The Side Effects of You

by Anna Black

  He breathed deeply and rubbed his head.

  “Spit it out. I have clients waiting,” I barked, pushing him.

  “There are rumors of sexual misconduct,” he revealed in a whisper.

  “What? Say it again, Pastor.”

  “Listen, Ann, you know me, and these rumors are just what they are . . . rumors. I am a man of God, and I would never conduct myself in such a way. I love you, and I love my kids, and you know that I’d never hurt you, right?”

  I looked at him, blinked, and said, “If any of what they say is true, just tell me the truth. What am I up against?” I knew he was a two-timing, double-dipping bastard. I just wanted the truth.

  “Ann, how could you say—” he began, but I stopped him.

  “How could I what? Question the allegations, when you and I haven’t shared a bed in God knows how long? So why are you here?” I asked, and he said nothing. “I don’t know what to believe about you anymore, Jeremiah, and I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “I want you to have my back!” he yelled.

  My eyes watered, because for a split second I saw the man I had fallen in love with.

  He went on. “I want you to know that no matter how bad things are at home, I love you, and I’m not capable of doing what they are trying to accuse me of.”

  I wanted to laugh in his face, but I told myself to handle things like a woman.

  “Whatever it is you’re asking me to do for you right now, I’ll do. But know that I know that you are not who you say you are, Jeremiah. When you left my bed, you left me. I will only have your back because of our children, so whatever it is that you’re not telling me. God will fix it. This is not about you.... It’s about us, our children, and our family, so fix it!” I demanded and exited my office. I didn’t need to know the details, because I already knew how foul he was. I just had to figure out what my next move was going to be, and I didn’t have time to deal with Jeremiah’s woes.

  I had other stuff to worry about, like how I was going to keep Quentin a secret and when was I going to have my next orgasm. Whatever the rumors were or whatever the church was whispering about most likely reflected some truth, because after what I had seen, I didn’t put shit past Jeremiah. “Jesus, fix it,” I mumbled as I headed back to my awaiting client. I hoped that the church threw his gay ass under the bus. At that point, I couldn’t care less what happened to him or to my phony-ass sham of a marriage.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Samantha

  I hadn’t seen my house or restaurant in two days. I got up after my first night with Charles and put on the same clothes I’d worn the day before, and we headed to his mother’s house to choose an outfit for her home going. After we dropped it at the funeral home, we went to the grocery store to get something to prepare for dinner. Well, something for me to prepare for dinner, because Charles wasn’t a cook.

  It was close to five when we finally made it back to his place, and even though I insisted I needed a change of clothes, he persuaded me to stay. We sipped wine and talked. I thought I had learned more things about him in these few days than I had when we were married.

  “I didn’t know you were afraid of heights.” I laughed.

  He refilled my glass and tried to assure me that this wasn’t the first time I’d heard that news.

  “Sam, you’ve known forever. Remember when we were house hunting? You were dead set on a high-rise, and I was like, ‘Never. No. Never. No way.’”

  “I didn’t know it was because of your fear of heights,” I teased.

  “Ummm, you did.”

  “Ummm, I didn’t.”

  We laughed. We paused and looked at each other and then kissed. I pulled away. I was in love with the idea of us, but I wanted to make sure he wasn’t simply reacting to his mother’s death.

  My tone changed. “Charles . . .”

  “Yes?” He smiled.

  “What is this about? I mean, what are we doing? You are in a raw state right now with Mom passing. I mean, I don’t want to get all confused and wrapped up, and then you throw me away when you are feeling better.”

  “Sam, honey. Baby, come here.” He pulled me closer. “Inside, I’m an emotional wreck, and Mom’s passing is killing me. But I have loved you since the moment we met. I didn’t want the divorce. I moved on because I was forced to move on. I didn’t want us to split. I was pissed about the STD, don’t get me wrong, but I loved you and trusted you enough to know that you were not out two-timing me.

  “I went into research mode and sought out any and all information I could get about the virus and learned that a person could have the virus in their system for a very long time and not have any symptoms. I tried so hard to talk to you, to show you that it happened before me, but you were hell-bent on me being a cheater. I mean, you rushed out and filed for the divorce and kept shutting me down, when all I wanted to do was work it out with you.

  “I don’t care what you have been diagnosed with Sam, or whether it’s terminal or incurable. I love you. I never wanted to leave you, and I never stopped loving you. I may never get over you.” His eyes welled up, and then mine did. “I am not using my mother’s death to get close to you. I want to be with you. I love you beyond whatever health issues you may have. Making love to you is all I want to do, and there are ways we can please each other. I know each and every time we are intimate, I’d put myself at risk, but I’ll risk it all for you.”

  My heart thumped inside of my chest. Charles was the man I had fallen in love with. He was that man who had swept me off my feet, because I had honestly played hard to get. I had met him when I was in college and was working at my family’s restaurant, Sammie’s.

  He came in, looking not dapper but ordinary, and asked, “What specials do you have? Because I’m on a budget.”

  I smartly replied, “McDonald’s is a few blocks away. They have a value menu. However, we don’t.”

  “Well, do you have any student discounts?” That time he smiled.

  His smile was beautiful, so I said, “For you, we do.”

  After that, he became a regular, and I grew fond of him really fast. I began to sneak in the kitchen and whip up his dish myself just to keep from charging him.

  One day, out of the blue, he asked. “Can I take you out?”

  “With what? You don’t even pay here.”

  “No place fancy. Just to the park. We can take a walk and talk.”

  Inside, I was doing cartwheels. I had grown to like him. “Only if you can afford to get me a snow cone.”

  “I can.” He smiled brightly at me.

  One date, one kiss, and I was hooked. I was not a young girl. I had been around quite a bit, but never had I met anyone like Charles. I fell head over heels in love, and I was falling in love all over again now.

  I turned to him. “Charles, I’m sorry for blaming it all on you. I was wrong, and I do miss you. I have been missing you, and if you want to be with me, I’m willing to try us again.”

  He held me tight. I didn’t know if what I had said made him happy or sad, because he began to sob. I held on to him until he stopped crying.

  “Baby, are you okay?” I asked.

  “I am. I lost my mother, but I got you back. This is truly a bittersweet time for me. I’m so angry and hurt about losing her, but at this moment, I’m overjoyed to be with you. Forgive me for being like this. I know it’s not manly.”

  “No, baby, you are perfect. This is a very tough time for you. Losing your mom, I expect you to cry. You have no idea how much I understand your position. I’m your lady, your wife, your mate, and we should have never parted. I was so focused on blaming and making you out to be the bad guy that I lost sight of the man I married. I never had any doubts until my outbreak. You were a good husband. Too many long hours working, but you were a good husband.” I kissed his head.

  “I love you, Sam.”

  “I love you too.” I smiled and stood up. “Now I should get dinner going, because my tank is empty.”<
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  “Hook it up, baby,” he said, slapping my ass.

  I was grateful I had him back in my life. There was no big secret I had to hide, and it was a huge relief.

  I cooked dinner while he kept me company. We fed each other, and afterward, we cleaned the kitchen together again. He showed me how to work some of the gadgets in his home, like the fireplace, the stereo, and that complicated shower. I told him the tub would be my best friend, and he agreed, as long as I took my last shower with him tonight.

  We had fun, and when we got into bed, he surprised me with a contraceptive called a dental dam. It was a thin latex film that you could put over your area and still receive oral sex. That was probably what he had disappeared to get when he’d said he had to run by the office.

  “Charles, baby. It’s okay. I know I’m infected. You don’t have to.”

  “But I want to, Sam. I want to please you too. This thing is horrible, baby, and I’m sorry you contracted it, but I don’t want it to ruin it for us. I want to marry you again, and I want to please you. Let me do that.”

  I looked at him and digested it all. Charles loved me. He went above and beyond to express that, so I lay back and let him please me. He started at my lips, then my nipples, and worked his way to my center. Although the pleasure was not as intense as I remembered, it was enough to make me cum. Trembling, I panted and thanked him over and over again for pleasing my clit. It had been so long since I had had oral done on me.

  I devoured his dick, sucking it like it would be my last time, and let him release inside of my mouth. I swallowed it all, and we both collapsed on the bed.

  A few minutes later, he nudged me. “I’m not done with you yet.”

  I was okay with what had already gone down, but I was up for more.

  “Okay, baby. I’m ready.”

  Ten minutes or so later, he was hard again, and I was still wet enough for him to slide in easily. We went at it for what seemed like hours, and by the time Charles passed out, my body was immobile. If a fire broke out, I’d burn, because I couldn’t move. He pulled me close, and we snuggled under the covers. It felt like old times, and I was glad to be with him. Happy to be back with the man of my dreams.

  The following day, I had to go home. I needed to get clothes, and I had to check on my restaurant. Everyone knew I had a death in the family, so I got a lot of condolences when I walked in the restaurant. After surveying everything, I went into my office.

  My assistant manager stuck her head in the door. “Hey, Sam.”

  “Hey, Patrice. Thanks you so much for filling in. With Charles’s mom and the funeral arranging, I’ve been so busy.”

  “I can imagine. I’m sorry about your loss.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So, Ethan has come by a couple of times for you. I finally told him that you had a death in your family and I wasn’t sure when you’d be back. The strange thing is he asked for your number.”

  I cocked my head to the side. “What? That makes no sense.”

  She shrugged. “Well, he did, and I told him I’d tell you to call him, but since you were dealing with family issues, I decided not to disturb you.”

  “That’s fine,” I said. I was confused. I had texted and called him the entire day after he left my place, but he hadn’t answered.

  “So when will you be back to work?” Patrice asked.

  “Well, the service is Saturday, so I should be back on Sunday for sure. Will you guys be okay?”

  “Of course, Sam. You need some time off. You work so much.”

  “Well, at first I had nothing else, but now ...” I blushed.

  “What?” she said, stepping into my office. She took a seat in one of the chairs. “Come on. Spill. It’s you and Charles, isn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I squealed. “I think we are going to be together again.”

  “What about what’s-his-face? Ethan? I thought you guys were a hot item.”

  “I thought so too. I mean, things were fine, but I confided something in him, and then, the next day, no him.”

  “Well, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

  “Well, he assured me it wasn’t, and then, the next day, he went ghost and I was ignored. The following day, I was heading out to come here, and Charles was on my doorstep, with the news of his mom. I’ve been with him ever since, with no calls or texts from Ethan.”

  “For the record, he came here looking for you,” Patrice said.

  “Well, I’m back with my husband now.”

  “Wow. I’m happy for you, though. You look happy.”

  I smiled brightly. “You know what, Patrice? I really am. I promise you I did not see this coming, but the very first night, being alone with him, we just reconnected.”

  She stood. “Well, that is great. I gotta get back to work. I’ll see you soon, and good luck to you and Charles.”

  “Thanks.”

  After she left my office, I went through the deposits for the past couple of days that I had missed. Then I left the restaurant and headed to my house. When I got there, I was shocked to find Ethan sitting on my stoop.

  I got out of my car, and he stood up from his spot on the stoop.

  “Where have you been, Sam? I have been looking for you for three days.”

  “Really?” I barked.

  “Yes, really.”

  I walked by him to open the door, and once I had it unlocked, I stepped inside. He walked in behind me. “After you just conveniently ignored me the day after I confided in you.”

  “I didn’t ignore you, Sam. I lost my phone.”

  I laughed in his face. “What kind of fool do you take me for?”

  “I’m serious. I left here, went home to shower and change for work, and I couldn’t find my phone. I went without it the entire day, and the next day I finally went and got a new one. Since I didn’t have my numbers backed up, I lost everything. My calendar, pictures. Everything.”

  It might have been true, but I didn’t believe him. And, on top of that, I was back with Charles. “Well, I didn’t know that was the case, so I apologize.”

  “You know I wouldn’t have just left you like that. I’m not that type of guy,” he said, pulling me close.

  I pulled away.

  “What’s wrong, Sam? I’m not lying. I didn’t have your number. I even went by the restaurant, looking for you, a few times, and then I came here. Where were you? I heard someone died in your family.”

  “It was my mother-in-law, well, my ex-husband’s mother. I have something to tell you. You may want to have a seat.”

  “I’m fine standing,” he said sharply.

  I felt horrible. He hadn’t dissed me because I’d told him about my virus. He’d merely lost his phone.

  “Listen, first of all, I thought I scared you off. I . . . I . . . I . . . thought what I told you was too much and that you had a change of heart.”

  “Sam, just come out with it. What’s going on?”

  “Charles and I . . .” I swallowed hard. I was so scared to tell him. I liked Ethan, I really did, but Charles and I had rekindled the flame.

  “You and Charles what, Sam?” he replied.

  “We’ve decided to get back together,” I said in one breath.

  His eyes bulged, and he looked at me like I had just told him he was dying. “You’re joking, right? In the course of four days, since I left your house the other morning, you have managed to work things out with your ex-husband?” His tone was harsh, and I deserved it.

  “I didn’t plan for it. It just happened.”

  “Did you forget that you had a boyfriend?”

  “No. I thought my boyfriend was done with me.”

  “Sam, I can’t believe what you’re telling me.”

  “I know, Ethan, and I’m sorry. I can’t explain how things changed just that quickly, but I’m sorry. I honestly thought I’d never see you again after that.”

  “Well, I’m here now, and I care about you, Sam. You can’t just throw me under the bus.”
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  “Please, Ethan, don’t make this hard for me. Some old feelings have resurfaced. I love him.”

  “Wow,” he said, backing up. “Now you love him? The dude that cheated on you and gave you herpes?” he said sarcastically. I knew he was pissed, but that was a low blow.

  “Well, I believe him now. I believe he didn’t.”

  He shook his head. He paced a bit and stared at me. “Are you sure this is what you want? Because if I walk out that door, Sam, I’m not coming back.”

  I wasn’t sure, but then again I was. Hell, now that Ethan had explained why I hadn’t heard from him, I was a little torn. “I can’t say for sure, Ethan, but I can’t be with both of you.”

  He let out a sigh and flopped down on the sofa. A cushion rose from the impact, and I caught sight of an object.

  “What’s that?” I said.

  “What?”

  “That.” I pointed. “Between the cushions.” He reached down and retrieved his phone.

  “My phone. Thank God I found this. I need all my info out of it.” He looked relieved.

  “I’m glad you found it too. I had no idea it was there.”

  “It’s cool.” He stood. “So I guess this is it?”

  “It is.” I dropped my head.

  He stepped close, lifted my chin, and then pulled me closer for a kiss. His kiss was so good, so sweet, and I didn’t want him to let me go. But I was back with Charles, so kissing Ethan had to stop.

  I allowed myself to indulge for a bit before I pulled away. “You should go.”

  He caressed my face. “Yeah, I should.” He turned and started to walk away. He stopped at the door. “I do wish you two well, Sam. It was nice. I just hate that I fell in love with you.” Then he walked out.

  In love? Did he say, “In love”? I felt like shit. Ethan was the perfect boyfriend, and even after learning my secret, he still wanted to see me.