed, a flicker of irritation crossing his features. "I'm trying, Nikki."

  I nodded, my arms still wrapped around his neck. "I know. You're trying too hard."

  "Maybe," he conceded. "I'm still learning how to do this. None of your books tell me how, do they?"

  "No, but can I give you a bit of advice?" I asked.

  "Go for it."

  "Stop trying to do everything yourself," I said simply. "I know that you're Superman and everything, but it just isn't necessary. You have a whole support system available to you. If you would stop pushing me away, you know I'm here for you. Your dad is probably there for you. And let's not forget Kayla. She isn't there for you, but she has her own support system. She has her own friends, her own family—she is not your responsibility, Derek."

  He sighed. "We're not going to start fighting about her again, are we?"

  "Not unless you get defensive when I'm just trying to talk to you," I returned evenly.

  Acknowledging that I was right, he bowed his head sheepishly. "I'm not there for Kayla, Nikki. You know that you're the one I care about."

  After a brief hesitation, I amended, "I… would like to know that, Derek, but lately it doesn't feel that way."

  "Nikki, if I didn't care about you I would just get back together with Kayla and make my life a hell of a lot easier. How can you possibly not know that I care about you?"

  "I do think you care about me, I'm just not sure that you care enough."

  He just stared at me. "I don't understand how that's possible."

  I wasn't sure how to have the conversation we needed to have without fighting, but since I had him at my house, I figured even if we did end up fighting, I could most likely control the situation.

  "Derek… I need you to do something for me."

  "Name it," he said.

  "I need you to prove that you care about me. It's nice to hear, yes, but I need you to show it."

  He sighed, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling. "How am I supposed to do that?"

  "Leave Kayla alone. I know that it isn't simple, but you need to set boundaries. You're letting her think she can just yank on your leash and you'll come running. I need you to stop doing that. I don't care if Kayla calls you crying. She's a viper, Derek, and a liar and… everything else that I would like to say, but won't out of respect for your kid."

  "I know you don't like her…"

  "It's more than that, Derek. She manipulates you. I know you don't always realize it, but she does. I don't know why, I don't know what her problem is, or exactly what's up her sleeve, but it's like she just enjoys playing with our lives. Please stop letting her. Stop lying to me; you know I will find out eventually, so what's the point?"

  "I don't try to lie to you, Nikki. I already told you that I was going to tell you about dinner."

  "Did you lie to me about when you found out?"

  "No," he said, shaking his head. "I told you, Kayla called me, it was just one of those things, it had just happened, and I needed to help her do some damage control. It isn't going to happen often, it was a one-time thing."

  "Derek, she lied to you," I told him.

  He frowned a little. "What?"

  "She lied to you about that dinner, about her mother accidentally finding out. It was not a last minute thing. Kayla was planning that dinner with her grandparents for several days, she just lied and used tears to get you to agree to it. I don't know why, I just know that she did."

  "No, that's not… Her mom had just found out, that was the whole reason I had to be there."

  "No, she lied about that," I corrected.

  Derek frowned, and I could tell he was mulling it over, but he wasn't convinced that I was right.

  "Did you have pie for dessert?" I asked.

  One eyebrow shot up. "Yeah."

  "
How would I know that?" I asked. "I wasn't there, and you certainly didn't share the details."

  "How did you find this out?" he asked, frowning.

  "Stephanie. Apparently Kayla slipped up in her little game, because she told Stephanie the night before that she was making pie with her grandma for that dinner."

  "She lied to me," he reiterated.

  "Yes," I said, nodding.

  "And I fell for it?" he questioned.

  "Hook, line and sinker."

  He shook his head. "Stupid bitch."

  "I'm going to assume you're referring to Kayla, not me."

  He looked down at me, half smiling. "Obviously."

  "That's good. I'd hate to have to reprimand you," I said a bit playfully.

  He smiled. "And how are you going to reprimand me, half-pint?"

  I smiled sweetly and tugged on his shirt, pulling him down the hall toward my bedroom. "Why don't you come find out?"

  He raised an eyebrow. "Well, hell, I might misbehave more often," he said, following me inside and shutting the door behind him.

  Derek let out a satisfied sigh about an hour later. "That has not happened recently enough," he stated.

  I smiled, snuggling closer to him and kissing him on the shoulder. "See, it's nice when you spend time with your girlfriend, isn't it?"

  "Very nice," he said, pulling me a little closer and placing a little kiss on my forehead.

  I stayed just like that, curled up in his arms, savoring the comfortable feeling of being all cozy and snuggled up to him. When he lightly caressed my arm, I closed my eyes and pressed my face into his chest, wishing we could stay like that forever, knowing that it wasn't possible.

  The way our relationship was going, there didn't seem to be a guarantee that we would even be nice to each other the next day, so I was hoarding all the cuddle time I could get.

  "I wish we could be like this all the time," I absently told him.

  "We can," he responded.

  "In my dreams, yes," I said with a slight nod. "In reality… not so much."