by Zoey Marcel
“We quit talking to each other for a while,” Travis continued. “It got real ugly, but then we made up and just tried not to talk about you. It finally blew up in our faces, and we realized we were all in love with you. We got this crazy idea into our heads that if you ever came back to us we would share you and make you our wife.”
Her heart galloped like a stampede of wild horses in her chest. They all wanted her as their wife. They wanted to share her. How did they want to share her? Separately? Together? Both?
“You're awful quiet in there. What are you thinking?”
Kayla gulped, noticing the way her fingers shook and her body warmed with a subtle tingle of excitement. She felt something beyond numbness and pain. The fear was ever-present, but she felt aroused—something she hadn't felt in months, the last time being when she sucked Virgil Paisley off in his truck. That was the last time she’d seen him. He still wandered through her mind sometimes, and she missed him.
How the hell could she love him, the three Langley brothers, and that marvelous bastard Master Hugh who left her?
“I don't know.” She wanted to cry but couldn't. Even when she'd heard the terrible news about her dad her soul had shattered, but the tears hadn't come right away.
Beck Hammond had taught her not to feel, though not intentionally. Shock had numbed her to the trauma her mind and body couldn't cope with. Eventually she had just shut down completely. She'd stopped fighting to avoid the brutality the barbarians dished out whenever she went against them. She'd stopped crying, stopped feeling.
It was only through orgasm that tears were triggered, droplets of shame and emotional release. It had stunned the hell out of her that she'd broken down and cried in front of Travis yesterday when he told her that he and his brothers had waited for her. It was a dream come true. When he'd held her in his arms and kissed her, she'd known she was really home and that someday he would help her feel again.
“Well, what do you think of being shared by the three of us?” Travis wanted to know.
Her throat went dry, and steady warmth pooled in her belly. “It sounds nice ... and overwhelming.”
“We would take it slow with you. That and we have no experience with sharing, so it'll be something new for all of us.”
Her pulse went erratic. “Do you mean individually or together?”
The pause was maddening. “Well, both if you're interested. We're not fools. We know a lot of women fantasize about being with more than one man at once, and we want to give that to you. That and you said you loved us and wanted all of us. Is that still true?”
If she said no, she could escape the mounting fright the provocative images sparked in her mind. But then she'd never have the chance to make love to her sweethearts. Would they still take her if she didn't agree to share or indulge in their chocolate sexual preferences?
“It's true,” she said quietly. “I'd rather start off individually, though, and then try the other.”
“That's fine. Now it's my turn to ask the questions.”
Oh, great. Here it comes.
“What happened to you in California?”
Her eyes clamped shut, unwilling to open. “I don't want to talk about it.”
“Kayla, you can't keep something like that locked up inside you forever. It'll eat you alive.”
“Travis, I'm fine. I made a few mistakes. It's no big deal. You act like I was raped.” Maybe she could convince him otherwise and he'd quit hounding her.
The seat creaked, and she knew he stood, drawing closer to the shower curtain. “I know you were.”
Kayla froze, heart beating like a drum in a heavy metal rock song.
“I'm going to come in there, Kayla, but I'm walking in backward with my eyes closed. I won't look at you or touch you. I'll even leave my clothes on. I just want to hold your hand with my back to you while you tell me what happened.”
Of all the delicious terror. She wanted to cling to him and feel him driving deep inside of her, but damn it, that scared the shit out of her.
“Are you okay with that, or do you need me to stay out here because you were raped?”
Her jaw clenched. Manipulative twit, he was a clever one, but she could play his game with equal finesse. “Come right on in. I told you I wasn't.”
A cool draft blew on her, and her nipples beaded as the curtain was drawn back just enough for him to step into the tub barefoot, still wearing his boot-cut jeans and black T-shirt. He closed the curtain, keeping his back to her and his eyes shut as promised. Travis Langley was a man of his word. She'd always admired that about him.
“Travis, your clothes are going to get soaked.”
“I don't care.” He felt the air until he found her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Talk to me, darlin'. What happened to you?”
“Not a thing.”
“That's not gonna work, girl. I grew up with you. I know when you're lying to me.”
Well, crappers.
“Well, maybe this will convince you.”
She gave his clearly interested groin a hard squeeze. The veiled anger that motivated the vigorous pressure surprised her. She'd viewed herself as a victim and a stupid girl for having allowed herself to become one. It hadn't occurred to her until just now that she was angry to the point of bitterness. They had taken everything from her, and she had nothing left to give the cowboys who deserved her all.
Travis moaned, failing at what seemed like some kind of pathetic attempt to stifle it. “Damn, girl. Cut that out. You're not getting out of this.”
“Neither are you.” She tugged on his arm, and he shifted on his feet as she worked open his pants with angry fingers. “Does this feel like something a victim would do, Travis?”
She yanked his wet jeans and boxers down with one rough motion, forcing them down his legs as they fought her to cling to him. He seemed only too eager to step out of them and kicked them aside. Her stomach knotted when he rolled up the partially damp T-shirt over his head and chucked it.
His eyes remained closed, but lord, what a beaut. Her lips opened, but no words came out. His stocky frame had a nice mixture of padding from love of food mixed with pleasing muscle. He wasn't overdone on either spectrum.
His dark chest hair called to her itching fingers like a male siren intent on ruining her. In some ways he already had. He'd spoiled her for anyone else. Well, minus four exceptions, of course.
“Can I open my eyes, cricket?” he asked, tone becoming husky with lust.
Her fingers smoothed over the dark hair on his chest that was getting matted down by the shower head pelting him with water. His hard cock rode high and bulged with intimidating thickness. It was breathtaking, though she cringed at the thought of that angry beast plowing inside her like a meat-head. Somehow she knew he'd take his time with her and be gentle. He would undoubtedly give her plenty of orgasms to relax and prime her.
Her blood ran cold when she realized he'd never stop trying to make her climax. Would she be able to come without shame ever again? Could the tears of regret and humiliation really ever be held back when a man put his hands and mouth on her?
Master Hugh had shown her the paradise of sex.
Beck and the other bastards had shown her the perdition of it.
“Yes, Travis.” She swallowed down her fear, trying to act tough. “You can open your eyes.”
He would see her naked. Would he like what he saw? Maybe she should keep him from seeing the entirety of her extra pounds. She wasn't too overweight, but enough to make her self-conscious. In clothes she had plenty of confidence, though. Too bad they couldn't fuck while she left her clothes on. She'd be an unstoppable tigress then.
Travis opened his eyes, breath hitching when he took in her unveiled, wet body beneath the hot spray.
“My God, Kayla.”
She sucked in her gut, pleased that he didn't seem aware that she did so as Master Hugh once had. The thought of him leaving her still depressed the crap out of her. She couldn't think about him
right now. It would hurt too much. Nothing must ruin this moment with Travis.
He swept over her body with a look of silent admiration and desire. She felt strangely beautiful under such a look from him and almost ... priceless. It choked her up a bit.
How could he make her feel when pain and pleasure from outside sources left her numb now? Somehow he managed to breach through her defenses and make her feel again, though she wasn't sure if she wanted to. Feeling would mean she had to face the harrowing realities of her history. That was unthinkable. It was easier to be numb and simply exist. Darn Travis for trying to make her feel again.
He stepped closer, astonishing her to the core at her inaction when he put his hands on her. Warmth penetrated the layer of numbness, though it didn't abolish it completely. The tender kiss helped, except for the part where she couldn't see his face. She forced her eyes open trying to remain calm and remind herself it was him.
His rigid dick brushed against her tummy, making her flinch. The flaming shaft felt decadent sizzling against her bare skin, but it freaked her out a bit. He cupped her buttocks firmly, one in each hand and simultaneously pulled her into his body as he pressed his cock against her belly. The organ hardened and bloated as it cradled snugly between them. He deepened the kiss, and his tongue became more aggressive as it humped hers with startling enthusiasm.
At least I distracted him, but what if he wants to stick this king size pecker in me? Ouch. Not happening. Bigger isn't better. It just hurts worse.
She tried to crowd out the flashbacks, but even with her eyes open she couldn't take in all of Travis's face while he mauled her mouth. His dick ground against her stomach, and she heard Beck's voice in her head.
Kayla took a step back, trying to get Travis's cock off her belly. It felt sinful and yummy against her wet flesh, but it sparked too many unpleasant memories of other men. His right hand moved to the front of her, and one of his fingers dipped into her cleft to touch her clitoris.
She broke the kiss, relieved when he let go of her, looking surprised and concerned.
“Kayla, what happened?” he asked in a serious tone.
Her body language betrayed too much. Time to bring out that might-have-been actress. She put on a coquettish smile and batted her lashes at him in a flirty manner. “I want your cock in my mouth.”
Before he could reproach her for the attempt at distraction, she was on her knees, sucking his dick with a hard suction that left him swearing and moaning loudly. He panted and pushed into her doting palm as she squished and rolled his heavy balls.
She pulled off his meat and put on a facade of confidence. “Would I love all over you like this if I got hurt in the past?”
“It's just last night you acted—”
She went down on him again, feeling out of her element to be taking control. The concept of relinquishing it seemed new to him as well.
“We're still talking later,” he ground out as he massaged her shoulders. “You can't get out of it. I don't care how good you are at this. Oh lord, yes! I'm not gonna forget.”
“There's nothing to talk about.”
She suctioned him as far as she could, although deep-throating was something she had no experience with and frankly, no desire to learn. His salty essence leaked onto her tongue, engaging her taste buds and treating them to a lascivious snack. He came quicker than she would have thought, and she mentally patted herself on the back for apparently blowing his mind. He shot his spunk into her throat, and she went ahead and swallowed it. Why not?
His knees shook as he braced himself on her shoulders, bearing down on her and holding her in place until he was ready to let her up. The dominant gesture triggered long lost urges and made her miss her old Master even more. Some part of her still felt drawn to BDSM, but the flashbacks of pain and abuse from other men made her oust that thought fast.
Travis pulled his cock out and studied her curiously, seeming aroused by the sight of her on her knees in front of him.
“Stand up, Kayla,” he said in a quiet tone that sounded like an order.
She involuntarily rose to her feet, quivering when he put his big hands on her and backed her into the wall so she couldn't escape from him.
“I want to touch you this time, Kayla.” He ran his palm over her drenched hair. “Unless you can give me a reason not to.”
She shrugged with faux indifference. “Nope, touch away.”
Tremors of want rippled through her when he ran his hands all over her body. She pulled him into a slow, meaningful kiss to keep him from seeing the nervousness in her eyes. His hands cupped and kneaded her full breasts, seeming delighted by them. Well, good. His hands on her were beyond wonderful.
His right hand journeyed lower in a nonthreatening slither that concerned her. She knew where that mischievous hand would end up. She jumped and tore herself from the kiss, needing to see his face. It was Travis touching her. Thank God.
“You're so soft and warm down here, darlin',” he whispered with a gentle brush of his fingers down her cheek.
“You shouldn't touch me. I could have—”
“The results were negative.”
“What about the first test?”
“Shh. It was obviously a mistake. Even if you did have it, I'd still take you.”
Her eyes bugged out, and her jaw dropped. “You're insane. What if you got it?”
He shrugged. “I'd wear a condom.”
“What if it broke?”
His blue eyes softened as he played with her wet folds. “Then I wouldn't have to live without you, would I?”
Her eyes stung, and she lowered them, fighting back tears of emotion. Damn, he was getting through to her. “You'd risk your life just for sex?”
He shook his head and gently rolled her sensitive clit. “Not for sex, for you. I wouldn't be crazy enough to screw somebody that had a disease, but if it's you then it's irrelevant to me what you have. Dying with you is better than living without you.”
The floodgates opened, and she couldn't stop them. “That's so sweet, but you don't deserve to die.”
He angled her chin. “Neither one of us is gonna die. You think I'm gonna let my brothers outlive me?”
She gave him a weak smile, gasping in rapture when his head lowered and he drew a taut nipple into his mouth. His skill did him proud. Knowing that he did this out of love as much as he did lust gave her feelings she'd forgotten existed. His balmy tongue mimicked hummingbird wings against the pointed nub before lavishing the same erotic attention on its twin.
He eased to his knees, kissing a steady trail of seduction down her slick belly as he made his way to her damp forbidden flesh. Oh God. She would crack for sure if he put his mouth on her. He split her labia and examined her moisture-coated slit with a satisfied smile before sticking his head between her thighs.
It's just Travis. No big deal.
She felt numb with oral sex, but not with the rest of the touching he'd given her. Kayla watched his head move as he sucked her cunt, making slurping noises that awoke unpleasant memories.
It's just Travis, dummy. Calm down. You can frigging see him, for crying out loud.
But the memories fought to claw their way to the forefront of her mind even as she battled to keep them out. When she heard a predatory growl rumble deep in his chest, she felt her eyes burn, recalling the war of numbness and nausea in her past. His finger slowly penetrated her vagina while he licked her tingly clitoris. She still felt something at least, but it was too much, too familiar.
She burst into tears, fighting the wave of hysteria. “Stop, I can't! Please don't suck on me!”
Travis's head snapped up. He looked worried and possibly angry.
“I'm sorry,” she sobbed. “I tried to ignore it, but I don't want to remember. Please don't make me remember.”
She buried her face in her palm, humiliated that she'd just removed all doubt from his mind.
He stood and put his hands on her arms. “Damn it, I knew it. Don't lie to me, gir
l. What the hell happened to you in California? And don't say 'nothing' or I'll spank you.”
A spanking?
Heck, yes. Pain alleviated the sullied feeling.
“I want you to.”
“Are you sassing me, Kayla?”
A rising sensation hovered in her stomach, and she felt alive with desire at the authority he spoke with. She missed being dominated even as it terrified her to ever give up that level of control again.
“No, Sir.”
Kayla went breathless when she saw the way his eyes changed at the way she referred to him. How stupid of her. She'd just shown a Dom respect and apparently riled his dominant instincts. Her eyes dropped, and her pussy moistened when she realized that she'd just shown him even more deference. He probably loved this.
“I want you to spank me. I like being hurt.”
She liked being numb. Physical pain hurt a lot less than emotional anguish.
What a stupid girl she'd been to refuse her daddy's offer to pay for self-defense lessons. She'd been worried about getting hurt. Well, she bloody well had gotten hurt since then.
Travis hooked a finger under her jaw and brought her focus up to him. “You lied to me, Kayla. I never accepted that kind of behavior from any of my submissives, but I damned sure won't tolerate that kind of crap from the woman I'm gonna marry.”
Her eyes closed with guilt, but if this painful lecture led to the spanking she needed then it would be worth it.
He wanted to marry her even though she was fucked up to the four corners of the earth? Her heart melted, and the tears ran silent down her cheeks.
“I'm gonna spank you, Kayla, because we both know you need it. And then you're gonna tell me who did this to you.”
Oh, she was, was she? He could spank her all he liked. Her lips were sealed.
“Turn around.”
Oh crappy curses, how could she keep from a panic attack if she couldn't see his face? She slowly did as he commanded.
